Sestra Amateur:
I watch CW’s The Flash on first run, meaning I actually catch the new episodes each week. There’s a new character named Joseph Carver, played by Eric Nenninger, and just three days ago, I was watching the show and thinking I know him from somewhere but just couldn't place him. And now here he is in the opening scene of this week’s ep "Signs & Wonders."
Of course, now that I’ve taken a moment to read his IMDB credits, I probably knew him from "Malcolm in the Middle." But let’s get back to his other FOX TV appearance in 2000. On a rainy night in Blessing, Tennessee, Jared Chirp gets some bad medical news, starts praying, arms himself and jumps in his car. He’s safe inside until he isn’t. Now he’s surrounded by rattlesnakes and wasting his ammo. You’ve only got six bullets. Shoot the window, you idiot! You know, it took longer for me to explain the Nenninger connection than it did for his character to live in this ep.
Mulder convinces Scully they need to investigate because there were 50 different types of snakes involved and Chirp was alone in the locked car when someone found his poisoned, bloated body. Dana provides the biblical history of snakes, and for once, Fox seems to agree with her. Jared’s pregnant girlfriend, Gracie, doesn’t seem to be taking his death well. Sculder talk with Reverend Mackey at Jared’s funeral while Gracie gets escorted away by church member Iris Finster. Mackey doesn’t have nice things to say about Jared’s previous house of worship, The Church of God with Signs and Wonders, where they use snakes to test faith. The agents search for Enoch O’Connor, but find snakes instead. Enoch saves our intrepid heroes, but it’s kind of hard to hear the dialogue over the very loud rattlers. Glad I use closed captions when I watch TV.
Iris meets with Reverend Mackey to reveal a drunken Jared called Gracie the night he died, but Iris didn’t let him talk to her. Mackey says they’ll talk about it later. (That must be code for one character to die, like “I’ll be right back” in a horror movie.) Mackey’s bible study group is clearly held differently from Enoch’s, even before you bring snakes to the table. Mackey is calm and peaceful; Enoch convinces his congregation that God wants them to be hot so he can avoid paying for central air conditioning.
Iris is working in Mackey’s office when she gets bitten by a snake, I mean, a staple remover. She treating her wound in the bathroom when she gets attacked by other snakes. Guess she’s not righteous enough to survive. Sculder arrive and learn more about Gracie’s connection to her former church. Did I mention Enoch is her father? He kicked her out of the church and their family because of her pregnancy. Fox learns Gracie’s mother is also dead as Dana gets attacked by Enoch in a snake-filled trailer. Of course, he’s just trying to save her soul, right? Mulder rescues Scully and arrests O’Connor. In an interesting turn of events, the snakes attack Enoch in jail. He barely survives, but Gracie prevents the doctors from treating him based on religious grounds.
Sculder search Jared’s home for clues and learn he was not the father of Gracie’s baby. That leaves the only other men as potential baby daddies: Enoch or Mackey. (Boy, this is just a completely anti-religion episode, isn’t it?) When Mackey leaves Enoch’s hospital room, venom starts oozing from O’Connor’s wounds and Enoch regains consciousness. Mackey returns, but the O’Connors are gone. Mackey claims Enoch is the baby’s father and that was why Gracie left his church. Enoch brings Gracie to his congregation and they try to “save” her, but she gives birth to a litter of snakes. (Is that the right way to phrase it?)
The next morning, medics arrive for Gracie. Mulder points out the bloody snake trails to Scully and goes searching for Enoch, who confronts Mackey with a knife. Fox shoots Enoch to save Mackey. On the way to the hospital, Gracie tells Dana the truth while Mulder realizes it with help from Enoch: Mackey was behind everything. This time, Scully tries to save Fox, who passes the righteousness test and survives his rattlesnake bite. Mackey somehow escapes to Connecticut, begins a new life as Reverend Wells and reveals his inner serpent is literal, not metaphorical. It’s the year 2000, does no one check references?!?
Sestra Professional:
Call it the "Teso dos Bichos" effect, but there's a dog every season -- one that I never see unless I'm in full rewatch mode. And we're on Season 7's. Since we're coming up to an incredible two-parter that caps off the Samantha storyline and is quickly followed by an uproarious Vince Gilligan tale, I'm prepared to traverse through this muck to get there.
The religious episodes with faith at the center -- not Scully's, mind you, but everyone else's -- haven't gone over too well over the years. But eps such as "Miracle Man" (Season 1, Episode 18), "Revelations" (S3E11) and "All Souls" (S5E17) have served as markers to let us know where Dana is on her journey. I guess it is about time to check in with her on that front, but the marker here seems to be Fox going along with her sentiment. That certainly is different.
I didn't learn that in catechism class: What I didn't count on was how strangely relevant "Signs & Wonders" feels in this time of self-quarantine. The religious people in the episode are confident they can handle snakes and avoid death by poison. Sounds an awful lot like those determined not to adhere to stay-at-home recommendations. "You've got nothing to fear if you're righteous people," Reverend O'Connor tells our heroes. I'm pretty sure I heard the same thing on the news from a holy man who is no longer with us due to coronavirus.
Such thoughts of serpents and religion going hand in hand might overwhelm me while watching this episode, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm more frightened by Iris' very severe hairdo. Now that's the kind of thing that can scar you for life.
God hates the lukewarm: By this reckoning, God probably would be fine with this ep, because it pulls every punch and turns the volume up to 11. That fits right into director Kim Manners' wheelhouse, he's the one who can pull off a juxtaposition between a snake at a religious ceremony and a staple remover in a church office. I don't quite understand how the reptiles appear at Iris' house -- perhaps they're attracted by her pomade -- but the eye-level shot of the fatal snake attack shouldn't slip away unnoticed.
There's not a lot of meat on this episode of the non-snake variety. As you probably know living in the time we do, changing people's minds doesn't really happen that often. So the two reverends are satisfied to keep on doing what they're doing, and we know Sculder will continue along their merry way. I hope the fact that all these people have been killed by snakes doesn't mean the intolerant faction is correct about its supposition, because I'm going to have to be about as stubborn as the religious naysayers on this one.
The devil has been cast out: Scully may be right that there's no way Mulder's going to be told what to believe, but Fox is also correct when he points out that being told what to think is a very powerful supposition. It explains why some of the masses are out there gallivanting around when they should be home binge watching TV shows and perusing rewatch blogs. They really do think resisting the devil will make him flee.
At least there's something of a mystery and resolution within this tangled morass of snakes. And while it's true, maybe the devil doesn't always have two horns and a tail, it really shouldn't fall by the wayside to stay on your guard when you do see a creature with two horns and a tail. ... By the way, do you think Mackey has met up with slithery demon Mrs. Paddock from Manners' first X-Files episode "Die Hand Die Verletzt" (Season 2, Episode 14?). And above all, and to quote a famous fictional adventurer ... why did it have to be snakes?
Meta monstrosities: Among the cast and crew bugged out by the reptiles -- Manners, David Duchovny and supervising producer John Shiban, according to the official episode guide. ... Michael Childers, who played Reverend O'Connor, apparently knew a lot about the world in which his character hailed from. His father was a real-life snake preacher, the guide said. This was Childers' first screen role. ... The guide also credited producer Paul Rabwin for writing the song "Sweet Lord Protect Me and Take Me to the Light" when an appropriate gospel song couldn't be found for the snake-handling scene.
