X-Files S2E13: Now the show's simply Irresistible

Sestra Amateur: 

This episode begins at the funeral of a beautiful young blonde named Jennifer. We don’t know who she is or how she died, and frankly, that’s not important to this story. Instead of Mark Snow’s usual score, we’re treated to Erik Satie’s "Gymnopedie No. 1," which I know mainly from the movie My Dinner with Andre – or the TV show Community’s homage to My Dinner with Andre. I’m always confusing the two; it was a pretty accurate homage. But I digress, as I’m known to do here. 

Donnie Pfaster, played by Nick Chinlund, who has one of those faces you know you’ve seen before but can’t figure out from where, goes to pay his last respects to Jennifer. He comes off as a little creepy. These are actually his next-to-last respects -- a morgue employee finds Donnie after he has cut off Jennifer’s beautiful hair and sent her to her final resting place with the worst haircut imaginable. Picture Christina Crawford immediately after Joan Crawford hacked off her hair with a pair of scissors in Mommie Dearest. 

Pfaster, who actually worked for the funeral home, gets fired. One thing that you’ll notice while watching the episode; when some people take a glimpse at Donnie he appears to be a demon or devil. But the images are fleeting and never really get explained. The morgue employee did that when he was trying to figure out who was messing around near Jennifer’s casket. Interesting editing choice.

Sculder are called in after someone desecrates a grave in Minneapolis to cut off a dead woman’s hair and fingernails. Local FBI Agent Moe Bocks – played by Bruce Weitz from Hill Street Blues -- and now Mike Post’s theme is in my head – thinks it’s aliens. Mulder quickly debunks the theory in favor of a non-supernatural fetishist.

Now that the case is no longer an X-File, Mulder wants to go watch the Vikings play the Redskins. Now we all love how I love to be the voice of reason and the debunker of theories here. Well on Nov. 13, 1994, the date that this episode is supposed to take place, the Vikings played the Patriots … in New England and Minnesota ended up losing the game. Ironically, that was the one game the Vikings played in November 1994 that wasn’t at the Metrodome. It’s a moot point anyway; Sculder get called back into the investigation by Agent Bocks because more bodies have been unearthed and are missing hair and fingernails. This case has Scully unusually rattled, probably more so because it’s not looking like an X-File, but the work of a true sociopath.

Meanwhile, Pfaster is interviewing for a job with a frozen food company. Too bad his future employer clearly doesn’t call his last place of business for a reference, although you have to wonder whether Donnie put it on his resume in the first place. Even his prior job descriptions sound creepy, especially when you know his fetishes. Donnie later picks up a blonde hooker, brings her home and prepares an ice cold bath for her. That, coupled with a bedroom decorated like a funeral, freaks her out but she's unable to get away. Pfaster takes her hair, fingernails and even a couple of fingers. 

Agent Bocks and Sculder go to the scene where Donnie dumped her body, but Scully can’t handle it. The next day Donnie starts his new job as a delivery man and he’s already got the wheels turning for future victims. Turns out he likes brunettes too. And of course, we’ll later finds out he’s fond of redheads as well. Meanwhile, Scully performs the hooker’s autopsy. Her written report articulates how much the case disturbs her. While Mulder and Agent Bocks try to come up with some leads, Donnie is attending a mythology class at a local adult education center. Afterward, he attacks a female classmate, but she gets away and Donnie is arrested. 

Dana has a nightmare that it’s her body on the slab when Mulder calls to tell her a suspect is in custody. But Sculder and Agent Bocks are interrogating the wrong man; Donnie is in the next cell and cannot stop staring at Scully. Dana sees him but doesn’t “see” him. She doesn’t explain her discomfort to Fox and instead chooses to return to D.C. with the hooker’s body to see whether the lab can recover evidence to identify their suspect. Yet another Chris Carter script where a plot contrivance makes them act out of character for the sole purpose of stretching the story out to 45 minutes. A quick “Hey, what’s the deal with this creepy guy?” might have resolved everything much smoother and way less traumatically for our heroine. While awaiting the evidence to be processed in D.C., Scully has a therapy session and admits she trusts Mulder with her life, but she doesn't want to talk to him about her feelings on this particular case.

A print is recovered from the hooker’s body and it leads Fox and Bocks to Donnie’s apartment, but he's not there. Turns out he’s following Dana, who flew back to Minneapolis after getting the new information. Pfaster forces Scully’s car off the road and takes her hostage. She really should invest in some type of kidnapping insurance. The cops find her rental car and Mulder actually goes to the trouble of having the car parts physically sent back to D.C. to determine the make and model of the vehicle for possible identification. Why not check to see vehicles registered to Donnie? Or his immediate family? Why weren’t they checking local connections to Pfaster while waiting hours for D.C. to come up with something? 

