X-Files S2E7: Sometimes 3 isn't a magic number

Sestra Amateur: 

Straight talk only here. I have really bad taste when it comes to movies. Ask anyone. Not everything, obviously, but there are some God-awful cheesy ones I enjoy watching, either because of the story, characters or music. Several vampire movies were released in the early '90s that are perfect examples: Pale Blood, Children of the Night, Blood Ties, Innocent Blood, Embrace of the Vampire. These movies were never meant to win any awards – well, maybe Razzies – but at least it was fun to pretend for 90 minutes that vampires could be real. So you’d think this episode would be right up my alley. 

The X-Files addresses all types of monsters, so it was only a matter of time before they wrote an episode about vampires. But "3" did everything wrong. The dialogue may have sounded better coming from actors and actresses (OK, one actress) who can actually act. Mulder, who’s clearly missing Scully, makes some majorly bad choices all through his investigation. Plus Glen Morgan and James Wong (who wrote the sterling "Beyond the Sea") are responsible for this?! It’s the perfect example of how every Empire Strikes Back writer has a little Phantom Menace in him. 

This episode opens in Hollywood Hills, California. Firefighters are battling wildfires in the background of the entire episode. Our victim’s first scene has him complaining ash fell into his glass of wine. People are losing their homes and their lives, but let’s not inconvenience the rich guy who made the conscious choice not to enjoy his beverage indoors. Turns out he sent his family away so he could play with some strange woman. She bites his neck and sucks his blood. Then another man comes out of hiding and they all struggle in the hot tub. Looks like the bloodsuckers won this round.

Back in Washington, D.C., Mulder is finally back inside the recently unlocked X-Files office. He moves the calendar from May to November and puts Scully’s case file in with the other X-Files. Mulder then goes to the crime scene in Hollywood Hills and talks to Commander Carver. Fox discloses that similar murders occurred in Memphis, Tennessee and Portland (Oregon) and the killers have to be around blood. Mulder says he plans on investigating alone. Guess he’s still smarting over that Krycek betrayal and his usual trust issues. 

He tracks down a suspect at a local blood bank with just a telephone and the Yellow Pages. Very innovative, Mulder. He takes John, a.k.a. The Son, into custody but John claims the bright lights in the interrogation room are hurting him. I wonder if keeping the lights on can result in an excessive force complaint. “Good Cop” Mulder turns them off and uses a softer red light, so John will now only talk to Mulder. The “Bad Cops” are happy to comply and leave the room. Mulder doesn’t believe John is a vampire because he can see John’s reflection in a mirror. But John believes he and his partners can prolong their lives by consuming other people’s blood. His partners are “The Father” and “The Unholy Spirit.” Mulder leaves and John somehow burns to death when he’s exposed to sunlight. Not his clothes or hair, though, just his skin. We’ll know more after Scully performs the autopsy. Oh yeah ... nevermind.

Mulder meets with the pathologist and they talk about medical conditions like porphyria and Gunther Disease, both of which can be related to false myths about vampires. A stamp on John’s hand leads Mulder to a club that looks and feels a little David Lynch-y. Mulder zeros in on Kristen, the first female he sees who’s looking into a compact that has no mirror. If she doesn’t use a mirror then how is her lipstick literally flawless? Is she “The Unholy Spirit?” That’s unknown but it appears “The Father” is in the club watching everything and sucking on his own hand. 

Kristen talks insipidly about blood, life, blah, blah, blah. Mulder seems engrossed – then grossed out when she offers him a finger of her blood. Our phlegm fatale leaves Mulder and hooks up with the next guy willing to suck her bloody finger. Fox follows them to a closed restaurant where the man thrashes Mulder and reminds him they are consenting adults. Then that man gets jumped and bitten, presumably to death. I’ll bet he didn’t consent to that. The pathologist on this one tells Mulder the bites are from three different people. 

Mulder, who now knows Kristen’s full name, learns she lived in Memphis and Portland. He goes to her house in the hills with Los Angeles Police Department detectives, who have a warrant. You know, there’s an awful lot of sunlight for someone who chooses to live in the dark. Does she really go to the trouble of covering her windows at night and removing them in the morning? Mulder checks her oven and sees a loaf of bread filled with blood. This apparently means she’s not a killer and is trying to protect herself from evil, not that she’s a really bad cook. No one who watches this episode will have strawberry jam on their toast ever again. 

Mulder somehow convinces the cops to leave without searching the rest of the house, then waits inside for Kristen to return home. The femme banal tells her sob story and even Fox looks bored. It started with her dad’s abuse. She and John got into freaky blood sports. She left him, but he hooked up with the other two and they’ve been following her since. Mulder convinces Kristen to try the normal route and they have sex. Makes you wonder if Fox had a condom in his wallet since Kristen probably didn’t have any in the house. And after his verbalized concerns in the club, it is unlikely he would have sex with her without one, unless he’s thinking with little Mulder. Oh, and “The Father” is outside watching them while the wildfires continue to rage nearby.

Now here’s where everything goes sideways. Just when we think we know what’s going on, John returns, unburned. He’s in Kristen’s kitchen with a knife and tries to convince her to kill Mulder. Kristen wakes him up, then stabs “The Father.” Mulder and Kristen incapacitate John, then try to leave in her car since his car is at the bottom of the hill. “The Unholy Spirit,” the Romanian woman who seduced the Hollywood Hills victim, grabs Mulder and pulls him up through the sun roof, rather effortlessly. Kristen hits the woman with her car. Mulder says he’ll run down the hill to his car. Really glad he didn’t take Kristen down there with him. Otherwise, she’d still be alive and we’d probably have to endure more episodes with her. 

Kristen licks blood she got from the trio because she thinks she’ll survive whatever happens next. Then she sets herself and John on fire. The house blows up and now the firefighters have even more work to do. They must be utterly exhausted. That woman was clearly a twisted, selfish waste of decent makeup. Mulder learns four burned bodies were found in the house. Wonder if he ever tells Scully about this case after her return. “Hey Fox, remember the time I disappeared and you nailed the blood addict because you were thinking with little Mulder?” 

A wise Mulder would keep this entire incident to himself. Everyone involved is dead. No harm, no foul. That’s enough for now. I just learned 1990’s Daughter of Darkness is available on Amazon Prime. Time to cleanse the palate.

Sestra Professional:

While Scully's away, Mulder will play. 

It's difficult to pinpoint the reason why this episode is so bad and so reviled among the show's faithful, maybe because there are too many culprits involved in the making it. It boasts a suspect list longer than the number of Murder on the Orient Express killers.  