Guest star of the week: I'll go with another actor hanging around FOX TV around this time -- Tracy Middendorf, fresh off a stint as someone else wronged on "Ally McBeal." She gives a nuanced performance here as Gracie, and that's tough to do since, between one death and another, she spends the entire episode being overemotional.
Sestra Amateur:
We’re in sunny Santa Monica so our Los Angeles-based crew doesn’t have to travel far (or provide us with an unbelievably fake cooler climate). The Amazing Maleeni – played by Ricky Jay, who I know mainly from movies Sestra Pro made me watch -- is getting screwed out of his promised fee, but the show must go on. He’s pretty good with the sleight of hand, even as he deals with an annoying heckler. (Really, is there any other kind of heckler?) Maleeni takes the bait and performs an unexpected head twist of Exorcist proportions. Afterward, he’s found in his van with his head severed from his body. No blood though, so it should be an easy cleanup.
Sculder manage to drop everything, fly to luminous California and arrive at the still-active crime scene. Scully thinks it’s murder and Mulder says it’s a magic trick gone wrong. The agents watch video of Maleeni’s trick and Dana takes note of the heckler, Billy LaBonge. The next day they track him to a North Hollywood magic club. Billy turns his hand around 360 degrees for them. Apparently, this is one of those episodes where you really can’t watch and type at the same time, you’d miss too much sleight of hand. LaBonge is trying to explain his contempt for Maleeni while simultaneously showing off his own skills. But it was nice of him to return their FBI badges.
After the autopsy, Scully determines Maleeni’s head was sawed off, but there are traces of spirit gum holding the head onto his body. Of course, none of that caused his death. It was advanced coronary disease from approximately a month ago. He’s been refrigerated since then. That certainly explains the lack of blood.
Meanwhile, LaBonge is up to something. He meets with former cellmate Cissy Alvarez, the bookie who Maleeni owed $20,000. Billy takes credit for cutting off Maleeni’s head and claims he can makes Cissy 10 times what was owed. Billy keeps Alvarez's men from beating him to a pulp by proving his abilities.
Sculder meet with banker Albert Pinchbeck who looks exactly like the Amazing Maleeni. He’s even wearing a neck brace because he was (allegedly) in a car accident in Mexico. He and his twin brother, Herman Pinchbeck, used to perform magic together but parted ways when Albert left the act. Mulder theorizes Albert helped his dying brother commit one last act so he would be remembered. Unfortunately, it was such a bad car accident in Mexico that Albert lost his legs. Convenient. Sculder return to LaBonge to see if he could help them uncover how Herman’s severed head trick was done in exchange for learning The Amazing Maleeni’s secrets. Too bad it’s beyond his capability for explanation. But Mulder does find Cissy’s notebook record of Herman’s $20,000 marker.
Back in the bank, Albert performs his own bit of misdirection with the armored car security guard. Afterward, Cissy shows up demanding Albert make good on Herman’s debts. Inside the armored car, the guard shoots at a man with Cissy’s tattoos, but it’s Billy wearing fake ink who gets away. Sculder interview Alvarez about Herman’s murder but don’t seem to know about the armored car attempted robbery yet. Fox thinks they’re being intentionally misdirected.
After they leave, LaBonge arranges for police to show up at Alvarez’s pool hall to arrest him (LaBonge, not Alvarez). And at the bank, Mulder unceremoniously dumps Albert out of the wheelchair, revealing he has legs after all. Albert reveals he is actually Herman. Albert died of a heart attack and Herman came up with a plan to get out of his gambling debt. Fox's explanation was spot on, he just had the wrong brother. But Mulder thinks Herman had bigger fish to fry, like robbing the bank … or the armored car.
Of course, Herman Pinchbeck and Billy LaBonge end up cellmates and reveal they’ve been working together this whole time. And the following day the bank vault has been emptied of $1.8 million. The video surveillance is blank, but the armored truck guard identifies Alvarez as the tattooed man he shot at. Fox finds the bank’s money hidden in the pool hall (hope he had a search warrant), so Cissy goes down for the theft.
Herman and Billy make bail, but the agents catch them before they leave the jail. Their theory -- it was revenge on Alvarez. The duo easily could have escaped the holding cells (that’s really not saying a lot about the overnight guards and security system in the police station), committed the burglary and theft, framed Alvarez, then returned to their cells. Pinchbeck and LaBonge get off scot-free but Mulder prevents them from going through with their final criminal act, an electronic bank transfer that can be authorized with a federal agent’s badge number and thumbprint. That sounds more unbelievable than the rotating head trick.
Sestra Professional:
I'm always torn between thinking that "The Amazing Maleeni" is complementary to "The Goldberg Variation" a couple episodes ago or that airing those two in the span of three episodes is a bit much, especially since there isn't much particularly X-filey about either of them. I suppose our heroes must investigate to determine that, though. And I still don't know whether it was a good idea or a bad one to have the return of Donnie Pfaster in "Orison" split the two up either.
Why are you talking like Tony Randall? It's also the second time in less than a month in which Mulder and Scully don't have a lot to do other than filling their usual roles on the canvas. However, since Dana just did something contrary to her character last week and we're nearing a two-parter that will wrap up Fox's search for his sister, I'm not going to complain that we're not really advancing their story or relationship at this juncture.
In the meantime, I'll take "Movies I Made Sestra Am Watch with Ricky Jay in Them" for $100, Alex. Let's see ... definitely Magnolia, Boogie Nights and State and Main ... possibly The Spanish Prisoner and House of Games ... and absolutely not Tomorrow Never Dies or Mystery Men. Hope I fared better on that than she thought I did on the National Siblings Day quiz.
Abracadabra, man: That was a pretty stellar teaser, though. I did originally roll my eyes in true heckler fashion at the commonplace ball trick -- I'd much rather be riding the rides -- and the head-spinning illusion isn't too much of a con with editing. But Maleeni's head rolling away soon after he pronounced that the feat didn't meet with a lot of success in previous attempts, now that was something.
How I can buy that easier than the idea that a trash bin wasn't dumped in over 24 hours -- enabling Scully to pinpoint the heckler -- is beyond me. (Although Sestra Am points out it was an active crime scene and thusly probably was cordoned off.) Maybe I'm more Mulder than I suspected. But I do wish one of those magicians could give Dana back the rest of her hair.
"The Amazing Maleeni" was written by our favorite three-headed machine -- co-executive producer Vince Gilligan, supervising producer John Shiban and executive producer Frank Spotnitz. They hadn't received a writing credit together since the "Dreamland" two-parter (Season 6, Episodes 4 and 5) more than a year earlier, unless you count Gilligan and Shiban's teleplay of Spotnitz's story for "Field Trip" (S6E21). Because of them, the episode is imbued with a certain spirit and a playfulness between the lead characters. In that sense, the comparison to "The Goldberg Variation" feels less warranted. Wherever you'd put this tale on The X-Files spectrum, it does inherently feel like a Mulder and Scully vision and less like one that could be found in any other supernatural show.
