X-Files S9E10: Adventures in babysitting

Sestra Amateur: 

I was going to start this episode review with the definitions of "Provenance" (the title of the previous episode) and "Providence" (the title of this one). But when it started with the always-tedious voice-over, I lost all interest in definitions and just dove into the show. 

A man is talking about "Come to Jesus" moments, with his own occurring during Operation Desert Storm. At first the voice sounded like Special Agent John Doggett, but the man in the flashback is the one from the Alberta, Canada dig site in the previous episode. Alberta Man recalls seeing soldiers getting shot but be unaffected by the bullets. Super-Soldiers? Way back in 1991? It certainly ain’t the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, despite what he recites. And back in the present (boy, that sounds contradictory), the same man stands on the completely unearthed alien spacecraft in Alberta. Too bad Chris Carter didn’t change the intro’s usual phrase to "The truth is in there."

Assistant Director Brad Follmer is conducting a briefing that sums up the kidnapping of Special Agent Dana Scully’s baby boy from the previous episode. Luckily, the Lone Gunmen (especially Byers) are reasonably healthy. The same can’t be said for poor John, who lies comatose in a hospital. Assistant Director Walter Skinner tries to talk to Dana, but she’s in full Mulder-esque government conspiracy mode. And she’s probably not wrong.

Skinner checks on Doggett and finds Special Agent Monica Reyes by John’s side. Too bad John’s not aware of it. Walter offers her some words of support. Scully asks Monica for help after the Lone Gunmen identify Alberta Woman … but won't tell the feds. Reyes thinks Dana is wrong for trusting the guys again but still helps. Meanwhile, Alberta Woman contacts Alberta Man from a pay phone. During the call, the ship seems to activate. Was that William’s doing? Unfortunately, team Reyly arrive too late to the phone booth to catch up to them.

The next morning, after Reyes is unable to see Doggett in the hospital, she takes a page from Scully’s book and prays in the chapel. Follmer observes and tries to comfort her, then he reveals he knew about the failed attempt to catch Alberta Woman. Brad brings Monica to Special Agent Robert Comer’s hospital room and shows her something Robert wrote on a piece of paper. It’s the word "jacket." Reyes asks Dana what it means. Well, Monica, according to dictionary.com, it’s a “protective outer covering.” (Look at that. Turns out I did have a definition in me after all.) 

Scully reveals what she knows and Team Reyly head back to the hospital where Dana “treats” Comer with the artifact from his jacket pocket. He regains consciousness and explains his mission to infiltrate Josepho (Alberta Man?) and his cult. (Luckily, this isn’t a three-parter. "Providence" Comer is way more forthcoming than "Provenance" Comer.) And apparently, there’s a convoluted prophecy involving Mulder’s “death,” the end of mankind, yada yada yada. Too bad (luckily?) they get interrupted by Alan Dale, the one who currently skulks around at the higher-up FBI meetings. By the way, IMDb.com calls him "Toothpick Man," but I don’t remember seeing him with a toothpick in either episode. They should have just called him "Non-Smoking Man."

Alberta Woman and William arrive at the dig site. Alberta Man thinks the boy will be safe with them. The same can’t be said for the two men who were baked inside the space ship when it was activated during the phone call. Skinner and Follmer arrive at Comer’s hospital room and they want to know where Scully and Reyes are. Dana believes her worst fears have been confirmed, that something has been very wrong with William since the day he was conceived. (Wow, she really has no idea how right she is.) And it gets worse; Comer is dead even though he looks healed and healthy. The artifact which Team Reyly concealed in his hand is missing. Monica confronts the nurse, Toothpick Man and everyone else but Scully, who bails to go sit by John’s bedside. Luckily, Doggett finally wakes up. Yet after everything they’ve been through, Dana and John still address each other as "Agent."

Alberta Man calls for a meeting so Scully finds her way to Calgary, Canada. (Is it ironic how the L.A.-based show found its way back into the Great White North?) He quotes the Bible to Dana, who is clearly familiar with the source material but fed up with people keeping her son from her. Alberta Man denies being the one who killed Mulder and he demands proof of death from Scully. Luckily, Reyes and the Lone Gunmen are nearby. Frohike bugs the wackadoo’s truck and Team Reyly quickly follow. Too bad the boys lose the signal. 

Back at the dig site, William’s crying is annoying everyone and everything, including the spacecraft. Monica and Dana stumble across the dig site’s location. Scully runs toward the tent, screaming William’s name. The ship activates and Alberta Man absorbs a beam of light. The ship flies away and the tent burns to the ground, with all of the worshippers’ bodies burned to respective crisps. In the middle of all that, William is still crying, so Dana is able to find her son and hold him again.

The next day(?) Monica goes to the hospital to take John home. He tells her about a voice he heard during his coma that enabled him to help Scully when she needed it. At FBI headquarters, A.D. Follmer confronts Deputy Director Kersh about the report on Comer’s death. It almost sounds like Follmer is becoming a believer. But Kersh hands off the closed case file to the Toothpick Man, who happens to have an implant in the back of his neck. ... On the bright side, no additional voice-overs!

Sestra Professional: 

My gameplan for this episode was to keep saying to myself, "'Audrey Pauley' is next, 'Audrey Pauley' is next." So we'll be back in X-Files/Twilight Zone mode soon enough, and in the meantime, here's the latest reminder that the mythology is currently running on fumes.

 

I was left as a witness to a vision: This might be the best use of a voiceover we've had in many moons. It starts off with the kind of ecclesiastical bent that's become a part of the show for as long as people have been noticing that Dana Scully wears a cross. But then a little twist brings it into a place and time we can all identify with, no matter what our religious proclivity -- finding God in our universe when things are at their worst. That's not such a bad reintroduction to Alberta Man, as those things go. I'm almost interested in what he's up to now.

 

Gonna have to side with Scully when she calls Skinner on his "protection" seeming like more of a systematic FBI effort to eliminate those involved in the X-files. I don't doubt that's Walter's rationalization, but he really needs to clean off those rose-colored glasses. Someone who has survived the kind of battleground we saw at the beginning of the episode as well as over eight seasons of the FBI's oversolicitous ideologies about what the public and its own employees need to know should do better by Dana.

