Sestra Amateur:
We’re back in Monster-of-the-Week mode, which is preferred after the last intriguing-but-ultimately-icky episode. This MOW is about a chimera (pronounced "kai-mare-a," but I really want to say "chime-ra"). In Greek mythology, it’s a fire-breathing creature with a lion’s head, a goat’s body and a serpent’s tail. (I’m not sure if those are the best or worst parts of these animals to be fusing together.) It also has a non-specific definition of “imaginary monster.” But the non-mythological translation of chimera is that it’s an unobtainable dream. Being The X-Files, I’m expecting it to lean more toward the former than the latter.
It’s Easter time in Bethany, Vermont, where Martha Crittendon has planned the perfect celebration for the community. Her daughter, Michelle, seems to be finding all of the hidden Easter eggs. She wanders into the woods and gets startled by a raven and one of the other mothers, Jenny Uphouse. Michelle drops her basket and runs away. Later that night, after calling her husband, Howard, to tell him what happened, Martha finds the raven in their house and gets attacked by a horrible-looking creature. (See? The former.)
Sculder are conducting surveillance on a female serial killer in a seedy part of D.C. (insert political joke here) when Assistant Director Skinner reassigns Fox to the Crittendon case. Martha has been missing for two weeks and Walter wants Mulder on the case because of the raven factor. Howard’s position as a federal judge has made this a priority case for the F.B.I. The next morning, Mulder meets with Sheriff Phil Adderly, whose wife is friends with Martha. Fox notices how perfect the home looks. (OK, maybe it’s the latter after all.) He also sees four claw marks on the mantel and asks about the missing broken mirror in the living room. Howard thinks Martha is with a lover because he found a room key and birth control pills, even though he’d had a vasectomy.
Ellen Adderly is handing out missing person fliers when Jenny startles her. After Jenny leaves, Ellen sees a hideous reflection in a car window and the glass shatters. Later that night, the Adderlys arrange for Fox to stay in their home. At dinnertime, Ellen prepares the perfect meal. The Crittendons are having depressing mac and cheese when the raven returns. Actually it’s ravens now, plural, and they were kind enough to unearth Martha’s buried body in the backyard. (So none of the cops noticed a disturbed area of the yard over the past two weeks?!)
Ellen tells Mulder and her husband about the monster she saw earlier that day. The sheriff is a non-believer, but Fox explains that mirrors (and windows) are doorways which can be used to summon spirits. When asked who could have done the summoning, Ellen points them in Jenny’s direction. Ms. Uphouse denies any involvement, while dropping hints about Martha (and Phil’s) less-than-perfect lives. Meanwhile, Ellen is cleaning her living room and the sweeper sucks up a key similar to Martha’s. The raven appears on her child’s crib. Ellen bravely grabs the baby and runs as the creature appears and chases them, breaking mirrors along the way. (The former!) Luckily, Phil arrives home in time, but he thinks it’s all in Ellen’s head. The sheriff gets the key from Mulder and later uses it to unlock the door to a cabin where Jenny is waiting to have sex with him.
The next morning Ellen has made the perfect breakfast (the latter!) and even ironed Fox's shirt. They have a talk about the importance of family and relationships before Phil returns home from “work.” Mulder reveals Martha was four weeks pregnant but Sheriff Adderly isn’t naming names. (I’m still trying to figure out why a law enforcement officer is wearing a uniform that’s clearly missing its badge.) Back in the hotel room, the ravens pay a visit to Jenny. The mirrored ceiling crashes down on her as she gets attacked by the beast. (The former!)
Adderly and Fox respond to the scene, where the sheriff finally admits to affairs with both Jenny and Martha. The pig claims his wife trapped him into staying in a loveless marriage by getting pregnant. (I guess he wasn’t using condoms with anyone. Classy guy.) Of course, now that Phil could be considered a suspect, he’s on board with the supernatural aspect of the case. But poor Ellen realizes the wound on the back of her neck occurred when she fought the creature.
By the way, Scully solved the D.C. mystery. There was no serial killer, just a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” This convinces Mulder that Ellen is their killer, but she’s too afraid to see herself for what she really is. She/it attacks Fox and gives him a good thrashing before attempting to drown him. But Ellen defeats the monster inside and releases Mulder. She gets committed to a psychiatric facility and the doctors rationalize her condition as dissociative identity disorder, which is figuratively and literally true. Hope you’re happy, sheriff. Now go find your badge.
Sestra Professional:
This is one of those episodes I admittedly don't remember as well as most of them in the series. After reviewing it this week, I'm considering that a good thing.
During the original run, I never really got up in arms about the show moving from Vancouver to Hollywood. At the time, I just thought anything keeping the increasingly unhappy David Duchovny in the fold would be a good thing. But as we get deeper into Season 7, I'm starting to have a long-delayed adverse reaction to that change.
There's something ennobling in that: A Vancouver episode would never open with the idyllic Easter teaser we get in "Chimera." Even if the plotline was startingly similar, there would be something undercutting the whole thing. That was the atmosphere of Vancouver. And this show is a pretty good example of why I usually rank the Season 7 at the bottom of my favorite season list.
If you ask me, the stakeout about the alleged female serial killer is much more interesting than this raven business. Then again, if we're talking about round-the-clock exposure to a seamy underbelly, Fox's venture into the 'burbs seems to fit a similar bill. It's just shaded better in pastels.
What a crazy caper: This is a little too Peyton Place for me. I'd call it soap opera, but the daytime drama The Edge of Night utilized its Raven a heck of a lot better than The X-Files does here. Writer David Amann (with the assistance of staff writer Greg Walker, according to the official episode guide) utilizes every single thing he's ever heard about ravens in this story -- they're attracted to death and decay ... they are companions to evil. It's overkill, literally and figuratively.