It turns out Donnie is driving his mother’s car, and now he's hiding Dana in his mother’s house. I would have found Scully hours before Mulder and Company do. But Pfaster's timeline is out of whack too. He really should have put Scully in the bath hours before he actually did. Why leave her tied up in a closet? It gave her time to gather her strength and fight him. After seeing images of Donnie as a demon, Dana manages to knock him into the tub, tumble down the stairs with him and disarm him before the cavalry arrives on the scene. 

Relieved, Scully finally breaks down in Mulder’s arms. Fox's epilogue indicates Donnie’s behavior is related to deep resentment toward his older sisters. That may explain Pfaster's hatred of women, but I don’t see how it explains specific hair and nail fetishes. The boy in the old photographs does look like a future psycho. Sestra Pro, by any chance are those pictures another inside joke (from writer Chris Carter or director David Nutter’s childhood) or just good casting?  

Sestra Professional:

The bar is definitely raised with "Irresistible," possibly the creepiest episode of the show's entire run.

From the get go, Carter and Nutter are delivering a different kind of story. For one thing, Mulder knows right away it's not the work of aliens. From his background in violent crimes, he figures the suspect to be an escalating fetishist who worked at a mortuary or cemetery. He explains: "Some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead things -- fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why, though I've never really understood salt and pepper shakers myself."

A body has a story to tell: We also see Scully more diametrically opposed to Mulder than usual. She's shaken by the case, but she's still able to point out crucial details in her report, deeming Pfaster's crimes to be among the most angry and dehumanizing murders imaginable. In her report, Dana states: "It is somehow easier to believe, as Agent Bocks does, in aliens and UFOs than in the kind of cold-hearted, inhuman monster who could prey on the living to scavenge from the dead."

Mulder's digging further into the deeper psychosis of the suspect, suspecting him of possessing an unfathomable hatred of women for which he may have been treated and possibly even arrested for at an earlier and less deadly date. "This kind of monster isn't made overnight," he says.

Scully stays as far away as she can for as long as she can. "You think you can look into the face of pure evil and then you find yourself paralyzed by it," she recounts in the second person to her therapist. But Dana's father's death and her own abduction are pointed to as moments that might have made her more sensitive to the horrors she's witnessed on the case.

I'm not really on board with Sestra Am in regards to Scully being suspicious of Pfaster when she saw him in jail. Dana didn't have any reason to think he was the guy they were looking for, she was basically bugging out and feeling vulnerable by everything and everyone she came across. Since this could have been an extension of that, I'm willing to take that particular scene at face value. Ya, maybe she could have said "What's this guy in here for?" but she's really at loose ends and basically wanting to high-tail it out of town so she could try to work the case through her wheelhouse -- science.

Then Sestra Am mentioned Mulder and his foot soldier could have been doing all that other grunt work -- finding out about the family's homes and cards -- while the feds were working on the physical evidence, but I'm pretty sure we could ask that question of any procedural on air ever. I think law enforcement proved more adept than usual, ultimately getting ahold of Donnie a lot sooner than might have been reasonably expected. It wasn't too long before the residents of Minneapolis were able to go back to leaving their doors unlocked. I'll also buy Mulder's early explanation that death fetishists often procure hair and fingernails, just because that's what they are prone to do and not something any of us would rationally be able to understand. 

There's no way out, girly girl: It's another tour de force for Gillian Anderson. Not so much the fighting off of Pfaster -- but, yeah, girl power! Go Dana!! The therapy session was right on, but the scene that really got me was after Mulder and the fuzz show up. She's avoiding eye contact, but when Fox forces her to look at him, then and only then does she break down and admit how the case has affected her.

Mulder wraps up by stating Donnie was only extraordinary in his ordinariness. His summation about that fact being as frightening as any X-File is what really sends the chills through viewers' bones. The man whose compulsion is to solve these cases when no one else can or is interested is telling us that there is an equally greater evil lurking all around us. No wonder the locking of the doors line seems dated this many years later.

For years, Carter has told a funny story on the unfunny nature of the episode, namely how Fox program standards prevented the show from portraying Donnie as a necrophiliac and downgrading him to fetishist. Yet when the episode was described in TV Guide, that very word was used in the synopsis. Also, this ep inspired the writer/producer to create sister show Millennium.