There's the hubris of casting David Duchovny's then-girlfriend, Perrey Reeves, as the would-be vamp Mulder gets it on with. I suppose that wouldn't have been so bad if the whole thing wasn't so damn boring. Buffy the Vampire Slayer did interesting vamps for seven years, and The X-Files can't handle it for 44 minutes?

I suppose if anyone was going to turn Fox's head, it would have to be someone with a supernatural bent. Plus there's the added bonus of Kristen being the kind of helpless victim Mulder gravitates to in general, specifically after the trauma of losing Dana. Plus, the guy's pump already had to be primed after getting his hands inside his treasured X-Files drawers once again.

The story was penned by Chris Ruppenthal (who fared much better in the Season 1 outing "Roland," but didn't write another for the show after this abomination) with the seasoned team of Glen Morgan and James Wong handling the script. I'll just blame Ruppenthal for this trite yarn and credit Morgan and Wong for sly use of dialogue like a cop telling Mulder that "it's really hard to trust anyone" in California.

They have the same feeble grasp on the Bible as all those big-haired preachers do: I'd like to give the show credit for trying to make some advances on the basic vamp theme. Before Buffy, the vampire mythology was usually played a certain way. But these guys store the blood in advance, so they have no shortage later. That's a unique approach, right? Nah, still not interested.

Mulder says he works alone. Clearly, The X-Files shouldn't have played the Krycek villain card too soon. It could have been a fun three-way. Well, it could have been less monotonous at any rate. Especially if the story went a completely different way. 

Normal is not what I feel: Another possible saving grace might have been Mulder investigating something he previously discounted as mere myth. But this is handled in the most trite manner. There's no verve or zest to this episode. It's not just because Dana's not there and it's not because Mulder's getting it on with someone who is not Scully.
 

Show creator Chris Carter tried to explain the twist in The Official Guide to The X-Files, "This guy's a monk. Let's let him be a human. Especially in (Scully's) absence, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to do it." Count me among the precious few who would have accepted that, if there was anything remotely enticing about the way it was done.

The would-be vamp wishes she could die. We kinda do too. We get it, Kristen has got a thing for blood. So she goes to a club for fetishists. It's pretty difficult to avoid vampires when you do that, as it probably is their regular hangout. The pretentious, gothic place serves as a microcosm of the episode, pretending to be cool but really more eye-rolling.

There are a ton more exciting/sexy components (see also: the exact opposite), such as going to the would-be vamp's house with police and a warrant. Oooh, she has a snake bite kit and veterinary needles. I'm on pins and veterinary needles. Oooh, she's got bread with blood in it. That's supposed to protect her. Nothing in there that'll protect us?

Blood tastes dangerous: Then we get to know more about Kristen. That's a mistake. She likes the sweet and thick nature of blood. Please, you're killing us with the sexy here. And good lord, now back story, she was an abused kid. Could it be more heavy-handed? The beatings she took then and the fascination with blood now mark the only ways Kristen knew she was alive. Jury's out on the rest of us puttering around in waking comas.

Somewhere in there, there was a nugget of a plot -- these vamps are particularly dangerous when there's three of them. Could have, should have been a more intriguing story. Maybe one with less talking and less yelling about burning in harsh overhead lights and/or sunshine. Hopefully this makes Mulder think twice about getting involved again. One night with him, and the next day, his bedmate can't see past self-immolation. Thankfully, she took out the rest in the process. And finally something to love about the episode -- no pontificating, it just ends on that fact.

X-Files S2E6: Buying a stairway to heaven

Sestra Amateur: 

This episode should have been titled “Things one has to endure to get maternity leave.” As we pick up from the "Duane Barry" cliffhanger, Mulder is listening to the phone message Scully left at the end of the previous episode. Local cops are already on scene, crime tape and all, by the time Mulder gets to her apartment. Dana’s mom arrives, and Fox doesn’t have any answers for her. Maybe he should take the advice from the opening credits and “deny everything."

Skinner arranges a meeting at FBI Headquarters to discuss Scully’s abduction by Duane Barry while the Cigarette-Smoking Man lurks (aka sits quietly and puffs in a chair) in the background. Skinner sends Mulder home to get some sleep. 

Duane Barry is out for a lovely drive in Virginia, presumably in Scully’s car. Turns out she’s in the trunk. Duane is trying to get to his original abduction site. Must be using some intuitive form of alien GPS since he told Mulder last episode he didn’t know how to get there. His crappy driving draws the attention of a local trooper. This officer is a little too polite for his own good. He knows something is really wrong, but Barry keeps passively resisting his lawful requests. When Trunk Scully accidentally distracts him, Duane shoots and kills the trooper. 

Four hours later, Mulder is viewing the camera footage from the trooper’s car and sees Scully is still alive. Mulder realizes they are heading to Skyland Mountain. Of course, Krycek relays that information to CSM even though Mulder chooses not to tell Skinner. So the boys head that way, but Mulder almost kills them when he falls asleep at the wheel. That would have sent this episode in an entirely different direction, wouldn’t it?

The tram that goes up the mountain is out of service. Duane Barry (and Scully) took the scenic route, but Mulder coerces the tram operator into letting him take the tram. Fox leaves Alex alone with the operator as he races to try and save Dana. Krycek waits until Mulder is almost at the top, then incapacitates the tram operator. He stops the tram so Fox is just dangling near the mountain top, but with a lovely view. Mulder can’t raise anyone on the radio, so he climbs out of the tram. Krycek calls CSM to say Mulder’s been stopped, but Alex starts up the tram again ... with Mulder on the outside. Dick move, Alex. Is this because Mulder has two Titan vinyl figures and you don’t have any? I’m sure Sestra Pro will point out the duality of Krycek, friend and/or foe. 

Mulder gets to the top of the mountain safe and sound and finds Scully’s gold cross necklace on the ground. He then sees a UFO -- this description applies because the object that is currently flying is also unidentified -- and hears Duane Barry’s maniacal laughter. Barry tells Mulder “they” took Scully, so now Barry is free. Then the Feds arrive and Duane gets taken into custody again. Not so free. 

Mulder, who still hasn’t slept, loses control during the interrogation and stars to choke Barry. This is the perfect example of why it’s good to have more than one friend in your life. If you only have the one. then you kind of go off the rails when something happens to him/her. Duane Barry tells Mulder he’s sorry, but they “had” to take her. It also seems Mulder still doesn’t know Krycek was the one who initially stranded him in the tram. 