So now we have Toothpick Man (so named for handling toothpicks as opposed to popping them in his mouth) disposing of employees in his best Cigarette-Smoking Man manner. Yeah, he's doing nothing for me. I'm having my own crisis of faith about whether this kind of behavior was more easily acceptable in earlier seasons just because it was CSM and the Syndicate or whether the groundwork was better laid down in those days. But there is some measure of intrigue when the ship starts moving, I guess it's the spacecraft feeling William vibes through the phone or vice versa.

 

Maybe when you're lost, you knock at the door with the porch light on: This has been a rough season for Agent Doggett. He's hospitalized for the second time in 10 episodes after dying/almost dying/not-sure-what-else-to-call-it in "4-D." And lest we forget, John nearly drowned in the season-opening two-parter and clearly needed medical attention as an amnesiac in "John Doe," events that tend to land mere mortals in the hospital. Hey, maybe Doggett's a Super-Soldier too! Has anyone checked the back of his neck lately?

Speaking of bounceback ability, how about Robert Comer? I almost thought he had the Super-Soldier status I've longed for Alex Krycek to have after two near-fatal sequences in "Provenance," but it was just the piece of metal. (Can we call it an "artifact" or something else instead of "piece of metal," Reyes? I don't think the latter description is quite right.)

Just tell them the truth: By necessity, "Providence" is a powerhouse episode for Gillian Anderson, who has to wade through all Scully's emotions for a second straight show after doing light lifting in the early part of the season. What I appreciate most is Dana trusting Monica even though she knows Reyes is being pressed by Follmer and his pals. The women have a good bond, and for the second straight ep, the most information is figured out when they're bouncing ideas off each other.  

I have to admit I still don't get the concept of this prophecy. Alien race leading the world, these ships are the physical manifestation of God and William is the future savior coveted by the forces of good and evil. How do we get from that to both Mulder and Scully's baby need to be dead? And why are we taking it at face value that everyone on Earth perishes if they don't kick off? At least Monica's able to talk to Dana down, because Scully's head is spinning like the piece of metal -- er, artifact -- over the concept.

And so Scully trusts the Lone Gunmen again, and once again, they let her down after swearing to the contrary. Langly states the transponder could track William even underwater in Brazil, and not two seconds later, the signal is lost. I just can't deal with them anymore. Even though their hearts are in the right place, their abilities seem to be offline for good.

It's OK, though, because when Dana and Monica run out of road, no problem! Scully picked up so much from Mulder, including which way to go when there are no roads left to travel (see: Fight the Future). Before they get to the location, the spaceship goes all Raiders of the Lost Ark on the cult. I guess if I can appreciate the mixing together of The X-Files and The Twilight Zone, I might as well enjoy the Raiders-Fight the Future combo platter.

 

Guest star of the week: As much as my gut wants to go with McDonough again, gonna give it to Denis Forest as Alberta Man/Josepho. It was strange to have a non-regular handling the traditional voice-over chores, but Forest makes it work for this two-parter. Sorry/not sorry he didn't get to close it out.

X-Files S9E9: Crime and Provenance

Sestra Amateur: 

It’s a good thing this is not a Monster-of-the-Week episode. I desperately needed the recap to remember everything I’d forgotten about The X-Files over the past couple of months. Alien ship? Check. Clones? Check. Baby with potentially supernatural abilities? Check.

In Burke County, North Dakota, local cops pursue a dirt biker suspected of illegally crossing the U.S.-Canadian border and they manage to chase the guy to his death. Seems like the punishment does not fit the crime in this case. And it looks like he was carrying something with markings similar to the alien ship from previous episodes "Biogenesis" (Season 6, Episode 22) and "The Sixth Extinction" (S7E1). (Without the recap, I probably wouldn’t have put that together.)

Back in Washington, D.C., Special Agent Dana Scully gets called into a meeting with several FBI bigwigs: Deputy Director Alvin Kersh, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, Assistant Director Brad Follmer and several unnamed extras. If this was an earlier ep, Cigarette-Smoking Man definitely would have been present. They blindside Scully with the evidence recovered from the dead biker, but Dana remains cagey until she gets downstairs to the X-files office. She pulls the case file with her copy of the rubbings of the alien markings from the ship found off the African coast two years earlier and shows them to Special Agents John Doggett and Monica Reyes.

Doggett drives to sunny, cool North Dakota and meets with the Special Agent in Charge – Brad Follmer -- who admits the border-crosser’s body has not been located yet. Turns out he’s been hiding in plain sight, camouflaged by the shrubbery and grass. The clearly injured biker is played by Neal McDonough, who has spent the past 20 years appearing on every television show known to man. He’s carrying an artifact which contains alien markings.

Scully meets with Reyes in the latter's apartment to talk about the translation of the alien language. Both women agree that if it’s the word of God, that could put all of mankind’s beliefs in question. Dana thinks the answers she’s looking for involve her son, William. John meets with Skinner and holds Walter’s feet to the fire. Doggett knows something is going on and wants answers. Of course, Skinner isn’t giving them so John searches Walter’s office and finds the rubbings in an unlocked drawer. Meanwhile in Alberta, Canada, an overnight dig reveals another buried ship.

Doggett wakes up Reyes in the middle of the night to show her the case file he obtained on Special Agent Robert Comer – the illegal border-crosser. Yep, he’s one of theirs. (John gets some interesting results without the convenience of a Deep Throat or Mr. X.) Meanwhile, Comer is looking a lot healthier as he hotwires a truck in Maryland. And Scully is trying to leave her apartment at night to meet with Team Johnica, but her mother, Margaret, is not happy about it. This may be the end of the free babysitting train, Dana. 

When she meets with Doggett and Reyes, Scully drops a bombshell -- the new rubbings don’t match the old ones. Too bad Agent Comer has found his way into Dana’s apartment. Scully finds her injured mother and makes a rookie mistake when going to check on William. Robert easily disarms her and locks her out of the baby’s room. Margaret throws a gun to her daughter, who shoots Comer before he can smother William. (Actually, I’m assuming that was Robert's intent. He might have just wanted William to have a more comfy pillow for better neck support.) 

Team Johnica arrive during the aftermath. Reyes takes Margaret and William to a safe location while Dana and John deal with Comer. Agent Scully wins out over Dr. Scully because she wants answers. Dogged Doggett calls 911 as Comer tells Scully her son has to die. After the paramedics take away Robert, Dana finds the artifact with alien markings in his jacket pocket.

