X-Files S3E6: Simply almost 'Irresistible'

Sestra Amateur: 

In Cleveland, Ohio, a man and a woman are talking in a compact car. Not really much more you can do in a car that size, especially with a guy who’s about 6-foot-4 and a gal who Hannibal Lecter would refer to as “big around the hips ... roomy.” They’ve been dating online for three months, but this is the first time they’ve met in person. They kiss and it gets a little … slimy. Because of him, not her. He has a visible skin condition, like eczema or psoriasis on an X-Files level. She’s suffocating because of the ectoplasmic residue he shoved into her mouth during their makeout session.

The next morning, a young police officer finds what’s left of her in the car. Local police identify her as Lauren McKalvey. Detective Alan Cross – clearly no relationship to fictional detective Alex Cross – at least has the common sense to realize he’s out of his league and seeks assistance from the Feds. Sculder arrive and Mulder immediately starts asking the right questions. Turns out, Fox knows of four prior female victims from Aberdeen, Ohio, who were members of a lonely hearts club. Yep, sounds like serial killer material. For some reason, Cross is a little hesitant around Dana. Meanwhile, our killer, Virgil Incanto, is communicating with his next victim, Ellen Kaminsky, via the Internet. Landlord Monica, who clearly likes him, interrupts and tries to talk to him, but Virgil doesn’t seem interested.

Scully meets with Cross at the coroner’s office. She’s ready to begin Lauren's autopsy, but the detective voices his concerns -- he thinks Dana’s gender will bias her during the investigation because the killer is targeting females. Well, don’t prove him right, Dr. Scully. Cross leaves and Dana is ready to get down to business, but Lauren’s remains have essentially melted. What a disgusting, oozing mess. I’m not cleaning that up. 

Lauren’s roommate tells Mulder about 2Shy – hush hush, eye to eye – the nice man Lauren met online. Back at the coroner’s office, Scully tells Fox that Lauren is missing something -- about 43 pounds of fatty tissue. That’s an interesting diet plan, lose dozens of pounds – and your life – with no diet or exercise. 

Ellen is preparing for her date with 2Shy, who she knows as Huggs. Ellen is clearly skittish, but agrees to meet with him in person. Her friend, Joanne, warns her against the date because of the FBI’s warning for Cleveland-based lonely-heart females. Ellen eventually takes Joanne’s advice and stands up Virgil. But he has needs, so he hires a hooker instead. Incanto finds a big-boned lady of the evening. She doesn’t allow kissing, but he insists. Another hooker and her john stumble across Virgil, who runs away from his now dead “date.” The latest victim is identified as Holly McClaine – I guess writer Jeff Vlaming doesn’t think much of Bonnie Bedelia’s Die Hard character. Luckily, Holly tore off some of Incanto’s skin during the attack. 

The next morning Mulder updates Det. Cross with his psychological profile of their suspect. Fox thinks the obscure writing references to his victims mean he’s a grad student, translator or professor. Dana notes the skin under Holly’s fingernails. Is the skin supposed to look fake because Virgil isn’t normal or is the show just using really low-budget effects? Incanto is trying to wrap up his injured hand when he gets called downstairs to sign for a package. Monica’s blind daughter, Jesse, finds Virgil creepy. Monica is still trying to bond with Incanto, but she’s not his type – she’s way too thin. 

At the Cleveland Police Department, the police finish compiling a suspect list based on Mulder’s profile. Fox theorizes that their suspect is a fat-sucking vampire. Scully’s words, not his. I’m guessing any X-Files case in which the suspect is “genetically different” counts as a win in Mulder’s book. Fox, Dana and Cross divvy up the suspect list. For some reason, the detective is still reluctant to accept Scully as a capable investigator. Maybe he should go watch the first two seasons then cut her some slack.

Ellen is feeling bad about standing up Virgil, so she apologizes to him via email. Cross knocks on Incanto’s door before he can write back to her. The detective sees Virgil’s bandaged hand and knows he’s found his man. But Cross is toast for two reasons -- first because he’s not a contract player and second because he was sexist toward our beloved heroine. While Sculder are trying to locate the detective, Virgil meets Ellen for dinner. He clearly still has skin issues, so does that mean he couldn’t digest Cross’ fat? Or maybe there wasn’t enough fat to appease Virgil. 

Ellen drives Incanto home, and he initially wants her to come inside but then notices someone is in his apartment. It’s Monica, who came by to drop off some reading material and decided to nose around a bit. She finds what’s left of Cross in the bathtub. Virgil then takes care of Monica. Jesse, who’s wondering why her mother hasn’t returned home, asks Incanto whether he’s seen her. Virgil lies that he has not. Jesse knows he’s lying because she can smell her mother’s perfume. She gets away and call the police. Virgil is gone before they arrive. 

