X-Files S5E3: Looking back at 100

Sestra Amateur: 

Back in 1997, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson were too busy filming a movie to work on The X-Files show, but it was The X-Files movie so that makes it OK. It still left the show’s writers and production crew with episode deadlines, so Vince Gilligan had the opportunity to write a Lone Gunmen origin tale for the millions (hundreds?) of fans who were dying to know the conspiracy theorists’ background. On the upside, after the bleak Season 4 finale and "Redux" episodes, this one should be fairly lighthearted and amusing. It takes place in May 1989, so maybe one of the boys will sport the Sonny Crockett look.


In Baltimore, S.W.A.T. responds to a burglary call. I guess the protocol was much looser back then. Usually patrol officers handle that sort of thing. They find blood, a naked Mulder shrieking, “They’re here!” (at least he’s consistent) and our Lone Gunmen, who “didn’t do it.” Of course, they don’t have that nickname yet, having just met. Langly the “Hippie” blames “Doohickey” and “the Narc” (Byers). Luckily for Baltimore P.D., their investigation is led by Det. John Munch, played by Richard Belzer. Munch -- the character -- has quite a diverse resume, having appeared on approximately 10 different TV shows. But when this episode originally aired, we only knew him from Homicide: Life on the Street, which just happens to take place in … Baltimore! (I love continuity!)

Munch interviews Byers first -- John Fitzgerald Byers, born Nov. 22, 1963 -- who works for the Federal Communications Commission as a public information officer. The man who was thisclose to being named Bertram recounts the tale. He was manning a booth at the computer and electronics expo at the Baltimore convention center when the mysterious “Holly” (Signy Coleman) crosses his path. The Narc follows her to Frohike’s table, where Doohickey is hawking his cable theft device. His booth is next to Langly’s, where the hippie is selling a clearer version of bootleg cable. Frohike and Langly argue until Holly walks away. 

Byers bumps into Holly and she tells him her tale of woe -- her psychotic ex-boyfriend kidnapped their 3-year-old daughter. They should have let Bruce Harwood shave his beard, he would have looked younger and the wide-eyed innocent thing might be more believable. Anyway, Holly has Arpanet documentation and thought she would find her ex at the convention. (Tech 101: The Arpanet was a precursor to the Internet.) Byers naively offers to help and accidentally accesses the Defense Department's data network. Byers is too skittish to continue because, well, he’s an FCC “narc” and his job is to stop people from doing just that. Holly asks him to look up her daughter’s name, Susanne Modeski, (spoiler alert: IMDb lists that as Holly’s name), but it’s an encrypted file. Byers prints it out and they hide when they spot her psychotic ex. By the way, it’s Mulder, in all his ungelled, unmoussed glory.

Frohike tries his sales pitch on Fox, but “Punk Ass” ain’t buying it. Langly is out to a very long lunch (he’s playing Dungeons and Dragons). “Narc” and “Pretty Lady” recruit “Doohickey” to decipher the encrypted file. Frohike suggests bodily harm over espionage, they can beat up the ex. Fox stops Frohike and Byers, flashes his badge and asks about “Holly.” And apparently, Mulder is perfectly OK with carrying a bulky 1980s model portable phone, even though he rarely has his way-more-compact '90s one on him when he needs it most. (See: No cell phone contact is used as plot contrivance in almost every episode.) 

Meanwhile, Byers’ co-worker is being hauled away by the military for computer hacking. (Lo, the dangers of playing Dig Dug. I always preferred Mr. Do.) Frohike convinces Byers not to turn himself in and they interrupt Langly’s D&D game. “Lord Manhammer” agrees to access the FBI mainframe and find out why they’re after “Holly.” The Three Fugitives pull up Mulder’s record and learn he’s very smart, very decorated and assigned to the Violent Crimes Unit. They also learn Holly is Susanne. She’s a former employee of the Army Advanced Weapons Facility wanted for murder and terrorism against the U.S. government.

Unfortunately for the Three Blind Mice, Susanne has found them. She claims she didn’t murder anyone, but admits she lied about having a kidnapped daughter to convince Byers to help her. Susanne says she helped create a gas that induces paranoia and then learned our government plans to test it on Baltimore residents. We also now know why every single hotel has a Bible: Electronic surveillance of the American people, of course. Frohike and Langly aren’t ready to believe there’s a dark side to the U.S. government. 

Susanne says the answers are in the encrypted printout, so our boys hack into a supercomputer and are able to prove everything she told them. They find the location of the gas and learn Susanne has been under surveillance all this time. So she performs an emergency tooth extraction and finds the bug. Snap, Crackle and Pop are now officially on board. (You can decide who is who, but Frohike seems like Pop to me.) They find the gas in a warehouse disguised as asthma inhalers. Boy, is our government sinister or what? Mulder shows up to place Susanne under arrest for multiple murder ... without backup, I might add. He also tells the Three Stooges they’re under arrest.