For some reason, Agent Comer’s shooting is front-page news in Calgary, Alberta. A woman involved with the Alberta dig is especially interested in that story and she shows it to another man at the dig site. Back at FBI headquarters, Team Sculett appears before Kersh, Skinner and Follmer. This meeting has a different tone from the earlier one. Alvin discloses that Agent Comer was undercover to infiltrate a cult threatening Agent Fox Mulder. Follmer also claims Mulder may already be dead and they were trying to confirm that information. Scully leaves the meeting and goes home. Monica brings William home to Dana. The alien artifact wants to be with the baby too; it flies across the room and hovers over William. Is he controlling it?

John races over to Scully’s apartment. Reyes tries to explain William’s connection to the alien artifact but Doggett has some doubts. (Shocking, I know.) Team Scules (Reyly?) drive away with William while John confronts Alberta Woman, who has been staking out Dana’s apartment. In the battle of gun vs. car, the vehicle wins and Doggett is left for dead. Scully and Monica go to the Lone Gunmen, knowing William will be safe with them. (Yep, it’s Three Men and a Baby.) By the time Team Reyly return to Dana’s apartment, Skinner is on the scene and Doggett is hospital-bound. Scully immediately heads back to the Lone Gunmen, but they get ambushed by Alberta Woman who is about to take out Byers, permanently…

Sestra Professional: 

We've been away for a while, so it's kind of nice to see something hasn't changed in this topsy-turvy world. That's about the most complimentary I can be about the opening of this two-parter. Mythology episodes used to be compelling chapters in the ongoing story. Now they're these eye-rolling, been-there-done-that pieces that must be slogged through. And they're two-parters to boot, which means the already well-worn plot gets stretched out to the point at which random threads stick out. I don't think it's just cause Mulder and/or Cigarette-Smoking Man aren't currently on the canvas either.

 

Season 9 had sort of transformed into a mashup of The X-Files and The Twilight Zone. And it was working for the show, for the most part. Now we're back in FBI-vs.-those-attached-to-the-X-files mode again. It would be refreshing for everyone to be on the same page for a change.

 

They're not just words: Poor Scully. "They're all waiting for you" used to pertain to Mulder and his activities. Now it's become Dana's proverbial cross to bear. She'd like to know who or what is being investigated and won't say everything she knows because of it.  The FBI administrators are said to have a sense of their power. Oh well, maybe they should, considering what their overall mission is supposed to be.

Doggett gets to utter the best line in the episode when an allegedly dead man can not be found. "It happens every day, at least it does on the X-files." Brad Follmer threatens John, while Walter Skinner is falling mute once again. What might have been a better way to deal with the situation -- especially with the need for stretching the story out for two episodes -- would have been for Skinner to talk with Doggett about the supposition that Fox Mulder might have been rubbed out. OK, maybe they're not sure yet about telling Scully, but keeping John in the dark seems unnecessary. The extra script time building up to Dana finding out that news could have been better spent with some discussion about if and how they were going to tell her.

 

Reyes should have been clued in too, because Season 9 Monica's just smart as a tack. She understands that the markings are from scripture around the world. Scully also points out that science also plays an important part in the rubbings. And just to drive the point home, there's the overarching suggestion that "everything mankind believes in would come into question." OK, aliens know more than we do about religion and science. I consider that just a given at this point in the story. (But by the way, the aliens may be more knowledgable, but they sure crash a lot of ships.)

 

The question of what's going on with William is definitely legit, though. As little as we wanted Scully's child to be the center of the show's universe going forward, right now it's the only interesting thread left to pull from that unraveling fabric.

 

Your son ... has to die: Comer might have been an acceptable temporary stand-in for Mulder if the show hadn't shot his wad far too quickly. The agent had been undercover for six months, obviously dealing with a lot of stuff Scully, Doggett and Reyes wouldn't be privy to -- if they weren't stealing information from the organization they work for. That gives me a seed to plant for fan-fiction writers. What if Comer eventually becomes the character Neal McDonough played in Project Blue Book -- schemer General James Harding.

 

Anyway, why did Comer go that far? Was it because he was gulping the Kool-Aid after so many months with the cult? Or because he's part of the more nebulous, more skilled and thusly more dangerous faction of liars the FBI has become? They're now keeping things from people just because they don't think they can handle them. And the ongoing theory that Mulder's situation has been any more dangerous than that of Dana and William is ridiculous. The baby is constantly facing threat of elimination, and so is anyone around him.

Whatever you do, don't worry: The Lone Gunmen are also shadows of their former selves. They fail far more than they succeed. What did it take, a good two minutes for the trio to fail at protecting the precious cargo they had been entrusted with? Jeez, at least give them a misguided attempt at getting the job done before they fail so completely and miserably. 

 

So when I feel I'm being too hard on "Provenance," I think back at what these mythology episodes used to be able to accomplish, with our heroes not always winning but not losing to the point at which it's just embarrassing. And as a result, the dressing-down of the storyline seems like not nearly enough.

Guest star of the week: McDonough. Sestra Am is right. No matter how much TV you watch, you're probably familiar with his work. And you probably like him. In fact, I like him so much I'm giving him the kudos just because he's on the canvas. I mentioned Comer's journey might make for one particular great fan-fiction idea, but considering McDonough's number of credits, it's easy to draw parallels to a lot of his other roles too.

X-Files S9E8: Repeatedly getting under their skin

Sestra Amateur: 

In Novi, Virginia, it’s Terry Pruit’s turn to share in group. Which group, you ask? AA? NA? Based on stereotypes, I’m leaning toward court-ordered anger management. Except for Terry, these men are a pessimistic bunch. Victor Dale Potts suffers from nightmares and sees visions, like the one of buddy Ed Kelso standing in front of him, skinned alive.

Five days later, FBI Agent Monica Reyes has the case file for poor dead Victor, who was the one actually skinned alive. She calls Agent Dana Scully and Agent John Doggett to the morgue to help her with this particular investigation. Monica knows more but she’s not being very forthcoming with her partners. They head to Novi and meet with local police detective Van Allen. Reyes wants to hear from Dr. Lisa Holland, who led the group session. She doesn’t have nice things to say about Ed, Victor’s buddy from group. Van Allen thinks he’s seen Monica before but she denies it.

