Sestra Amateur:
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and that’s pretty accurate in this week’s episode. The opening shot focuses on an unshaven man wearing a wrinkled shirt, sitting in front of an electric typewriter in a room free of distractions. He’s got his Marlboro Reds and what is probably a glass of whiskey. (I seriously doubt it’s tea.) We learn he’s experiencing some form of writer’s block so he goes into the bathroom and rips his heart out of his chest.
That doesn’t seem like an acceptable way to cure writer’s block, but let’s suspend some disbelief. He later gets to experience an elevator ride with Scully. Turns out the “heartless” writer Phillip Padgett, played by Deadwood’s John Hawkes, is Mulder’s neighbor. He has a habit of listening to Sculder’s conversations through the wall. This week, our intrepid heroes are investigating a serial killer who is committing “psychic surgery” -- Fox's words, not mine -- and yes, hearts have been removed.
Later, boring couple Kevin and Maggie have a tiff in his car. She leaves and he goes after her, but gets chased down by the killer who tears out his heart. (By the way, the casting director really dropped the ball on this one. Kevin is supposed to be a 16-year-old kid but the 29-year-old actor looks like he could have a wife, two kids, an ulcer and a mortgage.)
Mulder is out at the scene, but back at the office, Scully finds a “milagro” (miracle charm) slipped under the office door. Phillip’s voiceover – allegedly necessary because of his work in progress – certainly sounds like a written narrative. Fox thinks the lucky charm – which is of a burning heart – was intended for Dana, not for him.
Scully goes to church, where Padgett tells her the story of Saint Margaret Mary and the Sacred Heart. Dana accuses Phillip of following her, which is funny because he got there first. He’s very articulate, and in a different situation, it may even be endearing. Scully just looks disgusted, but still doesn’t believe he’s involved in her current case. Mulder uses his FBI training and resources to identify his neighbor … OK, he looks for a name on the mailbox and steals Phillip’s mail.
Of course, Padgett’s interest in Scully makes for an awkward elevator ride with Mulder. On the upside, it looks like Phillip's writer’s block has been cured, as possibly is Dana's dry spell. Nope, it’s just Padgett's vivid imagination brought forth by the episode’s director. Dana really does stop by Phillip’s apartment and has a cup of coffee with him. Too bad he keeps talking and reveals he’s been stalking Scully since before he got the apartment. She’s still intrigued, though, and chooses to sit in the dark with Padgett. Mulder enters the apartment, guns a-blazing, and arrests Phillip after realizing Padgett chose his victims through the newspaper of personal ads available by their mailboxes.
Fox interrogates Phillip without an attorney present and admits to reading Padgett’s work in progress. He wants Phillip’s “psychic surgeon” Ken Naciamento located, but Dana has already identified him as a Brazilian doctor who died two years earlier. In his cell, Padgett continues writing his novel and describes Maggie (yeah, she doesn’t look 16 either) being hunted by the serial killer at Kevin’s grave. The agents arrive too late and Mulder finds Maggie’s body in the cemetery’s landscaping truck.
Back at the jail, the dynamic duo releases Padgett, who is convinced Scully is in love with Fox. Inside his apartment, Padgett encounters Naciamento, the character brought to life. Sculder, watching via surveillance camera, only see Phillip sitting alone by his typewriter. Padgett and Naciamento discuss his character’s motivation. Unfortunately, he realizes Dana must die in the story. Phillip heads down to the incinerator with his book.
Mulder stops him at gunpoint while Naciamento attacks Scully in Fox's apartment. She shoots him several times, but the bullets go right through him. Padgett burns his book and Naciamento disappears. Scully is alive, but her dry-cleaning bill is going to be pretty expensive. She still fares better than Phillip who dies by the incinerator with his heart literally in his hand. No naked pretzel for you, Padgett.
Sestra Professional:
Last week's "Trevor" was as non-descript an ep as they come, one fitting the bill for any TV model specializing in the supernatural. "Milagro" is the polar opposite. This is a love story about and for Scully. Quite often, The X-Files defines itself in terms of Mulder's quest for the truth and his sister. But this episode shows that through almost six seasons and a movie, Dana not only continues to inspire legions of fans, but creator Chris Carter and his company as well.
Now "Milagro" isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Dreamy Scully sequences are interwoven with scenes of pretty gruesome violence. And I can't fathom those elements being mixed together better by anyone than Kim Manners, the director continuously counted on to drive home the emotional moments. Beyond that, the Hallmark fan base might just want Dana and Fox to say those magic words to each other, not have them spoken for them by a guy who conjures up the ripping out of hearts to wear on his proverbial sleeve.
Coming in the so-called "X-Files Lite" season, "Milagro" proves there's so much left in the tank. Frank Spotnitz and John Shiban combined on the story while Carter wrote the teleplay, giving them all a chance to get their Scully ya-yas out. It feels freeing to watch it unfold, so it must have injected new life into all of them after diluting a major portion of the mythology a few episodes back and coasting through the most recent couple of shows.
But she was beautiful -- fatally, stunningly prepossessing: It's not all hearts and flowers. The vivid imagery of hearts being ripped out of chests belies conventional romance, suffusing it with elements of pain and suffering. And that only serves to make Manners' ensuing slow-motion 360-degree freeze-frame pans around gorgeous Gillian Anderson even more intense.
As in a majority of Dana-focused episodes, we get to see our female lead irked about Mulder making plans for her. That makes her seem more human and less like a puppy dog following in her partner's footsteps. We're seeing something in Scully that was hinted at in "Never Said" (Season 4, Episode 13). There is a lot of sensuality in this woman, and when it's recognized by another -- even one on the outskirts of the society, or maybe especially in that case (and can't we include Mulder in that mix?) -- that passion can flare and burn.
The heart-and-fire motif running through our bottle episode is pointing out aspects of Dana we need to keep in mind. Should we be upset that these words are voiced by this Padgett guy and not Fox? I'm not, but I know a legion of shippers who might disagree with me. Yet there's another faction accepting it for what it is, knowing it's a race and not a sprint and expecting that someday someway, these two will be as exceptional at love as they are in their fields of expertise.
Loneliness is a choice: Another pattern in Scully-centric shows is less-than-idealistic behavior exhibited by Fox -- be it mail theft or unlawful entrance. The majority of the time, he's driven and correct in his suppositions -- your basic misunderstood genius. But in Dana-driven "Milagro," we see the cracks in his armor. This serves to refine his character as well. I need to see Mulder unsettled by Scully when they're in the same orbit -- as opposed to the different paths forged by her abduction and cancer scare -- before any major declarations are forthcoming.
I'm plenty satisfied by the big moment here, namely that Phillip -- who has been so brash and sanctimonious all episode -- admits he got something wrong ... (insert fanfare here) Agent Scully is already in love. It makes my head swim as a viewer and gets me projecting what Fox and Dana might separately think about such a proclamation. Is it something Mulder's considered before and discarded? Is it something Scully recognizes to be true in her heart of hearts?