I find that happens on occasion with Amann's scripts for the show, but at the same time, I appreciate his distinctive take on our genre. I'm one of a precious few who love "Agua Mala" (Season 6, Episode 13), but this year's "Rush" (S7E5) suffered from some of the same oversimplification that "Chimera" does. "Terms of Endearment" (S6E7) and next season's "Invocation" (S8E5) are underrated -- in my opinion -- and his final effort for the show, "Release," (S9E17) will be one of my favorites of Season 9.
There are just parts of the episode that teeter perilously on the edge of a proverbial cliff. The sheriff -- in addition to not knowing the whereabouts of his badge -- thinks his wife has imagined everything due to stress. Occasionally, he does make a salient point, like when he pointed out that Mulder thinks the broken mirrors have deeper meaning, but couldn't tell him exactly why. (Our expert profiler from the Vancouver years wouldn't have such a problem, isn't that textbook psycho for "can't bear to look at him or herself?")
In the midst of the sheriff's scum and villainy, we get one scene that serves to move our core story along. Mulder confesses (to evil's companion) that he doesn't have a significant other "in the widely understood definition of that term." It doesn't quite mean he doesn't have someone in his life, though. I thought it was a nice subtle way of making the point. And there wasn't a lot of that in this one.
Witness that the solution to Dana's surveillance helps Fox solve his case. I'm going to overlook that quick fix in favor of considering this another way of looking at Mulder's thought processes. The ability to draw the parallel makes Fox the special agent he really is. On the other talon, Mulder's lucky that he got through to Ellen on some level, because she really had him at a disadvantage in that bathtub. On the other other talon, again maybe I'm not giving Fox enough credit. The fact that he was able to reach her also means he saved his own life. He's truly a special special agent.
Metatarsals: Scully's not in the raven's share of this episode because Gillian Anderson was in preproduction for next week's "all things," which she wrote and directed. ... Sadly, this was the last screen credit for Gina Mastrogiacomo (Jenny Uphouse), who passed away from a rare bacterial heart infection the following year. ... It wasn't too difficult for Michelle Joyner (Ellen) to act as mom to the baby in her scenes. Katy was played by Joyner's real-life twin boys.
Guest star of the week: The cast doesn't get much to work with, on paper, all the characters seem to be cutout dolls. I'm giving the nod to Joyner, largely on the basis of the scene in which Ellen encourages Fox not to miss out on having a family. It's the only thing that hits home in this one. Does the fact that she's also the raven detract from that?
Sestra Amateur:
Google Translate interprets this week’s episode "En Ami" to mean "as friends." Considering the plot of this particular ep, that’s more than a little hard to fathom. After all, it’s against the laws of man and nature. It even sounds like "enemy" when you say it out loud. In Goochland, Virginia -- Yay! An East coast story! -- a married couple cares for their sick son in a way that causes people to protest outside their family home. Sometime during the night, the boy, Jason Peck, wakes to a Spielbergian scene outside his bedroom window. Are they poltergeists? Aliens? Government agents? On this show, anything is possible.
The next morning, Scully sees the miracle cure story in a newspaper, one to which she does not subscribe, on her doorstep. After receiving an anonymous tip, Mulder greets her with the same inspiring tale at their office. Dana is leaning toward spontaneous remission over miracle cure. She travels to the Peck home to interview the family. Jason describes his miracle angels as men who pinched him, then shows Scully the scar on the back of his neck.
Afterward, Dana encounters the Cigarette Smoking Man in her car. He claims he saved the boy with the same technology that cured Scully, left the newspaper for her and sent Fox the anonymous tip. Cancer Man claims he’s dying and wants to right some wrongs. He’ll pass the cure along to Dana provided she never tells Mulder about it. After giving it some thought, Scully traces CSM’s phone number to an office which employs the only competent security guard in X-Files history. Dana finds CGB Spender, who claims he is dying – no, not from cancer – but from complications caused by brain surgery. He says there are chips containing information for medical cures in a secure location and he needs a few days with her to get them. Scully agrees but leaves a message for Fox and puts on a wire before they go. Road trip! Driver picks the music!
Too bad there’s no music, but Dana wins one battle by getting Cancer Man not to smoke in her car. He reveals his affection for her and Fox, which, coming from him, sounds sinister. Meanwhile, Mulder goes to Scully's apartment and learns she left with CSM, who is playing dime-store shrink by analyzing Dana (somewhat accurately).
They arrive at the home of Marjorie Butters, an allegedly 118-year-old woman who CGB has saved. Marjorie has the expected scar on the back of her neck and is able to bring out CSM’s human side. Scully (with Cancer Man’s consent) calls Assistant Director Skinner directly to allay his (and Fox's) fears but still doesn’t reveal anything, at least not on the phone. During a gas station restroom break, Dana mails one of her audio tapes to Mulder while Cancer Man pumps the gas. Did I mention they’re being followed? An unknown man retrieves Scully’s letter from the mailbox. It was worth a shot, Dana.
Fox has the Lone Gunmen trying to locate Scully’s digital trail. They find deleted emails related to someone nicknamed Cobra. Mulder realizes someone hacked Dana’s computer and was pretending to be her while corresponding with Cobra. They bring the information to Skinner and claim it was CSM. It’s late when Cancer Man and a sleeping Scully arrive at their destination in Pennsylvania. He carries her into the house and changes her clothes, but luckily it’s all done off screen. The cringe factor is already pretty high without having visuals.
CGB claims they’ll be meeting their contact for dinner and gives Dana a dress that will not allow her to easily conceal a wire. Scully’s presence is supposed to assure Cobra that his extraterrestrial cure -- one that cures all human disease -- will end up in the right hands. CSM’s revelation and claim of redemption borders on cheesy pickup line and the ick factor still dominates the episode. Cancer Man steps outside and meets with his lackey, the one who’d been following them, to make sure he continues to do his job. At the same time, Dana receives a cryptic note with their next location.
The next morning, CSM sends Scully alone to meet with Cobra in the middle of a lake. He hands her the disk then promptly gets assassinated by CGB's lackey. Cancer Man then saves Dana's life by killing his own employee. She returns to the dock and stupidly hands CSM the disk. He appears to give it back to her and she finally gets the hell out of there.