Gazing out a window, Mulder imagines Scully undergoing weird alien experiments. For the first time this season, Gillian Anderson doesn’t have to hide her pregnant belly. Then Fox sees Alex interviewing Duane and interrupts. Clearly, Mulder is the type of person who doesn’t want other kids playing with his toys. Krycek says Duane claims Mulder choked him. Do you think third person-obsessed Duane said, “Mulder choked me” or “Mulder choked Duane Barry?” Skinner arrives and is understandably pissed. Duane goes into another choking frenzy and dies. Krycek, what did you do?!?

In the FBI morgue at Quantico, Mulder meets with a military pathologist to discuss  Barry’s autopsy results. We know that’s normally Scully’s job, but given the circumstances, it probably wouldn’t be prudent to postpone the autopsy of her abductor until her return. Krycek discreetly meets with CSM in the parking garage. If they’re actually in the FBI garage, then I’m thinking it’s not so discreet after all. CSM tells Alex to write the truth in his report and Krycek’s reply is probably the best way to sum up the entire X-Files run: “What do you mean?” CSM says the Scully situation has been addressed (technically it was taken care of, but I really, really hate ending sentences with prepositions). CSM puts Alex back in his lackey place while continuing to expose him to second-hand smoke. If Krycek died of lung cancer, could CSM be held accountable? 

Skinner confronts Mulder about Duane’s death. Mulder takes Krycek’s car and tries to meet with Senator Matheson, one of his few supporters. Mr. X intervenes and tells Mulder the government’s policy is to deny everything. Makes you wonder if one or more government agencies opened a file on Chris Carter because of this show. Mulder finds cigarettes in Krycek’s ashtray and links them to CSM. He gives Skinner a complete report that essentially accuses Alex of murder and conspiracy. Skinner sides with Mulder and they learn Krycek has disappeared. Skinner can’t do anything about that but he does reopen the X-Files. Go Skinner! 

Mulder meets with Scully’s mom, but doesn’t have any new information for her. He tries to give her Dana's gold cross necklace but Mama Scully tells him to hold on to it until he finds her. But he does pose an interesting question: “If she was such a skeptic, why did she wear that?” Maybe she was still in her '80s Madonna phase.

Sestra Professional:

Actually the question of Scully's faith is addressed in later episodes, but as it stands here, I think it gives her more character. We're all more complicated than the nouns or adjectives we can use to describe us, here's another example of the show fleshing out their lead female. It's amazing how ever-present Dana is in this episode, when we see so little of her during it.

There couldn't have been a more powerful way for Gillian Anderson to go on her maternity leave. The atmosphere has been heightened in this arc, we're invested like never before. The conspiracy has been taken to a different level -- who has been after Duane Barry the whole time and why? Whatever the answer to that question,  now Scully's in that web.

Bravo for Mulder's detective work under personal strain and lack of sleep. He knows there's a reason Duane was able to find Scully -- it wasn't random and it wasn't bad scripting. It could have been the tracking device. Or, for once, Fox is even willing to believe the most plausible explanation -- someone told him where he could grab her.

Can't recall a better adventure sequence on the show to date than Mulder getting up the mountain on the tram. First, Fox disobeys operator orders (which he didn't hear much of since he took off before he heard them all) and revs the car past the recommended speed. That definitely quickens the pulse. Then there's the acrobatic routine just short of the summit, when Krycek's treachery comes in to play. Well, you did your best, Alex. Oh yeah, supposed to be rooting for Fox. Way to go, Mulder. Major kudos to David Duchovny for doing stunt work on this set piece -- he said at the time that if he was going to risk life and limb, we should at least be able to tell it was him getting the job done.

The military's in on it: It's another knockout performance by Steve Railsback, particularly atop Skyland Mountain when Duane's shouting to the heavens about pulling one over on the aliens by getting them to take Scully instead. "You can't touch Duane Barry any more! ... They took her! ... Them!!!!" He so completely disappears into character that it's not difficult to bemoan his fate, even after serving up Dana on a platter.

But all props to Gillian Anderson --  whose appearances are brief, but oh-so-suspenseful.  She's bound and gagged in the trunk of a car in one scene, and in the other, apparently undergoing experiments -- with her full belly.

You have no rights, only orders to be carried out: The show had looked to be maneuvering Krycek into a solid good guy/bad guy position, with Alex corroborating Mulder's story while still undermining him whenever he could do so. But then the plot point which has stuck in my craw lo these many years, Fox makes the connection to the Cigarette-Smoking Man when he spies the butts in the car ashtray. So that story ends before it can truly get under way. 

Mulder thinks Krycek is responsible for everything -- gave away the whereabouts of Scully, killed the tram operator, killed Duane Barry. Perhaps he also took the Lindbergh baby. And Mulder's basing that on a few stubbed cigarettes found in a car? The same kind smoked by a guy who sat in Skinner's office and listened to Fox and Alex reporting in on Duane Barry? Wouldn't Skinner be under suspicion by his own agent under that reasoning?

The back story is that Nicholas Lea was just hired to do this storyline --  they didn't plan on utilizing Krycek again. So much the pity, there was a lot more there to be mined. And going in that direction would have been a lot more interesting than what goes on in the next episode, one of the most abhorred in the show's lexicon. 

But back to the good stuff, some meta on the CSM-Krycek discussion/dress down, the head baddie explains why the conspiracy doesn't just kill Mulder -- "Kill Mulder and you risk turning one man's religion into a crusade." Fans had been wondering why he's allowed to continue his investigations, this was Chris Carter's way of addressing that issue. An example of how interactive the show could be from time to time, just not on the greatest question of all -- to ship or not to ship.

X-Files S2E5: Things are getting Barry, Barry interesting

Sestra Amateur: 

Meet Duane Barry. He looks like a nice, normal guy with a house and a dog. But Duane Barry is not normal. He thinks he’s been abducted by aliens and he’s convinced they performed experiments on him. Duane even thinks they implanted tracking devices in his sinus cavity, teeth and belly button so they can always find him. On June 3, 1985, Barry believes the aliens have returned to torture him. But are we seeing what Duane thinks he’s seeing or have aliens really found him? 

Nine years later, we see Duane Barry again, and in that time, he's understandably been institutionalized. His psychiatrist, Dr. Hakkie (who looks a little alien himself), wants to sedate Duane because his patient is refusing to take his meds. Barry says it’s because he doesn’t like how they make him feel. Then Duane tries another approach -- he knocks out a security guard and takes Hakkie Sack hostage. That’s not really helping your argument, is it?