Terry works with Ed at the meat packing plant. Clearly they don’t get along, but Ed actually seems to scare Terry. Scully’s doing her own research and finds a similar murder that occurred in 1960. She interviews the now-84-year-old coroner named Bertram Mueller and learns the then-sheriff committed suicide after the skinned body was found. Dana also learns there was a series of murders committed back then, not just the one John Doe.

Terry thinks Ed is stalking him at work and is ready to defend himself. Too bad Pruit gets knocked unconscious, stripped and strung up by his feet. Of course things get much, much worse for poor Terry, who at least tried to change for the better. Meanwhile, Reyes goes to the church to see Dr. Holland, but runs into a skinless man instead. Turns out, she’s just having a nightmare. John wakes her up (he was in the next room, don’t get any ideas) to tell her about Pruit's murder. Seeing his skinned body freaks out Monica and she bolts from the crime scene. Scully arrives and shows Reyes the 1960 case file. And John almost pees his pants when he realizes skinless Terry is still alive! 

Doggett arrests Ed, who is actually running from something else. During his interview, Monica sees something redeemable in Kelso when he cries over his friend’s death. John doesn’t like Reyes connecting with their suspect. Detective Van Allen cuts Ed loose because he has an alibi. While leaving the police station, Kelso has a vision of a skinned Holland. Meanwhile, Dana’s been very busy. She had two bodies from the 1960 case exhumed and learned Victor Potts and Terry Pruit were born on the same dates that someone was skinned alive in 1960. That’s some speedy super-sleuthing, Agent Scully. Reyes thinks Ed will be Victim No. 3 and she’s right. Doggett finds what’s left of Kelso on the table.

John has a bone to pick with Van Allen, but Monica refocuses Doggett's attention. Reyes thinks the souls of the men are the same. She describes Kelso’s remains even though she hadn’t seen his body at the scene. Monica is also sure there will be a fourth victim. Team Johnica head to a nearby coal mine where they find newspaper articles from 1868 and 1909 along with a sheriff’s skeleton. Looks like that one committed suicide too. Turns out, this all started over a mining claim dispute from 100-plus years ago. Four men scammed and killed a fifth man over it. Monica finds the skins -- some old, some fresh -- and then the culprit: Detective Van Allen. He points out how she always fails when she tries to stop him. Van Allen was the man skinned alive during the original land dispute and he’s destined to keep repeating history.

Reyes thinks Dr. Holland is Victim No. 4 and warns her away from the murderous detective just in time. Lisa makes a run for it and is saved by Monica, who shoots a very surprised Van Allen. Guess she didn’t fail this time. Dana and John still aren’t completely on board with Reyes' reincarnated connection to the case, but she believes in it completely. Too bad Van Allen dies … and the cycle appears to begin again.

Sestra Professional: 

This X-file should be sub-categorized "Not-for-the-Squeamish-file." Every once in a while we run across one of these, although this particular script by supervising producer David Amann could be cross-classified in the Twilight Zone file as well as the "Sanguinarium" file. That's the tag I give to competition for yuckiest X-file. Although there are other candidates over almost 8 1/2 seasons, Season 4's sixth episode always stands out to me for most memorable blood and tissue loss.

 

Season 9 may not be doing much for Dana, but we're getting a lot more insight into Monica Reyes and John Doggett -- and they're pretty interesting people. Fortunately they're quite different from our original leads, Mulder and Scully, even though they have similar drive and intelligence. It makes them easy to root for and side with, even when they don't agree with their co-workers.

 

Might want to watch your step, we got some blood on the floor: That doesn't mean we wouldn't like Monica to let John and Dana in on what's going on earlier than she does. They've certainly earned our respect, so perhaps she should have the same confidence in them as well. Maybe she's just flustered by not knowing as much about the case as she usually does at the start -- that gut feeling she's always following. Reyes was either not initially getting that vibe in Novi or was trying her level best to ignore it. I tend to think it was the latter. 

 

Although not scripted as well as last week's "John Doe," it's nice to follow up an episode focused on Doggett that showed those in his orbit trying to help him with one exhibiting a similar pattern for Monica. That, of course, doesn't thrill the legion of viewers still tuning in at this point to see Scully. But if their minds were as open as Reyes', maybe they would come around by this time. Ah, who am I kidding? Oh well, there's enough of Dana pinpointing exactly what's going on scientifically to keep Gillian Anderson's fan base engaged as well.

You can't stop it, you never do: At some point, we were hellbound to get to the point at which Reyes and Doggett's differing viewpoints came to a head. Even finding out all the victims were born on the dates of the previous victims' deaths didn't sway John beyond pointing out they're hunting for a crafty killer. We do kind of expect the concept of karmic revenge to be Monica's terrain, but maybe I've got that backwards. Maybe this is Reyes' origin story. Her facility for such reasoning could come from the fact that she's been through the pattern over and over again.

The makeup team led by Cheri Montesanto did an excellent job on "Hellbound." I don't get bugged out by a lot of television episodes, but those were the most advanced skin peels I've ever seen and they were horrifying. By the way, the bodies reportedly were made by spraying a mannequin with a layer of latex, then peeling that off and applying the layers to mannequins that resembled the actors. Fake veins were applied over the moist-looking fake skin. In The Complete X-Files, Robert Patrick gave full credit to Montesanto and the special-effects makeup team: "They literally did a 36-hour day to pull some of that off," he said.

Guest star of the week: The only non-recurring character able to keep pace with the makeup and effects squad this week was James McDonnell as Detective Van Allen. A veteran of episodic television for over two decades, he found a truly meaty role on The X-Files.

X-Files S9E7: Meet John Doe

Sestra Amateur: 

Agent John Doggett is having a bad day. He woke up in Mexico (or Hollywood’s version of Mexico) without papers, one of his sneakers and his memory. (Maybe the episode should have been called "Juan Doe.") He very quickly loses his freedom too. 

The next day, John finds someone in jail who speaks English. Doggett only learns he’s in a town named Sangradura. He has flashes of his old life – happy memories of his son, Luke – while he sleeps. Eight days later, his new “friend” Domingo Salmeron pays for John’s freedom. Doggett, who apparently can’t grow more than stubble in “eight” days, doesn’t react well to being a slave. He disarms his captor and walks away. (Too bad he doesn’t have an alien tracking implant.) 