The Lone Gunmen analyze the disk in Fox's apartment, and of course, it’s blank. CSM covered all of his tracks and Scully finally realizes she’s been had. Even Mulder seems disappointed in her for believing CGB's tale. But in the end, Cancer Man doesn’t use the cure to save himself or decide who lives and dies. He destroys the disk, which makes it seem like nothing was accomplished, except the elaborate assassination of an anonymous scientist. That and Dana's memory of a music-less road trip with her "enemy."
Sestra Professional:
Once upon a time ... meaning before the revival's finale ... "En Ami" was one of the best episodes of Season 7 for moi. After "My Struggle IV," it's kind of difficult to see it as much more than gross. "Ick, ick, icky ick!" is the way Sestra Am put it when submitting her portion of the festivities. I'm going to try my hardest to review this one on its own merits, though.
This episode was the brainchild of William B. Davis. Those in the fandom who have watched even one panel with Davis on it at a pop-culture convention will recall that he considers the Cigarette-Smoking Man to be the hero of The X-Files. So using that particular mind-set -- one probably not shared by legions of viewers -- he crafted a quiet personal story between CGB Spender and Dana Scully. Davis and, by extension, Cancer Man -- the show kinda stopped using that particular derogatory name, hasn't it? -- deigned to have the practical doctor understand him a little bit better. He probably didn't mind so much that Scully's easy on the eyes either. (Uh oh, I'm veering into ick territory.)
I just gotta know whether it's Roma Downey or Della Reese: So first ol' CGB has to get her away from his son/sworn enemy. Yep, claiming there's technology that will eliminate cancer, and in fact, all disease is the way to do it. First, she sees the little boy who was instantaneously cured and the familiar mark on the back of his neck is enough to get her involved in more than just an investigative way. It's not that Dana didn't realize she's doing a deal with the devil, she knows he has access to a treatment and wants to see how it plays out.
Being the shrewd operator he is, CSM claims 1. he's dying and 2. he will rescind offer if she contacts Mulder. He acts like he has some semblance of conscience by admitting that most of what he built is in ruins and he has no real legacy. There's no reason for Scully to believe a word he's saying, but as a human being, she's got to at least hope some of it's true. For his part, you can fathom that she's someone CGB really would like to have in his inner circle.
It's time I quit: The scenes between Davis and Anderson are powerful, they know their characters so well that their slightest reactions to what the other is saying feel genuine to what they've created over lo these many years. When he says he has always had a particular affection for her, it does ring true, especially when he references saving her life in "Redux II" (Season 5, Episode 2). He brings up an interesting point. He did hold her life in his hands, and one can almost visualize what that sensation might feel like to someone who enjoys wielding that kind of power. Critical to buying into this concept is his statement that no sacrifice is purely altruistic. He'll always have an ulterior motive.
Try as I might, it's impossible to get past the scene of Dana waking up in the hotel room and finding out that she's been undressed. That always had a repellent quality. Even the idea of him buying her a killer dress is rather gross. Now I'm thinking about him deciding between different options before settling on the one that really is absolutely perfect for her. It's very Pretty Woman.
Since CGB wasn't in "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" (S6E6), he doesn't know that his attempt at pop psychology is crap, for however much he is correct about her. But I agreed with something along the lines of what he states outright -- Scully would die for Mulder but wouldn't allow herself to love him. I kind of think that's how show creator Chris Carter played it. That might change in the near future, but it does hold water at this point.
CSM plays two cards a lot in this episode -- the death card and "this must be why you became a doctor." When he offers her a Life Saver, it's more than just a cigarette replacement, it's a clear sign that he's one of those guys who has to remind a person that at some point he was of assistance.
Where this dude works even shadows have shadows: There's not much for Fox to do except fret over Dana. There's something to be gained from him knowing something is up even when she's claiming that she's fine. They really should have some kind of secret code that would confirm that for him.
The secret of success to the perfectly executed con is the fact that Cancer Man's motives have never been black or white. There's grey all over this one. He does want to have Scully's approval on some level, something he could never have. But he has one mission objective and it is decidedly not to give Dana the cure for all human disease. He gets the extra benefit of casting some doubt in Mulder's eyes. It shouldn't be overlooked that, yes, CSM saves Scully's life once again. And what, he didn't even quit smoking? Sheesh. What a liar.
Meta murphies: This marked Rob Bowman's last episode for the show. The director with the second-most credits on the show after Kim Manners, Bowman was essential to creating the look and feel of the show and even was tasked with bringing that to the big screen for the show's first feature film. ... In the official episode guide, Davis admitted there was a lot of William Shakespeare's Richard III in the proceedings. But most of all, he wanted more to do with Anderson. "I've always said, if they're not going to give me one scene with Gillian, I'll just have to write one myself," he said in the guide.
Guest star of the week: Veteran actress Louise Latham, who many will remember from the original version of The Philadelphia Experiment. There is something very engaging about 118-year-old Marjorie Butters. So don't feel too bad, Dana, I bought her message as well, thanks to Latham.
Sestra Amateur:
X-file-worthy cases in 2000 remain confined to the state of California. In Marin County, the family of Dr. Robert Wieder are celebrating his Physician of the Year award. Unfortunately, his good fortune takes a nasty turn. Father-in-law Irving Thalbro finds what looks like a gingerbread man made of dirt in his bed while a creepy guy sneaks up behind him. Robert later finds Irving hanged to death, the word “theef” written in blood on the wall. Hope the killer didn’t mean “thief.” It’s always awkward when you spell a word wrong and can’t undo it.
Sculder arrive to the crime scene where Fox shows Dana the “hexcraft” dirt in Irving’s bed. Seventy miles away in a Foster City boarding house, the landlord speaks with resident Orel Peattie, who is making medicine inside his apartment. He's also making voodoo dolls. (Peattie's played by Billy Drago, I know him best as troublemaker Barbas on Charmed). Post-autopsy, Scully finds evidence of kuru – a neurodegenerative disease -- in Thalbro’s system and concludes he killed himself. (Fun fact: To prevent kuru, Wikipedia suggests avoiding cannibalism.) Mulder sticks with his murder theory, believing the illness was inflicted upon Irving.