Mulder is swimming when Krycek tracks him down to tell him they’re needed at the hostage scene. I’d bet a Titans Scully vinyl figure that Sestra Pro was more focused on Krycek in his business suit than on Mulder in his teeny tiny red Speedo. 

Mulder and Krycek meet with Agent Lucy Kazdin, whose hairstyle, clothes and skepticism really reminded me of Scully. Duane not only has Hakkie Sack as a hostage; he’s holding employees at a travel agency too. Aside from the mental health issues, Duane Barry also has a bad habit of referring to himself in the third person, but that’s probably how he distances himself from the horrifying memories in his head. Barry wants to go back to his abduction site, but he doesn’t know where that would be. I don’t think the travel agency has a Triple-A Triptik for that location, Duane. 

While talking to Barry on the phone, Mulder learns the guy is a former FBI agent. Guess Duane knows all of their hostage negotiation tricks. Mulder is clearly the man of the hour with this case while Krycek does the coffee run. Ouch. Hope he didn’t screw up the drink order. Nothing will kill a budding career faster. Mulder calls Scully to research Duane Barry. The power goes out and Duane shoots wildly, hitting one of his hostages. Medic!

Mulder and another agent mobilize to help the shooting victim. Mulder trades himself for the injured man. Agent Kazdin tries to coach him, but Mulder goes off script because he believes Duane is truly an abductee. Scully calls Mulder, but can only reach Krycek. She warns Alex that Mulder needs to get out before Duane kills him but clearly does not tell Krycek why because she instead hops on a plane to tell them in person. Not sure whether that should be chalked up to Scully’s lack of trust with Krycek (even though she has no known reason not to trust him), her emotional state at the thought of Mulder’s life in danger or a writing continuity issue. 

Duane describes the torture he endured from his aliens, things the meanest dentist in the world wouldn’t even do to a patient. Scully says Barry is experiencing psychosis from a shooting injury to his head which occurred when he was an FBI agent. She relays that information to Mulder, who convinces Duane to release the female hostages. Mulder gets Barry out of harm’s way when the Hostage Response Team is ready to shoot him, but then seems to put him right back in their cross hairs. They shoot Duane but don’t kill him.

Agent Kazdin later tells Mulder doctors recovered metal from Duane’s gums and sinus cavity, just where he said they would be. Duane also had damage to his teeth that could not have been caused by modern dental instruments. Scully has the metal analyzed and learns it has some type of bar code. She scans it at the grocery store checkout register and it seems to show a serial number. Weird. She also pays for her purchases with a check and the cashier doesn’t ask for a driver’s license. Weirder. 

Back at the hospital, the “aliens” return for poor Duane Barry, so he knocks out a security guard and leaves – I assume – against medical advice. Scully calls Mulder because the serial number on the metal freaked her out. But Duane Barry shows up at her apartment and our intrepid heroine is in trouble … to be continued. 

Sestra Professional:

Gillian Anderson's pregnancy really put The X-Files on the spot. And not only did executive producer Chris Carter work his way out of that hole, he did so brilliantly with an arc that reverberated for the rest of the series run.

"Duane Barry" marked the first time Carter took the reins directorially, and he received on-the-job training with a near-flawless episode that he also penned. Of course, it helped to get Steve Railsback to take the title role and go off the proverbial rails with Duane. He gives that poor schlub such gravity, all the while retaining that is-he-right or is-he-crazy sensibility.

Speedo time! I'd say Sestra Am owes me a Scully Titans vinyl figure, but she already gave it to me. When Mulder goes for a swim during a break from his hefty alien caseload, a thousand fan fictions are born -- particularly after Krycek retrieves him with the words "something's going down." To be fair, I didn't see Alex sneaking a peek at Fox's package, but maybe he did while I was doing that.

It's a great plot device to have Mulder come in to do the hostage negotiation. The team already on site certainly doesn't believe in aliens, they just want the FBI's leading authority to appear to understand Barry so they can keep him on the telephone, prevent him from taking lives and get the situation resolved.

You think you know what Duane Barry's going through? It's another swift stroke to make Barry former FBI. Kinda makes you think that Fox Mulder isn't so far away from turning into the shrieking fearball that Duane has become over the years. His resolve to sympathize with Barry puts Mulder at odds with those who have brought him in to help the situation. Agent Kazdin -- fabulous CCH Pounder (who might be guest star of the week under other circumstances) gets to deliver the lone humorous note in the ep -- telling Krycek to take out his note pad and then ordering her complicated cappuccino.

Someone probably should have told little Lucy and the tactical team that Mulder would go over the line with Duane, that he would be not only interested in saving the hostages but in helping Barry out as well. And there's something deeply freaky about Duane claiming the aliens drilled holes in his damn teeth on the same day I went to the dentist -- and had holes drilled in my damn teeth. 

Now we've got Scully working from behind her desk on the other side, finding out that Barry isn't what Mulder thinks he is -- thanks to that bullet in the brain thing. Yeah, OK, I'll admit that just might be responsible for his unique insight. Hey, Krycek gets a step up from order taker, now he's fielding phone calls. He can come be my secre ... assistant, if he wants. I'll definitely treat him better.

Another vote is in -- and one of the female hostages admits she believes Barry's story before she exits the premises. Kazdin eventually is forced to recognize the strangeness of the actual implants found on Duane's X-rays, and even Scully admits that would mean he was telling the truth -- or some version of the truth. And that's the premise that really propels the series going forward. What version of the truth are we getting? It's not all lies, but it's not the entire truth either.

Guest star of the week: Railsback. Wow, another tour de force performance on a series that's already pulling top-notch talent early in its second season. He's played psychopaths before -- Charles Manson in the TV movie Helter Skelter, Ed Gein in the film of the same name -- but not quite in this vein. Interestingly enough, it was Pounder who scored an Emmy nomination for this episode. Maybe Railsback was a little too good for his own good.

X-Files S2E4: Heeeere's Krycek: Expect Sleepless nights

Sestra Amateur: 

Nope, we’re not in Seattle. We’re in New York City where Saul Grissom is relaxing on the couch in his apartment, minding his own business. He realizes the hallway is on fire, calls 911 and grabs a fire extinguisher. It doesn’t do any good and the fire spreads inside the apartment. Firemen rush upstairs while residents run out in panic, except for one man with a creepy look on his face. Hey, it’s Candyman! No hook for a hand, but he does have a weird scar on his neck. The firemen don’t see signs of a fire but force their way into Saul’s apartment and find poor, dead Saul. So was the fire only in Saul’s head? Nice to know the resale value of a decent NYC apartment hasn’t been affected.