That winds up being a good thing, because much of the story about the marker and the money is a bit dull. Ricky Jay and Jonathan Levit (LaBonge) are real-life magicians, so the flair they utilize in their illusions helped liven up the lulls with more flair than Maleeni handled his cup and balls trick on the pier. I was more blasé about Fox explaining what sleight of hand is to a partner who probably would know that kind of thing, that was used to much better effect by both our leads in "Humbug" (S2E20).
Another moment I really appreciated in this episode was Mulder grabbing the wheelchair and unceremoniously dumping Maleeni out of it. It was so much more dramatic than jabbing a pin into his leg to prove Herman wasn't dead and he could walk. I view it as Fox living up to the challenge of presentation posed by the tricksters.
The bigger setup engineered by the two magicians proves to be a satisfying denouement akin to the classic movie The Sting. But even better was Scully showing Mulder she can appear to turn her hand around 360 degrees on a fixed spot. She did learn a thing or two from the uncle she mentioned in "Humbug" who was an amateur magician, didn't she? So much more impressive than The Amazing Muldeni's disconnecting thumb trick.
Meta magic: Jay and Levit have often been called upon in movies and television to whip up some magic. Among the more amazing of the titles, Jay plied his trade in The Prestige and Levit's credits include consulting on Now You See Me. ... In The Complete X-Files, Gilligan revealed the episode concept originated with Spotnitz, who had wanted to do an episode about magicians since he started on the show -- like Fox, he was a huge fan of Bill Bixby in The Magician. In the official episode guide, Spotnitz explained that it didn't go so smoothly. "Vince was ready to kill me," he said. "For him, this was agony." ... Billy LaBonge was named after the show's second unit director of photography, Robert LaBonge.
Guest star of the week: I've got to go with Ricky Jay in the dual roles. He's supremely talented on the magic front, but he also stands out playing the beleaguered aspects of both characters. Wait, no, just the one character. I mean, the one character playing his deceased brother and himself. Right.
Sestra Amateur:
Do you remember Donnie Pfaster? I didn’t until I reread my Season 2, Episode 13 recap of "Irresistible." Donnie was a fetish-driven serial killer who kidnapped Dana Scully five years ago. Of course, Scully stopped him, but my frustration with the writer’s storyline contrivances is still evident years later. (Yep, I’m looking at you, Chris Carter.) I hope this episode’s writer, Chip Johannessen, doesn’t follow Carter’s example too closely.
Reverend Orison is preaching to inmates at the U.S. Penitentiary in Marion, Illinois. This guy must be important because his last name is the episode title. He seems to reach all of the prisoners except one. Donnie Pfaster, again played by Nick Chinlund, won’t jump on the board the religion train. He doesn’t chant, clap or stomp his feet like the others. A level of nonconformity can be healthy in a person, but it probably won’t play well here. Later, one of the pastor’s followers loses his fingers in a tragic accident. Donnie uses the distraction and walks away from the prison. And here I thought he was going to scoop up some of the guy’s severed digits.
Scully wakes up to a breeze from the open window and a malfunctioning alarm clock which reads 6:66 before correcting to 6:06. Sculder are called to the penitentiary. Dana stands by her belief that Pfaster is not an X-file, but she understandably wants him apprehended ASAP. Scully doesn’t tell Mulder she woke up the moment Donnie walked away. Fox reveals there were two similar escapes from nearby maximum security prisons over the past year. Mulder interviews the “injured” inmate. (Today’s alliteration example is brought to you by the letters I and N.) Turns out it was all in the guy’s head, he didn’t even lose a fingernail. Guess that explains why Pfaster didn’t take the fingers with him. Fox sees the prisoner exhibit a post-hypnotic suggestion and realizes the prison chaplain has been in touch with all three missing inmates. Meanwhile, Dana keeps getting distracted by a memory song she hears through the vents, "Don’t Look Any Further," originally sung by Dennis Edwards of the Temptations.
Donnie arrives at a diner in Harrisburg, Illinois. He’s still wearing his prison attire, but the clothing is so non-descript he doesn’t stand out at all. It’s a good thing prisons and jails eventually went to the scrubs look. A hooker with horrible cuticles falls into his lap, but Pfaster's pitch is interrupted by the Reverend Orison, played by Scott Wilson, who is probably best known for The Walking Dead, one of his final roles. I remember him mainly from C.S.I. The marshals are hot on Donnie's trail, but Orison creates an illusion that allows Pfaster to escape. Then Donnie turns the tables, hits the reverend with his own car and escapes with cuticle girl. Sculder catch up to the marshals and they are too dazed to be of any help, but the diner radio is playing Scully’s favorite song.
Dana interviews Orison at the hospital. He tries to use her religious faith to get to her. Mulder arrives with a dose of reality -- crime-scene photos of what Pfaster did to cuticle girl. Fox also learns the not-so-good preacher is a convicted and paroled murderer. The reverend claims he’s doing God’s work, but as usual, Fox is the skeptic when it comes to religion. Dana reveals the song’s connection -- it was playing when she was 13 years old and learned her Sunday school teacher had been murdered. Orison called her "Scout" just like her teacher did. Scully also tells Mulder about the relation to Pfaster and the clock on her nightstand.
Meanwhile, Donnie is trying to disguise Orison’s car pretty much the same way the prison breakers did in Johnny Dangerously. (“Come on, shelf paper!”) He searches the trunk and ignores what appears to be clothing from the other missing (and probably dead) inmates. Pfaster finds the Reverend’s home address and house key so he heads that way. Knowing a serial killer has Orison’s car, you’d think local police – and even our intrepid heroes – would send cops to the home in case Donnie tried to hide there. I guess we’ll see.
Sculder learn Orison has self-inflicted swelling of the brain, which Fox assumes was done to enhance the mind-control power while in prison. One trick is called "stopping the world," which seems to be what happens to everyone else when the inmates escape. Yep, the reverend truly is God’s “Tool.” He hypnotizes the marshal guarding his room and escapes the hospital. Back at Orison’s house – where there are zero cops! – Donnie calls for door-to-door hooker delivery service. The one who arrives isn’t too bright; even though Pfaster opens the door in his tighty-whities and looks creepy as hell, she’s relieved the preacher who lives there isn’t the one who called her because “they always like the weirdest things.” Donnie finally unnerves her to the point she wants to leave. (It’s a wig!?!) She gets away by knocking him unconscious with a candle.
At the hospital, Sculder learn Orison left a cryptic note -- “Don’t look any further” -- but Dana claims she never told him the song title. Pfaster regains consciousness (still no cops) and the reverend returns home with a gun (still no cops. Darn it, Chip!) Even though they’re both injured, Orison manages to get Donnie to the woods and makes Pfaster dig his own grave. Donnie then morphs into a demon who overpowers and buries the reverend.
The next morning, police and Sculder are all over the crime scene in the woods, but only because Pfaster called them. Mulder tells Scully, “don’t look any further” but there are still 13 minutes left in the episode and we haven’t seen a Scully/Pfaster showdown yet. It’s very naïve of Dana (and Fox) to not have a security detail outside Scully’s home until Donnie is apprehended. She is clearly unfinished business to Pfaster!