In The Complete X-Files, Carter explained the demonic aspect, detailing a recurring theme from the real world. "There are reports of people who had been under the spell of Jeffrey Dahmer who actually claimed that he shape-shifted during those hours when they were held hostage, that his image actually changed," he explained.

But lest we all lose our minds, some light-hearted albeit on-the-nose meta regarding the Vikings-Redskins game that was debunked by Sestra Am. We see footage of Cris Carter (the receiver, not the misspelled show runner) making a play during another game between those two teams. And sorry, no more details, on the child actor used for Donnie's picture at the end -- except to say the show has always been great at creepy kid casting.

Guest star of the week: Nick Chinlund, of course. He might be a little creepier than need be, since the script seems to want people to initially see him as Joe Average, but Chinlund keeps his performance very metered and controlled. We can almost feel his pulse running at a normal rate as he plans and carries out Donnie's gruesome crimes. In doing so, he makes Pfaster more of a monster than anything we've seen on the show so far, and we've run across some dubious and devious characters. 

Coming up: We will ring in new year with the introduction of a man who helped elevate the show from merely interesting to the standard by which others ultimately would be judged as Kim Manners comes on board as one of The X-Files' definitive directors.

X-Files S2E12: Sister is doing it for herself

Sestra Amateur: 

This episode is the perfect example of my biggest pet peeve about The X-Files. It could have been a great stand-alone episode, but the writer – in this case, Sara Charno – couldn’t make the final puzzle pieces fit together properly, so she pounds them together with a sledgehammer. The end result makes both Mulder and Scully look inept. But let’s enjoy the scenery on this ride until its inevitable annoying conclusion.

Lieutenant Brian Tillman – played by everyone’s favorite psychopathic stepfather Terry O’Quinn -- is investigating a murder in Aubrey, Missouri. The killer carved “sister” onto the victim’s chest and wrote it on the wall in blood. Detective B.J. Morrow has more important things on her mind, namely the fact that Tillman, her married boss, knocked her up. They arrange to meet at a motel to talk about it, but B.J. experiences visions of an old murder. She ends up in an empty field digging up the bones of an FBI agent named Sam Chaney, who disappeared in 1942 with his partner, Agent Leadbetter. At the time, Agents Chaney and Leadbetter were using psychology to investigate stranger danger – I mean serial killings. 

Mulder gets the case and is more curious about how B.J. ended up in the lot in the first place. Sculder meet with Detective Morrow. Her story just doesn’t add up – and Sculder know it. After Mulder rattles B.J. by asking about clairvoyance and dreams, Tillman whisks her away. Scully realizes they’re having an affair. Dana  analyzes Chaney’s bones, and with B.J.’s psychic help, they figure out “brother” was carved into the rib cage. Scully figures out Morrow is pregnant and B.J. tells her that the nightmares are related to the pregnancy. 

Dana thinks B.J. is suffering from cryptomesia, meaning she subconsciously forgot she had related memories. Since B.J.’s father was also a cop, Scully believes he discussed the Slash Killer’s investigation in front of her at some point. Tillman joins the party when he realizes the crime scene photos from 1942 match his crime scene from three days ago. Then another recent slash victim is located and B.J. realizes she dreamed about her too. See how good the setup was for this episode?

Morrow is looking through mugshots from the '40s while Tillman tries to convince her to abort their baby. Yep, he’s a keeper all right. Then B.J. runs across photos of the man of her dreams, Harry Cokely, who lives in Gainesville, Nebraska. He served 48 years for the rape and attempted murder of Linda Thibedeaux. Sculder interview the 77-year-old, who is physically not able to perform the recent murders. This is starting to feel like last week’s episode, "Excelsis Dei." Cokely even uses the same defense. The continuity police should have had Mulder make a throwaway reference to the old guys in the nursing home. Even Scully dismisses the possibility fairly quickly. But Cokely still has a creepy vibe, especially when he continuously calls Dana “little sister.”

Meanwhile, B.J. is having another nightmare. She wakes up covered in blood, but it looks like it’s hers. The word “sister” is carved onto her chest. Half-crazed, she ends up in a stranger’s basement and starts tearing up the floorboards. Tillman and Sculder arrive to retrieve B.J., who claims she was attacked by young Cokely. Mulder continues digging and finds the bones of Agent Leadbetter. Old Cokely is brought in for questioning, but it doesn’t go very far. 