Sometime later Mulder picks up the newspaper from his doorstep and finds better inserts than coupons. Someone circled Saul’s obit and provided an audiocassette of Saul’s 911 recording. Turns out Dr. Grissom researched sleep disorders before his untimely demise. Mulder tries to convince Skinner that Grissom’s death is an X-File. Skinner says he’ll look into it then sends Mulder back to the purgatory that is wiretap duty. 

Mulder later gets a visit from an eager agent by the name of Alex Krycek. (I think I heard Sestra Pro’s squeal when I was watching the ep. She has a sixth sense about him.) Krycek tells Mulder they’re assigned to Grissom’s case, but since Krycek opened the file he considers it his case. Krycek shows some balls when Mulder fights him on it. Krycek: 1, Mulder: 0. Mulder covertly calls Scully and asks her to perform an autopsy on Grissom. Hey Sestra, who’s George Hale? (Mulder's nom de plume.)

Mulder ditches Krycek (Mulder 1, Krycek 1) and goes to Grissom’s sleep disorder clinic in Stamford, Connecticut. Krycek catches up with Mulder there and is a little perturbed, but Mulder has to concede since the rookie has the lone vehicle. Krycek 2, Mulder, 1. Mulder and Krycek meet with Scully at Quantico so she could discuss her autopsy findings. She says Grissom’s body showed he was exposed to intense heat but did not suffer burns, as though the victim believed he was burning to death. 

Meanwhile, Candyman has a reunion with Henry Willig, a man with the same neck scar as Candyman. Henry, who calls him Preacher, is being tortured by visions from their time in Vietnam. Preacher induces Henry into believe he's being shot to death by his Vietnamese victims. Krycek’s contact tells him about Henry’s unusual autopsy results -- Henry has 43 small internal hemorrhages but no bullet holes. Krycek 3, Mulder 1. 

Mulder learns Willig was a Marine and realizes both victims were stationed together 24 years earlier. The only other survivor of their group is Augustus Cole – Preacher – who is in a secured VA hospital in New Jersey. Well, no, he’s not. Turns out Cole tricked his doctor into signing him out. Cole’s doctor says they had kept him separated from the other patients because he somehow disrupted their sleep patterns. While Mulder and Krycek are making progress in their investigation, Mr. X – Deep Throat’s very reluctant replacement – insists on a meeting related to the case. 

Mulder ditches Krycek again (Krycek 3, Mulder 2), so Mr. X can talk the sleep eradication treatments that made Willig, Cole and their unit “better soldiers” in Vietnam. Mr. X gives Mulder the name of a presumed dead soldier so they can interview him. Krycek 3, Mulder 3. Mulder then retrieves Krycek, who has heard that Cole robbed a drug store and is hiding at a nearby motel. Krycek 4, Mulder 3. They join the local police, but two officers end up shooting each other while Cole gets away. 

Scully is typing up her report, and as usual this season, missing all the action. Mulder believes Cole is telepathically projecting his consciousness onto others, which we know is true. Krycek 4, Mulder 4. Mulder and Krycek head to 2 Jays Café – no, not TooJay’s where you can get a nice, thick, tasty pastrami sandwich – this place is more like a dive. They meet with Sal. He not only has the neck scar, but like Cole and Willig, looks like he hasn’t been sleeping. Turns out that’s the case. Sal, who hasn’t gotten a wink in 24 years, tells them the horrifying history of their squad’s murderous actions. Sal says Grissom had a partner named Dr. Francis Girardi. Scully learned Girardi is en route to New York for Grissom’s funeral. 

Mulder and Krycek get stuck on the Long Island Expressway – damn that rush-hour traffic! -- and barely make it to the Bronx train station in time. Of course, Cole’s there too. Mulder finds Girardi,, then spots Cole pointing a gun at Girardi’s back. Mulder pulls his gun and tells Cole to drop his, but Cole shoots Girardi then seems to shoot Mulder. Turns out Mulder hallucinated the whole thing and was pointing his gun at the crowd. Krycek convinces Mulder to confide in him about Mulder’s theory of Cole’s psychic ability. Krycek 5, Mulder 4. 

While reviewing CCTV footage, Mulder and Krycek realize where Cole took Girardi. The latter imagines soldiers from the squad have returned to kill him. Mulder and Krycek find Girardi who is injured, but still alive. Alex calls for help while his seasoned partner finds Cole. Mulder tries to help Cole without shooting him, but Krycek catches up and points his gun at Cole. Cole holds out his bible, but Alex believes Cole is pointing a gun at Mulder so Krycek shoots and kills Candyman. Weirdest case of suicide by cop ever. Krycek panics when he can’t find a gun by Cole, but Mulder convinces Alex he did the right thing. Krycek 5, Mulder 5. 

Back in Mulder’s car, the file Mr. X gave him is missing. Someone also stole Scully’s reports related to the case. Turns out it was Krycek, who turns everything over to the Cigarette Smoking Man. Krycek tells him Scully is a problem and CSM agrees. Watch your back, Scully, and enjoy your maternity leave, Gillian. Final score: Krycek 6, Mulder 5. Round one goes to the new guy.

Sestra Professional:

Gillian's not on leave quite yet, she actually barely leaves the canvas as we'll see in the next episode -- a landmark one for the show on every front. But first, Krycek comes on the scene. A welcome addition, to put it mildly. I might have mentioned that he's my favorite character on the series, will detail why that is a lot more in future episodes.

Great opening teaser, very X-Filey for sure. It's an excellent set piece with the fire, only to find out that Grissom became more of a mental charcoal bricquet than a physical one. I don't know about anyone else, but this character reporting a fire comes off as an uncomfortable reference to the first Apollo mission for me.

Yes, Agent Mulder, I can read: Newspaper props in television are so shoddy, let me tell you that. We're really big on 1.) verbs, 2.) using negative white space and 3.) trying to draw the reader in. But full props to Howard Gordon (Homeland, 24, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), who penned the episode. This has both an interesting premise and character development as the show continues building to a seminal moment. Not to mention the fact that Mulder and Scully's relationship keeps getting stronger with them spending much of their time apart.

Re: Mulder referring to himself as George Hale, that's a callback to the "Little Green Men" episode earlier this season. Hale's ideas resulted in the creation of the Palomar Observatory in San Diego. The Hale Telescope is named for him. First user of that apparatus -- Edwin Powell Hubbell, who later got his own telescope tribute.