Even when Dana arrives home, she doesn’t search her own place. And considering the number of times she’s been kidnapped, she should have an alarm system! The clock tips her off too late that Donnie is in the house. He chokes Scully, she digs her thumbs into his eyes. Too bad Pfaster gets the upper hand again. Meanwhile, the marshals from Illinois leave a phone message for Mulder about the wig-wearing call girl who got away. Fox hears "Don’t Look Any Further" on his radio and calls Dana, who doesn’t answer. Donnie readies the tub and plays the same song on the stereo while Scully struggles to get to her gun. Mulder arrives (seriously, he didn’t call for local police who could arrive long before him?!) and Dana shoots Pfaster to death. She never should have been put in the position of self-defense vs. vengeance in the first place, but we have Chip the writer to thank for that.
And as far as the plan to use "Don’t Look Any Further?" It was a great song choice because of the title and tone, but the song was released in 1984. (On April 3, 1984, to be specific. Is that a sign?) If Dana was 13 in her memory, that would make her 29 years old here. But Scully’s birthdate is Feb. 23, 1964, which means the story in her memory occurred in 1977, seven years before the song was released. Ironically, The Temptations had a song called "Don’t Look Back," but maybe the show couldn’t get the rights to it. Of course, if you don’t want the episode ruined by actual facts, then don’t look any further…
Sestra Professional:
You didn't remember Donnie Pfaster, Sestra Am? For my money, he's the creepiest monster our heroes have faced in a bottle episode. And that's saying something, because there were some choice candidates in the first four seasons.
There was a nice reveal of Donnie in the teaser. One sideways glance from Pfaster and I'm freshly unsettled. I was expecting more creepy greatness from "Orison," but it never fully delivers. Maybe the episode title should have been "Pfaster and Furiouser" or something like that.
Someone forgot to throw away the key: The key element to "Irresistible" then and "Orison" now is Dana Scully. Back then, we saw her rankled like we rarely did. Donnie got under her proverbial skin as he tried to get to her actual skin. We also see Mulder in better form than he has been for much of this season. He's always been great at the profiling game and this is his wheelhouse. In fact, it reminded me a lot of the return of Robert Patrick Modell as "Pusher" (S3E17) in "Kitsunegari" (S5E8). Modell got to Fox ... Pfaster gets to Dana.
This story really isn't solely about Donnie, it's also about the reverend -- much like "Kitsunegari" revealed more about Pusher's sister. I'm starting to detect a pattern. As great as it is to have actors who have given us the biggest jolts in the series back in the fold, it doesn't do a lot for me to put them in the background for much of the episode. And then -- gasp -- a medical malady causes the renewal of evil.
It's a catch-22, what could be done with said characters that wasn't in the initial go-arounds? Mulder and Scully track them down, outwit them, catch them. We get a reprise of Donnie and the chemically treated shampoo thing. The flip being that the hooker in question was wearing a wig. Talk about a turnoff for the hair freak.
God knows you're capable of it: There's an attempt to bring Dana's faith back into play. I can appreciate that, even if it's done as clunkily as it is here. But the early payoff is an appreciated faceoff between our leads -- Scully doesn't think God is a spectator on the sidelines, Mulder does. It's striking when Fox chooses not to believe, even though it's usually in a religious context. It makes viewers sit up and take notice because it doesn't happen every day, er, every week.
I'm certainly in touch with letting a song affect your life. ("Native New Yorker" has been bugging the snot out of me all day.) I like the obscure tune Dana remembers from years ago specifically tying into the story -- that's when Scout learned about the nature of ultimate evil. Donnie has been the personification of evil in both his appearances and having him listening to that song when Scully is fighting for her life is creepy majesty, if there is such a thing. That sort of slant makes "Orison" seem more like Millennium, the series, than "Millennium" the episode a few weeks ago. (And surprise, surprise, Johannessen was show runner on Millennium in the third season. Maybe he should have written the Frank Black wrapup script.)
Much more from The X-Files' playbook is the regulation "Scully in peril" moment. There's just no making ultimate evil see reason, why Dana previously strived to make sure he got life in prison instead of the death penalty is beyond me. That leads up to the very dubious outcome -- the flip being Scully making an atypical choice of vengeance when her life was no longer hanging in the balance.
Meta music: Dana's got a bug for tunes, doesn't she? Remember "Beyond the Sea" in another of the episodes (S1E13) in which Scully believes and Mulder doesn't? ... Gonna give the show a pass on the "Don't Look Any Further" front. Since the version the show uses is by John Hiatt and wasn't an official release, in our fictional world it could have come out when she was 13. Since plenty of movies and TV shows have taken a song and shoehorned it into a different world, I'll buy it here. ... By the way, according to the official episode guide, producer Paul Rabwin and company first approached Lyle Lovett to do the song, but he was unavailable. They quickly followed up with Hiatt, who sent over a demo. "It was chilling, eerie and soulful," Rabwin said in the guide. "It was perfect." ... One of show creator Chris Carter's contributions to the episode was having Scully's clock flash to "666" at 6:06. ... Rob Bowman, second only to Kim Manners for directing the most X-Files episodes, helmed only two in Season 7 -- this one and En Ami (the 15th of the season). Both have proved to be ... controversial.
Guest star of the week: As much as I'd like to give the nod to Scott Wilson as the title character of "Orison," Nick Chinlund slips back into Donnie's skin all too easily. All he has to do is say one word in that macabre Pfaster tone and my hair stands on end.
Sestra Amateur:
The X-Files writers did our intrepid heroes a disservice in Season 7 by not writing another Christmas episode for them. I know the December holiday isn’t very “important” in The X-Files universe and the less-than-one-handful of holiday eps throughout the series proves it (Season 5 cheated by turning that one into a two-parter), but after the previous season’s amusingly disturbing "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" (Season 6, Episode 6), how could they not at least try?
In Chicago, Illinois, nebbishly nervous Henry Weems is embroiled in a high-stakes poker game. His main competition is holding four kings. Henry, played by Sex and the City’s Willie Garson, is so naïve you wonder how he made it into this private game in the first place, with his plaid shirt and Members Only jacket. Henry wins $100,000 on a straight flush he obtained with five fresh cards and ends up thrown off the building for his trouble. But he lands in a construction shaft, gets up and walks away.
Scully arrives in “Chicago” wearing just her business suit. She meets Mulder, who is also not dressed for winter in the Windy City. They learn the poker party was hosted by mobster Jimmy Cutrona and witnesses saw the attempted murder, but Henry got away before police could identify him. Scully gives a scientific explanation that actually results in a condescending response from Mulder about luck. He really is in no position to talk down to Dana. Scully thinks Weems landed on a damaged laundry cart in the shaft. Fox searches the cart and finds Henry’s eye. It’s a prosthetic eye so don’t get squeamish.
Sculder use the eye to track Weems to his apartment. They get sidelined by a plumbing problem in the apartment of Maggie Lupone -- played by character actress Alyson Reed -- and her sickly son, Richie -- Shia LaBeouf four years before he got “discovered” in Holes. Mulder makes the leak worse and falls through the flooded floor but manages to find Henry. Cinderella’s eye fits perfectly, but Henry refuses to testify against Cutrona.
