Catching up with WKRP's Little Big Guy

It's that time of year when those of us raised on television equate Thanksgiving with the WKRP in Cincinnati pop-culture staple "Turkeys Away."  The seminal episode aired during the first season and while that's, by and large, the show many think of first when it comes to the series, another episode that year introduced another character who loomed large on the canvas, even though he actually only made one appearance.

I'm referring to Arthur Carlson Jr., the militant young son of the often-befuddled but always affable station owner. Little Arthur was played by Sparky Marcus, a wide-eyed fresh-faced boy seen a lot on the small screen and an occasional movie in the late '70s who also voiced Richie Rich and other characters in the early and mid-'80s. 

Today, Marcus Issoglio understandably no longer goes by Sparky. He's no longer in the acting business and he likes it that way, having been a physical therapist for over three decades. But he recalls his time on the WKRP set very fondly, and as his 19-year-old son, Aidan, has hit certain age benchmarks, it's reminded Marcus of his own unique childhood.

We've all heard many cautionary tales about child actors over the years. While Marcus has his fair share of those, he avoided the darker side of fame -- "I didn't do drugs, I didn't crash cars." But he's got plenty of horror stories about stage parents and misbehaving co-stars to go around.

It all started relatively well. At barely 6 years old, Marcus had never been on an airplane when he booked Friendly Persuasion, a 1975 TV movie starring Richard Kiley and Shirley Knight. It's one of his earliest memories, particularly the fact he was called upon to feed a goose bigger than he was on camera --- and the goose attacked him. 

He remembers filming a 1977 Christmas episode of Nancy Drew Mysteries at Universal Studios. An unknown man lurked around the set, reportedly beating up people, so Marcus was walked to the car after hours every night. But that might have seemed like nothing compared to what happened on The Bad News Bears' short-lived TV adaptation in 1979-80. "You can't put seven or eight prepubescents in the same room and expect no problems," he laughed. 

The WKRP in Cincinnati casting process wasn't quite the cattle call he experienced for other shows. "They were looking for a certain look or size," Marcus recalled. "I'm not kidding, I saw some three-headed kids in other interviews ... I mean, auditions."

The half-hour comedy about a ragtag group of radio station employees was markedly different than other shows he had been on. On Monday, he got the script. By Thursday, they were doing a trial run and taping was on Friday. 

"Doing a live show is so much more of a rush than a taped show," Marcus said. "Every moment of the day is planned. ... There's one stage you film on and one you block on. You end up learning everybody's lines. The jokes aren't even funny to us anymore. They're funny to the audience."

In fact, the more humorous things that happened were off camera, such as when Tim Reid's Venus Flytrap picked him up by his uniform. In rehearsal, when the angry Venus grabbed Little Arthur's lapels, they ripped off. "We were laughing so hard," Marcus said.

To fans, the subject matter may make it hard to believe the actors were having so much fun. The script by show creator Hugh Wilson might be deemed politically incorrect by today's standards. The 11-year-old talks down to the disc jockey, even referring to the Black man as "Boy." 

"Truthfully, I was so naive, I had to be coached on that," Marcus said. "It was tough for Tim. He was so gracious about it. ... I'm not that person. It couldn't get any further away from me, although I always wanted to go to military school. I didn't have that mentality."

Since then, the barometer of political correctness has certainly changed and a script with that kind of confrontation might not be aired today.  "The censors wouldn't let get through now," Marcus said. "It flipped, the social context [changed], but you can still say bad words. How did they put it on Star Trek?  Now you can use 'colorful metaphors.'"

Even Loni Anderson's normally calm, cool and collected Jennifer Marlowe got physical with Marcus after Little Arthur rooted through her pocketbook. In character, she gave him a good throttling, but all of it was very carefully blocked out. "It looked worse than it ever was," Marcus said. "It was nothing."

That was a lot different than what Marcus experienced on other shows. On the '70s cult hit Mary Hartman Mary Hartman, he played Jimmy Joe Jeeter, whom Marcus described as a "bit of a butthead." And although traditionally shows did everything in rehearsal the way they would for taping, it got a little bit different when TV dad Dabney Coleman had to spank him in one episode. "When we recorded, he unleashed on me," Marcus remembered.

WKRP dad Gordon Jump went a lot easier on him. "The key to the episode was the father-son relationship," he said. "I was a big fan of the show, so I was so happy to be able to play that role."

After a serious talk with his father at the end of the episode, they got to have some fun on camera with the toys in the Big Guy's desk. The scene was capped off with Arthur and Little Arthur throwing foam basketballs into a hoop on the station manager's door. They'd been working on that shot all week without success. "We actually hit it," Marcus remembered of the taping. "They said don't worry, that they would cut away ... but we hit it."

Marcus had such a great time with the cast that the serious nature of the subject matter didn't even sink in. He can still go on at length about Howard Hesseman being "frickin' funnier" than fans can imagine and how nice Reid and Anderson were to him. The show invited him to the wrap party when the series ended, even though he had only been on the one episode. 

"They were great. That was a child-friendly set," Marcus said. "I melded with these guys and we all bonded. It was like being with your friends. We were having a blast. It was everyone -- the crew and the director (Will Mackenzie) and the sound guy (Ken Becker). ... When I look at a show like that, you really feel the warmth, I think it's always going to translate to the screen." 

Marcus was suitably impressed by the subtle work done by members of the cast. To this day, he's tickled by Richard Sanders donning a bandage on a different body part each week as Les Nessman. In fact, he could even get credit for the bandage's placement for "Young Master Carlson." 

"I said, 'Put it on your ear,' and he did," Marcus said. "That is how you draw attention to a secondary or a tertiary character. Gordon did this thing in which he switched the pens in his pen holder, taking one out of one and putting it in the other, shticking around with it. He looked like he was lost in his own words. And that's how you make an impression."

That made it easier for Marcus to cry when tears were called for during Jump's serious talk with Little Arthur. "That was the real thing, because I had that chemistry (with Gordon)," he said.  "I don't have a trick for that. It came to me naturally. In all my years, I only had one problem on the worst movie ever made -- Goldie and the Boxer Go to Hollywood." 

Record companies in the day sent their new releases to the WKRP in Cincinnati set for promotional purposes in hopes of getting publicity on the show, so Marcus left the studio after his work was completed with a new Grease soundtrack and Gene Simmons' solo album. "Young Master Carlson" first aired on April 30, 1979, living on with the rest of the show in syndication. 

"When I think of the top five things, WKRP is one or two," he said of ranking his experience on the show. "I can't think of anything I had a better time on than that. ... I had a good time with Scatman Crothers [on 1979's animated short Banjo the Woodpile Cat]. And the Goodtime Girls [a 1989 sitcom starring Annie Potts, Lorna Patterson, Georgia Engel, Peter Scolari and Adrian Zmed]. That was a great cast. Fun times."