Scully eventually gets test results that connect Cokely to the attack, but they’re from 1994, so let’s put a pin in that for now. Sculder visit Linda Thibedeaux in Edmond, Nebraska and learn B.J. was seeing images from inside Linda’s house. Linda tells the agents about the trial and Cokely’s defense -- his father brutally punished him instead of the five sisters. Mulder realizes Linda became pregnant after being raped by Cokely and gave the baby boy up for adoption because she couldn’t live with the reminder. So why didn’t she move too? Scully learns Cokely once rented the house where they found Agent Leadbetter’s bones. Crime Scene also found a straight razor that matches the description of the weapon Cokely used in his crimes. Dana determines  Linda’s son is Raymond Morrow, B.J.’s father. 

It’s all starting to makes sense, right? B.J. is committing the murders because she’s become Cokely. This is understandable in an X-Files universe kind of way. Here is where everything goes sideways. Knowing where Missouri and Nebraska are on the map, I’d love to have the geographical logistics explained to me in a way that makes sense. Aubrey, Edmond, Gainesville and Terrence aren’t real towns in these states, so the only frame of reference given is that Terrence was approximately one hour from Aubrey. 

Sculder, who are in Aubrey, Missouri, drive to Edmond, Nebraska to warn Linda that B.J. is coming to kill her. They do not try to call her or even send local police to her house. So of course, B.J. is in Linda’s house trying to kill Linda. Even worse, B.J. looks scarred like Cokely and talks just like him. Linda has a gun but doesn’t shoot Morrow, because she realizes B.J. is her granddaughter. They compare “sister” tattoos and B.J. slashes Linda. 

By the time Sculder finally get there, B.J. is gone, but she didn’t kill Linda after all. Maybe part of B.J. is still in control. Fox uses the phone to call for paramedics – so he can’t claim he didn’t call because Linda didn’t have a phone. Scully thinks B.J.’s next victim is Tillman, but Mulder’s convinced she’s going after Cokely, so Fox uses Linda’s phone to warn Cokely. Yeah, you read that right. The lifelong victim can’t get a simple heads-up from the good guys, but the remorseless convict gets a warning. In his “defense,” Mulder didn’t send local police there, either. Fox drives over to Cokely’s place in Gainesville, Nebraska. Not sure exactly how far Gainesville is supposed to be from Edmond, but Dana manages to take Linda with her back to the Aubrey Police Department to give a statement, pick up Tillman, then meet Mulder at Cokely’s place shortly after her partner finally arrives there. Maybe Fox stopped for more sunflower seeds on the way to Cokely’s place. 

But my annoyance is making me get ahead of myself, so let’s backtrack a bit. Cokely is watching a black-and-white movie (I’ll bet Sestra Pro knows what it is) and realizes someone is in his house. Cokely sees possessed B.J., who calls him “brother” and slashes him. Mulder enters the house and sees Cokely dying on the floor. B.J. gets the jump on Fox and is about to kill him when Scully and Tillman enter. It’s a stalemate until Cokely dies and B.J. no longer acts possessed.

In the epilogue, we learn B.J. has been incarcerated in a women’s prison and tried to abort her baby boy. Tillman makes arrangements to adopt his own son after he is born. Guess that’s one way to avoid 18 years of baby mama drama. 

Sestra Professional:

Some strong and pertinent commentary from Sestra Am this week, and she is totally on the money. "Aubrey" sets up very strongly and then the show dilutes its good work and sharp guest performances with a WTF denouement. Maybe that's why this episode always seems to fly underneath the fans' radar.

While Charno got credit after delivering a story about 50-year-old murders and genetic memory, in The X-Files official episode guide, it's said producers Glen Morgan and James Wong had a big hand in the final script and particularly the fourth act -- the one in which everything falls apart. I kind of wish I could at least see what Charno's wrapup was originally slated to be. It couldn't have been much more disappointing than the sledgehammer, could it?

But the atmosphere is indeed compelling and chilling from the get-go, in no small part due to director Rob Bowman -- one of the series' most dependable workhorses in only his third outing -- and Mark Snow music that deviates from the style we've become accustomed to and ratchets up the tension as a result.

I've always been intrigued by women named B.J.: The story's central figure draws us in completely. This woman has got a more messed-up life than Dana Scully, if that's possible. Yeah, she's a law enforcement figure who finds the bodies of agents who disappeared in 1942 without knowing how she did it. She's also living some seriously bad soap opera.

But back to our own heroes. It's disarming how Fox can be so attuned to B.J.'s psychic ability, but can't pick up on the connection between B.J. and her boss. It's up to Dana to do that for him. Of course, by now she's got a handle on what it's like to be a woman in that line of work and all the sturm und drang that goes with that.