But that gets put on the back burner for a bit with Dana in physical danger yet again. Maybe that, in turn, will drive home the points Padgett made to them. These two couldn't possibly be right for anyone else in the world. Whereas Carter once told the world he had no plans to put Mulder and Scully together romantically, "Milagro" seems to reverse that position and plot a course precisely for that. And that is accomplished without dialogue, we're not hit over the head with it. Carter and company just let us know it's there.
Guest star of the week: John Hawkes is perfect as Padgett. Sometimes he's a tortured artist, sometimes he's a heartsick man, sometimes both at the same time. Hawkes blends that perfectly on a canvas he stepped onto for one week. (He originally auditioned for the convict role in the previous episode.) I can't fathom anyone else pointing out the truth -- no, not that truth --- that viewers have known for so long and the characters only seem to be starting to get the hint of here.
Sestra Amateur:
I feel like my snarky side has taken a vacation as well, so I hope this is an episode in which I can let my snark flag fly once again. In Jasper County, Mississippi, a correctional farm facility prepares for an oncoming tornado. (“It’s a twister, Auntie Em!”)
One inmate annoys prisoner Pinker Rawls and takes a nail through his hand for it. Superintendent Raybert Fellowes sends Rawls to the box as punishment. The “box” looks like a decrepit outhouse made of wood so, of course, it doesn’t stand up to the twister. Forty minutes later, one guard goes to tell Raybert (I wonder if his parents debated his name. Should we call him Ray? Nah, we should call him Bert. How about Raybert?) Pinker and the box are gone. The superintendent’s only half there. Literally. The fellow has been cut -- torn? burned? -- in half.
This is a job for … Doctor Scully! She’s thinking industrial acid, but Mulder nips that theory in the bud. Dana fulfills Fox's dreams by suggesting spontaneous human combustion. The guard says Pinker did it, but can’t account for how he entered a locked office, or for that matter, how he did it while dying during the storm. Mulder shows the wall isn’t so thick after all, he pushes his hand right through the plaster.
Sculder are curious about Rawls' former girlfriend, June Gurwitch, played by Catherine Dent. At this time, she was only three years away from reaching some long-running job security as Danni Sofer on The Shield. June is currently engaged to Robert Werther, who is played by David Bowe, an actor with a name you won’t recognize but a face you will. Meanwhile, Pinker – played by character actor John Diehl (hey, he’ll also be on The Shield too!) – is alive and shopping for new clothes when a security guard apprehends him for burglary and theft. Rawls manages to get out of the cuffs and disappear, but the subsequent physical contact caused the cuffs to dissolve in Mulder’s hands.
Pinker goes to see his former partner in crime, Bo, trashes his home and demands June’s current address. Bo shoots Rawls eight times, but that doesn’t slow down Pinker one bit. You should’ve saved one for yourself, Bo. And where is this Trevor from the episode title? Sculder arrive, find the security guard’s car and what’s left of Bo. Let’s just say no one will be identifying Bo by his face. Fox sees seven of Bo’s bullets in the wall (What happened to the eighth one? Bo had such a tight grouping.) but they’ve also dissolved after passing through Rawls. Mulder tries to convince Scully that Pinker can move through solid objects and have solid objects move through him.
June’s sister, Jackie (Tuesday Knight from Nightmare on Elm Street 4), is visited by Rawls. Let’s see her “dream warrior” her way out of this one. Our heroes show up while Jackie has Pinker at knifepoint, but Rawls walks through the wall and leaves Jackie and her son unharmed. Pinker hides in the agents' trunk as they unintentionally drive him directly to June and Robert’s house. Robert is pissed to hear about June’s criminal past and bails on her.
Fox and Dana take June into protective custody, but Mulder realizes Rawls was in their trunk the whole time. (Lariat must have one hell of a car rental contract with the FBI. The X-files division alone seems to cause lots of damage to their fleet.) Sculder search the house for him, but only find his message “burned” into the wall. Fox realizes Pinker can’t pass through rubber or glass. However, he can pass through ceilings because Rawls gets into the hotel room, kills the cop and kidnaps June.
June thinks Pinker is mad about the 90 grand she stole, but he’s focused on the baby she gave up for adoption, the one named Trevor Andrew. (Those prison grapevines are more accurate than Johnny Dangerously let on.) Turns out Jackie adopted Trevor as her son. Mulder gets some rubber-bullet ammunition to take down Pinker. He and Scully realize who and where Trevor is and try to warn Jackie on the phone. Too bad June and Rawls show up at Jackie’s house for the family reunion and Pinker tries to bond with the wide-eyed Trevor. (“Call me Pinky.” Ewww. OK. Pinky it is.)
Jackie does her best by throwing hot soup on Pinky, but it goes through him. She does get to clock him with the pot, though. Too bad he catches her. Trevor makes a run for it and Rawls chases after him. Fox arrives and shoots Pinky several times with the rubber bullets while Dana gets Trevor to the car. Rawls catches up to them, so Scully secures Trevor and herself in a phone booth. (I know some of you might not know what one of those is. We'll wait here while you look it up.) Pinky punches a hole through the glass with a rock, but can’t bring himself to hurt Trevor. He steps into the road and June tries to run him down. The car passes through him … but the windshield doesn’t. Ewwwww ... glad I wasn’t eating lunch during this episode. At least Trevor is safe, but he and the Gurwitch sisters have some Ricki Lake drama to work out.
Sestra Professional:
With any show of longevity, there are probably episodes you skip if you're not doing a complete rewatch. This is the perfect example of one of them for me. It's just so blah. It's almost not worth picking on because that would require some effort. Almost.
Acknowledgement (or blame) for the story depicted in "Trevor" went to Jim Guttridge (the only IMDb writing credit for the television composer) and Ken Hawryliw (The X-Files' prop master for 105 episodes). So I have to think they were trying to bring some musicality and an artistic bent to this one.
I think my biggest issue is that Mulder and Scully don't get much out of it. OK, they can recognize there's some kind of supernatural aspect to the case. So it's an X-file. It's the kind of X-file I wish Jeffrey Spender has been assigned to when he still had a face. You know, the folder that he glanced at and then put in the circular file. I would have respected him for doing that with this one.
Dear diary, Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion: Having Dana pull a Fox-ian theory out of thin air reminds me of the Stephen King episode "Chinga." The show super fan penned Episode 10 in the fifth season, and concepts that seem like they might work on paper were just awkward when committed to celluloid. There's an art to the Sculder relationship and if one of the most renowned writers of our time can't capture their voices, we can posit that it's not all that easy to do. It has to be more than Scully brings the science and Mulder's willing to believe. Even reported polishing by co-executive producer Vince Gilligan and producer John Shiban didn't help. Say what you want about the less-convincing episodes penned by the regular writing team, but they know the characters inside and out. And the composition of them doesn't -- and shouldn't -- change and/or lessen.