Being on sets was all Marcus knew during the '70s. Reminiscent of Les Nessman in the second-season episode "Baseball," Marcus missed out on a lot of things like playing sports, particularly during summer, which was "child actor season" since the kids didn't have to be in school. As he remembers it, peers who kept getting jobs just showed up, shut up and hit their marks. "I grew up with adults," he said. "I didn't relate to kids back then." 

And it increasingly took a toll on Marcus. For every fun WKRP booking, there was another that was much rougher on him, like portraying the only child on The Nancy Walker Show in 1976-77. "Nancy Walker hated me," Marcus said. "She would not talk to me, she would not look at me," he said. "That set was frigid at best, at least for me it was. I generally hung out with the crew, they were always nice to me." 

Even worse, there were "Me Too" moments that had to be dealt with while he was on the sets of Trapper John, M.D. and Goldie and the Boxer Go to Hollywood. To add injury to insult, he suffered a concussion and a split forehead while playing a 17-year-old with a hormone deficiency at age 13 on Trapper John. After the Bad News Bears, he continued doing mostly voice work -- "It doesn't matter if you have a broken arm or zits" -- until he was finished school.

Marcus' parents made him stay in the business to make money long after he had lost interest. "When I turned 18, I just said no more," he recalled. "I just said, 'You can't make me.' The day after I graduated from high school, I left home. I became a physical therapy aide and then got my license. I've been lucky, I've been working in it for 33 years."

Today, Marcus lives in a small town of 7,000 in California with his wife and son. His career occasionally comes up, like when Nancy Cartwright published a book with a picture of her and Marcus from Saturday Supercade's "Space Ace: 1984-1985") or when he was included in an awards ceremony video tribute for Freaky Friday co-star Jodie Foster. That's when he's been asked if he "goes by Sparky?" To which his answer inevitably has been, "It depends who's asking."

Although Little Arthur was mentioned often throughout the rest of WKRP's run, Marcus didn't appear on the show again. He thought he might have a chance when the show rebooted with Jump in the fold for two seasons as The New WKRP in Cincinnati in 1991. "I almost thought my phone would ring," Marcus said. "I don't know if I would have done it, though."

He doesn't often get recognized or bring up his time on television or in the movies, preferring to leave it in the past. At one point, one of Aidan's teachers called about screening Freaky Friday in class, and Marcus respectfully declined. "I said, 'Please, don't," he recalled. "I was tortured all through elementary and junior high school. You get judged on that stuff." 

So what does Marcus love as much as fans love rediscovering WKRP? In addition to being a huge fan of the New Orleans Saints, he and wife Jennifer enjoy watching shows like House, Bones and The Big Bang Theory. Although he bemoans that most of them are off the air -- the WKRP fans feel your pain -- he doesn't get so into them that he jumps on message boards or listen to podcasts about them. He doesn't have many mementos from his time in the spotlight, but he's occasionally been able to pick up a WKRP photo on eBay. 

"I haven't seen that episode in 30 years," Marcus admitted. "I'm flattered that anybody remembers. It's a different place and a different life. ... I'm fat and happy and living in northern California." -- Paige Schector

X-Files S8E11: The gift that keeps on taking

Sestra Amateur: 

Three things come to mind when I hear the title "The Gift." First, of course, is my favorite show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In that episode, Buffy learns death is her “gift” before she bites the dust at the end of Season 5. Then there is the Sam Raimi movie from 2000; Cate Blanchett’s gift -- clairvoyance -- almost gets her killed. Finally, there is the 2015 Jason Bateman thriller in which the gift can be literal (a basinet filled with disturbing presents) or figurative (the truth). I never gave it much thought either way. But in this episode, in true X-Files fashion, the gift is amazing yet nauseating.

It’s a stormy night in Squamash Township, Pennsylvania. A man with a gun enters a family home marked with blood (or red paint), shoots someone in front of the terrified residents and leaves. It’s Mulder! Do his alien captors give him furlough time to indulge in his X-file obsessions?

Doggett is driving to Squamash on a much calmer, sunnier day. He’s thinking about Fox's disappearance and bleak medical outlook. John meets with Sheriff Frey, who claims he met Mulder on a bogus missing person case prior to his disappearance. The phone records show Fox returned to Squamash the week before the events of "Within"/"Without," the first two episodes of Season 8. Doggett interviews Paul and Marie Hangemuhl, the couple Mulder helped. Flashbacks show Fox interviewing them as well. Paul lies to John by claiming Mulder never returned to the house. He admits Fox believed a story about an Indian folk legend coming to eat Marie alive. John silently takes note of the sloppy bullet hole patchwork on a wall in the house.

Doggett then searches Mulder’s apartment and feeds his fish. Whoever’s keeping them alive has gotten pretty lazy with the dusting. And who’s paying Fox’s rent these days? Mulder never struck me as the type who would (or could) pay for months upfront. The porn channel, sure. During his search, John finds a Walther PPK, which may have been the gun Fox used to shoot someone/something in Squamash. 

Sheriff Frey oversees an exhumation of an area in the cemetery marked by stones while Doggett inspects the gun at the FBI office. He updates Skinner, who knew about Mulder’s second weapon but naively believes Fox would have filed a report if he fired his weapon three times during a case. (I had the best laugh of the season after hearing that line. There is no way Walter truly believes Mulder told him everything.) John's main problem is he proved Fox lied about an official investigation and Scully is complicit because she signed the same falsified reports as Mulder. At least Doggett would rather go through Skinner to get answers than file an official complaint with the FBI.

Things are escalating in Squamash again. Several men and their dogs chase and catch a shirtless man from a cabin. There’s clearly something wrong with the guy, whom they treat like an animal. Team Skinett confront Sheriff Frey after learning he signed a death certificate for a shooting victim found outside a woman’s cabin the day after Fox met with the Hangemuhls. John and Walter find the man’s open grave at the cemetery. Skinner takes note of the stone markings, while Paul goes back to painting symbols on his front door. The vigilantes bring their -- I don’t know ... zompire Indian? -- to the Hangemuhl’s house, where Marie allows it to take a bite out of her while Paul prays quietly. Team Skinett arrive after the cleanup, but Paul missed a spot. Meanwhile, the man/creature is underground, vomiting up something in human form. It’s a really good thing I don’t eat while watching these episodes.