Back inside the Wieder house, Orel steals a family photograph. Not surprisingly, Nan Wieder doesn’t want to stay in a house where her father died horribly, but Robert vetoes her. They’re about to go to bed when Robert finds a hexcraft in their bed and Nan gets felled by a disease more commonly found in Africa than California. In a San Francisco hospital, Fox has trouble convincing Robert voodoo is real. Wieder reviews his wife’s X-rays and finds the word “theef.” Peattie confronts Wieder, who doesn’t know his tormenter. Robert conducts his own investigation to locate a woman named Lynette Peattie. Inside a Jane Doe patient file he finds an embroidered bracelet that reads “flax-hair lamb theef of mans heart.”
Orel is making another hexbag at home when his landlord asks for more medicine. Seems like she’s becoming a believer. Mulder remains one as he and Scully visit an alternative medicine proprietor. She claims the dirt is “goofer dust” and is spread near victims to “direct misfortune.” Several items, including a photo of the victim, are placed inside a “poppet” which Scully succinctly calls a voodoo doll. Their source also reveals the user may be “charmed” by drawing his power from a literal charm. So, take the charm and Peattie loses power.
In the hospital, Orel's first use of a microwave to make popcorn mirrors Nan’s use of radiation to treat her disease, mainly because her poppet is in the microwave. Now poor Nan is toast. Robert has become a believer, especially since “theef” was branded into his wife’s chest. The next day, Wieder tells Sculder about an emergency-room Jane Doe, who was a victim of a bus rollover accident the previous year. Because she was dying and in pain, Robert put her out of her misery with morphine. Fox deduces Lynette Peattie was Orel’s daughter because Peattie’s revenge is to take away Wieder’s family.
Scully’s research shows Lynette came from West Virginia, supporting Mulder’s original theory about their suspect. Fox wants to exhume Jane Doe’s body and move it to Quantico, but Peattie beat them to it. So that’s what the landlord smelled inside Orel’s apartment. Too bad Peattie catches her inside and infects her with the flesh-eating virus. Mulder sees the related news report and now knows where Orel Peattie has been hiding. He finds most of Lynette’s body and calls Dana to warn her.
Scully is protecting Robert and Lucy Wieder in a remote cabin. Orel, whose charm is his daughter’s head, is watching from outside. Peattie burglarizes their car and gets what he needs for the next poppet -- a strand of Dana's hair. He blinds her by putting nails in the poppet’s eyes. (Why don’t our heroes ever call local FBI agents for assistance? A couple of patrol deputies would have been very useful.) Orel breaks into the cabin, disarms Scully and taunts Robert. Peattie believes he could have saved Lynette if he got to her before Wieder “eased her suffering.” But Orel's poppet has Robert’s name on it, not Lucy’s. He stabs it and Wieder feels the pain. Fox arrives and finds Scully’s blinded poppet. He removes the nails, which allows Dana to shoot Peattie before he kills Wieder. Later at the hospital, Dana reveals how cases like this one question her medical judgment calls and show how she’s changed over the years. Maybe she is starting to believe.
Sestra Professional:
The idea of voodoo hasn't been one of The X-Files bigger strengths over the course of the series, witness "Fresh Bones" (Season 2, Episode 15), for example. So it might not be the biggest of compliments to say "Theef" is the best of those offerings to date. But it is.
Insert your own Dan Quayle joke here: It's good to get back to a creepy episode, we haven't had a lot of them since leaving Vancouver at the end of Season 5. It used to be a hallmark of the show before conspiracy theories and alien ships took over the horizon. The drawback is that because we've spend so much time with the mythology and The X-Files lite humor episodes, it's difficult to feel truly bugged out. I kind of wish we happened upon this one in the latter stages of Season 2.
"Theef" was scripted by our favorite three-headed writing team -- Vince Gilligan, John Shiban and Frank Spotnitz. And that's why we get a quick look at a newsman named John Gillnitz, reporting on the "outbreak" of flesh-eating disease. Because we have our show veterans in the fold, time is made for debates about science vs. the supernatural. (I kind of wish Gregory House could have a shot at this case, though.)
But we also get a couple things that we don't see in bottle episodes not penned by the unusual suspects, including some definite opinions about class systems -- the haves against the have-nots. And more importantly, there's a chance for one of our leads to grow.
"Theef" gives us some reverse Norman Bates action. Peattie took his daughter's body and he's using it as the source of his power. That's kind of how it worked in Psycho, if not to such a mythical degree. I appreciate the homage.
The ep falls apart a bit in the final act with those kind of circumstances we just have to grin and bear as viewers of a regular TV series. Our leads are separated and the bad guy has no trouble tracking the team to a remote cabin. For someone who couldn't figure out how to get microwave popcorn out of a vending machine and heat it up, Orel certainly accomplishes a lot in a short span of time.
You do keep me guessing: But I'm not willing to give up on "Theef" entirely. It's striking to watch Gillian Anderson rock the scene in which Dana is blinded, and the final moment's even cooler. Scully's wondering what could have happened if Peattie was able to get to his daughter before she died, even before Mulder can voice his usual sentiment in that regard. It's probably a litmus test for us as viewers to hypothesize whether Orel could have saved her or not.
Metaphysical meta: If Orel looks familiar to viewers, it's because Billy Drago followed his son, Darren Burrows, onto the show. Burrows was the troubled bank robber Bernard in "Monday" (S6), coincidentally penned by Gilligan and Shiban. ... This is the second straight episode honored by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences as The X-Files took home an Emmy for makeup. The production team also won awards for visual effects and sound mixing for "First Person Shooter."
Guest star of the week: Drago's Peattie comes off as rather corn-pone, so it's not difficult to side with the doc. Still, all due credit to 24 veteran James Morrison, a mainstay on Space: Above and Beyond, the short-lived series by X-Files writing team extraordinaire Glen Morgan and James Wong.