It might make a difference if the other characters in "Trevor" weren't so woefully uninteresting. We've probably been spoiled by the likes of Brad Dourif (S1E13's "Beyond the Sea") and Tom Noonan (S4E10's "Paper Hearts"), who delivered chilling performances -- partly because due to better scripts and partly because they were able to delve into the rich characters and make them hold up better than brittle walls easily punched through.
That leaves us wondering why this dude can vanish from a box in a tornado and withstand a multitude of bullets fired at close range. To tell the truth, I didn't really care after about 15 minutes. But I wanted to give it every opportunity for this rewatch, as there's a good chance I'll never watch it again.
So should we arrest David Copperfield? --Yes we should, but not for this: So Sculder continue to swap theories from their usual side of the fences as they get closer and closer to this mystery man. They determine the oddball fugitive isn't just after the money, he's after a child -- the name of the episode not actually uttered until 34 minutes into the proceedings, Trevor. That's certainly a different tactic taken by the storytellers.
There's a long scene before the denouement with no Fox and/or Dana at all. That doesn't really help its cause. And then Mulder comes in, shotgun ablazing with the dumb-dumb bullets, thinking that's going to subdue a guy he's just spent the previous half hour investigating for the ability to withstand worse punishment. A portion of a speeding car eventually does the trick. Nevertheless, that was a beautiful shot through the broken phone booth at a tremulous Scully. Very artistic.
Guest star of the week: The Sestras recollect Diehl from his recurring role on The John Larroquette Show, among other things. And while he doesn't have a lot to work with here, Diehl made a career out of flourishing under those kinds of conditions. Playing the escaped convict must have been a lot like being third banana for three seasons on Miami Vice. At the very least, we see through to Pinky's human side.
Sestra Amateur:
After a month-long break from the rewatch, let’s see how long it takes me to get my snark on. On a freighter in the Pacific Ocean, a couple of Cantonese men are investigating a box that reminds me of "The Crate" segment from the original Creepshow movie. The idiots open the box (well, look at that, snark acquired) and later are found mauled to death inside by the animal’s owner and the police.
The owner, a cryptozoologist named Dr. Ian Detweiler, is played by Andrew Robinson, who I know best from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser, where he played a nice guy as well as a bad guy masquerading as a nice guy. Detweiler said he was notified of his animal’s arrival but considering how unlikely that is, you can already see how this episode is going to play out.
Mulder somehow ends up with the case because the mauling was caused by “a dog.” And because the dead Merchant Marines were locked inside the crate. Later, a Customs agent gets attacked by a red-eyed wolf creature, aka “a dog.” Sculder travel to San Diego to meet with Fish and Wildlife officer Jeffrey Cahn.
Detweiler is on the ship with Sculder and Cahn when they learn about the Customs agent’s attack. Mulder thinks their suspect dog is intentionally covering its tracks. Scully seems a wee bit skeptical. (Remember, just because she owned a dog doesn’t mean she’s a dog person.) The agents meet Fox’s contact Karin Berquist, who clearly is a dog person. Dana asks about the Wanshang dhole, an Asian wild dog and endangered species. Karin briefly gives background info regarding canine intelligence then bails. Meanwhile, a man transforms into a dhole (not an ahole ... a dhole) and kills again, this time taking out one of Cahn’s friends. Berquist claims it’s alpha-male behavior but Mulder disagrees. Detweiler explains how he captured the dog the first time. He confronts Cahn, who wants to kill it. The future is looking grim for Jeffrey.
Karin works with Sculder to learn more about the dhole, but Scully acts like she’s competition. Dana claims Berquist has the hots for Fox, which is why she’s “helping” them. The dhole shows up at Riley’s Animal Clinic shortly after Detweiler. Officer Cahn and his backup arrive, shoot first and ask questions later. Of course they kill the wrong dog, a big beautiful Saint Bernard. The agents arrive but can't save the recently mauled Dr. Riley. The shapeshifting creature, disguised as the Saint Bernard, hides in plain sight. Meanwhile, Dr. Scully puts two and two together. Not related to the actual case, of course. After all, we’re not in the final act yet. She realizes Karin suffers from lupus.
Mulder snoops through the animal clinic’s drawers and learns Dr. Detweiler has access to animal tranquilizers. He warns Cahn, who gets attacked by the dhole. But for once, the victim lives. Fox finds Ian in Jeffrey's hospital room and confronts him about being the dhole. Karin refuses to protect Ian any longer. Back at her house, she tells Fox he’ll have to put Detweiler down. Berquist tells Mulder that Ian will finish his kill and take out Cahn. So why didn’t she tell him that when they were all still at the hospital?!
Fox rushes back to the hospital and updates Dana, who still believes Karin is manipulating him. Scully acquiesces and waits with her partner. At 2 a.m., it’s Mulder’s turn to concede; he realizes Berquist lied to him about where the dhole is going. Karin arranges for the wild dog to enter her home and attack her. Detweiler the dhole kills Berquist but gets impaled and dies at the scene. Dana should get bonus points for not saying, “I told you so.” On the upside, Mulder finally has another “I Want to Believe” poster. Weirdest suicide note ever.
Sestra Professional:
I could have told Sestra Am it wasn't going to take long for her to get her snark on with this one. Because "Alpha" is ... a dog. And not the awesome kind of canine who lives for its owner. The derogatory one. How did that particular phraseology come to pass anyway, since dogs are so beloved in our culture?
While not becoming invested in our requisite rewatch episode of the day, I took a couple minutes to investigate this heinous vocabulary crime. In ancient Greece, the word was used to refer someone whose behavior was reprehensible. Well, I hereby declare the ancient Greeks' behavior reprehensible. And I will insert "ancient Greeks" for "dog" for those particular insults from here on out.
Now back to our regularly scheduled episode and it's strikingly similar to the universally disliked "Teso dos Bichos" (Season 3, Episode 18) -- there's a comparison no one would ever long to hear. They can't all be gems, so we were definitely due for a couple ancient Greeks (aka the ones you never watch again unless you're heavily sedated or doing the full-scale rewatch).
Yo quiero Taco Bell: So what we're left with is this Jeffrey Bell script that seems to exist largely to give Fox some puns and clunkily tap into the Sculder personal dynamic -- "Dog gone. ... Dog gone. ... Doggone," Mulder says. "Yeah, I got it," Scully replies. Dana's eye rolling in this episode mirrors my own. Fox also riffs on a then-popular Taco Bell commercial as well as tossing followup quips -- "Talk about biting the hand that feeds you" and "You get a biscuit, Scully." Even Dana gets thrown a bone: "He doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture."
As in most episodes, even the ancient Greeks, there's a kernel of a great idea in there somewhere. I get it, Detweiler's on the hunt for an animal said to be extinct for 150 years. It catches him instead of him catching it and so forth. The show just doesn't have a great record of bringing these animal ideas to life -- Lots more where "Teso dos Bichos" came from ... "Shapes" (S1E19) or "Fearful Symmetry" (S2E18), anyone? No? I didn't think so. Hmmm, have you noticed that these seem to come at around the same point each season? Or I'm just very easily distracted today.