Agent Doggett has put most of the pieces together and Skinner shows him the now-erased mark on the front door, courtesy of Luminol. They reach out to the Lone Gunman, who identify the mark as a medicine wheel, which summons a soul eater to use its gift to remove the illness. You know, for a trio of men who believe in all sorts of conspiracies, they sure got on board with Team Skinett very quickly. John goes to the cabin to interview the woman who lives there. She believes in the soul eater and is still protecting him. Doggett follows a tunnel under the cabin and locates a probably-now-healthy Marie covered in slime and mucus. He thinks he’s rescuing her, but she’s already been saved. 

John sees the rejuvenated Marie in the hospital and surprisingly is on board with the soul eater’s power. He thinks Mulder went to the cabin to save himself but couldn’t go through with it. The woman says Fox tried to put the creature out of its misery instead, but it couldn't die. Doggett sees the creature crying and plans to take him away from Squamash. The vigilantes return to claim it and the sheriff shoots John dead. The soul eater escapes and the men bury the dead Doggett in the woods. The end.

Nah, just kidding. John wakes up covered in slime and mucus in the same place he found Marie. The soul eater saved his life by taking away death. Now the creature is at peace and Doggett has no idea how to write up his case report. Walter unofficially encourages John not to. Your X-files initiation is complete, Agent Doggett.

Sestra Professional: 

Initiation in half a year, that's even quicker than Scully's at the start of the series! Well, I guess the show's under something of a time crunch, Doggett needs to have been put through the ringer and come out the other side before we pick up steam for the resolution of Mulder's story and the end run to the season finale.

It's a little unsettling to carry on with the plot device of Fox keeping Scully unaware of all he was going through and what he was doing. For that reason, I can't appreciate "The Gift" as much as I might have, even though it's a story that feels more in the X-Files wheelhouse than the three that preceded it. The way our longtime leads depended on each other, such an unwieldy secret feels unnecessary and misguided. "How well did you really know him?" continues to feel like a hollow question to Dana and those of us who have been on their journey all these years. 

Are you calling Mulder a liar? On the other hand, we've got Skinner and Doggett working the case together. That's a definite plus. The Mulder flashbacks are welcome as well. For as much as John has been the proverbial shot in the arm this year, we've been in Fox limbo land way too long. The show certainly made sure we couldn't forget him either with his inclusion -- or at least the shape-shifter version of him -- in the opening credits of the episodes he hasn't been in. 

Giving Mulder a pass on the "not letting anyone else know he was dying" front, this story trades on an intriguing concept. Of course, Fox would be interested in a soul muncher that takes the acrid badness out and leaves the yummy goodness behind. That's so Mulder, so Frank Spotnitz's script is certainly right on the mark in this regard.

Good thing Walter remembers what he saw at the end of last season. He's a little rough on Doggett, though. The guy wouldn't be out of line in pointing out Mulder fired his weapon in Pennsylvania when reports confirmed by Scully stated conclusively that Fox was in D.C. Skinner's depending a lot on the bond John's been creating with Dana. It would be pretty easy for Doggett to give the FBI the narrative it's looking for and earn his way off the X-files while endangering Scully's job in the process. And Walter calls John the one on shaky ground?

This theory's even nuttier than the one Agent Mulder came to town with: But Doggett's quest for the truth persists. And it's not a truth like the one Mulder searched for all these years. It's that quantifiable kind that seems closer to Scully's early ilk. Dude still loves looking for the paper trails and taking every single fact and figure as an absolute truth. 

Director Kim Manners gorges on this one the way he traditionally handles the grossest of X-Files offerings. He feasts on the really gross stuff. The way the story plays out doesn't do much for the guest actors -- there won't be a Guest Star of the Week as a result -- but all we really are called on to care about for this story's purposes are our regulars. So while we gaze upon cured Marie and take in the latest exercise in exposition from the Lone Gunmen, the success of "The Gift" depends on John getting something out of the experience that he'll be able to hang his moral code on going forward. 

As Sestra Am mentioned, this looks to be the case that evens the playing field. All it took was a taste of the soul eater's medicine -- a slight case of death followed by restoration on a plot of dirt and regurgitation. After that, Skinner's spoonful of advice can have the proper medicinal effect on Doggett. And if disillusioned fans remain whose minds are as open as John's has become still don't consider him a valued member of the team, they probably never will.

That sentiment was backed up by Spotnitz in The Complete X-Files. "If you're going to depart from literal reality as most of us know it, if you're going to go into the supernatural -- as a writer, you have you ask yourself, 'Why? What's the purpose? What's the reason? And if you don't really have a point or a reason, your story's probably not going to very good." Spotnitz does have one here, and if it's perhaps not delivered as cleanly as we might have liked it to be, the fact remains that it does keep the show in line with where it needs to be at this juncture.

X-Files S8E10: Someone get the Ex-Lax

Sestra Amateur: 

I suggest you hold off eating during this episode, at least during the pre-credits scenes. In Los Angeles’ version of an airport in Mumbai, India, an American businessman named Hugh Potoki ignores the poor citizens’ pleas for money. He takes pity on one legless man on a cart. Sort of. The morbidly obese man insults the pauper then goes about his business, but Cartman somehow drags him off the toilet. Later, in a Washington, D.C., hotel room, Potoki is trancelike and oozing blood from … everywhere. And he has the cart with him. So this is human smuggling, X-Files style.

Agent Scully gets the case, but Agent Doggett beats her to the scene. So far, they’ve ruled out the scary contagious diseases. John somehow finds a child’s bloody handprint on the bedspread that local police “missed,” but Dana doubts their killer is a kid. Her autopsy supports that theory because she finds massive tissue damage inside Potoki’s body. John’s thinking drug mule case gone awry. Scully’s estimated time of death puts it before the flight from Mumbai. Of course she’s right, but logic is against her since Potoki appeared functional way after that.

In Cheverly, Maryland, Mr. Burrard is applying for a custodial job in an elementary school. The principal sees a “normal” American male, but we see Cartman. Later, seventh-grader Trevor is bullying sixth-grader Quinton, but Quinton’s father intervenes and takes him home. Custodial Cartman watches intently but no one notices him.

Doggett learns about a similar death of an overweight man that recently occurred in India. Scully actually suggests a small person traveled inside the larger men. Even with the evidence she’s seen, that’s a Mulder-level leap. At night, Quinton sees Cartman in his bedroom mirror and screams. Dad placates his son and goes back downstairs, where Cartman inhabits the father. Quinton finds his father’s dead body. Team Sculett gets the call and respond to the scene, but it’s after the coroner’s initial report that Dad died of a cerebral hemorrhage. Quinton describes Cartman as a munchkin and Doggett finds munchkin -- I mean Cartman’s -- prints all over the crime scene. Scully thinks the victim’s bloody eyes are just the first stage of the human smuggling process and hurries to the coroner’s office to prove her theory.

