X-Files S10E5: Groan and bear it

Sestra Amateur: 

In southwest Texas, an Arabic man prays, eats, drives, looks at pretty women and gets harassed by locals. He picks up a friend and they enter an art gallery right before it explodes. Was it their fault? Were they just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Doesn’t matter, because according to the opening credits, it’s a Skinner ep.

In the basement office of the FBI building, Special Agent Fox Mulder is showing Special Agent Dana Scully video of a worldwide phenomenon: Ear witnesses hearing trumpets “as if from the heavens themselves.” Dana seems amused by Fox quoting the Bible. They are interrupted by Sculder’s look – and sound – alikes: Special Agents Miller (Mulder Jr.) and Einstein (Scully Jr.) 

Agent Miller, played by Robbie Amell, brings the Texas bombing to Sculder’s attention. The two Arabic men were responsible after all and nine people died. One bomber technically survived but he’s not able to be interviewed. Miller wants to find a way to communicate with the nearly dead Muslim. Dr. Einstein, played by Lauren Ambrose, thinks they should try to find some living terrorists to stop. She wins and the two junior agents (Milstein? Einler?) head to the airport. While waiting for their flight, they overanalyze their brief meeting with the senior agents. Einstein nails it, Scully’s in love with Mulder. They get interrupted by Dana, who calls Miller and arranges to meet him in Texas. At the same time, Fox calls Einstein and convinces her to stay. By the way, Scully is still holding onto her mother’s quarter charm necklace from the previous episode.

It looks like there are some live terrorists for Einstein and Miller to catch; one is creating a suicide vest while listening to hate TV. Einstein meets with Mulder and he tries to open her mind a little. She gives him a grammar lesson instead. Dana meets with Miller, relays her own personal mystery and explains how she can help Miller’s investigation with science. Fox explains mugwump to Einstein (Harry Potter fans will get it; I didn’t) that he needs to ingest magic mushroom so he can communicate with the incapacitated terrorist. He also claims he didn’t ask Dr. Scully to help him because of her recent family tragedy. Einstein refuses and off she goes. 

Miller brings Dana to the suspect’s hospital room. Scully plans to hook up their suspect to a magnetic resonance imaging machine so she can chart his body’s unconscious reactions to her questions. Too bad the Department of Homeland Security has taken over the case. These DHS dudes are not playing by the same rules; Miller knows it and calls them on it. They leave as Einstein arrives. (I don’t think they got the timing of this one right. It’s not like Texas is as close to D.C. as Virginia.) She’s annoyed that Miller replaced her with another red-headed female doctor. Maybe she’s in love with Miller. Einstein plays hardball and calls Fox to Texas.

Dana and Miller don’t get their MRI machine until after Mulder arrives in the Lone Star State. But they get further delayed, bomb threats have been made to the terrorist’s hospital so now they’re on lockdown. Of course his nurse can’t be trusted, she turns off his machine so the test can’t occur. But Fox and Einstein interrupt her and she’s forced to turn the machine back on. 

The nurse distracts Einstein with fake outrage over the immigrant situation while Mulder ingests the magic mushroom in capsule form. He trips his way through the halls, roads and into a country bar where he enthusiastically joins in the line dance of a particular one-hit wonder by Billy Ray Cyrus. You may start to question the authenticity of it after you see Fox’s “mush room” ring bling as well as Skinner and The Lone Gunmen at his table. He dreams his way into a dominatrix vision featuring Agent Einstein, then a whip-cracking Cancer Man until finally stumbling across the intended target. I feel like I’m watching an episode of Twin Peaks.