But the men who set up Susanne also have arrived and they shoot at Fox ... a lot. Mulder gets dosed with the gas and starts stripping. Just when the men are about to kill Fox, Susanne shoots them in the back. She escapes and Mr. X arrives with the cleaners. (It’s technically a prequel so Mr. X is alive!) He stares at the blubbering Mulder, then focuses his gaze on our future Lone Gunmen. Drugged Fox watches the cleanup which, from his perspective, consists of little aliens removing dead bodies. You know, if Mulder had used that bulky-ass phone to call one backup agent, then this would have been resolved a lot sooner. Byers is fed up and confronts Mr. X, who chooses not to answer the conspiracy questions but not to kill them either. Instead, he tries to scare the Three Amigos and clearly inspires their future nickname.

After hearing the full story Det. Munch thinks Byers is full of it. Upon returning to their cell, it's clear Byers now has his eyes open to government conspiracies. Mulder, who has finally returned to normal, calls Munch to get the Three Musketeers released. The detective decides he no longer wants to pay for cable and confiscates Langly’s gizmo. The Charmed Ones track Susanne to the Baltimore Guardian, but no one believes her story. She warns The Three Bears to stay paranoid and continue telling the truth to the public. But Mr. X has found her again – she should have pulled out all of her teeth, I guess. They chase her down and take her away. Mulder finds The Good, the Bad and the Ugly back at the convention center (Again, you can decide who is who). He tells them Susanne’s case is closed, but he wants the truth about what happened the night before. That’s our Fox, always searching for the truth. Now it’s time to search for proper hair care products.

Sestra Professional:

The X-Files hit the century mark with an episode that features no Scully and minimal Mulder. Like Sestra Am said, well, at least they're planning for the future. Fight the Future, that is. "The Unusual Suspects" was the first show made for the fifth season, while production for the film that would debut the next summer was wrapping up. I'm not sure it should have served as the landmark episode, and that premise was ultimately backed up by the fact that the original airing hauled in three million less viewers than "Redux II" the week before. 

But it's certainly a pleasant enough origin tale, filled with loads of Gilliganisms that warm the cockles of our hearts. The go-to writer attacks the task with relish too, concocting a meet-cute variation that not only brings the Gunmen together but also pulls Fox Mulder into their orbit. David Duchovny was a gamer, lying on the ground, naked and shouting "They're here" with a level of dramatics that won't be seen again until Darin Morgan's episode in Season 11.

You want to cha-cha? Where else would geeks of the stature of the Gunmen be in May 1989 but at a computer electronics show? It's a nice touch that Byers started out with the FCC. I can definitely buy Frohike doing the illegal cable snatch thing and Langly using his computer skills for such dubious pursuits as gaining access to handicapped parking. 

It wasn't quite what the Gang of Three had envisioned on their own as actors while coming up with back stories for their characters, though. In the fifth-season episode guide, Dean Haglund (Langly) said he thought they would have been a university garage band, while Bruce Harwood (Byers) saw himself as a former photocopier repairman. 

Still, I've always had a problem with the fact that three conspiracy-minded guys would not have already questioned the virtual holy grail of machinations -- the assassination of Kennedy. After all, it's how Byers got his name, one would think he would have been widely read on the subject, and thusly come up with his own speculations about that fateful day in Dallas.

Speaking of such conceits, Duchovny may not have been in "The Unusual Suspects" for long, but boy, did he create an uproar by wearing a wedding ring in the flashback episode. That nugget is somewhat diluted by Mulder's FBI profile in the episode, which lists him as single. But the episode guide said Duchovny "insisted" on wearing it, so the fan theory that the newlywed just forgot to take it off doesn't hold much water. Anyway, this hot-button topic will get a better ride midway through the season when we get to another flashback ep, "Travelers." 

Poor Susanne Modeski, she's suffering a fate at a level on par with Mulder and Scully. She's got all this information and no one will believe her. The only ones she can rope into helping her are a trio of yokels who don't know when to speak up and when to keep their mouths closed. And the only guy she can find to kiss is Byers. Although, I gotta admit, he definitely has his charms. Plus he's steadfast and true, if a little naive and way too green. Her tooth extraction scene proves to be one of the most harrowing of the series run. 

I heard it was a lone gunman: The money scene is when X shows up. First, it proves the old adage, "No one on The X-Files really dies," because they can always be brought back for this kind of circumstance or memories or death dreams. But secondly, he brings the action back down from its giddy heights and gives the goings-on some gravity. Otherwise, the trifecta might have been in danger of taking Munch's advice to wear aluminum hats to block out mind-control rays seriously.

Meta Munchables: Let's run down the list of Det. Munch's other television appearances beyond Homicide: Life on the Street and the Law and Order properties (Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, Trial by Jury) -- The Beat, Arrested Development, The Wire, 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. ... Having the esteemed detective on the show meant a network crossover, which proved easier than might have been expected, as Gilligan explained in the episode guide. "NBC was great about it and Fox was real happy too. Only the lawyers were a little nervous," he said. ... And Mulder's cell phone? Gilligan asked propmeister Ken Hawryliw to find the biggest cell phone he could. "He found this great old Motorola the size of a brick," the writer laughed in The Complete X-Files.

Guest star of the week: Richard Belzer, of course. Back in the day, network competition was so fierce, it was a real rarity for two shows to do crossovers, yet Munch traipses across four networks as easily as if he merely showed his badge to gain entrance. It's truly a testament to Belzer's skill as an actor, making the detective so malleable that he can be slotted into the funniest comedy or most serious drama. It's kind of both for our purposes.