Without authorization, but with enough X-files experience that she audibly records the procedure, Scully cuts Cartman out of Dad’s body. (Most government agents aren’t considerate enough to provide evidence of their crimes.) Unfortunately, she panics and during the scramble to get her gun, Cartman drags himself away. Wouldn’t it be funny if he somehow smuggled the cart in the body too?

Back at school, Mr. Burrard gets berated by the principal for being late. In his defense, as Cartman, he had to drag himself all the way back to work. Trevor sees something is wrong with Custodial Cartman. Team Sculett gets a lesson in siddhi mysticism from Dr. Chuck Burks, who dresses like a Season 2 Walter Skinner. He explains how Cartman can look like someone else or disappear before a person’s eyes. Doggett doesn’t buy it, but Burks isn’t offended. He’s used to it. Scully calls Burks to the X-files office to get more information on their killer’s motivation. Somehow, Dana linked her case to an industrial accident that killed 118 people at an American chemical plant in Vishi, India. One victim’s father was a holy man of the beggar caste. Guess that explains the begging at the airport.

Trevor does the right thing and tells Quinton what he saw. While walking home, Trevor is chased by Cartman. He thinks he’s safe at home but somehow ends up at the bottom of his pool. His mother jumps in to save him, but it’s actually a cloaked Cartman and he kills her. Team Sculett gets notified because Mom died with bloody red eyes. John is clearly frustrated with this case as well as Dana’s approach to it. Trevor returns home, learns of his mother’s death and tells Scully about “the little man.” Maybe that’s the kick in the pants Doggett needs to get on board. Trevor leads them to the school custodian. Dana's interrogation of Burrard goes nowhere, but Dr. Burks arrives with camera equipment that shows no one is sitting there. Thank you for providing John's kick in the pants, part 2, Doc.

Mr. Burrard returns to work, disturbing the principal, so she calls Scully. Trevor and Quinton, now bonded over the murders of their mother and father respectively, set a trap for Cartman, but it doesn’t work. Cartman stalks Quinton while Trevor goes for help. Scully and the principal find the boys, but Cartman has cloaked himself to look like Trevor. Dana believes Quinton but is hesitant to shoot a child, even a former school bully. Doggett arrives and hears shots. He finds Scully standing over Cartman’s dead body. Afterward, Dana is clearly upset that her eyes conflicted with her instincts, Mulder’s instincts. And somehow, back in the Mumbai airport, Cartman is begging again. 

Wow, this episode had an interesting opportunity to show Cartman taking revenge on the people who he believed caused the fatal accident at the chemical plant. But the script never made a real connection between these characters and the plant, so it’s just Cartman stalking kids and killing their parents. If Cartman’s plan is to take out every single American, it’s going to take a while. On the upside, I think Trevor’s bullying days are over. 

Sestra Professional: 

Reading Sestra Am's recap before rewatching the episode, I just kept shaking my head. This is one of the most -- insert your most colorful adjective meaning ridiculous here -- episodes the show has ever put forth. This was way before the legalization of marijuana in California, but someone had to be on something to come up with this premise. At best, it's ... um, a novel approach ... to the concept of smuggling. And at worst, it's really gross methodology.

I can buy virtually any concept The X-Files puts forth if it's done in a coherent manner, but I don't get any of that here in the script from ol' reliable John Shiban. Maybe it's because of the cringeworthy way the character who has become known in the fandom as "the butt genie" goes about his business. That's off-putting, to say the very least. But I have to admit, I just don't get this one. I don't understand its intent and I don't understand its resolution.

This theory of yours requires an openness that I'm just not comfortable with: It's genuinely creepy when the gene genie wheels around, I'll give director Tony Wharmby that much. "Badlaa" was the second of seven episodes with him at the helm. With the striking "Via Negativa" (Season 8, Episode 7), the veteran of shows ranging from The O.C. to NCIS proved he was certainly up to a challenge. This one would have been too much for anyone in the X-Files stable, I feel for Wharmby having drawn the short straw here. 

When push comes to shove, this episode has one objective -- to show us where Dana is at this point in the season. John's still Mr. Denial, in essence, he's Season 1 Scully. He believes his partner to be prone to belief in alien invaders or sloppy vampires as suspects. But Dana doesn't fit into that niche. Although she has been serving in the Mulder role for almost half a season and despite having conducted an unauthorized autopsy, at the denouement of this one, she doesn't consider herself up to or worthy of that task. 

I'm still trying to figure this out. The butt genie has two demonstrable skills. One, he can crawl up someone's body, effectively snuffing out the person who used to be there while still having the victim walk and talk. Two, he can appear to be anyone. Are the two mutually exclusive? It's not really explained, and I don't mean in that "we know what's going on, but we can't dot the i's and cross the t's" way that X-files often are presented to us. 

If he's not there, he can be anywhere: Part of the problem is the viewpoint. By virtue of swinging the camera back and forth, we can see the person whose body has been taken over as the butt genie. But that's not what really is there, I'm supposing. And another issue is that all this comes to pass within the two realms the show historically doesn't depict particularly well -- young kids and foreign cultures. So basically it's twice as troublesome, with twice as many one-dimensional characters.

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I'm also not comprehending the stowaway methodology. Two heavy-set importers are killed instantly by the method of transport, but he can jump in and out of the janitor with little problem. Does Mr. Burrard take a laxative regularly, or does the "Beggar Man" pick and choose who and when he knocks off someone? It seems to be a lot of unnecessary trouble for him to apply for ... and then do a janitorial job. Why didn't he exit his usual way prior to the autopsy ... and how did he leave blood prints on one side of the door and then transport to the other side? I guess he's just messing with everyone's minds ... ours included.

Buy yourself some WD-40: That raises more questions. The initial victim was chosen for his girth, but that's not necessary with the janitor or the former bully? I don't get how Trevor can sense from looking down the hallway that something's wrong with Mr. Burrard. And back to Sestra Am's salient point, what about that cart? It's the same one we saw in Mumbai. Is that intended to be an illusion or did the butt genie bring a carry-on? But most of all, I can't wrap my head around this, if the Beggar Man can literally inhabit a body and destroy it from within, why not just do it to exact his revenge? 

As previously stated, this was all to pave the way for Dana shooting the kid who wasn't the kid and then having a bit of a breakdown over it. Now let's remember, she's pregnant and her partner is still MIA. It's not entirely surprising that she'd lose it a bit. I think she's too hard on herself, she's got more of an open mind than she realizes and seeing through the illusion is our latest and perhaps greatest example of that. I could use some of her open mind to help me through this. The beggar man's back in Mumbai after being shot by Scully? How? And more than that, why? I clearly need Mulder back to help me understand it better.