Scully and Miller finally have their MRI machine up and running. Miller talks to the terrorist in Arabic; the nearly dead man responds to his native language, not just Miller’s voice. Mulder regains consciousness. Assistant Director Walter Skinner is there and ain’t happy to have Fox tainting the bureau’s image yet again. Einstein arrives and claims she gave Mulder a placebo, not a hallucinogenic. Fox insists he talked to the terrorist, who spoke to him in Arabic. Walter is ready to ship Mulder back home. After Skinner leaves, Einstein wheels Fox out of his hospital room toward the entrance. There he sees the terrorist’s mother, who Mulder recognizes from his vision quest. Fox and Einstein bring her to her son’s room and she almost faints when she sees Shiraz's current condition. The mom claims he talks to her about his innocence in her dreams and prayers. Shiraz reacts to his mother’s voice on the MRI machine, then flatlines.

The four agents finally play catch-up. Mulder tells Miller what he heard. Miller translates the words as, “Babylon the hotel.” Fox may be on to something; the FBI’s SWAT team descends on the motel and arrests several members of a terrorist cell. Later that evening, Team Milstein downplay their  contributions to this heroic conclusion. Einstein concedes how some things can be unexplainable. Miller does get the upper hand when he reminds his partner that she abandoned him first. Too bad no one caught the nurse who tried to commit murder.

Back home, Scully meets Mulder at his house. They go for a stroll and talk about the Bible. Then Fox hears his mystery trumpets “as if from the heavens themselves.” Too bad Dana doesn’t hear it. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Mulder was saved but not Scully? Does this mean Einstein would hear them and not Miller? Doesn’t matter; what matters is this wasn’t much of a Skinner ep after all.

Sestra Professional: 

I've heard a couple theories on the introduction of Miller and Einstein. Many thought they were going to form the basis of the revival going forward if they were accepted ... which they were not from the get-go. Others thought it was Chris Carter's little joke on the fan base, trying to get a rise out of us by pretending these two thinly veiled characters would be the new dynamic duo. Always a good idea to alienate your fan base. Of course, in his defense, fans have never shied away from voicing opinions on what we thought was end game for his show.

Turns out that's the least of the issues when it comes to this particular episode, which starts with certain Homeland tendencies. Well, it got that show, Damian Lewis and Claire Danes Emmys, so I can see why they just went with it. But "Babylon" gets racist before we arrive at the opening credits. It starts off revolting and doesn't really let up in that regard.

Maybe she challenges his B.S.: Maybe the introduction of Miller and Einstein affords the fan base that made snap judgments on Doggett and Reyes the chance to rethink that. Miller and Einstein's correlation is much more one-dimensional than our introduction to Mulder and Scully all those years ago. And it backs up the second theory posited in my introductory graph.

A little bizarre that each of the agents started working the case with his/her polar opposite, but I don't read anything into it beyond it being an obvious plot ploy. Dana's idea seems pretty valid, and one she probably could have shared with Fox. Scully's reasoning alone regarding the recent loss of her mother may have put her over the top, if in fact, Mulder showed any sign of hesitation.

Meanwhile, Einstein -- and distant relation aside, doesn't the flagrant use of such a name again seem like Carter messing with us? -- seems even more strident about not letting Fox get his two cents in than Dana ever did. Of course, that was before he let loose with the magic mushroom theory. I'll also give Einstein all due credit for delivering snappier patter than we've gotten for large stretches of the revival -- "I am getting a taste of what Agent Scully must suffer" and "I'll give you two minutes ... and then I'm due back on Earth." 

My loss is your gain: Every time I'm in danger of getting something out of this episode, someone says something like "How do you say, 'Howdy, pardner' in Arabic?" I'm not prone to easily getting offended, and I think political correctness on the whole has gotten way out of hand. So why am I still so bothered by the goings-on in "Babylon?" Maybe it's because of the Homeland agents and nurse voicing odious ideas that belong in secret chat room discussions. I don't want to wind up in that nurse's hospital ... ever ... no matter how serious my condition.

So Mulder's deep-seated reaction to allegedly ingesting a mushroom was to line dance to country music? Well, it does make me laugh in the face of a really unenjoyable episode. It gives us the chance to see the Gunmen again, they're definitely missed on the canvas. The strapping of Fox to an alien bed seemed a lot more like what we would have expected from such a Mulder sojourn. The presence of whips, check, that fits his profile. And, of course, the Cigarette Smoking Man needed to be there, cause there's a lifelong obsession if ever there was one. 