Krycek's pretty convincing as a would-be lapdog, trying to get on Mulder's side by saying he believed in his work, and that at the academy, he always thought there was more out there than what people were being force fed through official channels. Nice gag reflex too at seeing a corpse in a pugilistic state.

Although Scully's major contributions are medical, Gillian provides some texture with her reactions to Mulder's "new" partner. David does some major "something smells bad" acting in his initial antipathy for the rookie, but comes across much more naturally in a telephone call with Scully that shows how rock solid that relationship has become through good-natured teasing that speaks volumes about their unspoken need to be part of each other's lives. 

The truth is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous: We also get our first look at Mulder's new informant, X. Meta on this was that the character was going to be female -- and in fact, Natalija Nogulich even filmed a scene, but then she was replaced by 21 Jump Street alum Steven Williams. We're already finding out that he's a different kind of informant, one much less willing to be a father figure for Mulder. "The man we both knew paid for that information with his life, a sacrifice I'm not willing to make," X tells Mulder. 

Mulder might be not thrilled to have a Y chromosome tagging along, but it certainly makes for interesting interplay. The train station scene is loaded with tension. We're certainly with Mulder as he pulls his weapon when he thinks he sees both his witness and his target. But then we pull for the new guy, who claims he wants to believe and is looking for more insight into the case and Mulder.

And then the denouement. Even before we find out Krycek is not what he seems, Alex's reaction to getting the chance to take out Cole doesn't seem completely unwarranted. Particularly since he thinks he's seeing a weapon pointed right back at him. Even Mulder begrudgingly admits the rook did the right thing.

But, uh oh, Krycek is playing for the other team. (That's a bit of a double entendre, it wasn't long after this than Mulder-Krycek fan fiction started popping up on the internet.) It's Alex who points out the strengthened Sculder bond to Cigarette Smoking Man. So anything that happens to Scully is Krycek's fault?   

Guest star of the week: Since Nicholas Lea's role is recurring, it's a no-brainer to give the nod to Tony Todd. He gives a truly striking and committed performance as Augustus Cole, especially in his final scene. The Candyman-turned-24 General makes you buy into the premise and draws viewers into the resolution of this particular story while other pieces of the overall game are being moved around the board.

X-Files S2E3: They're out for Blood

Sestra Amateur: 

This week’s episode takes us to Franklin, Pennsylvania, or at least, Vancouver’s version of Franklin. A postal employee named Ed Funsch is inputting zip codes into a computer when he cuts his finger. A short time later, Ed’s boss has to fire him due to cutbacks. Sucks to be the low man on the totem pole, Ed. He really should have turned that cut into a Worker’s Compensation claim so he could buy himself some time. 

But Ed takes another approach. Since the boss took pity on him and said he could finish out the work week, Ed goes back to inputting zip codes. Shouldn’t bosses do the layoffs at the end of Friday’s work day just to avoid these kinds of conflicts? The digital display on Ed’s computer tells him to “Kill ‘Em All.” Now I’ve got Metallica’s "Seek and Destroy" in my head. Pretty much the same idea that is now in Ed’s head, but for very different reasons. 

Meanwhile, something similar is occurring in a crowded elevator in another part of Franklin. A claustrophobic man is getting violent instructions from the control panel. He follows through and kills four of the passengers. Local law enforcement calls the Feds for help. Guess who arrives. Sheriff Spencer tells Mulder that seven Franklin residents have killed 22 people in the past six months. That’s really going to hurt Franklin’s tourism business unless they decide to advertise it as the murder capital of the United States. Those seven killers are believed to have induced cops to kill them to stop further violence. 

The crime scene is still active when Mulder arrives, even though Franklin is at least 300 miles from Washington, D.C. I hate when they do that. Why not give us a throwaway line like Mulder was in the area for a Penguins game to explain his quick arrival? (This episode originally aired Sept. 30, 1994, so it could have been a preseason game.) 

While Mulder is assisting Sheriff Spencer, poor Ed is getting kill commands from his friendly neighborhood ATM. Seems like blood is a catalyst when Ed sees the digital commands. But Ed continues to resist. Good for you, Ed! 

Scully is studying Mulder’s review of the Franklin homicides. Her facial reaction when Mulder concedes it’s not aliens is priceless. Mulder notes damaged electronics at the crime scenes and starts to put the pieces together – not literally. Meanwhile, a woman goes to pick up her car from a creepy-but-not-criminal mechanic and kills him out of fear that he will rape and kill her. You know, she might have been able to convince a jury to believe her. But Mulder and Spencer interview her and she slashes Mulder with a knife after the microwave tells her they know what she did. Spencer shoots her dead. That makes the count eight killers and 23 victims --  or 31 victims.

Scully conducts the autopsy on the woman and determines the killers experienced an LSD-like state during phobic incidents. That’s an overly simplified description of what’s really going on with these people. You can compare my summary to Jurassic Park, in which the novel uses a good 15 pages of exposition to detail how dinosaurs of the same sex manage to breed, but the movie gives you the line “amphibian DNA” to answer all of your gender swapping questions. But enough of the science stuff. Let’s check in on Ed.

The good news is Ed is out job hunting. The bad news is he’s in a department store when multiple televisions encourage him to kill. And of course, this store has a sporting goods department where Ed can buy a rifle and ammunition. Out for a run, Mulder finds city workers and dead flies. That leads him to the Lone Gunmen who give Mulder some leads regarding governmentally banned pesticides. 

Mulder and Spencer confront the county supervisor, who admits the sprays were used to protect the crops that are part of Franklin’s economy. Mulder later gets hit with pesticides during an illegal spray. He goes to the hospital, and while watching the TV screen, thinks he’s picking up subliminal messages. Hey, Sestra Pro, wouldn’t this have been a good place to revisit Mulder’s pyrophobia? The sheriff convinces the mayor to stop spraying and discreetly get people tested. 

A blood tester ends up at Ed’s house, where he's already broken his computer monitor, calculator, watch and even his doorbell. Was the ding dong starting to sound like “kill kill?” Mulder gets to Ed’s house, but he is gone. Since Mulder realizes Ed’s fear is blood, he thinks he’s heading to the hospital. The agents await Ed at the hospital, and Scully hides behind Mulder -- mainly to cover Gillian Anderson’s pregnancy belly -- because there is absolutely nothing tactical about their positioning. 