Meta-Montuzema's revenge: In The Complete X-Files, Shiban explained his original idea was for the beggar to climb inside someone's ear. "Chris Carter -- and this is why he's Chris Carter -- said 'No, no, no! I know what's even better." ... The episode title means "reprisal" or "vengeance" in Hindi.

Guest star of the week: All the guest characterizations are pretty paper-thin, but I'll give a measure of credit to Deep Roy for making the beggar a genuinely scary entity. I've been crossing my legs for an hour, I just don't want to risk going to the bathroom. 

X-Files S8E9: Metal man downgraded to T-10

Sestra Amateur: 

In Muncie, Indiana, Roy Neary is about to go on the adventure of a lifetime. Whoops, wrong Muncie story. This isn't Close Encounters of the Third Kind, our tale is about Ray Pearce, a man who served his country, got sick and mysteriously died. His widow, Nora Pearce, is angry and grieving. (I wonder if Ronnie Neary felt the same way after Roy left.) His friend, Curt, doesn’t know what to say so he leaves. (Did Roy Neary even have guy friends?) Curt drives while distracted and hits a man standing in the road, but the man is Ray, who flawlessly wins the battle of car vs. human. The “friend?” Not so lucky.

When the local traffic homicide investigators get stumped, they call in Team Sculett. Curt is missing, but his permanently damaged car tells quite a story. Scully finds shoeprints in the asphalt, but Doggett tries to “Scully” his way out of the possible scenario that a man physically stopped the vehicle. Dana easily finds Curt’s dead body while canvassing the crime scene. (Nice work, local popo. This is why no one respects you.) Scully performs the autopsy and learns someone treated the victim's head like a bowling ball, pulling him through the windshield of his car. Scully rules out ordinary men as suspects. Doggett identifies Ray Pearce from the fingerprint and blood left on the windshield. Meanwhile, Ray, played by Wade Williams, is hiding out in a depressing room, clipping metal “hairs” from his face.

John meets with Nora Pearce and Harry Odell, the owner of the salvage yard where Ray and Curt worked together. Nora (Jennifer Pearce) claims her husband died from Gulf War Syndrome and was cremated. Doggett says Ray is still alive and responsible for Curt’s death. Nora and Harry strongly object, but it’s not like they have proof to show John. Meanwhile, Ray is in a halfway house where volunteer Larina (Tamara Clatterbuck) tries to help him. Harry the boss knows more than he’s letting on, because he starts a shred party in the salvage yard office. A clearly ticked-off Ray interrupts, but Harry shoots him with a shotgun. I’m not sure how a gun managed to cause more damage than a vehicle traveling 40 mph, but we’ll just put that in the “taking liberties for storyline purposes” column. Of course, Pearce still gets his man. Ray: 2, His Enemies: 0. 

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Doggett is at the salvage yard crime scene while Scully is at the morgue. They compare notes and John easily determines what Harry was trying to shred. Back in the halfway house, Ray is cleaning up when nosy Larina enters his room and asks about the blood on his clothes. She still can’t get through to him and panics when she sees the metallic changes to his face.

Looking for Dr. David Clifton at Chamber Technologies, Doggett learns about smart metals from Dr. Tom Puvogel, who has one of those awkwardly rare last names that probably means something to someone but even the internet can’t tell me what it is. We should ask the writer, Jeffrey Bell. (This ended up being his last X-Files episode, probably because the TV show Angel would keep him busy for the next couple of years.) 

Dr. Puvogel, played by Arye Gross, claims Dr. Clifton is no longer affiliated with the company. John gets in touch with Dana, who learned Ray’s “Gulf War Syndrome” was actually exposure to a “non-identifiable contaminant metal.” No wonder his wife couldn’t get military benefits. Meanwhile, Larina reads Ray’s obituary while simultaneously watching the news update about the salvage yard incident. She decides to call Ray’s house.

When Doggett picks up Scully, she updates him on Ray’s medical condition. John manages to make his second Superman reference in two weeks. Maybe next week he’ll go for the turkey. For some reason, Scully and Doggett are tossing around the “Agent” titles more than usual, and it’s bordering on condescension. It seems like their relationship regressed back to when they first started working together. Maybe this episode was filmed earlier and aired out of order. Back inside Chamber Technologies, Ray has fallen into a trap set by Team Sculett and Dr. Puvogel, but punches his way outside and escapes. He leaves behind traces of blood that turn to metal before their eyes. (How come the blood he left on the car windshield didn’t do that?) Doggett arranges for Puvogel to be taken into “protective custody,” but clearly he’d rather arrest the lying doctor.

Nora waits for Ray at the halfway house, but she still doesn’t quite understand what’s happening. John finds a dead metal man at the salvage yard and links him back to Chambers Technologies. Team Sculett identify him as Dr. David Clifton and demand answers from Dr. Puvogel. He claims Clifton was already dying when he became infected. Somehow, the hazardous waste barrel containing his body ended up at the Salvage Yard and infected Ray. So maybe Pearce is turning into a Terminator, Doggett? Seems legit. 

Meanwhile, John sees Nora infiltrating the office to read a file. She calls Ray with an update, so Doggett sends the SWAT team to the halfway house. Ray tries to keep Larina silent but his metallic hand accidentally(?) smothers her. Nora learns of Larina’s death and leads the SWAT team to his current location. Ray’s last target is Owen Harris, the accountant who authorized the transport of the barrel from the Chambers lab to the salvage yard. Ray easily tracks down and starts to kill Owen in front of the man's son. Somehow, the panicked boy gets through to the old Ray, who lets Harris go. Turns out, Ray the Terminator is more Arnold in T2 than T-1000 after all. Ray even chooses a similar fate: he “commits suicide” by hiding in a car being crushed at the salvage yard. Roy Neary’s fate was way more optimistic. 

Sestra Professional: 

This one is just a hot molten mess. There's just no other way to put it. The first and most egregious issue is attempting to go all Terminator during Robert Patrick's first season on the show. There's just no way it can compare with his T-1000 image. If we needed proof of that, check out the awesomeness of this tweet I ran across yesterday. I'd rather look at that 1,100 more times (length of the gif times the 44-minute run time of "Salvage") than watch this episode again.

There's an attempt here by Angel/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. writer/executive producer Jeffrey Bell to show some relevance to the times we were living in when the episode aired in January 2001. Of course, the fact they didn't even spell his first name right in the credits might indicate there wasn't an immense amount of care put into this one. At any rate, this wound up being the final of Bell's five scripts for the series after Season 6's "The Rain King" and "Alpha" and Season 7's "The Goldberg Variation" and "Signs & Wonders."