Did you ever think you'd hear Skinner say, "Dude, you're an embarrassment?" Maybe the second part, but not the first part. That said, Mitch Pileggi's delivery was pretty hilarious. Ya know, I kind of feel like I'm finally walking a mile in the agents' shoes while stumbling my way through this case. They're forever searching in darkness for answers they can't always find. Mine is an attempt to find a redeeming element. And I'm obviously trying too hard, cause Skinner saying "dude" probably shouldn't be the highlight of an episode about a bombing. 

Wonders never cease with you: As it's a Chris Carter-written and directed episode, we could expect that for all his stumbles, Mulder will actually be right in the end. Even though he has a placebo instead of a magic mushroom, Fox can still propel himself into another person's consciousness -- and remember enough about the conversation to stop more insidious violence. Now that's what I call being open to all the possibilities.

A heartfelt discussion about what's wrong with the world between our leads does not undo all the damage done. Dana mentions "unqualified hate that appears to have no end," but when it's presented the way it has been here, it does more to give rise to that kind of thinking than to dissuade it. Wrapping it up in a pretentious bow with hand holding to soothe the shippers' savage breast doesn't exactly do the trick. I understand that shippers may contradict me on this front.

This subject matter can be presented well, witness Martin McDonagh's Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, for example. But it isn't here. So ultimately, I come to the conclusion that, although there are X-Files episodes that are not my favorites -- Season 2 Episode 7's "3" with vampires in L.A. and the Mexican goat sucker (S4E11's "El Mundo Gira") come to mind immediately -- this one offends me as a human being and an X-Files fan. I'm dropping this to the bottom of my all-time ranking, with the proviso that it'll have some stiff competition coming up in the near future. 

Guest star of the week: Initially, I was not taken with Robbie Amell and Lauren Ambrose, but they actually do fine with what they have to work with. I'm giving the kudos to Ambrose for her convincing deliveries on the "woo woo paranormal." The Six Feet Under/Torchwood alum is pretty well-versed in delivering all manner of dialogue and cracking the proverbial whip (and now the real one too).

X-Files S10E4: There's no place like Home ... Again

Sestra Amateur: 

“In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days…” Sorry, the beginning of this episode put The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme in my head. In West Philadelphia, a homeless “relocation” project brought to you by the fine, upstanding members of the Department of Housing and Urban Development is underway. Things don’t end well for head pencil pusher Joseph Cutler. A man made of trash dismembers him, then leaves the area. Special Agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are called to the scene. (Apparently, they are “special” again after all.) 

Lead detective Gross isn’t quite sure what to do with his “spooky” murder case. (This isn’t spooky; it’s gross.) Mulder and the forensic tech notice there isn’t actual forensic evidence which can be processed to help identify their suspect. Dr. Scully realizes Cutler’s limbs were torn off, not severed. But her analysis comes to an abrupt end after a phone call from her brother, Bill Scully. Their mom, Margaret, has suffered a heart attack.

Fox reviews surveillance footage and sees a disturbing graffiti image of a tall man on a nearby wall that wasn’t there at the time of the murder. We know it looks just like our killer but Mulder doesn’t know that yet. He’s distracted by a bandage stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He secures it as evidence, probably because he doesn’t have anything else. Scully arrives at the hospital and learns from the nurse that her mother has been asking for Charlie, Dana’s estranged younger brother. (Do we know Charlie or is this revisionist history? I actually cannot recall.) 

Back outside the crime scene, Fox interrupts a spat between H.U.D. man Daryl Landry and School Board president Nancy Huff. He learns about the Band-Aid Nose Man from one of the homeless men. (I wonder if Band-Aid paid for product placement here. Maybe it should just be Bandage Nose Man.) Unfortunately, while distracted by these three fine Philadelphia residents, the graffiti image Mulder was dying to see up close and personal managed to disappear. 