Fox is mesmerized by Henry’s creativity with cause-and-effect machines. (Think of the Hasbro board game Mouse Trap created in the 1960s.) Weems won’t budge, so Scully convinces Mulder they should hand off the investigation to the local feds. They leave and a hitman arrives to kill Henry. Of course, it doesn’t play out that way and by the time Sculder get upstairs to Henry’s apartment, he’s caught the “mouse” in a deadly trap. And Weems is in the wind again.
Dana tucks Richie into bed. The kid has a cause-and-effect machine in his bedroom that Weems made for him, so Henry clearly cares about the boy. After Scully leaves, Henry checks on Richie, who has liver issues. Dana hits a dead end on Henry’s background check while Fox somehow obtains newspaper clippings from a 1989 plane crash in which Weems was the lone survivor. Henry follows Scully’s unintentional suggestion and gets a winning scratch-off lottery ticket. But it doesn’t go the way he hoped and the new greedy winner gets hit by a truck instead. The convenience store owner came out the winner in that one.
Back in the apartment building, Hitman No. 2 shows up to kill Weems. but Mulder finds him first. Fox gets to witness Henry’s luck firsthand when this “mouse” shoots Henry but ends up killing himself and wounding Mulder. (I found it amusing that The X-Files produced an episode about dumb luck when FOX created a TV series around that premise but had trouble maintaining it for a full season. See Strange Luck starring D.B. Sweeney, 1995-96.)
At the hospital, Fox tests Henry’s luck with a deck of cards and Weems wins each time. He admits he’s trying to get money for B-Negative Richie’s experimental treatment program and decides to go after Cutrona himself. By the way, after Henry left the room, Scully had the higher card. Thinking the tide has turned, Mulder runs outside and sees Henry get hit by a truck. He lives and is taken to the hospital.
Meanwhile, Richie becomes jaundiced and is also hospital-bound. His mother is on her way when Hitman No. 3 shows up at the apartment and kidnaps her. Fox poses an interesting theory that everyone in Henry’s world (including Sculder) become part of his cause-and-effect life. Richie manages to save Maggie, kill B-Negative organ donor Cutrona … and nearly cause a citywide blackout. And that's where the writer lost credibility with me. Who would ever believe that a murderous, greedy mobster like Cutrona – one who had no qualms about throwing someone off a roof over money -- would be humane enough to give the gift of life to strangers?
Sestra Professional:
Maybe we had a Season 7 Christmas tale after all, if not the kind that announces itself in a traditional manner via eggnog and mistletoe. "The Goldberg Variation" originally aired on Dec. 12, 1999, and The X-Files didn't air again until after the calendar turned over 2000. We did reference Y2K a few episodes back with "Millennium" -- complete with a quick nod to Christmas from Mulder and Scully at a crime scene.
Still ... we do have a kid in this one and we have a kindly benefactor. All the trademarks of a Hallmark movie spun through The X-Files grinder. I'm going to consider this a holiday episode from here on out. Especially since it took waaaaay longer than usual for Sestra Am to lose faith, that's a gift right there.
We're starting to see a Season 7 vibe and it's kind of a painfully obvious, sensible one I hadn't picked up on before. There have been a few stories about people who have powers or abilities trying to deal with that in down-to-earth ways for mundane reasons. Frank Black in "Millennium" (S7E4) just wanted to be with his daughter; Tony Reed in "Rush" (S7E5) wanted some friends; Rob Roberts in "Hungry" (S7E3) just wanted his craving for brains to go away, and even went to an overeaters' support group to try and make that happen.
Straight through, nothing but net: At the same time, these stories aren't progressing the Mulder and Scully story very much. Our heroes are taking their standard stances and having their standard reactions, pretty much the same ones since the pilot. Even I have to admit "maybe he got really, really lucky" doesn't appear to be the most sound reasoning. Even though I tend to start from Scully's rational vantage point, I'll have to lean Mulder's way on this one.
Loved the set piece of Fox rising up from under the streets of "Chicago," although I have to think at some point Dana might just turn around, hearing a noise of that nature directly behind her. It's even more ridiculous to see Mulder pressed into plumbing duty and his literal fall from grace when that didn't work out so well. But then again, it's part of the episode's cause-and-effect, like literally putting my X-Files action figures into the game of Mouse Trap.
Something good happens to me and everybody else has to take it in the keister: So Scully liked the case when they were looking for Wile E. Coyote, she's less interested in backing up Fox's supposition that it has to do with the fortuitous guy with one eyeball. How she can not be interested when Mulder's making the case come alive? For example, the animated way in which he re-enacts Animal's demise, particularly the kicking in of the door, should be enough to do the trick.
It's an interesting notion. The single survivor of an airplane crash finds that the incident set off a swell of good luck for him ... and that unfortunate things happen to other people in his wake. Sickly Richie is pretty lucky Henry took a shine to him, so his luck isn't quite as bad as it might have seemed on the surface. (And it appears to have benefited LaBeouf too!)
I don't doubt the lucky streak would eventually end, I do sort of have a problem with the timing of it. Weems has been going strong since the plane crash in 1989, buuuut at this moment a decade later, he's petering out? With any luck, we'll be back focusing on our lead characters and leaving the one-off -- albeit interesting -- characters to flesh out the Life and Times of Sculder.
Meta mechanisms: Willie Garson also played Quinton "Roach" Freely in S3E7's "The Walk." ... The Complete X-Files points out Weems' contraptions were inspired by wacky machine designs created by Rube Goldberg. ... Bell's original concept featured a teaser of a guy falling 30,000 feet out of an airplane and walking away unharmed, according to the official episode guide. ... As executive producer Frank Spotnitz pointed out in the guide, ultimately there is nothing paranormal about the episode. "... Coincidences in life may not be coincidences at all but rather hidden forces ... luck may have a design all its own," he said.
Guest star of the week: In his second appearance on the show, Garson gives a tidy performance as the luckiest man in the world. The White Collar/Hawaii Five-O veteran has more than karma, he has the skill to put us in Weems' place and make us consider what we'd do if we crash-landed into a similar circumstance.
Sestra Amateur:
It’s a monster-of-the-week episode, and this week, the monsters are teenagers -- figuratively and literally. In Pittsfield, Virginia, 16-year-old Anthony Reed is hanging in the foggy woods with “cool” kids Max and Chastity (Supernatural’s original Meg Masters). A local deputy interrupts the fun, so “Maxtity” leave Tony by himself. Then something quickly and messily kills Deputy Foster when Tony isn’t looking. OK, that’s two weeks in a row the local cops are killed. (The P.I. from Season 7, Episode 3: "Hungry" doesn’t count.) Hopefully, law enforcement will fare better next week.
The next morning Sculder arrive at the local hospital where Dana is in typical skeptic-mode (it’s not an X-file) and Fox is in typical believer mode (it is an X-file). The metaphysical blunt-force trauma seems to lean toward Mulder’s argument. Sheriff Harden (Die Hard 2’s Marvin!) sides with Scully. He’s convinced Tony is the killer, despite the unusual way Deputy Foster died. Sculder meet with an agitated Tony and he covers for “Maxtity.”