She's not a real people person: We know there's no way Karin pries Fox away from his partner. I don't think the doctor herself expected that. Mulder does want to believe and he always does so very quickly. That's a character trait I buy, particularly as it refers to one of his apparent favorite pastimes -- squatchin' (we'll get to that during the revival) -- and it's nice to see that not pay off. Everyone isn't always fighting the good fight, some have ulterior motives and Fox occasionally should be knocked down a peg or two to remind him of that and keep him honest.
The guest characters don't add a lot to the canvas. As Detwiler, Robinson (not nearly as strong as he was in Dirty Harry) contributes an intense stare that's just frightening. As in scary like one of those people talking to themselves who you try to avoid on the street. I'd bark at him too if he skulked around like that all the time. Melinda Culea -- ostensibly directed to be completely oft-putting in her first scene -- can't recover from that, even with a lupus diagnosis. So what we're left with is a sad 40-minute horror movie in which many people, most of whom don't seem to actually deserve it, get mauled by a vengeful person in a supernatural dog suit.
Obey your meta master: According to the official season episode guide, Bell had an index card hanging in his office all season -- "Scary Dogs in the City" -- after seeing a pack of dogs by a freeway in Los Angeles and wondering how they survived. ... Executive producer Frank Spotnitz contributed the Fox-Karin online relationship, the guide said. ... A spot of nepotism got the show out of casting trouble when veteran actress Culea was cast. Her husband, Peter Markle, directed "Alpha." ... Auditioning the dozens of trainers for the dogs, wolves and wolf hybrids proved to be quite the challenge, executive producer Michael Watkins admitted in the episode guide. Professional breeder Clint Rowe (familiar to both show runner Chris Carter and Spotnitz) was hired along with his three wolf-Malamute hybrids Flame, Eli and Ki-che.
Guest star of the week: If I'm pressed to fetch one, I'd have to give Culea the biscuit. A veteran of such '80s fare as The A-Team, St. Elsewhere and Knots Landing, she does get to run the gamut in front of her hubby's lens within a complete story arc, awkward though it may be.
Sestra Amateur:
Anyone who has ever owned a house with a Homeowners Association will be able to relate to this episode. There are some condo commandos who take those HOA rules and regulations and enforce them in an overzealous manner that often feels like paper terrorism. Unfortunately for the residents of The Falls at Arcadia, they’re being terrorized in a different way.
Dave Kline and wife Nancy live in a beautiful house inside The Falls. Their neighbors are smiley and helpful, maybe a little too helpful. Dave doesn’t like his overly strict HOA and retaliates by putting up a tacky lawn ornament he anonymously received in the mail. This results in some type of mud beast not only attacking Dave but leaving huge, messy footprints all over his clean, white carpet. Nancy’s going to need to call Stanley Steemer for this job.
Seven months later, Sculder arrive undercover as Rob and Laura Petrie (there’s a generation of viewers who won’t get that in-joke) to investigate the disappearance of the Klines. (Lucky Nancy didn’t have to do the cleanup after all.) Preppy Rob and matronly Laura receive unpacking assistance from their entire neighborhood because, apparently, they’re in danger of violating the unpacking curfew.
The Petries' “possessions” are mostly crime-scene processing equipment that reveals some blood missed by the cleanup crew. Fox is the doubter here, he doesn’t think their disappearance is an X-file. Neighbor Big Mike Raskin, played by the always recognizable Abraham Benrubi, who I know best as Kubiac from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, appears helpful but bolts when Dana asks him about the Klines. The neighbors talk about “The Petries” at dinnertime. Big Mike wants to provide full disclosure and gets approval to do so from HOA president Gene Gogolak. But that's just a ruse and Gene lets resident Win Schroeder know that Big Mike -- the “weak link” -- will be taken care of. (By the way, it took about 10 minutes of me repeating the name Gogolak before I remembered where I heard it before: It’s the last name of Kevin Pollack’s characters in The Whole Nine Yards and The Whole Ten Yards. And now I want to go watch The Whole Nine Yards.) The mud creature takes out Big Mike in a bloody, sure-to-be-an-HOA-violation mess on his front stoop.
The next morning Wil is hosing down Big Mike’s porch when “Honeybunch” and “Poopiehead” start asking questions. Wil invites them over for dinner that night. Sculder learn from Gene that Rob’s basketball hoop is a no-no in the community. That CC&R rule book is pretty detailed. After dinner, Scully and Wil’s wife, Cami, walk the Schroeder’s teeny tiny dog, who decides to go looking for Pennywise in the storm gutter. This allows Dana to find Big Mike’s caduceus necklace and wipe blood off the pocket-sized pup’s face. Luckily, the sewer creature lets them walk away.
After dinner, Scully and Mulder discuss the neighborhood rules and Fox's effortless ability to annoy Dana with his bathroom habits. The next morning Mulder tests his theory by planting a plastic flamingo on the front lawn. It’s not there for long. Next, he sabotages his mailbox and waits. And waits. Three hours later, instead of peeing in his juice carton, Fox takes a bathroom break and returns to a straightened and cleaned mailbox. (I wonder what the monthly dues are for this level of HOA efficiency.) There’s also a threatening note in the mailbox that Mulder doesn’t even consider processing for evidence. When Fox is playing basketball in his driveway later that night, the Schroeders panic and confront him. The creature attacks Cami but doesn’t kill her. Someone – not Mulder – drags his basketball net inside the garage. That was nice of him … her … it.
Scully returns to Arcadia and almost clocks Mulder with a fireplace poker. This would have been a good time for Fox to joke about Dana’s previous attempt to kill him in "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" (Season 6, Episode 6). Wil meets with Gene, who calls Rob a rabble-rouser. Scully shows Mulder the evidence she had processed. Turns out, it wasn’t blood found inside the home, it was ketchup and brake fluid (because brake fluid tastes good on everything). She also didn’t wipe blood off the dog’s snout either, it was a combination of other garbage.
Fox decides to install a reflecting pool in the front yard, but he’s actually excavating to see if they can find the Klines’ bodies. Gene isn’t happy about it, but lets the Petries continue. Mulder unearths the Klines’ tacky lawn ornament which Fox determines was sent by Gogolak. (Apparently, it’s called a whirligig. The more you know.) Of course Sculder don’t see the muddy hand reaching out of the pit. It’s coming for Dana, but Big Mike shows up to save her from ... The Ubermenscher!
Now let’s pause for a moment and learn a little about The Ubermenscher. My favorite translation of the German word Ubermensch has always been Superman, because I’m a DC girl. Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed Ubermensch is the goal we set for ourselves to be better people. That would explain some of those insane HOA rules. And now, back to our regularly scheduled Ubermenscher attack.