Dana is sitting at her mother’s bedside, remembering Fox sitting by her own bedside once upon a time. Bill calls from Germany for an update. Scully talks about their mother’s wishes while watching another patient in the Intensive Care Unit die. She soon finds out her mother updated her living will without Dana’s knowledge and she chose to not be resuscitated after all. Meanwhile, Fox learns the results of the analysis of the bandage from his shoe; it is devoid of organic and inorganic material. It’s not alive or dead. It’s Schrodinger’s Band Aid. The graffiti image of the Band-Aid Nose Man has been stolen right out from under Mulder’s nose. Now that’s just embarrassing. But the "man" takes care of the two thieves, and he even takes out the “trash.”

Fox goes to the hospital to give Dana moral support and Huff serves Landry with an injunction to prevent the homeless relocation. Too bad she’s not doing it for altruistic reasons; it’s more of a N.I.M.B.Y situation (Not in My Back Yard). Back at the hospital, Scully has so many unanswered questions, like why was her mother wearing a quarter around her neck like a charm? And why did she ask for Charlie and/or change her living will? But more is going on in her head -- every time her cell phone rings, she thinks it’s William. Not brother Bill, not Mulder, but her son, William, who would be about 15 years old. Pretty sure she doesn’t have his cell phone number so that’s kinda weird. 

The Band-Aid Nose Man has come for Huff. You just knew parts of her were going to end up in that trash compactor she couldn’t stop using. Charlie calls Dana and talks to their comatose mother. She responds and opens her eyes. Her dying words are, “My son is named William too.” Scully thinks her Mom was referring to Dana and Fox’s son. (There are too many people named William in the Sculder families.) Too emotional to stay at the hospital, Scully wants to return to their investigation in Philadelphia. Now wearing her mother’s quarter necklace, Dana and Mulder chase a graffiti artist who points his gun at Scully. She quickly disarms him and gives Fox a condescending dressing-down when he lets the kid escape. 

They search and find a homeless man who tries to explain he’s not the killer, just an artist trying to get the garbage message out there. The Trashman's Band-Aid Nose Man is a tulpa – a thought form – he accidentally created. For some reason, Dana starts thinking of baby William’s young life during the exposition. She claims the Trashman is responsible for Band-Aid Boy's actions if he thought him into existence. But they have no time to waste; Sculder learns Landry got the injunction lifted and relocated the homeless people. Mr. Band-Aid is stalking Daryl when the agents and the Trashman arrive at the new group home. They just miss Landry being torn to pieces. I guess the tulpa's work is done. 

And now that the grotesque criminal case is over, Dana can focus on her mother’s final words. Scully still experiences regret for giving William up for adoption, even though it was to keep him safe. It seems she’ll never find peace when it comes to her son. Too bad it’s only going to get worse.

Sestra Professional: 

The revival's comedy episode is out of the way and tribute has been paid to the series' most prolific, and dare I say, influential director. It's time to get back down to the business of 1.) getting gross in that patented X-Files way and 2.) moving our leads' story along.

Writer/director Glen Morgan is just the man to handle these tasks. With co-writer James Wong, Morgan blazed the trail for the series' spooky cases -- those monsters of the week that we remember so well. From liver-eating Tooms (Season 1, Episodes 3 and 22) and the worm of death in "Ice" (S1E8) to human aberration Luther Lee Boggs in "Beyond the Sea" (S1E13), a template was set that the series forever tried to live up to during the rest of the regular run. And let's not forget the original "Home" denizens -- the Peacock family from the S4E2 episode that bore that moniker.

We can eliminate any 76ers, 'cause those guys can't find the rim: Mulder's still recognizing the ridiculousness of his former hypotheses during his initial examinations. Not that it stops him from making them, mind you, just that he's tagging the note of impossibility the rest of the world sees onto his comments. Scully's forever the scientific whiz, she can elaborate in excruciating detail about a victim's demise. But her cell contact list probably shouldn't be as precise, or she wouldn't think at first glance that brother Bill is long-lost son William on the phone. Dana's shaky-cam departure gives Fox a chance to work out some nuts and bolts -- such as attaching importance of street art to the murder.