John finds his mugger – the man who stole his shoe – and tries to get back some of his other property. The opportunist gives him a tiny silver skull. Doggett returns to his “owner” and joins the payroll. John acts like he doesn’t know what the skull means, but gives Doggett money for a hotel room. Inside the room, John does a full body inspection. He sees fresh scars on his forehead and a Marine tattoo on his arm. A cigar-smoking man outside the hotel (no, not that CSM) watches and waits … and he's wearing a bracelet of silver skulls.

Four days later, Agent Dana Scully and Assistant Director Walter Skinner show Deputy Director Alvin Kersh proof of life: Doggett crossing a border in Laredo, Texas. Kersh cancels their missing agent task force and leaves John’s fate in the hands of Mexican authorities. Agent Monica Reyes continues her investigation in San Antonio, Texas. She interviews “Pillar of the Community” Mariano Molina in the presence of his attorney. Molina likely knows more than he is admitting, but his attorney ends the interview. 

Back in Mexico, Doggett finally gets to a phone. He reaches out to the U.S. Marines and uses his tattoo and physical description to narrow down his own name. Unfortunately, John has to disconnect because local popo arrive. Doggett goes to Domingo’s garage where Salmeron tries to convince John he’s a wanted man. Domingo’s right-hand man Nestor wants to get rid of Doggett and meets with the cigar-smoking man, who reveals John is a federal agent.

Scully meets with Reyes in Texas and reports that Skinner is on his way to Mexico. Dana also shows Monica a BOLO related to Doggett’s phone call to the Marines. Somehow, they suspect amnesia is a factor. Back in the garage, Nestor tries to kill John, who gets the upper hand – and takes off part of the would-be killer’s foot. Domingo arrives and he’s beyond pissed. He calls Doggett “desaparecido,” one of the Cartel’s disappeared ones. They own the town and took away John’s memory. John suffers another painful memory attack, enabling Domingo to get control and knock Doggett unconscious. Meanwhile, in Mexico, Reyes bribes her way to a dead man with similar scars on his forehead.

It’s Day Thirteen and Domingo goes to see the silver-skull man. With glowing eyes and thumbs pressed into Domingo’s forehead, the cigar smoker “sees” what Salmeron knows. And Monica finally finds John in Domingo’s garage. He doesn’t remember her but at least he believes her. Too bad the corrupt Mexican police have surrounded them. He asks about his son, Luke, at the worst possible time, but the shock helps Doggett regain part of his memory. Mexican police try to smoke them out but Reyes throws the smoke bomb right back at them. 

A shootout begins and it’s very Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid until Team Johnica drives through the wall in a bus. They buy enough time for Skinner and the good Mexican Federales to arrive and save the day. John finds the cigar-smoking man and demands his memories back. Luckily, he starts to remember on his own. (How? By sheer force of will?) Silver-skull man doesn’t understand why Doggett wants to keep so many painful memories. John chooses to focus on the happy one of Luke that recurred during his ordeal and helped restore his memories.

Sestra Professional: 

Before I forget, "John Doe" is my favorite example of what The X-Files could be without Mulder and Scully at the center. I totally understand a lot of viewers weren't interested in that. The show was built upon and flourished under the premise of Fox and Dana vs. the world for over seven seasons. A large number of fans don't want to see it beyond that. 

But while I treasure those episodes and all the trials and tribulations we survived vicariously with them, I consider the basic concept to have a much wider scope. It could be vital without Sculder at the center of the universe, akin to programs like ER and NYPD Blue after their biggest names departed.

 

So here we have a wonderfully atmospheric episode written by Vince Gilligan and visualized with gritty style by co-executive producer Michelle MacLaren in her directorial debut and the show's esteemed cinematographer Bill Roe. It's too bad it was MacLaren's only such credit for The X-Files because I would have appreciated more opportunities to see her particular flair on this canvas.

 

It's a good point on the timeline for John Doggett to be going through this ordeal. The circumstances in which he loses his memory actually give us more insight into the man and his personal history, which we've only touched upon since he entered the fold about 15 months ago. It's an opportunity Robert Patrick jumps on and feasts upon, easily his most relaxed performance to date. I'll add that he looks great too when taken out of his tailored suits and poured into a t-shirt, jeans and only one shoe.

I'm the victim here: We're far afield of even where the ninth season began, and considering we're coming off the flat -- the most kind description I could give -- "Lord of the Flies," that is a most welcome change. After giving Doggett enough time to carve out his place in the canvas, we finally find out more about his back story through the brief memory flashbacks.

We've had forays into a Twilight Zone-like existence this year and this episode certainly fits that mold. You know how they say "you can't change who you are?" It's never more apparent than Doggett in his amnesiac state. He's still a straight shooter, a man of his word, but tough as nails like a good FBI agent/Marine. John might be figuring out who he is bit by bit, but we recognize every move his makes as true to his character.

 

Yo soy ha-ha: It's almost two weeks before we see the ungrainy action back at the Bureau. Forty agents -- including Reyes -- have been on the case of the missing agent in Texas, they really could have used a Doggett apparently, because they came up with less than nothing. Thank goodness John realizes he could call America for information about himself under the guise of the missing Marine. His tattoo reads "We shall not forget." Oh, the irony.

I marvel at Scully utilizing a Mulder tactic from the sixth season by taking trips and investigating without Kersh's knowledge and approval. That leads to a nice scene between Dana and Monica, who must feel a lot better about herself after being able to recognize the name of a Mexican calling card. 

I'll take the bad as long as I can remember the good: The Doggett-Reyes bond has strengthened in subtle ways this season and "John Doe" provides another opportunity for that to happen. Their back story extends from before they were on the show to Luke's initial disappearance, and that gives great tension to the bigger moments in the late scene -- when the still-amnesiac John distrusts and subdues her, and then the keenly felt agony of Doggett having to relive the murder of his son all over again.

Guest star of the week: It's a bit strange to give kudos to someone we don't really see who doesn't have any lines, but Barbara Patrick as John Doggett's wife is inspired casting. So with apologies to the intensely creepy Cigar-Smoking Man (Zitto Kazann), I'm going with her. Her mere presence adds another layer of critical emotion as the show starts to bring the story of John's son to the surface.