Big Mike says the creature wants Laura because Rob broke too many rules. After finding Scully's gun, Big Mike -- What was he doing in her underwear drawer? Should we really be rooting for Big Mike?! -- shoots at the Ubermenscher. Meanwhile, Mulder confronts Gogolak and reveals how Gene summoned the creature with a tulpa (a mystical totem). Fox bring Gene to the Petries’ house, where the creature went inside and made quite a mess. Luckily, Dana was still safe inside the closet. Win and Cami do nothing while Ubermenscher kills sitting duck Gene. The creature dissolves back into the ground before Scully can see it.
The next morning neighbors blame Gene for the disappearances. Now they’ll have to elect a new HOA president. They can even use Arcadia’s song "Election Day." (The generation that didn’t get the Petrie reference might get this one.) Of course, the real question is: Why would residents choose to live like this? I’ve seen some bad, strict, corrupt HOAs in my life, but only these characters would have the patience to put up with it. And that is more unbelievable than the existence of the Ubermenscher.
Sestra Professional:
My regard for "Arcadia" has dropped off like a tiny dog into a sewer drain since the original series run. At the time, friends and I pored over the dialogue and the nuances of Dana and Fox's foray into domesticity for months afterward. But now it feels very bland to me, with a premise that neither makes the most of its comedic and/or intimate opportunities for Mulder and Scully nor conjures up a compelling villain. The far-better "Our Town" (S2E24) did this kind of thing much better in terms of creepiness, back story and even Sculder's rapport. Arguments could be made that this episode is the epitome of the unflattering X-Files Lite designation.
Is this place us or what? This seems more like the kind of gig Mulder and Scully would have been saddled with when they were on the FBI's sh*t list and under the direction of Assistant Director Kersh. But at least we get to see Fox in a pink polo shirt and Dana react to the dropping of a box labeled "china." Yawn. By the way, that kind of expensive FBI equipment probably should have been packaged better than loose in a big cardboard box. Skinner recommended this assignment for them? He knows them better than they know themselves.
So, Rob and Laura Petrie, hmm. That might have been a bit of a stretch for a big portion of the original-run audience to recognize, but would definitely require Googling to realize it's a reference from The Dick Van Dyke Show today. And another wave will have to YouTube Sestra Am's reference to Duran Duran side project Arcadia's big hit "Election Day." In the meantime, I'll finish chuckling from Mulder quipping, "Woman, git back in here and make me a sandwich." That might be the high point in terms of humor this one has to offer.
But every community has its dark underbelly, don't ya think? Scientist Scully apparently can't tell blood from ketchup and brake fluid. Well, I can't really blame her because the attack residue we see looks more like blood than Heinz and Castrol. But Dana should try a little harder than using "Poopiehead" as a pet name, because if that doesn't raise eyebrows with the new neighbors, really, what will? Oh, Fox saying she's into UFOs and crystals might do it instead.
Sestra Am is right, though, who in their right mind -- or even their wrong mind -- would put up with this for any extended amount of time, let alone consider such home life to be the American dream? It's one thing to help people move in. It's another to be trying to please some lethal entity by washing Hunt's and Lucas Oil off porches at all hours.
The thrill is gone: By all rights, this should be more of a disappointing episode for Shippers. There was more sensuality in watching Morris Fletcher (as Mulder) and Scully sitting on a waterbed looking at an overhead mirror in "Dreamland II" (S6E5) than in the whole of a scenario that puts them together behind closed doors. All we get is Fox reacting to Dana entering the room with a face mask and the least romantic suggestion that they should share a bed ever. There was more sexual tension on Oz. Probably should have called Walter for some tips.
The fun -- or the possible fun Sculder could have had, and us in turn -- disappears altogether when the focus goes to the monster. That's even more ho-hum. Now Scully's perusing reports and Mulder's pulling back rows of topsoil. They also weren't able to, at first glance, determine the substance that looks like blood actually was Mercurochrome, coffee grounds, eggshells and motor oil. So by definition, yes, this episode is trash.
But I will give episode scripter Daniel Arkin credit for the reappearance of Big Mike. Usually when a guest actor vanishes in the early going, he/she/it is gone for good. Didn't last very long, but it's the thought that counts. By the way, Arkin went on to write and produce for the likes of Alias, Kyle XY and Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but other than the story for the sharp "Redrum" (S8E6), this show was his only credited contribution to The X-Files.
And how about the oversimplified conclusion to the proceedings? The Homeowners Association president dies, the monster disintegrates. Well, lucky for Rob, cause he was about to be torn asunder from his beloved (although he still doesn't know it yet) Laura. All of this would have meant more if we got some inkling of the fact that two people we've watched battle external and internal demons for the better part of six seasons had a realization or a moment that could be built on ... just anything of substance.
So even as someone who leans more toward being a no-romo, I don't look back at this one as fondly as I once did. But it's still preferred to the two dogs we have coming up next. (Only one is literally a dog, but they both fit that category.)
Guest star of the week: There's something to be said for the sense Gene Gogolak made in wondering how Mulder was going to present his evidence about a tulpa committing the murders in a courtroom. Peter White did a fine job with that scene. We don't side with the guy, but we do understand his overly simplified viewpoint.
Sestra Amateur:
“Monday, Monday, bah-daaaa bah-da-da-da” by The Mamas and the Papas. What a beautiful song. It keeps popping into my head because of this episode, more so than Jimmy Buffett’s "Come Monday." I’m also partial to New Order’s "Blue Monday," but they don’t even use the title in the song lyrics.
Mondays are difficult for most people, especially those who work a typical Monday through Friday schedule. But this particular one has been even more so for a woman named Pam, played by gone-too-soon Carrie Hamilton, daughter of Carol Burnett. Pam's a stranger to us since she’s never been mentioned in any other X-Files episodes. But she’s going to get to know our intrepid heroes and Assistant Director Skinner clearly more than she wants to.
So Sculder are at the bank where Fox is depositing his paycheck. A completely mundane activity, one that is almost obsolete in this day and age. But something goes wrong, very wrong. Mulder’s been shot by a bomb-wearing bank robber. The SWAT team makes its entry and the crook sets off the bomb, killing our heroes and everyone else in the bank. So how did things go sideways?
Let’s go back to the beginning of the day. Mulder’s waterbed has sprung a leak. Can you believe he still has that thing? He even kept the mirrored poster bed frame from "Dreamland" (Season 6, Episode 5). The water shorted out his alarm clock and cell phone and leaked into his neighbor’s apartment. (This is the exact reason renters aren’t allowed to have waterbeds. Good luck dealing with that aftermath, Fox.) I’m sure he’s wondering, “How much worse can this day get?” Much, much worse, Mulder. He misses the morning meeting at FBI HQ. Luckily, Scully is there to run interference.