Margaret Scully asked for Charlie after being hospitalized, and if you don't remember who that is, you're not alone. Dana informs us that her brother is estranged (makes sense, we haven't seen him since a youthful flashback in S2E8's "One Breath") and now there are two mysteries to solve in 44 minutes. We feel for her as Scully the doctor deals with a daughter's pain, particularly when she finds out her mother changed her mind about her living will without filling her in on it. However out of left field the story seems to be, Gillian Anderson gives us all the feels when Dana reacts to Margaret being taken off life support.

Meanwhile, Fox is sussing out the Band-Aid Nose Man. My initial reaction to the case was that it seemed reminiscent of the monster from "Arcadia" (S6E15). Morgan had departed the series by then, but series creator Chris Carter had a hand in that one. I'd like to see the Wilt Chamberlain of monsters take on the Gogolak created by the strident homeowners' association in "Arcadia." That would be a monster match for sure. Morgan's affinity for pop music is evident -- and reminiscent of the Peacocks -- with the playing of Petula Clark's "Downtown." Putting that setting into the context of the predicament of the homeless, we can visualize an underbelly of the song that we probably never considered before.

All of that is juxtaposed with the loss of Scully's mother. Poor Dana doesn't even get to hear her mom's last words said to her as Margaret directs them to Fox. Scully's more concerned about the content, though. And despite Mulder's best efforts, she wants to get back to work rather than think of the ramifications (again!) of giving up their child.

Back in the day is now: Dana's using that laser-like focus that helps you get through a personal crisis by concentrating her attention elsewhere. So as a picture of the gigantic monster gets literally painted by numbers for us, Scully gets to point out an old Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers axiom -- she did everything her male counterpart did, only in high heels. Then the Trashman imparts an extended lesson about how people treat people like garbage and why problems exist long after we stop thinking about them.

So the Band-Aid Nose Man's a tulpa ... it is just like the "Arcadia" monster, even if Mulder now thinks tulpas can't be used for that purpose. He's forgotten his own opinion, and Dana's too busy with William flashbacks to contradict him. She's taking the Trashman's words to heart when it comes to her son, even as she blames the artist for causing the rash of deaths. All the reasons why William was moved off the canvas for his own safety and the sanity of the rest of us who didn't want the series to turn into thirtysomething have been discarded alongside the other refuse.

With the case ... um, solved, I guess ... Scully figures out the other great mystery of the story. Why was Charlie foremost on her mother's mind? Because William's grandmother wanted her daughter (and Fox, I guess) to find their son. I don't think lines associated with the series like, "She made him" and  "I want to believe" needed to be encapsulated in Dana's final speech. It may have not lessened the impact of another fine Gillian performance, but it does take us out of the moment. I'd like to recycle that monologue and give her another crack at it.

Guest star of the week: Sheila Larken. Everyone in the trash-homeless story was painted into a one-dimensional corner. The emotional resonance and the impetus for us to move forward was provided by someone we'd become very attached to over the course of the series, even if we only saw her now and then. Dana's loss was our loss too.

X-Files S10E3: Minding our Manners

Sestra Amateur: 

Sestra Pro has been waiting very patiently for this episode. She is quite the Darin Morgan fan. So let’s get to it! In Shawan, Oregon, a couple of paint huffers interrupt a tall Creature of the Black Lagoon-ish type as he/she/it attacks some poor dude. Looks like the victim will be fine, but there’s another guy laying there with his throat slashed open who didn’t fare so well. 

What is up with the old-style intro and theme song? Looks like they’re trying to reclaim that past XF vibe. We see they’re not quite successful when Special Agent Dana Scully joins Special Agent Fox Mulder in their recently reacquired basement office space. (Are they still “Special”? Asking for a friend…) Fox has seen the light. Well, actually it's more like the reality of some unexplained phenomena that have reasonable explanations. Luckily, Dana has a new X-file for them to investigate, so off to Oregon they go.