Sestra Amateur:
No seasons-long storyline this week, no comic relief, just standard bottle-episode fare. Three 20-something guys are playing soldier in a live video game resembling laser tag. “Retro” -- the leader of this platoon -- calls for them to shoot the enemies approaching them on crotch rockets. It looks like live ammo until they hit the targets, which disappear after the “kill.” Next, they shoot Nazis, who take out one player in a slimy, neon yellow mess. But Retro moves onward and encounters the stunning Maitreya, played by Krista Allen. He bows to her, she shoots him. This scene is rated M for Mature.
Sculder arrive at the FPS (First Person Shooter) Corporate Offices in Inland Empire, California. (Darn, now I want to watch the David Lynch movie, Inland Empire. I’m easily suggestible.) The security guard scans their IDs and retinas before they can enter. After that, they’re quickly joined by the company's consultants, the Lone Gunmen(?!)
The trio brings the agents to the game’s creator, Ivan, and coworker Phoebe, who are standing over Retro’s dead-in-reality body. (So that guy has been rotting on the floor for however many hours it took for the staff to contact the Gunmen, who then contacted Mulder, who arranged for him and Scully to fly across the country to investigate? This California relocation is really wreaking havoc with the suspension of disbelief on a show in which you’re supposed to believe anything is possible.)
Phoebe tries to explain how Retro was in “non-combat space.” Tweaking the video replay reveals Maitreya. Phoebe doesn’t look surprised but no one else notices. That’s probably the story of her life. By the time Fox brings a picture of the killer to Dana, local Detective Lacouer and crime-scene techs are leaving. But have no fear, Darryl Musashi, the “boy wonder of virtual mayhem,” is here. Mulder and the Lone Gunmen geek out while Darryl searches for Maitreya in the virtual world. Maitreya, dressed as a ninja, disarms him quickly and literally. She says something in Japanese before beheading Darryl. This scene is rated O for Ouch!
Scully conducts Retro’s autopsy. If the agents had to scan IDs and retinas to enter the FPS building, wouldn’t the company have all Retro’s information on file? They certainly wouldn’t let an anonymous person test a groundbreaking game one week before release. Dana is clearly frustrated with the progress of her autopsy. Mulder arrives so he and Scully can voice their opposing viewpoints about violent games in today’s society. Fox has a surprise for Dana: Darryl’s severed head. (Normal men bring flowers.) But local police have a surprise for Sculder -- the female suspect is in custody. Scully interviews Jade Blue Afterglow, who claims she was paid to have her body image scanned. After a Basic Instinct homage, she is released from custody. This scene is rated I for Immature.
Sculder return to FPS where they find Phoebe asleep and the Gunmen trapped in the game. Mulder suits up to save them ... and because he has an urge to blow up stuff. He chases down the assassin. The Lone Gunmen try to assist but end up leaving the game. While the others try to find out where the game and Fox went, Mulder shoots at a hyper-gymnastic Maitreya. Hey Fox, why don’t you try talking to her? That’s what Dana does with Phoebe, who reveals she created Maitreya from Jade Blue’s image while creating her own video game.
Mulder is getting his butt kicked as the team tries to figure out how to regain control of the game. He grabs a sword and progresses to Level 2. Welcome to Westworld, Fox. He’s outnumbered by multiple Maitreyas, but Scully arrives to save Mulder's skin. She does so with a seemingly unlimited supply of ammunition. Unfortunately, there’s an unlimited supply of Maitreyas. Phoebe and Ivan fight over destroying the game to save Sculder. Phoebe gives the command and our heroes are saved. I don’t know why Fox acts so victorious, Dana did all of the heavy lifting here. And it shows, thanks to Cyber Scully’s new digital design. It helped me tune out Mulder’s extraordinarily unnecessary end-of-episode narration. This voice-over is rated G for Give it a rest, Mulder.
Sestra Professional:
We go from one of the better examples of fitting The X-Files into a pop-culture universe within a pop-culture universe to one of the worst examples of the same.
Visually, I suppose the idea of visualizing a videogame on broadcast television had merit. But let's face it, this episode exists to suit Mulder and Scully up in buff outfits so they can blast some stuff. It's already not my thing, I'd rather watch the much-maligned "Space" (Season 1, Episode 9) and geek out over NASA than virtual reality. Even Byers' claim that the game is the launchpad of a rocket headed to the stars doesn't appeal to my "space cadet" nature.
"First Person Shooter" was written by William Gibson and Tom Maddox. The driving force behind the cyberpunk genre seemed to have leveled up to another shot at an X-Files script by besting Stephen King in a one-on-one fifth-season battle for least worst attempt at writing the show. His "Kill Switch" -- the 11th episode that year -- was slightly less onerous than the horror master's "Chinga" the previous week.
It's all about body count: The teaser quickly shows the weakness of the concept. Dialogue about bloodthirst and carnage come up very short, initiate massive eye rolling. When the agents arrive on the scene, Dana denegrades the proceedings as immature, hormonal fantasy. And while it was cool to have the Lone Gunmen back in the mix, watching the trio and Mulder prove Scully's point doesn't rack up any respect points (and would take them away if they actually existed). How many viewers cringed like Dana (and me) at the very idea of bleeding-edge technology?
The tone of the episode bounces wildly back and forth between comedy -- "I'll put out an APB for Frederick's of Hollywood -- and gruesomeness. It's not helped (as it usually is) by Mark Snow's exhaustive score. We're watching people get viciously slaughtered -- kinda. But at the same time, all the men are acting like they just hit puberty. Mulder's pretty flip about it all, just minutes after he witnessed the death of an idol. And then there's the police station, chock full of cops behaving like adolescents drooling over the real-life incarnation of Maitreya.
As Sestra Am mentioned, Sculder engage one of those now-time-honored debates about whether violence in games begets violence in the real world. Scully wonders aloud why such amazing technology is being wasted, finding no redeeming value in it whatsoever. Fox considers it an outlet for certain impulses. They don't reach any kind of understanding or offer us any new and/or interesting insight on that front.