X-Files S9E6: MAILER-DAEMON: Users unknown

Sestra Amateur: 

Remember the phrase "Trust No 1?" It’s Fox Mulder’s mantra – and probably his computer password for everything – as well as today’s title. So that means we’re about to endure a Mulder-related episode. Speaking of enduring, we open with a Dana Scully voiceover in which she glorifies her relationship with Mulder as she (presumably) talks to their son, William. I really wish I knew why my brain just can’t/won’t focus on the words during these voiceovers.

Scully is impatiently waiting for someone by a set of train tracks while an unknown person watches on a grainy video feed. The scene then cuts to Dana taking William to a coffee shop (why are her footfalls so noticeable? It’s like they put microphones by her boot heels) so she can pore over her anonymous emails from Mulder while using the Internet café’s public Wi-Fi. We’re forced to endure additional voiceovers as Scully reads and replies to Fox’s email because the writers and director don’t trust us to read the screen. 

Dana realizes another mother in the shop has left her child alone to argue with a man outside. Later, at Quantico, Scully re-reads a printed version of Fox’s email. Luckily, she's interrupted by Agents John Doggett and Monica Reyes, who need to find Mulder so a source will disclose the identities of other Super Soldiers. John is surprised Dana isn’t jumping at the chance to get Fox home again. Clearly, she still has trust issues.

Later that night, Scully sees the same woman from the coffee shop and witnesses a custody dispute. She stupidly leaves William alone to handle it instead of calling local police, but luckily nothing happens to Dana’s baby. Scully takes the woman -- Patti -- home with her and they bond over the pathetic-ness of their personal lives. (If Patti looks familiar, it’s because she’s played by Kate and Allie's Allison Smith.) Meanwhile, Team Johnica are on stakeout where Patti's husband works, hoping to get to the Super Soldier source without Dana’s assistance. The husband’s coworker watches Doggett and Reyes on the surveillance monitor.

Back to the grainy opening image of Scully waiting impatiently by the train tracks. Monica and John are in the same area, as if on another stakeout. The scene then cuts to Team Johnica’s stakeout location outside the Super Soldier source building. They follow when Patti’s husband leaves for the day. Inside Dana’s apartment, Patti picks up William while Doggett calls Scully to warn her Patti’s husband just entered Dana’s building. Scully holds Patti at gunpoint while John subdues the husband. For some reason, Reyes is back to calling Dana “Agent Scully.” The three of them interrogate the couple and learn Scully – and William – are being watched. Hubby works for the NSA (National Security Agency). Their daughter, Joy, has abilities similar to William’s. Hubby knows all about our three heroes and William’s psychic ability because his government job is to spy on them. He also claims Fox Mulder is the only one who can connect everything. 

They get interrupted by Hubby’s supervisor, played by Terry O’Quinn, who has been in everything, including the X-Files movie Fight the Future. (I don’t think he’s supposed to be the same character, because FBI Special Agent in Charge Michaud was blown to bits.) He knows Dana has email contact with Fox and arranges a meeting with Scully. (At least she remains on a first-name basis with Reyes.) The caller directs her to take a car and drive like a jerk so no one follows her. She switches cars, probably wishing she had a hands-free headset. After arriving to the middle of nowhere, Dana meets with the Shadow Man and he blows up the rental car. Scully still doesn’t register how much he knows about her (your natural hair color?!?) and considering she doesn’t recognize him, he’s definitely not supposed to be the same guy from Fight the Future. (“Hey, you look just like my blown-up boss’ twin brother!”) He gives her a deadline for contacting Mulder -- and a new rental car.

The next morning, Doggett confronts Dana about what’s happened. He points out how the Shadow Man could probably reach Fox on his own. Scully admits she notified Mulder, who is arriving on the midnight train to … no, not Georgia, probably Virginia. Also on the stakeout is Patti’s hubby, who points a gun at Dana. Actually, he points it at the Shadow Man, who shoots his coworker, gets shot by John and falls onto the tracks at the worst … possible … time. The train operator gets the order to keep the train moving, to Scully’s chagrin. Of course, if Fox was really on that train, he would have jumped off, especially because of Dana's involvement in gunplay. 

Good news for the Shadow Man, he’s a Super Soldier so the gunshot – and the train – didn’t kill him. Scully learns someone jumped from the train. Team Johnica go looking for the man in a rock quarry and think they spot Mulder who keeps running (see? I told you he would have jumped). Dana arrives and finds the Shadow Man and he is very, very pissed. He’s affected by the iron(?) in the rocks surrounding Scully, goes all Silver Surfer and gets pulled into the rock. I guess now they know how to fight the Super Soldiers. Too bad I zoned out during the final voiceover, but that’s probably because I was reading the screen instead of listening.

Sestra Professional: 

When did Mulder and Scully's relationship turn into dime-store paperback fodder? Ugh, those voiceovers, those emails. This is not the way these two have ever related to each other. I feel like I'm watching an episode of thirtysomething (truth be told, that's not a show I  watched, it's just profiling). This is worse than what happened to Moonlighting after David and Maddie finally got it on. (Now that is a show I followed religiously, even through an unending parade of repeats.)

 

The Moonlighting reference seems pretty applicable to the ongoing X-Files run actually. Show creator Chris Carter and executive producer and Frank Spotnitz are the series' No. 1 and 2 guys, but they've concocted something here that feels so far afield from who their protagonists have been for eight-plus years that my head may explode like the Shadow Man's. Yes, we're used to a certain amount of overwriting in the voiceovers, lines akin to, "And in that moment, you will be blessed, and stricken. For the truest truths are what hold us together or keep us painfully, desperately apart." But seriously, is Dana talking to William, or is this Jor-El talking to Superman in the Fortress of Solitude? Are Carter and Spotnitz, expecting the series to end after this season, submitting this script not for Emmy consideration, but to Harlequin in hopes of a new career in romance novels?

I'm physically shaking right now seeing your words: I know how you feel, Scully. My stomach is in knots almost to the point of heaving. "Dearest Dana" ... blech. This is not the way Fox Mulder talks, has ever talked, will ever talk as far as we know. Scully's trust issues obviously don't extend to getting email so clearly not written in Fox's voice, yet she's reading every word over and over again like it was a note she was passed in high-school biology. Even the most ardent shipper has to admit this kind of tripe is not what's so magical about their relationship. 