Pam and her boyfriend, Bernard, arrive at the bank. There’s something very off about this couple. Bernard is nervous, Pam is … resigned. She’s repeating dialogue to herself that a normal person would not/should not know. Bernard -- played by Darren Burrows who I just loved in Cry-Baby but everyone else probably knows from Northern Exposure -- goes into the bank just before Fox, who needs to deposit his check immediately to cover the water damage costs. He stares at Pam, which startles her, because he’s never done that before. Bernie can’t get his robbery note just right so he whips out a gun and starts robbing the tellers. Mulder, who hasn’t revealed he’s packing, sees Scully heading their way so he tries -- but fails -- to convince Bernard to lock the front door. Dana enters and Fox uses the distraction to pull his gun, but Bernie shoots Mulder. Scully’s about to do the same to Bernard, but sees he’s wearing a bomb vest. Skinner gets the call and heads to the scene. Pam tries to talk them out of storming the bank, knowing it will lead to everyone’s deaths. SWAT charges in anyway and, well, you know how that played out.
Still not sure what happened? That’s OK, the episode resets with a soggy Mulder having a slightly varied version of his morning from hell. Too bad he doesn’t get the phone call from Pam, who tries to change the outcome by not going with Bernard, but that doesn’t work. Sculder also try to change fate when Dana goes to the bank so Fox can attend that never-ending meeting. But Mulder screwed up and gave Scully the check stub instead of the check. When he gets to the bank, Pammy tries to keep him from entering, but Bernie’s gunshot gets his attention. He sees the standoff between Bernard and Scully (Scullard?) and tries to talk some sense into him while Dana checks on the female gunshot victim. This time, Bernie activates the bomb before SWAT even arrives. So Pam’s intervention causes the deaths to occur sooner. That’s not a good sign.
Fox is retaining bits from the previous Mondays. He knew the landlord was calling about water damage and he’s maneuvering around the soaked bedroom a little better than before. Dana isn’t as good with the retention. Pam tracks her down at the FBI office to warn her not to go to the bank, but Scully’s just confused. She finds Mulder in his office where they discuss déjà vu and the ability to change fate or right and wrong. When Fox says he’s heading to the bank, Dana tells him about Pam’s weird prediction. Mulder decides to use the ATM instead. Nice plan, but it’s out of service. He sees an upset Pammy, who explains the day is repeating and she does not know why. She does however blame Sculder for the deaths, not her bomb-wearing, bank-robbing boyfriend. Fox believes enough to return to the office. Too bad Scully went to the bank looking for him. So Bernard starts robbing the bank, Mulder enters and Dana shoots Bernard, who blows them up. This time, Fox tries to remind himself to remember the bomb.
During the next reset, Mulder approaches Pam, but he still doesn’t really remember her. Inside the bank he notices Bernard and remembers “he’s got a bomb.” Fox calls Dana out of the boring meeting to retrieve Pam while he talks some sense into Bernard (Mulnard? Berder?) before Bernie even starts the robbery. Well, not so much as talk as give him a second gun to rob the place! Scully and Pam (Scum?) enter the bank and Pammy tries to convince Bernard they’re reliving the same day over and over. They get through to Bernard until he hears the sirens. Bernie shoots at Mulder, but Pam takes the bullet and dies. At least she’s no longer in hell. Bernard, who claimed he was doing this for Pam, surrenders without setting off the bomb.
Tuesday finally arrives and brings with it paperwork for our intrepid heroes. No good deed goes unpunished. I wonder whether there’s some backstory fanfic explaining how Bernard and Pam got to that "Manic Monday" point in the first place. It must have been a really bad Sunday (that should have been their fun day, their I-don’t-have-to-run day)…
Sestra Professional:
What a tragic story for Pam. Mondays will just keep repeating unless she dies. For the rest of us, it's a perfect bottle episode, showing that The Twilight Zone -- and, of course, Groundhog Day -- can be spun into The X-Files as easily as War of the Worlds and/or The Night Stalker.
At the center of it all is a bravura performance by Carrie Hamilton. When we talk about the best guest stars on the series, we often bring up those playing the flashy sociopaths -- Brad Dourif in "Beyond the Sea" (S1E13), Tom Noonan in "Paper Hearts" (S4E10), Robert Wisden in "Pusher" (S3E17), Nick Chinlund (S2E13) and the like. Occasionally, there have been splashy roles for Peter Boyle in "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" (S3E4) or Charles Nelson Reilly in "Jose Chung's From Outer Space" (S3E20) that garnered a lot of attention. Hamilton didn't even get an Emmy nomination for her work here, but she delivers such a remarkable depiction that we don't mind Mulder and Scully stepping aside to some degree.
In that respect, "Monday" is a lot like "Mind's Eye" (S5E16) in which blind Marty Glenn (Lili Taylor) was at the center of the action. But "Mind's Eye" isn't as much of a fan favorite as this one. What's the difference? Both were keenly directed by Kim Manners, who propels the action forward with some outside-of-the-box movements and crafty editing. "Mind's Eye" was written by Tim Minear, who only crafted two episodes during the show's run before going on to greener pastures with Angel and American Horror Story, while "Monday" was penned by two of the show's superstars, Vince Gilligan and John Shiban.
Gilligan and Shiban's script finds a way to do what Minear's really didn't, it advances the story of Mulder and Scully even while they're roaming about in someone else's crisis. Obviously it's theirs too since they both die if a way out isn't found, but our protagonists can only aid in the resolution as opposed to coming to it themselves. So there's time built into the script to talk about the nature of déjà vu. Having our leads not speak the same words while covering similar terrain adds to the mystique of the subject matter. As Mulder points out, there are too many variables that can change the course of our lives. Everything is not slotted to repeat exactly as it had the time before and so what seems preordained comes with slight alterations.
Did you ever have a day you just wanted to start all over again? And that also leaves room for comedic moments in an episode it, by all rights, should be much more difficult to do so in. Watching Fox battle his waterbed, deal with angry neighbors and trip over his own shoes certainly has its charms. It's very deftly worked into a show that started with Dana holding Mulder's bloody body. That point can't be driven home too many times.
Fox's not so good at managing the money, is he? His check's going to bounce if he doesn't deposit his paycheck. I wonder what dubious occupations have eaten up all his money, it kind of boggles the mind to mull over the possibilities. But that's nothing compared to Pam's hell. She's lived the day hundreds of times (possibly even more than Bill Murray in Groundhog Day if she's tried absolutely everyone else). That's the only real flaw in an otherwise almost-perfect script, like Sestra Am said, it's the boyfriend who's the reason people die and not the two agents trying to prevent that fate. For example, it's difficult to believe drugging him or having him arrested wouldn't prevent it from happening.
I'm having the best damn day of my life: Perhaps you've considered a "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" scenario dictating the outcome of "Monday." Even though writer Darin Morgan has since said that the title character telling Dana she doesn't die was just a throwaway line in the script, fans quickly glommed onto it and bring up that fact every time Scully's life is in danger. I've always thought it was something Bruckman kind of said to Dana to get into her good graces, but if we utilize that theory here, the episode can't end with Scully dying because Scully doesn't ever die. That's a potential reason why the world might have been stuck in a time loop, at least until the outcome didn't wrap up that way.