Bell tries to play on our inherent sympathy for veterans of the Gulf War coming back and not being able to resume their regular lives. But the story gets pulled in so many directions that it's really hard to get invested, and by the end, they just couldn't salvage a feasible story from it.

The set pieces are certainly striking. We first see Scully standing halfway through where a car engine would be under normal circumstances. (This is probably a good time to point out how amazing Gillian Anderson looks in Season 8. I think the series change wears very well on her.) As with "Surekill" last week, "Salvage" is kind of interesting when it starts off with the agents' initial investigation. But, also as with "Surekill" last week, the story kind of peters out after that. 

Part of the problem is we again follow the guest stars of the story for copious amounts of time. We get to see Dana and John whenever the body count goes up, but the story revolves around people we don't know nor care about. The continual T-1000 winks are undeniable -- including two "Get out" occurrences -- but as they happen, so do the realizations that this is most definitely not like a Terminator movie. 

Sestra Am pointed out some surface similarities to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and there are elements that keep reminding me of my favorite movie too. At the halfway house, Larina tells Ray "you're not alone." That's pretty similar to CE3K's tag line "We are not alone." Actress Tamara Clatterbuck, playing Larina, reminds me of Jillian Guiler too, the one person seemingly able to talk to Roy Neary as his obsession gets worse and worse.

That only happens in the movies: But that's also the problem. I'm thinking of Close Encounters ... I'm thinking of Terminator ... I'm thinking of The Shawshank Redemption ... and I'm even thinking of the new Amazon Prime series Truth Seekers, an eight-episode riff on ghost hunting that paid homage to Shawshank Redemption a lot more fluidly than the powers-that-be do here. I'm just looking for anything that will help me get into the story. 

Ultimately that's not possible because Ray's reign of terror is rather aimless. His best friend gets killed, but the CEO of the company apparently has nothing to fear. For some reason, Larina's felled even though she didn't really stand in his way and he targets an accountant -- really, the paper pusher? -- but stops in his tracks when the man's son yells out for his daddy. 

This time, you stay dead: There are points to be made, for instance, Doggett points out soldiers are often able to keep going even when they're riddled with bullets and holding their insides in the hands. So there's insight into John the veteran that we didn't have previously, even though when Doggett later calls him Ray we should root for, it doesn't really sway us to his side.

Scully seems to be standing by as John tries to suss out Pearce's motivations. Doggett thinks Ray will act and think like a man even if he is more powerful than a locomotive. Even with enough metal alloy in his body to poison an elephant, John doesn't think Pearce would kill his friends. So any character development in "Salvage" belongs to Doggett, with Dana on hand as our resident autopsier/sounding board. Kind of sounds like the old days a little bit, doesn't it? (By the way, I don't think they're tossing around "Agent" more than usual, and they'll continue doing this for a while, so it's going to continue to irk us both, I'm sure.)

A machine doesn't know blame ... nor mercy: I'm torn in regards to giving props to director Rod Hardy -- who also helmed two of the more memorable episodes of the season, fourth episode "Roadrunners" and the upcoming "Vienen" -- for the exciting moments, because I can't get past the ones where the story falls dead in its tracks. Definitely deserving of credit is the makeup department as Pearce transforms more and more into the metal man. 

Guest star of the week: I'll go with TV and movie veteran Arye Gross as the uniquely monikered Tom Puvogel. The doctor's a company man, he withholds details, he whines and simpers, but I'll admit he does all of that really well.

X-Files S8E8: Sure killed the momentum

Sestra Amateur: 

In Worcester, Massachusetts, a frantic man is using a public pay phone (ah, memories). He runs into a local police precinct, screaming that the man chasing him is going to kill him. But he’s too vague and desperate, so the cops rightfully put him in a cell. Well, at least two officers should have checked outside to see whether someone was actually there. While locked up alone, the unarmed man suffers a fatal bullet wound to the head. Looks like Season 8 has a larger red paint budget than the previous seasons. Another example of what they can afford with less Duchovny.

Worcester Police wisely hand it over to the X-files Division. (Shouldn’t these actors at least sound like they’re from Massachusetts?) Looks like the bullet came through a tiny air vent in the cell. Agents Scully and Doggett learn the bullet went through the roof, fiberglass and concrete before hitting its target. Both agents are trying to determine a practical cause, but keep debunking their own theories. 

Meanwhile, at AAA-1 Surekill Exterminators (wonder whether that name guarantees they’re first in the Yellow Pages … ah, memories), secretary Tammi Peyton checks the answering machine (ah, memories) and hears the dead frantic man’s last message. She knows him as Carlton Chase and is following his last instructions when the boss, Dwight Cooper, startles her. Dwight, played by frequent Tarantino actor Michael Bowen, has little patience for the skittish Tammi (Kellie Waymire) and wants to see his brother, Randall, when he arrives. Randall (Patrick Kilpatrick) claims Carlton was stealing and Dwight alternates his behavior between controlling and nice. And it looks like the boys are going out later that night. Dwight is gleeful; Randall is dreading it.

Team Sculett are on the trail and find Carlton’s hotel room. Poor guy had been armed with a .45 and was still terrified. Meanwhile, Dwight and Randall’s nighttime activities have turned them into greedy Robin Hoods: They rob/shoot the rich (drug dealers) and give to the poor (I’m assuming themselves). Team Sculett are called to the latest murder scene where Dana floats the theory their shooter may have X-ray vision. John makes the obligatory Superman reference, but it turns out this is the fifth similar shooting in the area. He (incorrectly) assumes rival drug dealers are doing it.

Back at the pest control office, Tammi and Dwight are about to have sex while Randall spies through the wall. She says she always feels like somebody's watching her. Luckily, Randall shows some decorum and walks away, right before Team Sculett arrive. Dwight, who claims he’s legally blind, says Carlton was one of their clients. Doggett reveals Chase called the exterminator’s office shortly before his death. Our intrepid heroes really need to get Tammi away from Dwight if they want any useful information. I hope Tammi didn’t get him anything for Boss’s Day.

Scully and Doggett learn Dwight did time for grand theft auto and Randall, his twin, committed the crime with him. Tammi continues to feel watched in her apartment, but takes a shower anyway. The next morning, a frantic Tammi tries to get to the ledger book (ah, memories) from her desk, but Dwight and Randall are right behind her. So are Team Sculett, with a search warrant. Unfortunately, the ledger is gone, but fortunately, Scully finds the Chase Realty files that incriminate Dwight. 