 

Mulder says he's lonely and he's uncertain of his ability to live like that. From what we know of Fox, he lives for living like that. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if it wasn't Mulder vs. the world. Funny thing is, there are elements for a pretty taut episode if it wasn't for those voiceovers and emails. But they take me so far out of this episode that I can't find a way back into it. I'm also not buying Dana not trusting the two people who have risked life and limb on more than one occasion to help them. It couldn't be because she's starting to enjoy the type of martyrdom we've been hanging around Mulder's neck, could it?

Strangely enough, the two newcomers are faring much better in Carter and Spotnitz's hands. My affection for and attachment to Doggett and Reyes are definitely growing. Note that Monica doesn't want to compromise the possibility of Mulder's return. That is her primary concern. Put a pin in that (and all the other times I point out her motivations), because I'm building a case for later. 

It's a con job: I'll buy there's a danger to Mulder, but isn't the one to William -- and by extension, Scully -- far greater? The consensus seems to be that Fox is in greater danger because he has the capability of figuring things out. Weak. Granted, the show had to come up with some way to cover when David Duchovny didn't want to return, but they should have come up with a better way to do that. Like he actually saw something or is in possession of a crucial piece of information. Why Mulder or his son must die remains a mystery. They don't seem like mutually exclusive options at this point.

"Trust No 1" finally gives us a measure of focus on Scully, something that's been lacking for most of the ninth season. The way she has to follow the mystery man's instructions is compelling. Dana's being watched -- and apparently has been for a long time -- by who knows how many agencies with all forms of technology. Director Tony Wharmby has the proverbial field day utilizing street cameras to raise the level of intrigue.

The Shadow Man ends up voicing words that legions of shippers were not longing to hear -- one lonely night Dana invited Fox to her bed. That kind of shoots down reams of fan fiction from the first eight years. And it points out the distinct differences between that morsel of information and the way the voiceovers and emails deliver more melodramatic Gone with the Wind-level folderol capped with "Until then, I remain forever yours, Dana."

The train station denouement is action-packed and riveting, but we haven't had enough time and space with the National Security Agent to have more of a reaction to his death other than to consider it could have been Mulder's. The quarry scene ends up providing more substance to the ongoing storyline and actually feels more like a glory-days X-Files episode. Of course, Scully gets a bit lucky with the reaction caused by the quarry's iron compound, but it's not a deal breaker.

Guest star of the week: Terrance Quinn. That was an interesting way to go about his billing in the opening credits, aimed at not giving away the fact that the Shadow Man was played by the Millennium regular and incinerated Fight the Future agent. And although it was pretty easy to pick up on the fact that he was Quinn early on, he greatly added to the gravitas of the goings-on. Not to mention the fact that he conveyed one spectacularly unique death scene.

X-Files S9E5: Oh lord, where's the insect repellent?

Sestra Amateur: 

Who had to read William Golding’s classic novel Lord of the Flies in school? That story depicts what might happen when school-aged boys are stranded on an island without adult supervision – or civilization – to keep them in check. The X-Files may be using the title but the script goes off in a typically different direction.

Aaron Paul’s face is the first one we see in this episode. Makes you wonder whether he and Vince Gilligan crossed paths here before they moved on to Breaking Bad, possibly the high point of both careers. Here, Paul plays David Winkle, aka Sky Commander Winky, the torturer to torturee Bill, aka Cap’n Dare, as they film a Jackass-type stunt show called The Dumb Ass Show. Dare’s girlfriend, Natalie (Samaire Armstrong)  briefly provides the voice of reason but she bows to crowd pressure. Unfortunately for Bill, his face caves in during the last stunt. 

Agents John Doggett and Monica Reyes respond to the Medical Examiner’s Office in Ocean County, New Jersey, where the coroner can’t -- and won’t -- explain what killed Dumbass Bill. Team Johnica also can’t explain why there’s a swarm of flies coming out of Bill’s eye. They call in Agent Dana Scully, who verifies Cap’n Dare was protected from impact trauma by his helmet. His injuries came from within. Dana gets assistance from an unsolicited source, Dr. Rocky Bronzino, who Sestra Pro will probably despise because he’s from Rutgers University, not because of his “winning” personality. He’s brought in as the entomology expert. Yep, he’s a bug man.

At Garfield High School, Natalie is lost in thought as creepy loner Dylan Lokensgard stares at her. Sky Commander Winky and his Camera Dude (that’s his sidekick’s actual name credit) interrupt her quiet moment to demand she contribute to Cap’n Dare’s memorial video. That gets Dylan’s attention. He relates to former Pink Floyd member Syd Barrett so tread lightly, David Winkle. Of course, David humiliates him in front of everyone and the cafeteria antics get both of them in trouble. I’m sure it doesn’t help Dylan that the principal is Anne Lokensgard, Dylan’s mother.

Doggett and Reyes watch the video from David and Bill’s day of dumbass-ery. Monica notices Dylan is the only one there not partaking in the “fun.” Mrs. Lokensgard, played by Jane Lynch (so many familiar faces in this one), brings Sky Commander Winky to Team Johnica for an interview, but David has trouble sitting still. It’s not because he feels guilty, but because someone inflicted a “dumb ass” tramp stamp on his lower back. In the Lokensgard house, Mom tries to lay down the law but Dylan won’t listen. He retreats to his bedroom, which is a Syd Barrett shrine, and moons over a picture of Natalie while ignoring his mother. Meanwhile, flies swarm around his window.

Scully tells Reyes and Doggett that the flies that ate Bill’s brain were all female. Monica agrees it’s a biological attack and thinks Dylan somehow controls the flies. Natalie goes to Dylan’s house the next morning, but Mom won’t let her in. Anne tries to talk to her son about how his body is going through “changes.” He refuses to listen and heads to school.

Dana and Rocky go to the crime scene. Turns out, Dr. Bronzino is a big fan of pheromones. We really should introduce him to Dr. Bambi Berenbaum (Season 3, Episode 12's "War of the Coprophages"). His pickup lines aren’t working on Scully. His sensors pick up Dylan as he pedals past them, but Dana and Rocky are too busy looking for flies in the sky to notice him. Dylan catches up to Natalie at school. (How apropos she drives a Volkswagen Beetle.) They seem to like each other. The morning bell ruins the moment, but Team Johnica’s arrival probably would have had the same effect. Anne arrives and tries to end the interview. Dylan reacts by getting fly-swarmed. This is why kids shouldn’t be forced attend the same school where their parents work.