But Ed has decided to go to the blood drive at the college instead. He goes up the clock tower with his rifle while Mulder and the sheriff head that way. I don’t know why they didn’t call campus police to let them know a paranoid psychotic with a rifle was heading their way. Based on their lights and sirens, it’s not like the sheriff was striving for discretion. Luckily, Ed is the worst shot ever. He took out some innocent bottles of orange juice, but I don’t think he hit a single human. Let’s give Ed the benefit of the doubt and think he’s still trying to resist the urge to kill. Mulder manages to subdue him without killing him. Mulder calls Scully and his cell phone screen reads, “All done. Bye bye.” My old Nokia never said that to me. Even scarier, Mulder’s phone is in roaming mode. Wonder how much that call cost him.

Sestra Professional:

It's The X-Files twist on going postal. And while this episode hasn't traditionally gotten a lot of notice, it is a fine example of the show really hitting its stride. The script -- by the tried-and-true duo of Glen Morgan and James Wong -- addressed disgruntled postal workers, random shootings and the fear and paranoia caused by insecticide sprayings. Darin Morgan, last week's mutant worm on camera, gets his first writing credit after helping develop the story.

Everything hinges on a committed yet somehow still sympathetic performance by William Sanderson, but a ton of kudos are also due to show's musical genius Mark Snow. First, he creates a genuinely creepy mood, then raises the stakes with music cues that substantially ratchet up the tension in the scariest moments.

Different chemicals, same stunts: Still working apart a great deal of the time, both Mulder and Scully fare very well in this one. Mulder intuits that gadgets have gone wild, while Scully finds the cause. Then they have The Lone Gunmen back to geek it up, comparing the Los Angeles sprayings to DDT testing in the '50s. Of course, back then effects started showing decades later and quite as quickly.

The county supervisor is following political protocol by believing everything he's been told, but miracle of miracles, the sheriff actually believes Mulder. We're finally making some progress. Maybe that's another reason why the show seems to be playing on a higher level, Sculder are not the only ones who believe the results of their investigation.

Of course, there still is room for traditional Mulder-Scully conflict. They can't agree on absolutely everything. So when Mulder claims insecticide heightened the killers' previous phobias and electronic messages made them carry out violence to prevent their worst fears from coming true, Scully kinda thinks it's garden-variety Mulder paranoia.

Fear. It's the oldest tool of power: Another strong point is that it doesn't take until the final 10 minutes to figure everything out. As mentioned, Sculder make their observations, and then all that's left is to find a man who has eluded testing. Is it too soon to say they're firing on all cylinders?

It does get to be a bit too much when Ed ascends a clock tower similarly to the infamous 1966 University of Texas massacre, like they're throwing everything but the kitchen sink into one episode, but it's a minor complaint about a strong episode. The most chilling X-Files have always played upon our own fears. This one delivers upon that premise and then some.

"We know more about what happened to him than he does," the sheriff said when Mulder still wants to question Ed after the denouement. (And in the back of my mind, I wonder if the affable John Cygan tested for my favorite role in the series -- said character makes his debut in the very next episode.)

A bit of meta, the tag -- "ALL DONE ... BYE BYE" -- was used as the final shot for the second season's gag reel. But that scene got me wondering whether Mulder continued his treatment off camera, since he obviously wasn't quite over his dosage of LSD. And yes indeed, Sestra Am, I do believe it would have been an excellent time to harken back to Mulder's fire fear.

Guest star of the week: As previously pointed out, it's definitely Sanderson, perhaps best known as the two Darryls' brother Larry on Newhart. He does standout work as the fired postal worker trying to fight off the forces inducing him to do harm. His screams of pain in the clock tower are harrowing. And since he's the only one of the killers who didn't commit "suicide by cop," we'll say job well done for Ed and particularly well done by William.

X-Files S2E2: The Host with the mostest

Sestra Amateur: 

I’m sorry to say we’re not talking about Lorne the Host from Joss Whedon’s series Angel; that character won’t exist for about six more years. This host is on a Russian cargo ship in the Atlantic Ocean, a tad east of New Jersey. It’s causing toilets to overflow, so of course, some hapless sailor gets sent to fix the plumbing problem. I wonder how you say “I’ll be right back” in Russian. The impromptu plumber gets grabbed by something reminiscent of the underwater creature from Leviathan ... and Deep Star Six ... and Endless Descent. 1989 was a bad year for sea creature horror movies. Too bad for this guy it wasn’t the luminous, well-meaning alien from The Abyss.

Meanwhile, back in D.C., Mulder is still pulling wiretap duty. Never piss off your superiors. Mulder’s eating his sunflower seeds and drinking his Shasa cola. That’s not a typo. They couldn’t get the rights to use the Shasta brand name? That’s pretty sad. Mulder finally gets liberated from wiretap purgatory to investigate a not-an-X-File case. 

Mulder and Newark Police Detective Norman head into the lovely, fragrant Jersey sewers to see the dead body. Mulder thinks he’s getting his chain yanked and has the foul-smelling corpse sent to FBI Headquarters, care of Assistant Director Skinner. Speaking of Skinner, I really hope the wardrobe department eventually dulls the reflection on his glasses because you can practically see what the TV show’s crew is wearing in the lenses. Mulder lets Skinner have it and continues down a path of career suicide. Scully agrees to autopsy the stinky sewer corpse because, well, that’s what Scully does. My XF trivia knowledge is improving -- the John Doe number is Chris Carter’s birthday, right, Sestra? So whose birth date is the case number 112148? During the procedure, a slimy tentacle reaches out from inside the corpse. Scully grabs it with tongs and gets into a tug of war with it. For a moment there, you think Scully is going to lose.

Back in beautiful downtown Newark, there’s no Prudential Center in sight. Hell, the thought of it probably doesn’t exist yet. A sewer worker gets bit by the creature, so we should probably just write him off. The doctor treating him thinks a tetanus shot and antibiotics will help. The worker tells Mulder he thinks a snake bit him. Scully calls Mulder to tell him about the parasite she found. How many of you have seen Parasite starring Demi Moore? It really is one of the most awful movies out there and not in a good-awful way. It’s essentially 85 minutes of WTH. ... But I digress. Mulder then takes a cryptic call from Deep Throat 2.0. He says Mulder has a friend at the FBI, then hangs up. Good, because someone’s going to have to start saving Mulder’s career again. But what kind of friend just hangs up without saying goodbye? Rude!

Scully introduces Mulder to the Turbellaria, which may finally swear me off rare steaks forever. This type of worm acts like a parasite, feeding off the organs. Mulder shows Scully a picture of bite marks on the sewer worker. They appear to be the same except for one pesky discrepancy -- they're supposed to be really tiny. The one that bit the sewer worker ain’t tiny. Scully says flatworms (or flukeworms) don’t go around attacking people, but since the sound of Scully’s voice changes because of looping technology, I’m not so inclined to believe her. (Yes, I’m manufacturing an excuse. No, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.) Meanwhile, things quickly go downhill for the sewer worker who coughs up a flatworm which goes down his shower drain.