At the police station, Dana takes on Randall while John interrogates Dwight, but the rooms are close enough that Randall can spy on Dwight and know what to say. Scully immediately picks up on Randall’s ability and lays out their rob-and-kill plan to make money. Team Sculett let the Cooper brothers stew while they interview Tammi. They let Tammi go home, but later learn she may have been involved with Carlton. Tammi meets with her spying neighbor – Randall – and asks for his help. But this Tammi is not the shrinking violet we’ve seen; clearly that’s for Dwight’s benefit. Lovestruck Randall gives Tammi the ledger with the key to the safe deposit box containing her stolen money.

Back in Tammi’s apartment, Scully thinks she’s on the run out of fear, but Doggett is convinced it’s a planned escape. Dwight is also on to Tammi and hides in her car with a gun while she cleans out the safe deposit box. He takes her back to the office and confronts her about everything. Randall, who thought Tammi abandoned him at the bus station, stumbles into the drama. Dwight tries to play the loving brother card to get Randall to kill Tammi, but Randall takes out his brother instead. So Dwight’s dead, Randall gets arrested and Tammi (and the money) are in the wind. This might be the equivalent of a happy ending for an X-files case.

Sestra Professional: 

Well, this was disappointing. After a very strong start to Season 8 with the near-impossible task of transitioning to a new co-lead, The X-Files hit the wall -- not even proverbially -- with this one. To make it worse, it's a rut the show won't climb out of for a few episodes. 

I don't know if it's the case, but I always think of "Surekill" and the two that come after it as the lowest point of the original run. Maybe it's because the show was invigorated by John Doggett and the way he had been implemented into the series. It could be because in every long season there's a patch that can't possibly live up to the creativity coming before or after. And although the last one in this trifecta has more going for it than the first two (more on that in a couple weeks), that's the implanted vision I continue to live with. We'll see whether the rewatch changes my mind.

It was a legitimately interesting teaser. Frenetic Carlton Chase seemed genuinely petrified and the fact that he tried to grab one of the officer's guns certainly was grounds for locking him up, although Sestra Am was definitely right about that cops-shoulda-looked-outside thing. And, of course, the future splatter also was on target about the fact that whoever was after him could still get to him. Not sure the officers could have prevented that from happening.

Stupid ain't cute: John and Dana's initial investigation is somewhat compelling as they try to figure out how the impossible was made possible. ... And then we get to the exterminating business office. I feel like I was dosed with that high-quality insecticide they were talking about. There's a squirrelly receptionist who doesn't take off her coat. Then one creepy guy, then the creepy guy's even creepier brother. And lots of rats. It's really not a recipe for an all-time favorite episode. It's about as good a recipe as Randall's proclivity for sandwiches with both mayonnaise and ketchup on them. Yuck. 

Despite some forays involving our heroes arriving at bullet-ridden crime scenes and quipping lines like "You know, Elvis used to do this to his hotel rooms," most of our time is spent with the low-rent schemers. Their tawdry affairs in the midst of money-making schemes and subsequent ripoffs aren't very absorbing. Apparently Tammi was the only game in town too, because they all wanted a piece of her at least as much as the money.

I hate twins: That's one powerful lighter Randall carries on his person. I guess he needs an eight-inch flame for better hallway vision, although he probably should be able to determine that Tammi's lying since it's been painfully obvious to us as long as we've known her. Not that she doesn't have reason for being bugged out when she knows that she's a glorified peep show for the eagle-eyed brother. Guess she was biding her time until the sting was complete. 

Which brings up the question, how long did they plan to keep up the Robin Hood act in Worcester? They had scored over $700,000 in five drug ripoffs. Might it have been time to ditch the rat race and at least move on to another burg? There's an abundance of reasons why Dwight -- the alleged brains of the operation -- might have wanted to get his moneymaker out of Tammi's sight lines, No. 1 on the list being that he might have lived. 

When push comes to shove, the problem is that "Surekill" is a yawner. The biggest crime in this episode isn't the drug dealers wiped out, the money stolen or the affairs. (OK, maybe it was, but that was for melodramatic effect.) It's that none of this bears rewatching. Dana and John try to understand why a man who could look at anything in the world singled out Tammi. Well, to quote the knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, he chose poorly. 

Meta mopeds: Robert Patrick got revved up for this episode since he got to share the screen with biker buddy Michael Bowen, according to The Complete X-Files. ... Kellie Waymire, who passed away in 2003, was in Playing by Heart, which starred Gillian Anderson. 

Guest star of the week: The only believable non-regular performance in the whole thing for me came from the guy whose death set everything into motion. Carlton Chase was played by Tom Jourden, whose IMDb filmography includes lots of bit parts in movies, soap operas and other television shows. Background players often complete the picture for the viewers. Here, Jourden made it for me. 

X-Files S8E7: Dare we say he's third eye blind?

Sestra Amateur: 

Schedule-wise, this would have been The X-Files' Christmas episode, but I don’t think the Season 8 timeline was running concurrent with reality, so put away your jingle bells and your first noels because this episode is going in a ... (ahem) negative direction. It’s been a silent night for an FBI agent on stakeout in Los Angeles’ version of Pittsburgh. He fell asleep on the job and now the door to the cult house he was surveilling is wide open. His partner arrives to search the place, which has jolly red footprints leading to children all nestled and snug in their beds. Actually, they’re adults and they’re all dead with bloody head wounds. The agents quickly suffer the same fate. This is feeling more like Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Assistant Director Skinner calls Scully who calls Doggett to run point while she deals with a personal issue. The next morning John meets with Walter at the scene. Agent James Leeds, the one who fell asleep, is back in his unmarked vehicle right outside the target house. (That’s not very tactical, Jimmy.) Inside the house, John and Walter find 20 dead cult members. Their leader, Anthony Tipet, played by Angel villain (the TV series, not the Christmas one) Keith Szarabajka, is missing. So is Agent Stedman, so Team Skinett (Dogner?) check his nearby apartment and they find him dead in his bed with no visions of sugar plums dancing in his head.

AD Skinner updates Director Alvin Kersh and some well-suited extras. Anthony Tipet, a man who served time for murdering his own wife, is the only reasonable suspect, but the physical evidence doesn’t support the theory yet. Kersh blames Scully for the “impossible” conclusion of Tipet reaching a higher plane of existence through drugs, but he doesn’t know she’s not on the case. Skinner’s science-fiction updates leave Doggett hanging out to dry and John is not happy about it. He just wants to catch Tipet, who’s wandering around Pittsburgh and leaving threatening phone calls. Dr. Andre Bormanis seems too afraid to pick up the phone, but not too afraid to cut himself with a razor blade. 