Reyes is convinced Dylan is controlling the bugs. Scully is carrying samples from Dylan’s fly swarm and they tip the scales on Bronzino’s pheromone machine. He claims it’s impossible for a boy to emit insect pheromones, but nothing is impossible on this show. Natalie unexpectedly shows up at Dylan’s house, climbs through his bedroom window and kisses him. Too bad he somehow causes her mouth to bleed and that sends her out of the house in a panic. Sky Commander Winky and his posse then arrive and kidnap “Bug Boy.” Dylan crashes the car by showing what’s actually in his mouth. (Poor Natalie.)

Dana and Rocky go to the Lokensgard home, which is empty except for the presence of insect pheromones. John and Monica find David’s flipped car on the roadway. He and his posse are trapped inside and covered in webbing. Bronzino continues to bug Scully, so she leaves him to go to the crash scene. Reyes goes to Natalie’s house to ask for her help but Dylan shows up there too. He claims he killed Bill to stop him from killing Natalie during the final dumbass stunt. Rocky, who Dana left alone in the Lokensgard house, meets Anne who attacks and webs him. (That’s no way to treat a partner, Scully!) The bug thing is clearly a hereditary condition. Doggett gets to Natalie’s house and finds Reyes trapped in a cocoon. Dylan has taken Natalie to his own home, where Anne finally explains why he’s not like the other kids. 

Dana searches the Lokensgard attic and rescues Bronzino from a cocoon. This may be the worst-scripted doctoring moment for Scully because Rocky is talking to her, has a beating heart, a pulse and a smile on his face but she still performs CPR on him. Team Johnica are there to witness it. Three other bodies were found hidden in the attic, including Dylan’s missing father, whom he thought abandoned him. The Lokensgards escape and head for parts unknown but Dylan sends a final “I Love You” message to Natalie written in fireflies. Hopefully, no bugs, teens or adults were harmed in the making of this episode.

Sestra Professional: 

And so it goes ... from one of the best episodes of the original run to one of the worst. We've long lamented that teen storylines are not The X-Files' strong suit. These tales have been pastiches of perfunctory teenage experience mingled with some kind of (I assume unintentional) writers' in-retrospect condescension. In other words, not exactly capturing the nature of the awkward adolescents' experience as a whole or William Golding's novel in specific.

 

This kid had crap for brains, the flies just couldn't resist: So for probably the last time, I sit down to watch the fifth episode of the ninth season. I'm quite convinced this will not be worthy of my time during future rewatches of the series. I'm backed up by some pretty sketchy plot points, not-so-special effects and performances across the board. There's no character enhancement or nuances, and so I'll let this one fly away the minute I wrap up guest star of the week honors. If there are any.

 

Perhaps the least damning thing I can say about this Thomas Schnauz-penned episode is that with the "Dumb Ass Show" that's the investigation's catalyst, a fairly good recreation is offered up of MTV's stupid-stunt spectacle Jackass, which was popular with its target audience at this time in our series' original run.

Otherwise there's not much to be said for "The Lord of the Flies." It's certainly not representative of what was becoming the Twilight Zone-esque model for Season 9. It's not scary or tension-filled or even funny. I've long been an S9 supporter -- in truth, I prefer it to the seventh season -- but this ep does a lot of what bothers me about S7. It seems to just be going through the motions. In short, it just bugs me.

I glance at them for amusement: With a lot of spare time while watching this, I looked long and hard for a continuation of the simmering connection we saw developing between John and Monica in "4-D" (S9E4). The closest I could find was Reyes eyeing Doggett sideways when he mentioned peeking at suggestive ads in the back of a magazine.

But at least someone got something out of this episode, namely Vince Gilligan (credited as executive producer, but otherwise not involved in this chaos). As Sestra Am alluded to, we can almost chart the course toward the creation of his Breaking Bad franchise over the course of this rewatch. He's stockpiling for the future! There was Bryan Cranston in "Drive" (S6E2) and now Aaron Paul here. 

Someone is directing the biology: Ooooh, the kid's got a Bob Dylan poster in the midst of Syd Barrett shrine, which I guess is supposed to make us feel he's worthy of our empathy because he's so deeeeeep that he knows Barrett was a huge influence on Dylan. I see nothing in his demeanor that suggests he's gotten much out of his namesake's lyrics. Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it. Because this ep is Dullsville, USA, I'm going to tell a story about when I was a young teen. I was obsessed by the idea of getting a particular shirt of The Doors. I don't remember being a big fan of the group, I didn't have any records by them at the time, I just wanted the shirt because I found the colorful imagery cool. So I'm reversing my course and giving him a pass on the Dylan poster because it could be the same thing.

 

The attempted heartwarming scene between Dylan and Natalie is a perfect example of what I was referring to earlier. What a clunky piece of tripe. I've seen better love scenes in a knockoff of an '80s teen film's knockoff's knockoff. In other words, I'd rather watch a Brazilian princess try to save the rain forest by lambada-ing in 1990's The Forbidden Dance.

 

Mothers are women too: I'm almost sure I know the answer, but I'm willing to put this to a vote: Is Dr. Rocky Bronzino the most annoying guest character in the history of this series? This has little to nothing to do with his Rutgers background. How have we've progressed from the likes of smart-and-sexy Dr. Bambi to the guy with rocks in both his head and his name? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

I wish I could enjoy Mama's admission that she understood what was going on with her offspring all along, because Jane Lynch sells that factoid about as well as she possibly could have that late in the game. In previous seasons, this script might gave gotten a polishing that put it at least on par with the episodes we used to consider sub-par -- the clawing cats and Mexican goat suckers of the world. Maybe it's good to know there's a new low, a place where "Teso Dos Bichos" (S3E18) and "El Mundo Gira" (S4E11) don't seem as bad as they once did.

Worst guest star of the week: I can't in good conscience dole out kudos in this category, even with the presence of Aaron Paul and Jane Lynch -- two actors who have the power to give any project a boost. I'm going to have to go the opposite way. This one set the bar for guest shots back far longer than the lifespan of the average fly. Sorry, not sorry, Michael Wiseman.