The episode loses another turn for Phoebe's clunky complaint about Dana not understanding what it's like "choking in a haze of rampant testosterone." Yeah, she couldn't possibly understand what that's like as a special agent at the FBI.
And then we get to the big finale. Mulder and Scully are in the game shooting multiple Maitreyas. They -- and the Lone Gunmen before them -- get lightly winged, but none of our regulars suffer the decapitation and horrible deaths of the expert players before them. Fox decries multiple versions of the assassin as cheating. And Dana may be "in the zone" -- activate the stilted dialogue module -- but ultimately, our heroes don't beat the game. They just get saved after the most dopey of discussions over a keyboard and the use of a kill code. Suspense level: Zero.
That's entertainment ... not!! Game over, I don't want to put another token into this particular machine. Even the satisfaction of completing a full rewatch isn't worth it. But credit where credit is due, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences was impressed enough to award the show Emmys for Outstanding Sound Mixing and Special Video Effects for this episode.
Guest star of the week: Krista Allen makes for a pretty dazzling femme fatale (in all her forms) as well as the sassy real-life counterpart whose idea of gaming leans more toward adult fare -- cosplaying Sharon Stone. Yeah, she's got game.
Sestra Amateur:
Do you like The X-Files? Do you like Cops? Do you like FOX TV circa 2000? If so, then "X-Cops" is the show for you! This week, FBI Special Agents Mulder and Scully are on location in Los Angeles with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects, even supernatural ones, are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
Rookie Deputy Keith Wetzel tries to sound like a veteran while waxing nostalgic about the effect of full moons on night patrol shifts, but he likes to use the word "irregardless," so I’ve lost interest. He and the Cops camera crew respond to a monster call, but the deputy is thinking drug addict or burglar. He finds huge claw marks on the complainant’s front door, so it’s either a monster or Freddy Krueger.
Deputy Wetzel searches the backyard, panics and bolts with the camera crew back to his patrol car. Unfortunately, the unseen monster attacks the car, preventing their getaway. His backup arrives, led by Sergeant Duthie, but the deputy claims it was “gangbangers.” The entire squad chases down armed subjects, but it’s just Sculder. Fox tries to interview Wetzel, but he’s now reluctant to talk on camera. Mulder makes it easier for him and mentions a werewolf-like creature seen during a previous full moon. And it turns out, poor Deputy Wetzel has a bite on his wrist. Do you know how much paperwork he and his sergeant have to do now?
Meanwhile, Scully tries to convince Fox not to be so open about their types of investigations with the camera running. He’s titillated by the possibility of catching a werewolf on camera to validate his beliefs. Mulder shows Duthie the werewolf sketch from the previous victim, but this victim describes Freddy. (I was right!) Dana tells Fox that Deputy Wetzel was not bitten by a werewolf, it’s just a bunch of bug bites. Deputies get another call and the agents follow the cops to a clawed dead body. It’s the sketch artist who had just left the victim’s house.
Sculder and Duthie interview witnesses Steve and Edy, but the sketches from the previous attacks aren’t helpful. The fingernail Scully finds at the crime scene gets quickly identified as belonging to Chantara the streetwalker. The duo and a camera crew locate Chantara, who blames her pimp boyfriend Chuco for the murder and is terrified he will break her neck. The cops and the agents raid Chuco’s crackhouse, where they find his long dead body. Now that’s a great alibi. Everyone runs outside when Deputy Wetzel starts shooting at something. Too bad that something broke Chantara’s neck first.
One deputy finds evidence that Wetzel may have shot the creature. Keith finally admits he thought he saw “The Wasp Man.” (That explains his bug bites.) So this creature is able to become a person’s worst nightmare. Maybe they’re looking for the Batman villain Scarecrow, whose modus operandi is to feed on everyone’s fears. Sculder return to witnesses Steve and Edy, who are in the middle of a domestic dispute, not an attack. Our intrepid heroes split up to follow different leads. Surprisingly, Scully lets the cameraman tag along for Chantara’s autopsy, probably because Assistant Director Skinner told her the FBI has nothing to hide, off camera. The coroner’s assistant already heard way too much about the investigation and is concerned about contagion. She would fit in very well in today’s reality. Of course, her fear of the hantavirus causes her to die of the hantavirus. Dana was spared because she wasn’t afraid.
Deputy Wetzel is trying to be a brave little soldier, but he apparently doesn’t feel safe with just the camera crew and they get attacked again in the crackhouse. (How did law enforcement manage to clear, search, process, inventory and seal the crime scene in only couple of hours? I’ll believe in the fear contagion before I’ll believe that!) Sgt. Duthie -- who, by now, should have relinquished command to a higher ranking officer -- and her deputies try to enter through the locked front door. Mulder and Scully go around the back and gain entry. They find the camera crew alive and well. (I wonder what kind of hazard pay the Cops camera crew gets. This particular show, it doesn’t seem like enough.) Dana keeps them safe and hidden. Wetzel is alive but bleeding. Did he defeat the creature by being courageous? It sure didn’t sound like it. Regardless of his own beliefs, the sun began to rise, so he’ll have to revisit his fear during the next full moon. I’ll bet he switches to the day shift by then.
Sestra Professional:
Bad claws, bad claws, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? After the wrapup of the Samantha mythology 7 1/2 years in the making last week, we definitely could use something a little lighter. Enter Vince Gilligan with a concept he had been trying to turn into reality -- at least The X-Files' version of such -- for many years. Hence the mashup "X-Cops."
Creator Chris Carter's concern, according to The Complete X-Files, was that such an effort would be "too goofy." The show needed to play the episode exactly like an installment of the fellow FOX show. And so it did. With Cops co-creator John Langley consulting, Gilligan was invited on an actual shoot to get the rhythm of the show. It looked so much like the original that FOX decided a notification was needed at the beginning so viewers understood The X-Files wasn't being pre-empted.