A computer expert is trying to salvage data from Incanto’s computer but it’s somewhat time-consuming. Eventually, there’s a list of potential victims recovered, so they start calling and warning the women. Virgil ends up at Ellen’s because he has no place else to go. Ellen emails Joanne about her good fortune. Too bad she doesn’t answer her phone because Scully is calling. But Ellen starts downloading the FBI’s email warning and sees their suspect composite which, of course, looks like Incanto. He sees the file and knows she knows. Sculder arrive at Ellen’s apartment building and Joanne verifies Ellen should be home. The agents break down Ellen’s door and find her alive but suffering from chemical burns because of Virgil’s fat-sucking attempt. Mulder chases after Incanto, but it turns out Virgil was hiding in the bathroom. He attacks Dana but Ellen shoots him with Scully’s gun. 

One week later, Incanto is in desperate need of some Aveeno skin treatments. He also admits to several other killings. I hope, for Ellen’s sake, that Virgil is her transitional person. Hopefully, the next man she dates will be good to her. Maybe it’ll be Leonard Trimble. We'll find out more about him next week.

Sestra Professional:

On the surface "2Shy" comes off as Donnie Pfaster lite, to reference perhaps the most malevolent series killer we have or will see in the entire series run from Season 2's "Irresistible." But then you think about the time period this episode originally aired in and how getting friendly with people in chat rooms was so easy to do yet so potentially hazardous.

But there's so much awkwardness in Vlaming's first script for the series that it dilutes the overall impact. (He gets much smoother by the time he takes up the pen for Hannibal.) The detective's blatant sexism still might have been an issue back in the day, but Scully's been on the job for quite some time. And if Cross is calling the X-Files team in on the case, he probably should realize that she's seen a lot of these kind of scenarios. 

You can't hide behind your computer forever: I would have liked to have seen Virgil Incanto acting a little less suspiciously than he does in the first half of the episode. We've learned serial killers can be more charming than everyone around them, that's what makes them all the more dangerous. Everyone's antenna should have been raised around him, not just one little blind girl's. Then again, I don't mind factoring in that this guy isn't your textbook offender, he's a genetically mutated creature working from biological instinct.

"2Shy" also plays out much like "Irresistible" in that Sculder cracks the case fairly quickly. Mulder makes some shrewd moves with his online warnings, which continue to be an integral part of the plot after the initial use. And Scully's definitely on top of it from the science aspect, determining that the secretion accelerated the disintegration of the bodies. Aided by Fox's conjecture about removal of fatty tissue like a scorpion, our heroes are on top of their game. It's just a matter of time before Sculder are finally able to actually close a case.

It's kind of a bummer that Cross gets taken out without much of a fight, and with all the dots connected, we move into more traditional procedural territory. How many more victims will Incanto claim before the agents catch up to him? As previously mentioned by Sestra Am, gotta at least take out the guy who didn't show Scully respect (although he seemed to be coming around in their last meeting). The woman who ignored the FBI warning at least has to be tortured, as well as the all-too-desperate and nosy landlord.

So that leaves the blind teenager. Commence eye roll. Jesse's a sweet girl sure, and it's helpful that she can smell her mother's perfume to know that she's in danger. At least that portion of the program is almost fast-forwarded through. We don't have to suffer through the indignity of her in a perilous situation.

The final sequence with Ellen plays out much better. The beleaguered woman spying the sketch of the man waiting outside her bedroom door is downright chilling. Scully gets her licks in, and although it's a little on the nose that Ellen grabs Dana's gun and shoots Donnie ... I mean Virgil ... it's a nice way to wrap that up.

Nothing else metas: Sestra Am isn't far off the mark when she deems the substance "ectoplasmic residue." The Ultra-slime used in Ghostbusters was mixed with food products so that it would be "essentially edible," according to The X-Files Season 3 official guide. ... Crew members nicknamed "2Shy" the "lick me-kill me" episode, the guide says. ... Ep director David Nutter detailed in The Complete X-Files why the stand-alones could be particularly scary: "The bad guys or the creatures in the show, the reasons they did things were not because they were just there to do evil, but to survive."

Guest star of the week: Timothy Carhart is not as outright wicked as Nick Chinlund's Donnie Pfaster, but he is seriously scary. The final scene alone is worth the price of admission -- "My weakness was no greater than theirs. I gave them what they wanted, they gave me what I needed." Many of us -- particularly in The X-Files fan base -- developed strong friendships over the Net, it was sobering to realize people might not have been who they represented themselves to be on the World Wide Web.