Dana convinces Fox to treat it like a typical murder investigation, so they interview Tony’s friends at the high school. Max proves he has some type of supernatural ability when he successfully completes his scantron midterm exam in record time. Did I mention Max’s last name is Harden? Sculder try to interview Chastity, but Max intervenes and spirits her away. Meanwhile, Sheriff Harden tells Scully the murder weapon has disappeared. Mulder views the video surveillance recording in the evidence room and sees a streak. The Flash did it! The X-Files takes place in the DC Universe! I know, I know, it could be in the Marvel Universe. After all, they have Quicksilver. But I’m a DC girl at heart.
Tony is released from jail and returns home, but his mother is not happy. Of course, she doesn’t exactly ground him. Max shows up and takes Tony for a ride, then abandons him in a speeding car. Luckily, Max pulls him out right before it crashes. I guess Tony now has an idea of what is happening. The agents have the video analyzed at FBI headquarters. Their expert, Chuck Burks (last seen in S6, E22: "Biogenesis"), tweaks the video enough to support Mulder’s theory that a super-fast high-schooler stole the evidence.
Back at school, Max gets an F on his 100-percent-correct test, so he kills the teacher (Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Cheese Man!) in a crowded cafeteria without anyone seeing him do it. When Sculder arrive, Max collapses and is taken to the hospital. The Sheriff/his father knows Max is involved but refuses to assist with the investigation. Tony, who still wants answers, follows Chastity into a cave in the woods. He stands in a well-lit area and start shaking uncontrollably.
Scully reviews Max’s test results and realizes he has the body of a pro-football player … not the muscular part, just the injuries. Meanwhile, Chastity takes Max out of the hospital just as Mulder puts two and two together. She finds Tony in the woods but seems genuinely upset to learn he was exposed to ... whatever is making them move so fast. Sheriff Harden searches Max’s bedroom and finds a dozen pairs of the same sneakers and the flashlight murder weapon. He confronts Max and he admits to committing murder. Luckily, Tony’s newfound super speed allows him to stop Max from killing his own father.
Chastity and Tony head back to the cave so they can recharge, but Max is already there with his father’s gun. Max drops it because he doesn’t think he needs it. Chastity shoots Max in the back, then walks in front of the bullet so it kills her too. Sculder, of course, arrive too late. Same can be said for the experts who find nothing in the cave that could cause the physiological effects exhibited by Tony, Max and Chastity. Maybe it only affects teenagers. Meanwhile, the cave has been sealed off with concrete, so I guess the investigation is officially over.
Sestra Professional:
For something that is supposed to move so fast, I've always though of this one as kind of dawdling. Maybe it's because 1.) high-school kids aren't the show's forte and 2.) Mulder and Scully just investigating things doesn't carry the same emotional weight as Mulder and Scully finding themselves in the middle of everything.
I'd say that Tony eats his Wheaties: But my resolution has been to give the bulk of Season 7 another chance, so the same applies for "Rush." Scully's reaction to seeing the dead body was priceless, as was her innate ability to snap back into investigative mode faster than Chastity taking a bullet.
There's something to be said for Tony pointing out it's been a long time since Sculder was in high school. Fox takes that pretty badly, retorting the 16-year-old needs to explain things more clearly because our heroes are old and stupid. But writer David Amann keeps going back to that well to pound his point home. So Max tells Dana she must have been a Betty back in the day. Of course, she doesn't really understand that pop-culture reference -- not because she's older, just because that's not her frame of reference. Tony's mom also gets a taste of ageism.
The sequences of Max testing his elders -- first with his teacher and then his father -- fall pretty flat. Mulder's right, he does have problems with authority obviously precipitated by his dad, the sheriff. The kid could have gotten away with a lot more by keeping it quiet. On the other hand, was his reaction to the mysterious alchemy causing him to overreact because of his body chemistry? Or was it just him feeling invincible because of his ability? If the former, Amann shows some real insight, if not perfect, follow-through. If the latter, it's less powerful.
I dig a mystery with layers: The exact opposite holds true when Chuck Burks comes in to give the agents the lay of the land. It's not just kids who have energy to burn after all. Thanks to him for discounting everything from a ghost to someone from a Soviet Akula-class submarine. Chuck's spectral-whatever-generator enables Sculder to realize they're dealing with a teenager. That's when Dana points out everything about kids' bodies changes during this time of their lives, and faster than Max can move, Fox leaps to psychokinetic Carrie ability. Then again, we have seen a previous X-file on this, "Syzygy" (S3, E13).
Gotta admit, that was a cool shot of Tony affected by the force in the cave. The whole scenario literally makes it more difficult for Sculder to get a grip on what's going on. But Dana closes in on it when viewing the X-rays showing the deterioration of Max's body as being akin to that of a race car driver or football player. And Fox didn't take his own advice last week in "Millennium" (S7E4) about how no one likes a math geek. He determines Max's movements through the law of motion -- force equals mass times acceleration.
And it all leads up to Matrix-y technology when Chastity shoots Max and then steps in the way of the bullet herself. Why can't she go back? That's a little unclear in favor of a cool-looking set piece. In my opinion, the whole fish-out-of-water plot of Tony wanting to fit in with Maxtity flops. Surely a good kid like him could have found someone else in an entire school to pal around with.
Meta movements: The Complete X-Files backs up Sestra Am's DC Comics assertion, stating the script was Amann's take on "The Flash." ... According to the official series episode guide, Standards and Practices made the show take out the shot of the table crashing into the teacher. Supervising producer John Shiban thinks that had the opposite effect on the scene. "But what they did not realize is that when you take out the impact, the audience's imagination is 10 times worse," he said in the guide. ... "Rush" was the lone series ep directed by Rob Lieberman, who helmed 1993's Fire in the Sky.
Guest star of the week: Bill Dow's been on the show nine times -- six as Chuck Burks, ranging all the way back to "The Calusari" (S2, E21). The sixth time -- his fourth as Chuck -- really was the charm. He really sparks what otherwise might have been a drab scene, and episode, as a result.
Sestra Amateur:
We may need more of Sestra Pro’s pro-ness than usual for the episode titled "Millennium." It ties into another Chris Carter series that ran on the FOX network for three years until May 1999. I haven’t watched that show, Millennium (don’t start getting confused already!), except for one episode that was linked to The X-Files ep "Jose Chung’s From Outer Space" (Season 3, Episode 20). To give you some perspective, "From Outer Space" is a funny, self-mocking tongue-in-cheek episode; the darker, more apocalyptic ep on Millennium – "Jose Chung’s Doomsday Defense" – was none of those things, but in the show’s defense (no pun intended), it probably wasn’t supposed to be. So Chris Carter brought his show’s main character, Frank Black, to The X-Files to give him some closure.
This episode opens at a Tallahassee funeral on Dec. 21, 1999, with 11 days left until Y2K. The grieving widow doesn’t know why her husband committed suicide, but an attendee named Mr. Johnson has an idea. When he’s alone with the body, Johnson starts stripping the both of them and chanting. He leaves an activated phone in the casket and closes the lid. Eight days later, Johnson receives a call from the man’s grave. Eerie, yes, but unless we’re dealing with the miracle of Chanukah, I don’t think that phone’s battery life would have lasted eight days.