Back at FBI headquarters, Doggett determines the murder weapon is a 1,000-year-old ceremonial axe, but he wants Dana on this case because it's her area of expertise. Walter says she’s taking personal time, which is true; Scully's been admitted to a local hospital. And Tipet, who was accosted by a homeless man, now sports a third eye and takes his revenge with some questionable cement and that axe.

Skinner forwards the murdered man’s info to John, who still wants facts. Luckily, Walter obtained the pay-phone records and learns Andre served time with Anthony. They interview Bormanis in his drug lab and he admits to supplying Tipet with hallucinogens. He also carved an X into his forehead for protection. While at the jail, Doggett dreams of a levitating three-eyed Tipet. John also leaves bloody footprints and somehow ends up with Dana's severed head in his hands. Luckily, Skinner wakes him from that nightmare to take a phone call from Scully, who is sending the Lone Gunmen to assist Doggett. Walter learns Andre was creating a super amphetamine and John deduces Bormanis is afraid to fall asleep because of Tipet. (When did we change horror movie franchises? Somehow this became A Nightmare on Elm Street.) But Andre does fall asleep and Freddy – I mean Anthony – kills him with rats.

Downstairs in the X-files office, the Three Wise Men have arrived and they’ve prepared a slide show about the All-Seeing Eye and the CIA’s history of LSD experiments on an unsuspecting public. Doggett thinks Tipet believes he opened his third eye and is trying to destroy it in others while invading their consciousness in their sleep. Team Skinett return to Andre’s lab, where they find a two-eyed Anthony taking out his third eye with a circular saw. Tipet gets rushed to the same hospital where Dana was admitted for acute abdominal pain. 

John checks on a sleeping Scully before returning to FBI headquarters. He tells Kersh a more believable version of Tipet’s murder spree and suicide attempt. (By the way, the only correlation between "Via Negativa" and the “Path of Darkness” on the Internet relates to this particular episode, so let’s assume Doggett’s translation is inspired by Tipet’s beliefs.) Kersh -- “Alvin!!” (sorry, the Chipmunks' Christmas song popped up in my brain) -- is satisfied with the end result, but John still has questions, especially when he sees a three-eyed Tipet reflected in his mirror. Doggett shrugs it off and heads to bed, but Anthony and his spirit Halloween-quality axe are waiting.

The next morning, John – and his own third eye – head to work. While in a dreamlike state, Doggett seems terrified because he can’t tell the difference between his dream and reality. Poor John is going to end up at Westin Hills (another Elm Street reference for the uninitiated) and Skinner doesn’t exactly dispel his concerns. Neither does his trippy confrontation with Tipet’s all-seeing eye or his vision of nearly murdering Scully with that awful axe. Luckily, it is a dream and the “angel” who wakes him is Dana, who entered Doggett’s house through an unlocked front door. She brings three “gifts” -- she saved John’s life without even realizing it, news of Tipet’s death and her return to work. Maybe next week they’ll end up at Crystal Lake because some irresponsible camp counselors went missing.

Sestra Professional: 

The next logical step in Doggett's X-files indoctrination, becoming what he's investigating. And since John doesn't do anything halfway, he really goes the whole nine yards in "Via Negativa." This is something of a fan favorite among those who stuck out the Mulderless episodes, well, actually it's more of a love-it-or-hate-it-type show. There's not much of a grey area with this one. Put me firmly in the former category.

This feels much more like a Halloween episode than a Christmas one, so it's an appropriate time for it to come up in our rewatch rotation. Speaking of such things, I'm on a personal Angel rewatch, so I've recently seen both the episode in which Cordelia gets impregnated in the skull with a third eye and the introduction of our guest star Keith Szarabajka's vampire hunter Daniel Holtz. 

This is damn weird: At least we get some Skinner time, and he's not just second-guessing Mulder's abduction or babysitting Scully. It's a nice beat for John to say he won't fill the roles of Fox and Dana for Walter. I kind of wish there was enough time for Skinner to suffer some of the delusions Skinner had, but only so much can be done within the confines of a 45-minute show. I imagine his nightmares would be fierce. 

I just grabbed a few winks: That's not to take anything away from what executive producer Frank Spotnitz dreamed up and director Tony Wharmy brought into action. "Via Negativa" contains some amazing set pieces that are really brought home with Robert Patrick's strongest performance yet. He hasn't exactly been a slouch since joining the ranks, imbuing the show with much-needed fresh air. And Spotnitz's script seems like it contains hallucinogenic properties. I always feel lulled into it, the same way John gets dragged -- or vicariously drugged -- into the proceedings. 

It isn't the first time The X-Files has taken on the idea of cults and tried to come up with some logical reason why things like Jonestown or Heaven's Gate happen. It's unfathomable to most of us that a person can be so charismatic that their minions will do their bidding no matter what. An "X-files explanation" seems as good as anything else when it comes to how and why people off themselves in the name of religion.

Despite the fact that Scully is on the sidelines for much of this one, more of connection grows between our Season 8 early leads. John dreaming about Dana is certainly a telltale clue. And while it might seem like an odd time for Scully to tell Doggett to trust his instincts, it helps keep us on John's side throughout all the ensuing madness. I find myself starting to draw a parallel between Doggett wondering whether he should have let Tipet die and Dana's ambiguity regarding expelling her greatest fear, fetishist Donnie Pfaster, at the end of "Orison" (Season 7, Episode 7).

That's not bad for a beginner: The Lone Gunmen's inclusion here feels a bit jarring. Their detailed exposition to the contrary, this doesn't seem to be their area of expertise. (Although wouldn't Dr. Bormanis have fit the bill as a medical Lone Gunman ... had he lived?) Langly claims John is in way over his head, but I kind of think Gunmen are. They're not who I'd turn to for advice in this particular circumstance. I think they would have been more apt to provide Sestra Am's Nightmare on Elm Street reasoning then come up with hallucinogenic astral projection. 

By the way, we obviously need "Via Negativa" at this point in our ongoing story, but this offering might have provided a far better basis for a "Millennium" crossover episode than the substandard effort we were given in the seventh season's denouement of the sister show.

It all wraps up with an amazing final dream sequence bathed in blue light that fades in and out and puts Doggett in different places with the telltale ax reminiscent of when we played "Red Light, Green Light, 1-2-3" as kids. Not only gorgeous, but it evens up the score in the partners' life-saving department. You can mark down on your cards, it's 1-1 after Doggett did likewise in S8E4's "Roadrunners."

Guest star of the week: Of course, it's Keith Szarabajka, who found a niche in these type of shows -- eventually Supernatural was added into his supernatural mix -- by virtue of his ability to portray symbolic characters with gravity and believability. That's no small feat, witness me questioning our tried-and-true buds, the Gunmen, earlier for further proof of that.