X-Files S1E14: There's something about Marty

Editors' Note: On the rewatch of The X-Files, Lorrie plays the part of Sestra Amateur and Paige serves as the resident "expert," aka Sestra Professional.
 
Sestra Amateur: 

A not-so-pretty girl meets a pretty guy in a club and they have sex. Pretty guy dies immediately afterward. Then she becomes a he. No, this isn’t a cautionary tale about the dangers of picking up strangers then learning you were tricked; she biologically turned into a man. Probably still a bad idea to take home strangers, but this twist makes it an X-Files episode, not one from Law and Order. 

Sculder learn the victim died from a blown artery. That’s a very impressive and efficient medical examiner who can determine cause of death without an autopsy, while still at the crime scene and without moving the body. Video surveillance shows the female suspect entering but not leaving. Of course, the male suspect is seen leaving but never entering. Mulder has seen this before. He already knows about five other deaths where the victims died after sex. The victims had high amounts of pheromones in their systems, which likely caused the heart attacks.

Sculder’s investigation leads them to an Amish-looking clan called The Kindred. While Mulder tries to talk to the female members, Scully bonds with one named Andrew. When they shake hands, Scully gets affected by the pheromones. Good thing Scully didn’t jump Andrew right there. 

The Kindred lead simpler lives – how do they get their whites so white? They allow Sculder to join them for dinner as long as the agents relinquish their guns. Hope Mulder has a secret backup gun in an ankle holster. Scully, the medical doctor, is concerned because one member is clearly ill, but the Kindred dismiss her assistance because they take care of their own. 

After dinner, Mulder tells Scully he thinks he saw pictures of some of the members while they were in town, but the pics were from the '30s. They double back to see what they can find. Andrew finds Scully and takes her to his bedroom. He tells Scully his best friend Marty is the killer. Wow, that was easy. 

Meanwhile, Mulder secretly watches a ritual where the sick man from dinner is slathered with something that looks like a combination of apple sauce and petroleum jelly. The sick man then starts transforming into a woman. 

Andrew locks Scully in his bedroom and strokes her hand and face. Scully can’t resist him. Luckily, Mulder breaks down the door to rescue our heroine from the clutches of not evil but still creepy Andrew. Scully looks stoned and starts vomiting. I’m not sure if it’s from the pheromone exposure or the thought of kissing Andrew.

Meanwhile, She-Marty is in the club and back to her old tricks. She picks up Nicholas Lea and has sex with him in a car. Lucky for him they get interrupted by a police officer. She-Marty becomes regular Marty, hits the cop and runs away. The victim lives to tell the tale to Sculder. Maybe he’s Krycek deep undercover. He’ll probably be Sestra Pro’s guest star of the week. See you next season, Nick. 

Sculder track Marty through a stolen credit card -- this may be the easiest case they ever solve -- but Marty overpowers both of them. The Kindred arrive and subdue Marty because -- as they said -- they take care of their own. Andrew knocks out Scully and The Kindred disappear with Marty. This is definitely one of those cases that Scully should keep off her resume. Can you imagine Scully trying to explain herself to her boss? Sculder return to the farm, but everyone is gone. Maybe next time, Mulder.  

Sestra Professional:

Kind of rough to have "Genderbender" immediately after a seminal series episode like "Beyond the Sea" that was perfect in every possible way. The only saving grace this one affords is that first look at Nicholas Lea, who will become such an integral part of the show with Alex Krycek's introduction in Season 2. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, she was a kind 3: This one really is a dog, in spirit and in female form. The Kindred may be famous for their abstinence, but I'd like to be famous for my abstinence from this episode. Let's just say it's not one that gets rewatched a lot. But I'll abide by undercover Krycek's rating system if only for the fact that his presence can get that number up to the kind 3.

More numbers! 10:13. The security camera records the ultimate crossdresser going in the room at 10:13? We get a lot of liberal uses of this number throughout the series run, for creator/executive producer Chris Carter was born on Oct. 13. And ... whoa, hold the phone, the initial victim just blinked. Mulder scrapes residue off his mouth, nothing. Just sitting there with his eyes closed, movement. Your guy isn't dead, Sculder. He might just need medical attention.

Mulder's voice seems a little higher in this episode. Could he be one of those changelings that's going to turn from a hot guy into a dowdy girl? At any rate, it's a good thing that these people are throwing off pheromones, cause they wouldn't be getting much nookie otherwise.

Your world does not interest us: So pontificates the head of the table during the awkward dinner with The Kindred. Well, same to you, pal. The blatant attempt at riffing on the Amish while trying to capture the magic of Witness falls way, way short of the mark. Not going to sugarcoat, it's not even mildly compelling.

This one's written by Larry and Paul Barber, who never pen another X-Files script but do have Calendar Girl, Cop, Killer? The Bambi Bembenek Story on their resume. That name itself is worth the writing fee. Gotta be a lot better than watching Sculder get lost in the woods and then somehow find themselves surrounded in an area that seemed empty a minute earlier. Or watching the agents watch the unorthodox ceremonies The Kindred are conducting in their barn. On second thought, maybe they're orthodox.

The Addams Family finds religion: The Kindred profess they don't need help when one of their elders starts choking. Then again, medical doctor Scully couldn't tell that the first victim she saw was still breathing, maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge them for not wanting her assistance.

Good thing Scully's boyfriend tells her who the killer is, how he does it and why he's drawn to the outside world or this one never would have been resolved. Marty, of course, the perfect name for someone who's a girl and then a guy and then a girl again.

I'm still not sure how these people do what they do. But then again, I don't really care, so it doesn't matter. Except for the fact that this episode constantly weakens Dana Scully in body and spirit, whereas the previous one made her a force to be reckoned with. And ultimate copout with the crop circle at the end, ugh.

GUEST STAR OF THE WEEK: At least we still have Nick. Easy call, eh, Sestra Am? I will say this, though. It's incredible that the powers-that-be in the show's casting department saw Alex Krycek in Nick. Even with the uneasy confession in the hospital, his victim is a rather bland throwaway character. And as we'll see later, Krycek winds up being anything but that.