A major upside to this: Sculder get out of the blistering northeast winter for a day to handle this Florida investigation. By the time Scully arrives, Mulder is already inside the coffin, which shows evidence of someone trying to claw his way out. The “dead” man, retired FBI Agent Raymond Crouch, left prints outside the coffin. There’s also a circle of blood which clearly should not have come from an embalmed Crouch. Meanwhile, Johnson is chanting and driving north through Georgia with Crouch’s barely animated body.
With the fun in Florida completed, Sculder head back to FBI headquarters to update assistant director Skinner. There’s a group meeting for this one, probably because it involved one of their own. Mulder’s theory is necromancy, the raising of the dead. The grave robber (Johnson) wore Crouch’s clothes to create a bond with him. Too bad no one knows why yet.
After the meeting, Skinner takes Sculder aside and mentions a link to the Millennium Group and their blood circle symbol -- the uroboros. (What is an uroboros, you ask? It’s an image of a snake swallowing its own tail to indicate infinity. Wait a minute, didn't Dana get that same tattoo in "Never Again" (S4E13)? She doesn’t even mention it! Maybe Scully’s secretly a member of the Millennium Group! She probably had it removed by the next episode.) Turns out, Walter has evidence that the same ritual performed at Crouch’s grave occurred after three other recent suicides across the country and all three involved former FBI agents. Good luck keeping that low profile, Fox.
Sculder head to the Hartwell Psychiatric Hospital in Virginia where Frank Black, the “greatest criminal profiler that Quantico ever produced” has voluntarily checked himself in for observation. Frank politely declines to assist on the case and goes back to watching college football. Meanwhile, Johnson is changing a flat tire when a deputy checks on his welfare and notices the decaying stench coming from the backseat. Johnson protects himself as Crouch’s corpse kills the deputy.
The agents and local police later find the deputy’s buried body (how long did dispatch go without checking on his welfare?!) Inside the deputy’s mouth is a quote from the Book of Revelation, a warning Frank Black subtly tried to tell Mulder. They return to the institution and learn Frank is fighting for custody of his daughter, so Black can’t let the conspiracy theories take over his life again. He agrees to unofficially help Sculder.
The four dead former FBI agents believe themselves to be the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse needed to bring about Armageddon. The grave robber (Johnson) thinks he is doing God’s work. Profiler Frank Black gives a spot-on description of Johnson, who is unnerved because the deputy’s body has already been discovered. Luckily, Scully is on hand to point out the true beginning of the new millennium is 2001. (Mulder’s response will probably be one of Sestra Pro’s paragraph titles.) Fox heads off to chase a lead, but tells Dana not to let anyone remove the staples from the deputy’s mouth. Scully doesn’t reach the morgue in time to warn the coroner, who is jumped by the resurrected deputy. Dana arrives and finds the unconscious coroner. And Johnson. And the zombie cop. Three bullets to the chest don’t slow the animated corpse one bit and he attacks Scully.
Skinner arrives at the morgue. Dana is alive, but scratched up. She agrees with Mulder’s necromancy assertions and claims Johnson stopped the deputy from killing her by shooting him in the head. Fox has arrived at Johnson’s compound in Maryland and tries to call Scully but he has no cell-phone service. (Amazing, this is the only episode in which our intrepid heroes actually try to use their cell phones. Too bad it still doesn’t work in their favor.)
Mulder finds an empty bag of kosher salt in Johnson’s garbage and is convinced he found his man. (Side note: I know I made that “blistering winter” comment at the beginning of this review, but none of the characters are acting like they’re in the northeast in December. Fox is picking through a garbage can outside with no winter coat or gloves and no one is even acting cold! So I checked the Baltimore weather for 12/31/99: high of 54 degrees, low of 30. Oh, and Los Angeles around the time this episode was filmed? Highs in the 70s-80s. Vancouver was way more convincing as the northeast United States.) Johnson returns home and sees Mulder’s car outside the gate. Fox goes into Johnson’s basement (without a warrant) and accidentally wakes the sleeping horsemen. Johnson locks him in, so Mulder has no choice but to shoot the corpses.
Dana, who can’t reach Fox, returns to Frank. Even after hearing about what happened to her at the morgue, Black refuses to help her. But he decides it’s time to leave the hospital and checks himself out. In the basement, Mulder is protected by a ring of salt but out of ammunition. (Wouldn’t an X-Files/Supernatural crossover episode have been entertaining?) Frank arrives at Johnson’s compound. Johnson is relieved to see him because Fox took out one of the horsemen with a bullet to the head. Now Frank can take his place (the horseman, not Mulder). But Black gets the better of him and duct-tapes Johnson to a chair.
While Frank tries to save an injured Fox, Skinner calls Scully with a lead to Johnson’s place. Black is physically fighting a horseman when Dana arrives. Fox takes out one and she gets the other. No wonder Mulder loves her, she’s always there right when he needs her. Later at the hospital, Scully arranges a reunion with Frank and his daughter, Jordan. Then Sculder watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV and share a Happy New Year kiss. By the way, the low temperature in Times Square that night was 35 degrees and I’m sure everyone there felt it.
Sestra Professional:
Understandably every episode of The X-Files can't be a classic. There are good eps, there are bad eps, ones to watch over and over and ones that I only see upon a full rewatch, but I rarely label any of them disappointing. "Millennium" is that and much less for me on a variety of fronts. I consider it the most disappointing episode in the original run this side of the ninth-season finale.
On paper, it must have seemed like a good idea. Chris Carter and company created a whole canvas for Frank Black on Millennium, and when that show was canceled before the actual turn of the millennium, that in itself was disappointing. So Black was shifted over to Sculderland to close out his story. And somehow, all the momentum built up in three tumultuous seasons of that show came down to some zombies in a basement and Frank Black firing a weapon in this one. It's not up to the level of Season 3 of Millennium, and if you're familiar with the fan base, you know the level to which I have just sunk.
Single-minded ... sounds like someone I know: I hope this episode didn't keep people who might have given Millennium a go from doing so. "Millennium" is not representative of that series, even in the latter's most maddening moments. And, strange to admit this in an X-Files blog, but Frank Black is probably my favorite character created by Chris Carter. He was truly an intriguing invention, written -- and thusly perfect -- for Lance Henriksen. Frank was a man who loved his family and needed his time with them because he had the amazing and frightening ability to see into the minds of people doing bad things. Was it supernatural or was he just that good? I tend to think it was the second one, but with Carter's track record, the first always seemed to lurking in the mix.
When the series was still kicking, I would have loved a crossover that brought Black into Mulder and Scully's universe. But judging from this "Millennium," it's a trickier feat than it might have appeared. Vince Gilligan and Frank Spotnitz gave it a go for Carter. Spotnitz had various producer credits in Seasons 1 and 3 and was credited with penning five episodes over that span, but not the second season that best defined the group's millenniumistic tendencies. Gilligan hadn't had any experience writing for the sister show.