Scully reads the case file to Mulder while they’re in the middle of the woodlands crime scene. Hearing Fox spouting plausible excuses for everything Dana mentions about the killings makes for an interesting, yet quickly tiresome, role-reversal take on their previous Monster of the Week investigations. Mulder’s right about one thing; the killer does only have two eyes. And those eyes are focused on a new victim, who quickly hits him square in the horns with her purse. 

Team Sculder heads to the truck stop to get more information about their tighty-whitey-wearing creature. They also locate Pasha (Kumail Nanjiani), the animal control officer who survived the pre-credits attack. Pasha is wise enough to run the other way when it looks like the creature has returned. While searching the area, Scully and Mulder stumble across a fresh victim. Fox, who’s taking way too many pictures with his smart phone, chases after the suspect, the cell phone camera’s flash signaling his location at every point. He gets startled by Pasha, who stereotypically tries to offer tech support to Mulder. While they’re distracted, the creature sneaks up behind them! Dana runs to assist. Fox is fine; Pasha is fed up and quits on the spot. Team Sculder chases the monster into a portable toilet. Or so they think. It’s currently occupied by a not-as-livid-as-he-should-be user, played by Rhys Darby. Fox and Dana give him back his privacy, but don’t see the horns protruding from the back of his head.

Scully is trying to perform an autopsy on the latest victim, but Mulder distracts her with really lame photo and video “evidence” on his phone. Dana manages to give the most accurate assumption of what they’re looking for: a 6-foot-tall horny -- well, horned -- toad.

Mulder is trying to sleep when a disturbance in the motel’s office draws his attention. The clerk, an elderly man swigging rubbing alcohol, plays the Greta Garbo card and demands to be left alone. Fox wanders around behind the walls of the motel after he realizes the animal “trophies” are actually Norman Bates-level peeping stations. After briefly spying on a sleeping Scully, Mulder ends up back in the motel’s office and listens to the old man’s tale: After briefly spying on a sleeping Fox, the motel manager became distracted by the man from the portable toilet, who has his own room. The man started yelling at himself and trashing the two-star accommodations. The old man watched while the guest began to transform into the red-eyed, green-horned monster. I don’t think he’s quite 6 feet tall though, Dana.

Mulder seeks counsel from Dr. Rumanovitch, who shares a fable about monsters within ourselves, blah blah blah. The good doctor does refer to the creature as a were-lizard, which seems more visually accurate than were-monster. (So why wasn’t this episode called "Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Lizard" instead?) Meanwhile, Scully has stumbled across the suspect at his place of employment. Unfortunately, she asked him a question and he promptly destroys the cell phone shop where he works and, like Pasha, quits on the spot. Mulder tracks down the suspect in a cemetery. After laying flowers at the grave of Kim Manners (nice touch, Darin), Guy, our were-lizard, breaks a bottle on the headstone of Jack Hardy (a less-nice touch but love the quote, "Nothing says thank you like cash") and tries to goad Mulder into assisted suicide with a green bottle. Fox agrees, but only after he hears Mann’s story.

OK, so the were-lizard was in the woods one night during a full moon, minding his own business when Pasha and the first victim disrupted his peaceful moment by struggling with each other. Pasha then bit him, and Guy ran away past the two paint huffers. He awoke in the woods the next morning as a naked human being, next to three dead bodies. After swiping one dead man’s clothing he got himself a job and was quickly – very quickly – promoted to manager. He instinctively ate fast food and watched porn in a hotel room, then celebrated as he changed back into his original form. Too bad it was only temporary. By the next morning, he was Mann again, a human being craving coffee and desperately needing to work. He found a shrink and a puppy to help with the transition but the adorable doggie disappeared. Guy was out looking for his puppy when he stumbled across his original attacker attacking another attackee. (So much attacking going on…) He transformed back into the were-lizard and made a run for it. That’s when he got smacked in the face with the purse and chased by Mulder into the porta potty. He also tries to convince Fox that a woman – Scully – had sex with him in the phone store. Funny how everything else is believable except that one part. Poor Guy realizes Fox is the fuzz and that he won’t get the assisted suicide for which he longs so the were-lizard leaves Mulder at the gravesite.