At the Newark County Sewage Processing Plant (I don’t think there is such a place), an employee finds a flukeworm in the system but it’s more humanoid – and human-sized. Let’s call it Fluke Skywalker. Back in her office, someone slips a tabloid under Scully’s door. The sensationalistic rag contains an article about the Russian cargo ship incident. I actually took a moment to pause the episode and read the article. Looked like the writers really made an effort with that prop. I’m sure Special Correspondent George Lister is some type of inside joke. This show is just loaded with Easter eggs. So Scully links the stinky sewer corpse to the missing sailor through a tattoo. Wouldn’t it be funny if the anonymous tipster was giving Scully the magazine to relate it to a different case? Scully should use that issue as a reference all season, because there’s a chance more X-Files cases are addressed in there. Mulder calls Scully so she could see Fluke, who has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital in Middlesex County. Interesting detainer choice, Jersey.

The next morning Mulder meets with Skinner to discuss Fluke’s fate. I really wish they scripted the scene of Skinner and federal prosecutors talking about how to prosecute Fluke. Skinner begrudgingly admits this case should have been handled as an X-File. Meanwhile, Fluke is being transported by U.S. Marshals in an ambulance ... at night ... on a deserted road ... by only the driver. Freakin’ morons. It’s like the government wants Fluke to escape. Hmmmmm…

The marshal pulls off the road in front of a live bait shop. How apropos. Fluke finds his way to a portable toilet – yeah, won’t be using those anytime soon either. A truck arrives to empty the toilet and Fluke gets sucked out like Unger and Dunn in Airplane 2. An hour later, the truck passes Mulder at the ambulance crime scene. Mulder gets another cryptic call from his secret friend, who is even less helpful than the original Deep Throat.

Mulder goes back to the sewage processing plant hoping Fluke will return there. Scully warns Mulder that Fluke could multiply if it finds a new host. Another worker falls in and Fluke attacks him, so Mulder jumps in to help. Hope Mulder retires that suit because dry cleaning won’t save it. Mulder saves the worker, chases Fluke and cuts him in half. Now if this was Leviathan, that would just mean one monster became two. But we see the lower half sink. Hope they recover both parts and dispose of Fluke properly. By the way, what is the proper way to dispose of a human-sized flatworm?

Sculder meet later to discuss the case. Scully tells Mulder the parasite is still capable of spontaneous regeneration just like any flatworm, but she’s doing that weird looping voiceover thing again. Sestra, did you read anything about why they needed to keep dubbing parts of Scully’s dialogue for this ep? In the end, Scully blames science, not nature for the ... fluke. From her description, Fluke should be more like Godzilla. But Fluke Jr. (the coughed up flatworm) is apparently still out there. Or is it the one Mulder cut in half? Or, as usual, is it left open to interpretation?
 
Sestra Professional:

It really has to be some kind of Fluke that the guy in the costume for this episode -- Darin Morgan -- turned out to be my favorite television writer of all time. There was just no way of knowing that would come to pass, although when you hear the tale of how he sat down next to David Duchovny on an airplane and asked for an autograph, "To my arch nemesis," you could see the penchant for creativity. Much, much more on him to come. For now, he's stuck in what was purported to be spectacularly uncomfortable worm wear.

In the meantime, there are Easter eggs to be deciphered. You're correct about Chris Carter's birthday, 112148 is the birthday of his wife, Dori, and that was used a few times as dates and times during first-season episodes. I don't have anything specific on George Lister, but during the show's run, combinations of names were created, so maybe this was a variation on that theme. Sorry, even less intel on the looping.

I wouldn't want to step in anything: The creep factor is high on this episode. It does throw a little bit of fear into a person, although not quite in the same way The Carol Burnett Show once scarred me for life with a toilet shark. I don't remember being particularly more frightened by what was lingering in the waters when I was residing in Newark, although there's always been some kind of uneasiness about porta potties.

Awww, Mulder's first present for Skinner -- a mangled corpse drenched in raw sewage. Fox is pretty rusty if he can't recognize an X-File when he sees one, for he used to see X-Files in his breakfast eggs. Now he also has to be talked into solving a crime, sitting around taking notes of wiretaps has really taken a toll on this guy.

With Deep Throat gone, it's time for Mulder to have a new friend in the FBI, because someone's got to point Sculder in a direction when they don't have anything to go on. And that's not the only relationship on the up and up. The agents definitely get a glow about them -- not pregnancy-related -- while discussing fluke worms and how big they can get. Yeah, no subtext there. Mulder says the only reason he can find to stay is his relationship with Scully. She later counters with, "I would consider it more than a professional loss if you decide to leave." What it lacks in warmth, it makes up for with sincerity.

And let's break some new ground with Gillian Anderson's burgeoning belly. We've seen all kinds of ways of hiding pregnancy on the air -- flower pots and big purses and the like. Utilizing a gross corpse in an extended autopsy scene must have been a breakthrough in both science and entertainment at the time. 

I'd like to give some props to props, makeup and Matthew Bennett, who played the sanitation worker. When the fluke starts to take control, the poor sucker -- or should that be suckee -- empties the contents of a toothpaste tube in his mouth to get rid of the bad taste. That scene ends with a fluke worm emerging from his mouth and slipping down the drain -- the greatest gross-out on the show since Tooms' liver-eating bile in the first season. And according to The X-Files Episode Guide, credit also goes to Carter, since he not only wrote the ep, but fought with Fox -- the network, not the agent -- to get that scene aired.

It looks like I'm going to have to tell Skinner his suspect is a giant bloodsucking worm after all: There's a lot of information stuffed into the epilogue, about how man and not nature created that destructive worm with a "primordial soup of radioactive sewage." Chernobyl gets shoehorned in, although perhaps it's not as clunky as it might have been considering the use of a Russian ship earlier in the plot. And Mulder ponders: "Three species disappear every day, you wonder how many new ones are being created." A lot of information for the end of the show, but it's hard to complain about one that really had very little let-up from ominous start to perhaps-even-more-petrifying conclusion.

Guest star of the week: No, duh. It's Darin Morgan. In addition to getting much-needed paycheck at the time, playing this part on the show also gave the future writer/director insight into what it's like for the actors who get stuck in a costume on a set for hours and hours at a time.