I do have a question about one of Mulder's hunches though. He says there's a pretty high probability of a carved letter on the FBI's bones being an "R." Wouldn't it be just as likely to be an "A"? Shoulda gone with the "E." I think I had the same question when this episode originally aired. Talk about an unsolved mystery.

Some people are late bloomers: This show keeps us guessing for a long time. Cokely's an invalid, but he's a really creepy one. As Sestra Am said, perhaps they should have made some kind of reference to last week's astral-projection mushrooms? Instead they jump right ahead to the genetics part of the equation, noting that traits can sometimes skip a generation. 

Mulder's connected the current murders to 1942 while Scully goes the tried-and-true "consciously forgotten information" route. Dana does take a moment to needle Fox while they are racking up miles in their rental car. "I seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches," she says. But here's a Fox quote we should file away for future use: "I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask." On a show not really known for long-term continuity (and short-term as we just pointed out), this will be harkened back to most dramatically at a later date.

And while we really get hung up at the end of this one, there are some interesting genetic theories bandied about and with more finesse than we've seen in recent episodes. Does Mulder like sunflower seeds because he's genetically disposed to liking them? And do I like sunflower seeds because my Mom was genetically disposed to liking them or because Fox implanted that in me subconsciously?

I wasn't quite as discombobulated by Sestra Am by the finish -- that must be why she didn't recognize Cokely's old movie as His Girl Friday -- but why does there always have to be a completely ridiculous Mulder theory? In discussing B.J.'s self-carving, he supposes it could have been "weird stigmata." You had me at she did it to herself, Fox, you lost me with that second guess.

Guest star of the week: With apologies to Terry O'Quinn -- a Chris Carter & company favorite long before he got Lost -- this is Deborah Strang's showcase. She handles a weighty B.J. story that could have been written for Dana, minus the climax. The difference is Strang had about 20 minutes to draw us in and make us care about B.J. So much so that we're really ticked off "Aubrey" doesn't end as strongly as it started.

X-Files S2E11: Your mushrooms are lifting me higher

Sestra Amateur: 

Meet Michelle Charters, the Nurse Ratched of the Excelsis Dei Convalescent Home in Worcester, Mass. She’s bossy, controlling and impatient with the elderly residents. Unlike Michelle, Nurse Ratched never had to deal with poltergeists. And just like that, this episode veers from One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest to The Entity. 

This case features some interesting role reversal for our heroes. Scully is the one who brings the X-File to Mulder’s attention. He, in turn, uses psychological explanations to debunk Michelle’s supernatural-tinged account of battery and rape. They interview Michelle, who accuses 74-year-old Hal Arden, a resident she strapped down into bed shortly before the assault occurred. 

Sculder interview Hal while he’s taking his bath. Actor David Fresco, who was 85 years old when this episode aired, seems pretty fearless in front of the camera. He uses his frail state and withered, naked body to show the agents he couldn’t possibly be the one who attacked Michelle. Enjoy the visual image stuck in your heads, Sculder. Hal blames the sexual harassment fad for Michelle’s allegations and the look Mulder gives Scully almost makes you believe he buys what Hal is selling. Mulder still thinks Michelle lied for her lawsuit. Gung, the orderly assisting Hal, clearly knows what’s going on but is keeping quiet … for now.

Hal’s roommate, Stan Phillips, is concerned about the FBI’s arrival and investigation. Stan, played by character actor Eric Christmas, seems as physically frail as Hal, but just as mentally sharp. While Sculder interview the home’s director, Mrs. Dawson, Hal swallows an unmarked capsule. Stan tries to blackmail Hal into giving him one as well by threatening to tattle, but Hal starts choking. Dr. Scully rushes in to save Hal, then proceeds to perform the world’s slowest round of CPR before giving up altogether. Not going to save him that way, Scully. 

Sculder talk with Dr. Grago, who was treating several of the Alzheimer’s patients – including Hal and Stan – with Depranil. Stan continues to take Hal’s pills – not the Depranil – against Gung’s wishes. Other residents, including artist Leo and fear-mongering Dorothy (played by David Lynch favorite Frances Bay), also want more pills but Gung is resistant. Stan’s daughter arrives to take him home. Now that he’s lucid, he doesn’t want to leave, so he bolts. Abusive orderly Jerry runs after Stan and gets knocked out of a fourth-story window. He grabs onto the ledge but an invisible entity makes Jerry lose his grip one creepy finger at a time until he falls to his death. 