Fox gets drunk and passes out on Kim’s grave but wakes up to his X-Files ringtone. He tries to explain Mann’s story to Dana, who is at the Animal Control shelter with Guy’s dog and Pasha when the latter attacks Scully with a control pole! Mulder and the local police rush to the scene to save her, but of course, she saves herself and takes Pasha into custody. He verbally demonstrates his serial killer tendencies but Team Sculder don’t want – or need – to hear it. Fox races back to the woods to tell Guy he believes the were-lizard's saga. Luckily, he catches the creature as he prepares for a multi-millennial hibernation. They say their goodbyes, Guy changes one last time then skips to freedom. Oh, and Scully steals the dog. Hope he has a better fate than Queequeg.

Sestra Professional: 

There are faces and names associated with the entirety of The X-Files -- creator Chris Carter, leads Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny, scene stealers William B. Davis and Mitch Pileggi, the writing team of Glen Morgan and James Wong, genre-widening efforts from Vince Gilligan and Darin Morgan and Carter's clutch right-hand man, Frank Spotnitz. Add to that mix the Lone Gunmen, the various informants (Jerry Hardin, Steven Williams and Laurie Holden), Nicholas Lea, and then Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish at the end of the regular run and you have a pretty good representation. But the picture's not complete  -- because we're missing more directors, particularly a man who had influence on all of the above and more -- the late, great Kim Manners.

Manners wasn't only the most tenured director -- with 51, he was at the helm for a good quarter of the show. But starting with "Die Hand, Die Verletzt" (Season 2, Episode 14), he harnessed a vision of the show that became one of its trademarks. Others took lessons from him, which improved the overall look and quality of the series while he ascended to a supervising producer role by the end of the show. On more than one occasion, a character was inspired by him -- most notably the colorful Detective Manners in S3E20's "Josh Chung's From Outer Space." (That role was almost played by Manners, but in the end, he bowed out.)

So when Manners passed away between the end of the original run and the start of the revival, the question arose of how they could pay tribute to someone who was such an integral part of the franchise. The powers-that-be decided to let Darin Morgan handle it in his episode. That meant we'd get something right on point -- sweet and original yet befitting the moment. In short, the perfect touch.

Darin Morgan's effect on The X-Files outlasted his tenure. He left after the third season, but his out-of-the-box thinking paved the way for Gilligan to pen such gems as "Bad Blood" (S5E12) and Carter's efforts at doing the same (I'm thinking particularly of S5E5's "The Post-Modern Prometheus.") Still, there's nothing like a Darin Morgan joint, because he has the ability to think in ways that others don't. When you view one of his episodes, there are no throwaway moments. I'm forever uncovering subtleties in his work.

Having Darin back in the fold for the revival helped take the run to another level, because he didn't lose a step. "Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster" is chock full of Darin Morganisms, as well as a story greater than its outline. It's laden with lots of little gems, and it delivers more than the resolution of an FBI case. He's still making us think about the state of our world and our lives.

If that doesn't explain it, well then it was probably just ice: We start off with the return of the stoners (previously seen in S3E12's "War of the Coprophages" and S3E22's "Quagmire") and segue right into references from the days of old -- The "Truth Is Out There" posters and Mulder's penchant for tossing pencils. Darin gives Fox a diatribe to deliver on how much has changed in the interim between the regular run and the revival, while Dana shows off an illustration of the monster that was drawn by Anderson's daughter Piper. On site, Mulder sounds rather Scully-like, explaining away the monster with hypotheses of wolves and nudists.