By the way, it's certainly good to see Skinner's glistening pate again, even though he doesn't have a lot to do here outside traditional FBI business. A budgetary meeting must be exponentially more dreary if you've already lived through it a hundred times or so.
Meta Mondays: In The Complete X-Files, Gilligan called "Monday" the biggest rush job for a single episode that he had ever been involved in. It was delivered in six days. ... In the official episode guide, Shiban said the premise owed more to The Twilight Zone ep "Shadow Play" (Season 2, Episode 26) than Groundhog Day. ... It must have been déjà vu all over for Manners when he helmed the Supernatural episode "Mystery Spot" (Season 3, Episode 11), which followed a similar premise. In The Complete X-Files, the director said he approached "Monday" as though it was four different episodes and ignored the fact it was the same story. ... And if you're keeping up with Gilligan's references to girlfriend Holly Rice, there are two here -- she grew up in Cradock, Virginia, and her mother's maiden name is Bernard.
Guest star of the week: As mentioned earlier, Hamilton dazzles as the ill-fated Pam. Her horror at reliving the tragedy every single day of her life is palpable and heightened through the resets. Her character's beaten down by having to go through with it over and over again. And Hamilton gives it everything she has. It's far sadder than Pam's fate that we didn't have the opportunity to see a lot more of what she had to offer.
Sestra Amateur:
Every once in a while the timing works out and the episode we’re reviewing mirrors real life. This week’s show is about a hurricane threatening the coast of Florida. Of course, this is The X-Files’ version of the Sunshine State, so you’ll be lucky to see a blue sky and an aquamarine ocean. And it’s also one of those February hurricanes for which the Southeast is so famous. Funny how those two factoids make the episode less believable than the actual monster-of-the-week.
The production crew saved some money by placing the storyline on the Gulf of Mexico side of Florida in a teeny, tiny town in Collier County named Goodland. (Population 267 in 2010 according to city-data.com. Another not-so-fun fact: The residential value in 2016 was $456,816 but 18.8 percent of the population lived in poverty.) A mother and son board up their doors as Hurricane Leroy is approaching. For some reason, even though it’s pouring, Mom insists they need water. She’s aiming for a storm drain that’s bubbling over. Unfortunately, a gelatinous tentacle grabs them both. Looks more like Octopus Mala.
Darrin McGavin is back as Arthur Dales (He was last seen in "Travelers" (Season 5 Episode 15). He’s living in a Goodland trailer park (that government pension clearly keeping him in the poverty line group). Dales leaves Mulder a taunting office message to investigate this X-file before Leroy makes landfall.
Sculder arrive and learn what happened at the Shipley’s residence. First, husband Jack was grabbed in the bathroom. Then, shortly after Sara called Arthur, she disappeared. Scully, ever the skeptic, thinks Dales' obvious drinking problem is a factor. He’s annoyed that Mulder brought a doubter with him.
The agents go to the Shipley’s home, where Fox finds slime on the drainpipe. He liberates Reggie the family cat from inside the washing machine. Turns out the door Sara was boarding up didn’t lead outside, it led to the bathroom.
Sculder’s “burglary” is interrupted by Deputy Greer, played by Joel McKinnon Miller who plays Scully on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. (And now you know the origin of his 99 character name.) Fox easily disarms him and Dana shows their credentials. Greer sheepishly agrees to help. Mulder tells Scully the Shipleys left the water running when they boarded up the bathroom door. (Maybe that’s how Guillermo del Toro came up with his bathroom sex scene idea between the human female and the amphibious male in The Shape of Water.) I wonder how much their water bill was next month. You know the water department had to be livid to find out no one was alive to pay it. The deputy sees flooding in the drain so he reaches right in there … and pulls out one of the Shipley’s shirts.
Sculder waited just a little too long to leave Goodland and now they’re stuck in town trying to find shelter. Greer has moved on to a welfare check in a condo complex. (He may as well have said “I’ll be right back” to the dispatcher.) For some reason, Reggie the cat has hitched a ride. The deputy finds a gelatinous residue sitting on the toilet and gets just a little too close during his inspection. A tentacle reaches out and starts choking him.
Our heroes end up at the same condo complex. ("Car 54, where are you?" Oh, there you are.) They find Greer struggling to breathe, so Dana performs an emergency tracheotomy and calls for help on the deputy's radio. Fox interrupts a looter and finds a very pregnant, very angry woman and her wussy baby daddy. Mulder also tries but fails to rescue a dangerously paranoid resident. I feel like we have the makings of the world’s lamest superhero team here.
Scully tries to help Greer by pulling the opaque worms out of his neck. The Looter steals Dead Resident’s slimed-up watch. Paranoid Man starts shooting at the ceiling while The Looter takes the deputy's wedding ring. Preggo Woman desperately needs the bathroom so Dana finds her a bucket. (Talk about above and beyond the call of duty.) While Fox comes up with his own origin story for the creature, Preggo Woman claims it’s in the tub. Greer is gone but his clothes (and a box of Epsom salt) are all that’s left.
They plan to leave but The Looter stole the deputy's car and Mulder gets attacked by a tentacle. Paranoid Man “saves” Scully by locking her inside the apartment with them. The Wussy doubts her ability as a medical doctor, but Preggo Woman goes into labor so Dr. Dana emerges to save the day while Fox struggles to breathe outside. Too bad he can’t give himself a tracheotomy. Luckily, Reggie is there to help him(?) Preggo Woman squeezes out the baby while Paranoid Man gets attacked by a tentacle. Scully orders The Wussy to shoot out the apartment’s sprinklers. (Freshwater vs. seawater is the only way to keep the creature at bay.)
The next morning, Sculder are back at Dales’ trailer with their perfectly clean, shiny, not-a-mark-on-it rental car. Of course, the new baby was named after the storm. And Arthur has a new appreciation for Dana now. I guess The Looter got away. I wonder if he tried to tell anyone what happened. Maybe some even believed him. It’s possible, because all the nuts roll down to Florida.
Sestra Professional:
I don't think anyone ever changed someone's mind when it comes to liking or disliking an episode, but I'll still be turning my appreciation of "Agua Mala" on full blast. A show doesn't have to be perfect in every single way to be enjoyed. So for all its deficiencies, I'd watch this one over the lame mythology that fizzled out in our previous two episodes -- "Two Fathers" and "One Son" -- every time.
The characters are stereotyped within an inch of their lines and the likelihood of a woman giving birth at the most inconvenient moment is ludicrous. But to start with, we get to see Arthur Dales again. He's a crusty old coot, ain't he? Just having The Night Stalker -- as previously mentioned that show was the biggest inspiration for this series -- in the fold again is its own reward.