Michelle, who is still working there, complains about having more work now that Jerry is, well, dead, and the other orderly, Upshaw, is missing. Dorothy looks like she’s in full dementia mode as she talks to an empty room full of people. Anyone who has ever watched an Alzheimer’s patient talk to an empty room as though it’s full of people will be really unnerved by seeing what Dorothy sees. But the room is full … of invisible entities who swarm Scully. Luckily, they don’t harm her, but Dana seems to sense something around her. 

Hal’s autopsy results show ibotenic acid – ‘shrooms! -- in his blood. Leo’s manic artwork leads Mulder to the basement where Gung has been growing mushrooms. Fox also stumbles across Upshaw’s dead body buried in the soil. Back upstairs, Sculder interrogate Gung. Actually, Grago and Dawson interrogate him too. It’s a weird dynamic. Gung agrees to give up his stash of pills but when he retrieves the jar from his hiding spot, the capsules are gone. 

Mulder is finally on the supernatural bandwagon when the spirits drag away poor Leo and knock Michelle unconscious. The nurse and Mulder get locked into a flooding bathroom. If she survives, looks like Michelle will win her lawsuit after all. Stan, who took another pill, starts convulsing. Scully sends Grago to give Stan a shot to counter the mushrooms while she tries to free Mulder. The water pressure breaks open the bathroom door so Mulder and Michelle are safe. Dorothy tells them the entities are gone. 

The end of Grago’s Depranil and Gung’s herbal treatments cause Leo, Dorothy and Stan to revert back to their original mental states. I think the loss of Leo’s spectacular artistic ability is the saddest of the three. Unlike Stan, Leo used his abilities in a positive way. 



Sestra Professional:

 It's old home week on The X-Files. Actually, I meant we're seeing actors who have joined us before -- Jerry Wassermann (the experimenting physician was a shrink in "Tooms"), facility director Sheila Moore and dead orderly Jerry had tiny roles in "Deep Throat" and Stan's daughter Tasha Simms (one of the young Eve's moms in "Eve"). What did you think I meant by "old home week"? 

I wouldn't deem "Excelsis Dei" a favorite episode by any means, but it does come across as more of a textbook stand-alone than the shoe-horned heavy-handedness of previous episode "Red Museum" and its predecessor, the boring "Ice" retread known as "Firewalker."


On the other hand, getting into the subject matter via entity rape proves particularly unsettling. It gets easier to digest when the story sort of segues into The X-Files take on Cocoon, but political correctness demands Mulder forsake his usual glibness in favor of a more straight-laced (and dare I say, Scully-like) approach. He thinks Charters is the nurse who cried wolf.

I've got plumbing older than this building and it don't work much better either: That leaves Scully to question who or what could be causing Michelle's attack. She's got theories about the experimental Alzheimer's drug causing a psychotic state seemingly close to schizophrenia and she's got questions about the ancient building fostering contaminants causing further delusions, dementia and violent behavior despite the age of the patients. 

What are you, a track star all of a sudden? After Hal is dispatched, the focus turns to Spry Stan. His daughter claims it's like he's a different person -- although just as angry as when he was first brought to the home. Mulder finally gets to do something -- sprinting up to the window to help the orderly knocked out of the window, but even though he gets there in time, splat. 

Now Mulder's in the game. Apparently he doesn't like getting to Jerry in time and still not being able to effect a more positive result -- namely keeping the guy alive. The entities are unnerving Dorothy, but the meds are sure doing wonders for Leo and his artwork. Mulder believes shamans have used mushrooms for centuries to speak to the dead, Scully reverts to form by responding that they're just interpreting dreams or hallucinations they have under the influence.

Mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on hamburgers, but they don't raise the dead: Asian orderly Gung may be dosing the residents with his cultivated mushrooms for medicinal purposes, but he claims the American tendency of sending the elderly into nursing homes is ultimately to blame for the unrest. The souls of those that suffered and died at this particular institution have been awakened. "They've taken revenge for their mistreatment," he says. Chock up another point for the show on the social issue front. 

The X-Files continues to revert to form when Mulder sees something Scully isn't privy to -- namely Michelle being flung against against the wall and being locked out of the rapidly filling water closet. Well, at least she was able to procure help for Stan. And it proved to be a great set piece when the bathroom couldn't hold its water any longer.

Ultimately, the episode ended up more like Awakenings at the end, as all the residents still alive and no longer taking the experimental drug nor the mushrooms have regressed to their earlier state. Kind of depressing, think Gung is exporting his crop from Malaysia? 


Guest star of the week: With apologies to the rest of a very game guest cast, it's Christmas time! Eric Christmas time, that is. A character actor with an extensive filmography, Stan Phillips is best known to the Sestras from Night Court and The John Larroquette Show. (He was the priest in Harold and Maude for the rest of y'all.)