Can I see your badge again? "X-Cops" also feels very reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project, the small-budget film that did big box office the previous summer. Not just in terms of the hand-held cameras either, the idea that the evil remains unseen and we never get a true look at what Mulder, Scully, the cops and the camera crew are after. Our protagonists even hear strange noises while stomping around an old house at the end.
With all that going on, we might have expected our leads to fall by the wayside in an episode that might have seemed gimmicky, particularly during a season in which the bottle shows haven't done much to advance our story. Luckily, it doesn't play out that way.
That's why they pay us the big bucks: Mulder really gets into the idea of having a camera crew trail his every move while documenting his ideas -- particularly since he's so far ahead of the curve than anyone else -- for an international audience. It's your basic feast for David Duchovny, he plays to the Cops camera with perfect precision. There's not a more perfect moment than when Fox tells Dana, "I don't think it's live television, she just said [bleeped out]." One would think Mulder had been on the actual Cops for years, the way he can conversationally lay out details of the case while driving or walking. Maybe Fox was a closet viewer, when not indulging his various other television predilections.
Contrast that with Scully, who probably doesn't want to be investigating the case anyway, let alone with cameramen following in her wake. Gillian Anderson matches Duchovny beat for beat with her comic timing. Early on, Dana just turns away from the camera in shame -- I'm not entirely sure whether that's because she's being filmed or because she's investigating a monster. But Anderson really excels as the episode rolls to its conclusion. Girlfriend can perform an autopsy and point out out that the FBI has nothing to hide at the same time. And her "I hate you guys" upon finding the Cops crew cowering in the closet is priceless.
Meta monsters: The crossover episode was filmed on videotape by director Michael Watkins, who even worked the camera at times. Having had an ongoing relationship with Los Angeles law enforcement, he called in a few favors -- including use of real sheriff's deputies as extras, according to the official episode guide. ... The average number of edits in an X-Files ep ranged from 800 to 1,200. The total in the first cut of this one was a mere 45, the episode guide stated. ... Cops cameraman Daniel Emmett and sound man John Michael Vaughn played themselves and an editor from the show was tapped to create the trademark blur over the faces of innocent bystanders, according to the guide.
Guest star of the week: Dee Freeman was an arresting presence as Sgt. Duthie, pun intended. She sounds as disbelieving as Dana, and she's also got a vocabulary reminiscent of Detective Manners in "Jose Chung's From Outer Space" (Season 3, Episode 20). But most of all, she brings some grit to an episode besieged by such flamboyant characters as Steve and Edy and a hooker whose pink hair matches her fingernails.
Sestra Amateur:
Maybe it’s wise not to overanalyze Chris Carter or Frank Spotnitz’s thinking processes, but the curiosity is still there. We’re finishing up a two-parter here and last week’s episode had a German title, so why not do the same thing this week? Is it because "Closure" doesn’t accurately translate with the American alphabet? (SchlieBung isn’t correct because the "B" is really an eszett or "sharp S" sound. Funny how my smart phone probably has the right character but my computer keyboard does not.) And since it doesn’t accurately translate, did Carnitz think fans would not understand the closure of this long-running storyline? Makes me wonder.
So last week, Assistant Director Skinner chased their suspected kidnapper into a cemetery loaded with unmarked graves. This week, while we watch the feds dig up the dead children, we must listen to Mulder’s voiceover. The scene would have been more powerful with just the visual sights and Mark Snow’s haunting score, especially when we see the children’s souls gathering in a circle at nighttime. But I’ll try to “believe to understand” so I can reach the end of this story arc.
Scully reveals to Mulder that Ed Truelove admitted (off camera) to 24 murders, but denied taking Amber Lynn LaPierre. Dana doesn’t reveal whether Truelove confessed to taking Samantha Mulder, as Fox searches through decades-old reel-to-reel tapes hoping to find a connection. She had to have asked the killer that question, hoping for some type of response. But I guess if we get that answer now then what would we watch for the next 39 minutes? Police psychic Harold Piller, played by the entertaining Anthony Heald, arrives to help Sculder with their investigation. Scully quickly writes him off, but Harold’s timely explanation of the phrase "walk-ins" catches Mulder’s attention. I’m surprised Dana is so easily willing to return to D.C. and give up on little Amber Lynn, who is still an active missing child! Hopefully the FBI’s Behavioral Unit keeps looking for her.
Fox takes Piller to the burial site where Harold explains how matter transforms to starlight. Poor Piller claims he can feel how the murdered victims suffered before they died. Harold senses a connection between Amber Lynn and Mulder’s sister, and once again, Fox has hope. Scully meets with Agent Schoniger to watch video footage of Mulder’s hypnosis session dated June 16, 1989. (I’ll bet you didn’t know Schoniger means "more gentle" in German. Yep, still have the Google Translate page open.) He notes that Fox didn’t first regress until 16 years after Samantha’s disappearance, which gave Mulder time to incorporate alien abduction into his own beliefs. Schoniger believes Samantha is dead because a huge government effort (including the Treasury Department, for some reason) failed to locate her during the original investigation. Dana is right about one thing: Fox deserves closure. We all do at this point.
Mulder is hearing timely words of wisdom from the original Planet of the Apes movie when Piller arrives with a "visitor" -- Fox's mother. (Good thing she/they didn’t arrive during one of Mulder’s adult movie times.) Fox doubts Harold’s ability, but we can see Teena Mulder in the background trying to say something. Fox absentmindedly writes "April Base" and now we know how Billie LaPierre and Kathy Lee Tencate wrote their notes in the previous episode.
Scully lockpicks her way into Teena’s house and finds an original torn document in the scorched garbage can. Dana calls Mulder to tell him about the Treasury Department investigation and the initials of the person who closed Samantha’s investigation -- C.G.B.S., the Cigarette Smoking Man. Fox is convinced that’s a dead end and hangs up on her. Mulder and Piller arrive at the decommissioned April Air Force Base, but there is still a security guard on base. Scully arrives home and encounters Cancer Man in her living room. She tells him to put out his cigarette. He tells her to stop looking because Samantha is dead. Neither listens to the other. Fox and Harold sneak onto the base and search an abandoned neighborhood. They stumble across cement palm-print memories of Samantha ... and Jeffrey Spender. (Why would Cancer Man let her keep her first name if there was such a huge investigation? He should have changed it to ... Paige!)