A transwoman (admittedly on crack) gives her first-person account of the monster to raise Fox's interest level, and it's not too long before the guy who was just belittling the fact that everyone has a cell phone with a camera but no one gets photos of supernatural occurrences finds out how difficult it is to get that done. Scully, as usual, has got the better idea -- if there actually is a murderous monster on the rampage, she's emptying her clip into it.

A bit of privacy, please: Along this path, we run into the animal control officer played by X-Files super fan Kumail Nanjani, and I believe we get some insight into how difficult Darin Morgan finds it to deal with modern technology. (Dana's right again, the internet is not good for Fox.) And Rhys Darby's episode instruction must be what any actor always dreams of, he's pants-down on a porta potty toidi.

After Scully's autopsy devolves into a description of the perpetrator as a man-sized human lizard with with human teeth that shoots blood out his eyes, we find that Dana has gotten a lot more laid-back in the ensuing years. She's definitely not as irritated by Mulder's hypotheses as she used to be.

No, you're bat-crap crazy: Cue another Darin Morgan favorite with Alex Diakun as the dubious motel manager. X-Philes know him as the curator in "Humbug" (S2E20), the tarot dealer in "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" (S3E4) and Dr. Fingers in "Jose Chung." Dubious might be too weak an adjective, as Sestra Am mentioned, he is definitely displaying shades of Norman Bates. Also cue the return of Mulder's red Speedo ("Duane Barry," S2E5), and thankfully, the return of his wild conjectures, only made complete with such phraseology as "military-agro-big-pharma corporation." Someone must explain to me why that sounds preposterous in a Carter episode but just right in a Darin Morgan episode.

It's up to Guy Mann's borderline-creepy Dr. Rumanovitch (Richard Newman ... What? No previous Morgan/X-Files link?) to explain to us that it's easier to accept monsters out in the wild than the monsters lurking within ourselves. And Smart Phones ...Is Us -- yet another Darin gem, because the world needs more catchy store names/tag lines that are grammatically incorrect despite the fact that the word "smart" is in there.

Let's kick it in the ass: So in the midst of all this humor and insight comes our touching tributes to Manners and Jack Hardy (first assistant director on I Want to Believe as well as many Millennium episodes. Even though it's just Fox's decoy, Duchovny touchingly cleans off the Manners' head stone -- complete with the director's trademark line (fans of Supernatural probably recognize it too).

But moving on to the transformation(s) of Guy Mann. Mulder finds out his monster is not really a monster at all, just a big lizard adversely affected by the bite of the real predator. Yeah, this is how Dana likes her Fox ... and this is how I like my X-Files. Guy had found his new visage gave him the Darwinian ability to BS his way through anything ... such a human trait. The lizard found it very difficult to navigate fast-food drive-thrus (especially without any insect offerings), deal with a blaring alarm clock and work a job he hated. Like many mortals, he only felt better in the company of his puppy. Is it my imagination or does Mulder say Daggoo's name like Scooby Doo?

J'accuse, Monsieur Mulder! I was perfectly willing to believe that saga until he got to the most awkward sex scene in the history of Mann (and the rest of us). He did satisfactorily explain that away with his line about not being able to help lying about his sex life since he became a human. OK, I'm back on board, but Fox still has his uncharacteristic doubts. Maybe that's because he doesn't want to believe in a mortal life that's all about worries, self-doubt, regret and loneliness.  

The final act finds Mulder drunk on monsters and alcohol (and somehow whole with The X-Files theme song as his ringtone) and Scully not only emerging as the story's hero but getting some canine payback from the universe in the form of Daggoo. Really appreciate Pasha not getting to tell his story, that flies in the face of every TV program ever. Save it for the trial indeed. Well spoken, Dana!

Guest star of the week: Sorry, Kumail, but Rhys Darby really Manned up on this one. The New Zealand actor quoted from Hamlet (the first folio yet), made an incredibly convoluted story of transformation seem sensible and even spilled some blood for the cause -- he had to go to the hospital after breaking the bottle badly in the cemetery scene.