X-Files S2E10: 'Red Museum' serves up a hot mess

Sestra Amateur: 

Today, we’re in Wisconsin cattle country, y’all. Beth Kane works at the meat packing plant. She goes home to her sons and an unknown man spying on her through a peephole. Her older son, Gary, takes a phone call and says he’s going out for five minutes. Twelve hours later, the cops find him traumatized and wearing only his tighty whities. On his back are the words “He is one.” 

Sculder get the case because several other teenaged victims suffered the same fate. Delta Glen Sheriff Mazeroski, played by Steve Eastin – who I know best as Eddie “He winked at me” Cicotte in Field of Dreams – directs Sculder to the Church of the Red Museum. Its members wear white clothing with red turbans. Their leader, Richard Odin, played by Mark Rolston – who I know best as Bogs “I could be a friend to you” Diamond in Shawshank Redemption – can type with his eyes closed. That’s not impressive; hell, even I can do that. His sermon speaks of soul transference and possession. Mulder refers to them as Walk-ins. I thought a walk-in was when I go to get a manicure but don’t have an appointment. 

Sculder and the sheriff are called out as non-believers. Clearly, Odin doesn’t know Mulder. Sculder and Sheriff Mazeroski interview Gary, who claims a spirit entered him. While talking to Gary’s younger brother, Stevie, Scully senses she is being watched but Mulder interrupts her. Sculder discuss the case over dinner at Clay’s BBQ restaurant. Sestra Pro probably loved the moment where Mulder wiped a glob of BBQ sauce off Scully’s face. After dinner, they stop the sheriff’s teenaged son, Rick, and his “gang” from bullying a teenaged boy from the Red Church. After they send the kids on their way, Rick’s girlfriend becomes the next abductee. She’s found the next morning stripped and marked while hallucinating bugs and birds. (Birds, birds, birds!) Scully learns from the toxicology report there were mind-altering drugs in the girl’s system.

Sculder return to the Red Church, but Odin will not allow the meat eaters to enter due to religious beliefs. The other members silently swarm around Sculder’s car. Mulder arrests Odin – even though he didn’t have evidence that the leader committed a crime at this point. During interrogation, Odin tries to change Sculder’s focus to growth hormones in the beef. Meanwhile, the church members protest outside the BBQ joint. No one does anything when Rick charges the group and flings a bucket filled with cow’s blood at the members. Nice town. The best bleach in the world isn’t going to get those whites white again. The Chinese restaurant across the street wisely stays closed during the fracas. 

Our heroes get a lead from an old man in a red pickup truck. He drives Sculder out to his family’s former cattle ranch and tells them the current owners are injecting the cattle with Bovine Somatropin – BST, a growth hormone. Guess the cult leader was right on this one. The old man scoffs at Scully’s naïve comment that growth hormones couldn't cause harm because they were cleared for usage by the FDA. 

Later that night, a UFO crash-lands in the woods. OK, it wasn’t a UFO but I had you going, didn’t I? It was actually a small airplane that lost oil pressure. Maybe it should have been an X-File, because the angle at which the plane crashed does not match up with the wreckage we see the following morning. However, I think that was just careless set design and not an actual plot point. What is important is the passenger list -- Dr. Larson, who died in the crash, was the one who delivered all of the teenaged victims. He also had a briefcase filled with cash and a vial containing an unknown substance. This convenient crash feels like the equivalent of Deep Throat or Mr. X providing exposition. 

Back on the BST ranch, Gird Thomas, the man who has been spying on the Kane family, leaves just before another man arrives and shoots Gird’s partner. There's something familiar about that shooter. Meanwhile, Sculder are interviewing Beth, who says Gary has never been sick a day in his life. Dr. Larson gave Gary and the other kids “vitamin shots.” Mulder sees light coming through the mirror and realizes someone has been watching and videotaping the Kane family for some time. Later that night, Rick gets abducted by Gird and is found the next morning stripped and marked – but also dead from a bullet to the head. Sheriff Mazeroski probably isn’t going to take his son’s murder lightly. 

In the car, Scully sees the shooter, but can’t quite place him. Instead of being a good investigator and attempting contact with him, she and Mulder continue in the opposite direction. This might have ended in Mulder’s favor if Scully just said something. Sculder interview Gird who admits to kidnapping and marking the teens who became monsters because of Dr. Larson’s original treatments. Not typical X-Files monsters but horrible people who rape and terrorize others. Gird, his partner and Dr. Larson were trying to right their wrongs by inoculating the cattle … and the kids. 