The next day, the agents compare notes in California. Fox does a poor job explaining everything he learned. One disposable camera would have gone a long way; it would have shown what he and Harold saw at the base. It would have shown the size of Samantha’s hands (Mulder's acting like she put them there last week, but it would have been decades earlier). Cancer Man never said Samantha died the day she was taken, Fox. Sculder confront Piller, who Dana learned is under investigation for killing his own son. How tormenting must it be to get answers for other people’s loved ones, but not your own?
Sculder and Piller go to the base where Harold tries to reach the spirits. They end up with a roomful and one little boy leads Mulder away. The next morning, Fox finds his sister’s hidden diary from 1979 and one passage explains that she decided to run away. He still doesn’t know what his mother was trying to tell him, but luckily, Teena talks to Mulder that night while he sleeps.
The next morning, Scully finds a California Highway Patrol police report from Oct. 23, 1979 involving a 14-year-old runaway girl. Dana and Harold talk to the nurse who signed her in, Arbutus Ray. She tells a similar story of seeing a vision of the girl dead, even though she was sleeping peacefully. CSM and his men came to take her away, but the girl had vanished. While Scully learns this, Fox is led by the spirit boy (Harold’s son) to a circle of spirit children in the nearby woods. He sees Amber Lynn and Samantha, who apparently can recognize him even though he’s 27 years older than she remembers. Mulder finally has his closure, but unfortunately he couldn’t convince Piller his son was there. Fox certainly hasn’t convinced me those children are in a "better place." But if it means I can wipe my hands of one of the most convoluted, inconsistent storylines in TV history then ich bin dabei (count me in).
Sestra Professional:
So we've literally (and figuratively) come to the end of the road with the Samantha storyline. While it may not have been the ending we wanted and have been picturing lo these many years, Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz were banking on it being the one we needed. The way David Duchovny sells it, I buy it too.
I guess I just want it to be over: "Closure" starts with an overblown voiceover so we know it's important to The X-Files mythology. In the sixth season, the show dispatched The Syndicate mid-year, and in the seventh, the powers-that-be decided to do likewise with Samantha.
There are a lot of parallels to be drawn between Fox Mulder and Harold Piller. The latter is a psychic who often works with the police. He seems to be so good at delineating things but can not see what's right in front of his face. Sounds a lot like someone we all know, right?
In the conclusion of the two-parter, Carter and Spotnitz double-down on a line of thinking that we all really would like to believe is true -- that children who die before their time aren't shackled by pain for all eternity, they turn into starlight. It's the way they come to terms with the "fate too cruel even for God to allow."
Taking the pin out of our discussion from last week's "Sein und Zeit," now we're getting a closer look at everything we know about Mulder's quest to this point. He wasn't regressed until 1989 -- when his hair was really bad -- and by then, his guilt and his fear about Samantha's abduction had overwhelmed him. According to Agent "More Gentle," that was compounded by the Close Encounters of the Third Kind/E.T. effect and his finding of the X-files.
She was here, she had a message: There's much to be gleaned from the scene in which Harold visits Fox to tell him that his mother is near. In an oh-so-subtle way, it harkens back to Scully's moment with her late father all the way back in "Beyond the Sea" (Season 1, Episode 13). Mulder gets his message because Harold was there to help him receive it. Dana might have done likewise in similar circumstances.
Fox is a bit off the rails in this episode, an appropriate state considering where he was at the end of the previous one. That leaves Scully to deal with ol' CBG Spender. She thinks she's on to something in regards to him calling off the hunt for Sam in 1973, but for once, he actually is telling the truth. The Cigarette Smoking Man explains why it was OK to not tell Mulder the truth for seven years, but it is now: "There was so much to protect before. But it's all gone now."
In an episode of fine touches, another one is the sight of Samantha's hand prints right above Jeffrey Spender's. Yes, she was abducted, but she was returned -- and not to her own family. She went to CBG's family and was raised with CSM's other kid. That doesn't negate all the adult Samanthas we've seen over the course of the labyrinthine journey. All the Megan Leitch variants were grown-up versions of Sam. But the real one -- apparently subjected to more invasive tests than can be imagined -- never reached her 15th birthday.
Mulder should really get where Harold is coming from. The psychic has been discredited to the point that Scully doesn't believe what he's telling her partner -- she has paperwork that says otherwise. But Piller is resolute. He doesn't know how he sees the things he does, but he thinks it's so he can help. What a fine and sad touch that in the end, we realize the only thing he can't see is what he wants to see the most.
I'm fine ... I'm free: The finding of the diary seems rather clunky, it's the falsest note to me in "Closure." Dana finds what she needs in the police blotter, so the facts are revealed, but there was no way to get across Sam's emotional state without the words in her journal -- even with the ER nurse's candid recall of events. It leads Fox down the path he needs to go down -- again, figuratively and literally.
In a series that has been so dependent on Mark Snow and his music cues, I can not overstate how key I consider Moby's "My Weakness" to wrapping up this part of the mythology. I find its use so profoundly moving that it eases any qualms I have about the resolution to the story, as does Kim Manners' direction -- coming up with a way to make that work visually could not have been easy. I compare "My Weakness" here to the seminal use of John Williams' score in Jaws. "My Weakness" drives the denouement like Williams' two-note motif did in the world's first summer blockbuster.
Guest star of the week: If not for Anthony Heald's amazing -- and rather unheralded -- performance as Harold Piller, I would have been giving this nod to Moby. In one episode, Heald gives us a look at someone so familiar to us and he winds up having the opposite reaction to finding out the truth. Harold can solve everyone's pain but his own, and it takes a special actor to give us an emotional look into his character in 45 minutes that aren't all his.