So the mom in the teaser had it figured out. She knew they needed fresh H20 from the washing machine in order to negate the effects to the seawater menace. Good thing she and the husband were marine biologists. Or maybe that darn cat figured it out. He must be down to six lives by now. Reg-gie! Reg-gie! Reg-gie!
The radio report warning of a hurricane making land from Naples to Fort Myers unintentionally cracks me up. Forty miles? That would make Leroy a tiny storm to be sure, but even such pinpoint accuracy should have fostered a bigger cone since the hurricane wouldn't exactly stop after making land there.
The bottom of the ocean is as deep and dark as the imagination: The scene between the Night Stalker, son of Kolchak (yes, another man now can factor into the who-sired-Fox mix) and Dr. Dubious makes me giggle for more planned reasons. Still, looking at what Dales has become can make us fear for Mulder's future. If dealing with conspiracy could make someone as sharp as Arthur turn to the bottle, what hope does our Fox have for the future?
The exchange with Deputy Greer is just as entertaining. Our heroes have survived so much that we too are not overly concerned when the deputy pulls his gun on them and threatens arrest. That, in turn, gives us a nice Sculder scene, and it feels like taking a shower after a particularly grimy day in the wake of the nonsense in the midseason two-parter to witness a lively exchange between our leads. Mulder's understandably enamored of Dales: "He's seen things that I've only read about." But Scully crests in with a perfect retort: "Because sea monsters can only be read about."
I don't need my mettle tested: The biggest bummer was having Greer rinsed out ... permanently. "Forrest Gump" was entertaining. His attack gives Fox and Dana the chance to do what they do best, though. Scully gets to use the deputy's Leatherman tool while Mulder discerns the issue and helps the others on the premises. Arthur tuning in to listen to his proteges is akin to a rainbow after a storm.
David Amann's second script for the series after "Terms of Endearment" (S6E7) provided quite the impression of all the nuts that roll down to Florida. The overly pregnant woman who hasn't married her baby daddy and doesn't resist any impulse to call him out on everything from choice of residence to lack of transportation. The militant shut-in who won't listen to reason and the unseen manager who doesn't respond to tenants' needs. Not to mention a looter who chose the worst possible place to go about his business -- uh, not sure how he was planning to get away with the television without a vehicle in the driving rain.
I think the deputy went out with the bathwater: The characters may be one-note, but I find the overall premise intriguing. One of nature's savage storms dredges up something that gets pulled into the plumbing and old Leroy prevents our heroes from being able to get away from the danger. When the creature attacks Mulder, he's in danger of suffering the same fate as Greer. Fox seems to put the pieces together, with the cat's assistance, but apparently Dana gets to be champion this time around. Dales is so impressed that he claims he might not have retired if he had someone as savvy as Scully by his side. So maybe we don't have to worry about Mulder's ultimate fate after all.
Guest star of the week: It should be Darren McGavin, but I can't resist giving it Joel McKinnon Miller. He's Scully too! Or Scully 2? I guess he would be Scully 3 since Vin Scully is the original. His performance as the lamentable deputy would have been the perfect screen test for his ineffectual Brooklyn Nine-Nine detective. He's yet another of the charms that turn the tide and keep me from considering this episode to be truly mala. Lots of agua, though.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and that’s pretty accurate in this week’s episode. The opening shot focuses on an unshaven man wearing a wrinkled shirt, sitting in front of an electric typewriter in a room free of distractions. He’s got his Marlboro Reds and what is probably a glass of whiskey. (I seriously doubt it’s tea.) We learn he’s experiencing some form of writer’s block so he goes into the bathroom and rips his heart out of his chest. 
That doesn’t seem like an acceptable way to cure writer’s block, but let’s suspend some disbelief. He later gets to experience an elevator ride with Scully. Turns out the “heartless” writer Phillip Padgett, played by Deadwood’s John Hawkes, is Mulder’s neighbor. He has a habit of listening to Sculder’s conversations through the wall. This week, our intrepid heroes are investigating a serial killer who is committing “psychic surgery” -- Fox's words, not mine -- and yes, hearts have been removed. 
Mulder is out at the scene, but back at the office, Scully finds a “milagro” (miracle charm) slipped under the office door. Phillip’s voiceover – allegedly necessary because of his work in progress – certainly sounds like a written narrative. Fox thinks the lucky charm – which is of a burning heart – was intended for Dana, not for him. 
Of course, Padgett’s interest in Scully makes for an awkward elevator ride with Mulder. On the upside, it looks like Phillip's writer’s block has been cured, as possibly is Dana's dry spell. Nope, it’s just Padgett's vivid imagination brought forth by the episode’s director. Dana really does stop by Phillip’s apartment and has a cup of coffee with him. Too bad he keeps talking and reveals he’s been stalking Scully since before he got the apartment. She’s still intrigued, though, and chooses to sit in the dark with Padgett. Mulder enters the apartment, guns a-blazing, and arrests Phillip after realizing Padgett chose his victims through the newspaper of personal ads available by their mailboxes.
Back at the jail, the dynamic duo releases Padgett, who is convinced Scully is in love with Fox. Inside his apartment, Padgett encounters Naciamento, the character brought to life. Sculder, watching via surveillance camera, only see Phillip sitting alone by his typewriter. Padgett and Naciamento discuss his character’s motivation. Unfortunately, he realizes Dana must die in the story. Phillip heads down to the incinerator with his book. 
Now "Milagro" isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Dreamy Scully sequences are interwoven with scenes of pretty gruesome violence. And I can't fathom those elements being mixed together better by anyone than Kim Manners, the director continuously counted on to drive home the emotional moments. Beyond that, the Hallmark fan base might just want Dana and Fox to say those magic words to each other, not have them spoken for them by a guy who conjures up the ripping out of hearts to wear on his proverbial sleeve.
But she was beautiful -- fatally, stunningly prepossessing: It's not all hearts and flowers. The vivid imagery of hearts being ripped out of chests belies conventional romance, suffusing it with elements of pain and suffering. And that only serves to make Manners' ensuing slow-motion 360-degree freeze-frame pans around gorgeous Gillian Anderson even more intense.
Loneliness is a choice: Another pattern in Scully-centric shows is less-than-idealistic behavior exhibited by Fox -- be it mail theft or unlawful entrance. The majority of the time, he's driven and correct in his suppositions -- your basic misunderstood genius. But in Dana-driven "Milagro," we see the cracks in his armor. This serves to refine his character as well. I need to see Mulder unsettled by Scully when they're in the same orbit -- as opposed to the different paths forged by her abduction and cancer scare -- before any major declarations are forthcoming. 
But that gets put on the back burner for a bit with Dana in physical danger yet again. Maybe that, in turn, will drive home the points Padgett made to them. These two couldn't possibly be right for anyone else in the world. Whereas Carter once told the world he had no plans to put Mulder and Scully together romantically, "Milagro" seems to reverse that position and plot a course precisely for that. And that is accomplished without dialogue, we're not hit over the head with it. Carter and company just let us know it's there. 