The vial analysis proves Gird’s account, but there’s more to it: The vial contained the alien DNA that Scully first saw in Season 1 finale "The Erlenmeyer Flask." And now Scully realizes why the man in the car looked familiar -- he’s the one who killed Deep Throat (and the one I referred to as UNK Man in that episode’s blog). Mulder tells Scully he wants UNK Man taken alive. Guess things aren’t going to end well for UNK Man. Mulder gets permission from Odin to hide the teens and their families on their compound. Sounds like the makings of a mediocre reality show: Walk-ins and Meat Eaters living together, wackiness ensues. 

Mulder goes to the meat packing plant and finds UNK Man about to torch the place in an effort to destroy evidence. UNK Man locks Mulder in, but gets caught by Scully and the sheriff. Sheriff Mazeroski avenges his son's death by shooting UNK Man several times and Mulder doesn’t get his answers. Of course no one can identify UNK Man -- after all, he is UNK -- and the substance in the vial breaks down so it can’t be tested anymore. As usual, we have more questions than answers. I’ll contemplate the episode more while enjoying a nice steak dinner tonight.   

Sestra Professional:
 
This episode is textbook early Chris Carter. The show creator has got something to say and his script is going to deliver it in the most heavy-handed way possible. (At least he gets better at it after attending the Church of Darin Morgan/Vince Gilligan later on in the series.)

It's kind of hard to tell the villains without a scorecard: Only problem is, in this particular case, Carter's going a bunch of different directions at once. Is this about Walk-ins not eating meat but being copacetic about violent revenge? Is this the physical reaction from a town that's been ingesting genetically engineered growth hormone? Is this about the dangers of a doctor with a monopoly on a small town? Or is it just the work of a creepy landlord?

Not to mention the time-tested X-Files way to clear this falderal up -- throw it all back on the conspiracy. The man who has been executing people here just happens to be the same shooter who took down Deep Throat. Scully's tests come back linked to Purity Control, which Mulder swears up and down is of alien origin -- although Scully clearly hasn't done enough testing to agree with that premise.

By the way, here are other ways to tell you're watching a Carter-penned ep. Are the words "mortal coil" used? Are references made to current events? Check and check. Here Scully mentions Colombian gangs using the hallucinogenic drug, scopolamine, to subdue kidnapping victims. Can't count on director Win Phelps to smooth this mess over, he only helms this one time. (Although props for the peep-hole view that catches Scully's eye, that's a sweet shot.)

For a holy man, you've got quite a knack for pissing people off: But back to the Walk-ins. It's like Carter had half an episode with the soul-transference believers and kind of shoehorned that in with the growth hormone and a pedophile. I do appreciate Mulder's knowledge of famous walk-ins (Abraham Lincoln, Mikhail Gorbachev and Charles Colson) and that even they won't take credit for Richard Nixon. I'm not sure Colson paints them in a favorable light though, even if he did find religion after Watergate.

There are some other interesting concepts in there. Technology enables cows to deliver 10 percent more milk, that puts "more meat on the hoof." And the ideas of these specific hormones causing the ridiculous amount of violence in town and a doctor who really has no competition conducting tests on the kids with vitamin shots. All these concepts I would buy in separate episodes. But you don't also need a stalker kidnapping the kids and the veganists. By the way, using the Red Museum as a control group doesn't seem like the brightest idea -- think none of them would ever sneak a hamburger like we did a candy bar as kids?

But then on top of that, Carter has to work the conspiracy back into the mix. Whew, it's exhausting. Basically the final third of the ep undermines everything that has come before it. So is Carter saying that absolutely none of those intriguing, intertwining ideas are responsible because ... (cue dramatic eye roll) ... yet again, aliens?!! 

Ribs like these, I'd say the Church of the Red Museum has its work cut out for it: Sestra Am, you have me all wrong. I am not a shipper who goes all a-quiver at the sight of Mulder and Scully touching. I am what was known back in the day as a no-romo -- meaning I don't particularly want Sculder to get it on. Nowadays, that's a rarity. The fandom has been overtaken by shippers. But much more on this in the blogs to come.

Guest star of the week: Lots of options from Sestra Am's "I know best as" crop, but I'm gonna go with Paul Sand -- who I know best from The Hot Rock and The Main Event. Landlord-turned-pedophile Gird Thomas is a severely thankless role, but he certainly gives it more weight than the script provides for him. And it's also markedly different from the sad-sack roles he completely inhabited in the '70s.