So Gillnitz's idea was to disband the Millennium Group -- really, mere months before Y2K? -- and focus on four former group members who went their own way. That's why this doesn't work out so hot, although I'm strangely comforted by Frank profiling again. He's just so good at it.
Nobody likes a math geek, Scully: But maybe someone does like a math geek, because the Necromancer dude saves Dana. These are the things about the episode that don't hold together. Why did he save Scully and then leave Mulder there to an expected untimely demise? She doesn't know why, and neither do I, frankly. The fan fiction writers among us could definitely come up with reasoning for that, I'm sure. And although there is an interesting Dana reaction shot when the uroboros comes up, I would have liked a reference to her tattoo myself, removed though it may have been.
Scully does pose an interesting question to Frank, namely is the Millennium Group -- I'm not sure if she means just the Return of the Living Dead quartet or the group overall -- able to bring about the end of days? And if so, which would prevail -- good or evil? That's the question the series could have continued to address if it had been given more time and space by FOX. In fact, there are those among us still looking for a revival after all these years.
But "Millennium" the episode is just such a hot mess. I can buy the Necromancer thinking Frank Black could serve as a perfect fill-in as one of the Four Horsemen. And the spouting of lines like "There's no justice in this world, but there will be in the next" is something Millennium fans got used to. But the whole business with the flares and Frank, Fox and Dana battling zombies in a veritable basement shooting gallery, ugh. That's not Millennium nor The X-Files to me, nevermind both, and it never will be.
It's a solitary existence: Now to that kiss. And unpopular opinion time ... I'll admit that even as a no-romo, when this originally aired, I had a certain yet faint hankering for them to kiss. But the awkward, tentative nature of this one from two beings whose blood boils regularly boils over on the show and who have been through so much together felt downright cringe-worthy to me. Mulder's kiss with alternate-reality '30s Scully in "Triangle" (S6E3) had more going for it than this. Hell, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson's outtake kiss in the hallway while filming Fight the Future beats this one too. It confirmed my choice to never see that part of the relationship, preferring that to be all of an off-camera nature.
If you ask me the classic moment of the episode was actually Jordan hugging her dad and their genuine smiles. Now that's what actually gave me all the feels. Y'all can have your Sculder kiss, I just want Frank and Jordan holding hands and walking off together as the clock ticks down to 2000. Because if they're together and it's the end of the world as we know it, then I feel fine.
Meta millennials: Henriksen expressed his displeasure with the end of Frank's story in Impact magazine in May 2009. "It's a reasonable X-File, but it's not Millennium," he said. Spotnitz backed up that assertion in the production notes for the episode on his Big Light website: "This was a terrible headache to devise -- we only realized after we'd committed to the idea how difficult it was going to be to meld the worlds of Millennium and The X-Files. It was not completely successful, I suppose, but still seems worth it for having brought back Lance Henriksen." ... Here's one from the "Before They Were Stars" files, future Academy Award winner (and three-time nominee) Octavia Spencer plays the nurse named ... aptly, Octavia! ... And, of course, because we're in a Gilligan episode, the morgue was located in Rice County.
Guest star of the week: Lance Henriksen, of course. On his show, Frank Black was the focal point of the universe. In less-than-ideal circumstances here and despite his unhappiness with the tale, Henriksen gives a performance true to the character that is as easily believed as the complete overhauls he dealt with at the start of each Millennium season. He still conveys looks that mean so much more than what's on the page, and deftly swings from the clinical nature of Black's gift to Frank's total love for his daughter.
I watch CW’s The Flash on first run, meaning I actually catch the new episodes each week. There’s a new character named Joseph Carver, played by Eric Nenninger, and just three days ago, I was watching the show and thinking I know him from somewhere but just couldn't place him. And now here he is in the opening scene of this week’s ep "Signs & Wonders." 
Mulder convinces Scully they need to investigate because there were 50 different types of snakes involved and Chirp was alone in the locked car when someone found his poisoned, bloated body. Dana provides the biblical history of snakes, and for once, Fox seems to agree with her. Jared’s pregnant girlfriend, Gracie, doesn’t seem to be taking his death well. Sculder talk with Reverend Mackey at Jared’s funeral while Gracie gets escorted away by church member Iris Finster. Mackey doesn’t have nice things to say about Jared’s previous house of worship, The Church of God with Signs and Wonders, where they use snakes to test faith. The agents search for Enoch O’Connor, but find snakes instead. Enoch saves our intrepid heroes, but it’s kind of hard to hear the dialogue over the very loud rattlers. Glad I use closed captions when I watch TV.
Iris is working in Mackey’s office when she gets bitten by a snake, I mean, a staple remover. She treating her wound in the bathroom when she gets attacked by other snakes. Guess she’s not righteous enough to survive. Sculder arrive and learn more about Gracie’s connection to her former church. Did I mention Enoch is her father? He kicked her out of the church and their family because of her pregnancy. Fox learns Gracie’s mother is also dead as Dana gets attacked by Enoch in a snake-filled trailer. Of course, he’s just trying to save her soul, right? Mulder rescues Scully and arrests O’Connor. In an interesting turn of events, the snakes attack Enoch in jail. He barely survives, but Gracie prevents the doctors from treating him based on religious grounds.
The next morning, medics arrive for Gracie. Mulder points out the bloody snake trails to Scully and goes searching for Enoch, who confronts Mackey with a knife. Fox shoots Enoch to save Mackey. On the way to the hospital, Gracie tells Dana the truth while Mulder realizes it with help from Enoch: Mackey was behind everything. This time, Scully tries to save Fox, who passes the righteousness test and survives his rattlesnake bite. Mackey somehow escapes to Connecticut, begins a new life as Reverend Wells and reveals his inner serpent is literal, not metaphorical. It’s the year 2000, does no one check references?!?
The religious episodes with faith at the center -- not Scully's, mind you, but everyone else's -- haven't gone over too well over the years. But eps such as "Miracle Man" (Season 1, Episode 18), "Revelations" (S3E11) and "All Souls" (S5E17) have served as markers to let us know where Dana is on her journey. I guess it is about time to check in with her on that front, but the marker here seems to be Fox going along with her sentiment. That certainly is different. 
God hates the lukewarm: By this reckoning, God probably would be fine with this ep, because it pulls every punch and turns the volume up to 11. That fits right into director Kim Manners' wheelhouse, he's the one who can pull off a juxtaposition between a snake at a religious ceremony and a staple remover in a church office. I don't quite understand how the reptiles appear at Iris' house -- perhaps they're attracted by her pomade -- but the eye-level shot of the fatal snake attack shouldn't slip away unnoticed.
The devil has been cast out: Scully may be right that there's no way Mulder's going to be told what to believe, but Fox is also correct when he points out that being told what to think is a very powerful supposition. It explains why some of the masses are out there gallivanting around when they should be home binge watching TV shows and perusing rewatch blogs. They really do think resisting the devil will make him flee.
Guest star of the week: I'll go with another actor hanging around FOX TV around this time -- Tracy Middendorf, fresh off a stint as someone else wronged on "Ally McBeal." She gives a nuanced performance here as Gracie, and that's tough to do since, between one death and another, she spends the entire episode being overemotional.
