X-Files S3E7: The joyless no-luck club

Sestra Amateur: 

Victor Stans keeps attempting suicide, so he’s residing at an Army hospital in Maryland. The lieutenant colonel sounds delusional because he claims someone won’t let him die. So, of course, he gets left alone in his unlocked hospital room. Stans decides to boil his troubles away in one of the tubs in the physical therapy room. Victor gets into the tub, but the mysterious "benefactor" prevents his suicide by unlocking the door and setting off the fire alarm. Unfortunately for him, and possibly fortunately for our phantom because we don’t yet know his motives, Stans survives and his body is completely burned.

Three weeks later, Sculder meet with the lieutenant colonel. Turns out, the phantom may have caused the death of Stans’ wife and kids and is trying to keep him alive for payback. Captain Janet Draper interrupts the investigation on the orders of General Thomas Callahan. Not one to back down, Scully requests a meeting with the general, then goes back into Stans’ hospital room to finish their interview. The mail guy, Quinton “Roach” Freely seems really interested in the feds’ investigation. 

In group therapy, one crippled soldier recounts his dream of “the walk” -- also the name of the episode. Leonard “Rappo” Trimble, who lost both his arms and legs in battle, takes offense. Roach takes Leonard away and tells him the agents are asking questions about Stans. Sculder have made their way to General Callahan, who is clearly annoyed by the handling of their investigation. Dana asks the general why the death of Stans’ family is not included in the case file. I guess some would consider that a clue that something big was happening in the lieutenant colonel's life. Staff Sgt. Kevin Aiklin also lost his family in a fire and attempted suicide. He was stopped … at first. Then he found access to a wood chipper. There’s no bringing someone back from that. Callahan considers them casualties of war. Scully – and probably Mulder – aren’t buying it. Turns out, the general is seeing and hearing the same mysterious soldier who warns Callahan, “Your time is now, killer.” He then gets an eerie message on his answering machine even though the phone didn’t ring. That’s a neat trick.

Capt. Draper is apparently part of the equation too. She goes swimming after work and gets drowned in the pool. Interesting how the M.O.'s been switched up. Maybe she doesn’t have a house to burn down. But considering how the killer is murdering people close to others, did he target her because she works for the general? I started thinking they were having an affair, but that point never gets addressed. Dana inspects the crime scene and Draper’s body. She sees finger-sized bruising on the captain's neck and shoulders indicating a struggle in the pool, but the cameras don’t show anyone entering the area. 

The general tells Sculder about seeing a phantom soldier and the weird phone calls. At Callahan's house, his son, Trevor, sees a man enter and screams for his mother. The general and the agents arrive and search the place, but the man gets away through the backyard. Turns out it was Roach stealing the general’s mail for Trimble. Stans sees Leonard and recognizes him as the soldier who won’t let him die. Roach is identified as the intruder thanks to good old-fashioned fingerprint evidence and arrested pretty easily. Fox finds mail belonging to Draper, Aiklen, Stans and Callahan. Was Roach just careless or is Leonard setting him up?

Unfortunately for young Trevor, Trimble isn’t done yet. Callahan's son is playing in what looks more like a dirt pile than a sandbox in his backyard. Great idea to dig such a deep hole, kid. You made things so much easier for Leonard. So Trevor suffocates after being buried alive. His guard probably gets a dishonorable discharge. Meanwhile, Roach is convinced Leonard plans on killing him in his cell. His guard ignores Freely’s panicked cries. Scully later arrives to see Roach was suffocated with his bedsheet. Mulder’s theory? Trimble is committing the murders via astral projection. He plays the answering machine messages backwards and hears the caller say clearly, “Your time has come, killer.”

Sculder meet with Leonard, who says Freely got what he deserved but doesn’t admit to causing his death or anyone else's. Back at the general’s house, Trimble appears before him in full military gear – with his arms and legs intact. Callahan sees bloody footprints and follows them to find his wife’s dead body. He grabs his gun, ignores Dana’s phone call and heads back to the Army hospital. Stans tells Callahan about Trimble. The general then goes to Leonard’s room and the quadruple amputee admits to killing Callahan's wife and son. The general decides not to put Trimble out of his misery but to let him suffer with the rest of them. 

Our heroes arrive and catch Leonard in mid-astral projection as the phantom targets the general in the sub-basement. Mulder finds Callahan, but phantom Trimble knocks him away. Stans manages to get himself up to Leonard’s room, locks the door and smothers him with a pillow. Wouldn’t it have been quicker to just snap his neck? There’s a life-or-death situation going on downstairs. 

So life goes on for Callahan and Stans, who now has Roach’s job. This may be the most joyless episode of The X-Files I’ve ever seen. It’s almost as if the writer intentionally kept out Sculder’s usual moments of banter so they wouldn’t dilute from the seriousness of the devastated soldiers returning from battle. Clearly, Trimble had no intention of coping with the loss of all of his limbs and his revenge plan was brutal, to say the least. So how did Leonard develop the ability to astrally project? Project astrally? Let’s just go with leave his body to kill. The connection to the mail in the victims’ names doesn’t really make sense, they’re just letters sent to the victims, not things they created. The only thing personal about them is they have their names and addresses on them. Leonard knew their names and addresses already. Sestra Pro, ‘splainy?

Sestra Professional:

Something tells me that Leonard Trimble isn't the guy for the woman who saved Scully in "2Shy" after all, Sestra Am. And not just 'cause he's no longer with us. She's empathetic, but he's got way too much rage.

The only way I have to explain your question is to hypothesize that Rappo needs a map to get where he's going. He just plugs the address -- if he doesn't know the place, since he seems to be able to do fine in that regard -- into whatever ethereal data bank he's utilizing to gets where he's going. When this energy was harnessed a couple decades later, it became commonly known as Google Maps.

You're right on the mark about it being a joyless episode, and one devoid of verbal foreplay for the sake of not diminishing the subject matter. The origin of the story wasn't quite so dire. As writer John Shiban, delivering the first of many scripts for the show, explained in the third-season episode guide, he got the idea from a Marlon Brando movie called The Men, in which the lead character lost his legs. "I felt the whole idea behind the story was one of empathy -- this guy wanted his C.O. to feel how he feels. ... The only way to do that was to take everything away from the man, and what worse thing to lose than a child. It's horrific, but to me that's what a horror story is about."

He's just floating around town killing people? A ton of credit deserves to go to the effects team and director Rob Bowman for this one, starting with the hiding of actor Ian Tracey's appendages. Visual effects producer Mat Beck and special effects coordinator David Gauthier's big moment came in the fantastic set piece in which the captain was drowned. (Eh, she wasn't adding much to the quality of the story, not being able to come off anywhere near as stalwart and true as Scully always does effortlessly.)

In fact, Dana gets to do most of the heavy lifting in the episode, between dressing down the captain and the general and running the FBI team handling Roach's arrest. Fox's big contribution -- besides projecting quickly to astral projection -- is discovering the masking of Callahan's messages. Why exactly would Trimble's warnings be played backwards on the general's answering machine? He wasn't smart enough to figure that out, so without the agents, Leonard's added touch would have been meaningless. 

And, furthermore, Rappo's penchant for astral projection certainly enables him to have powers mere mortals don't, like playing tape recorders after the power gets disconnected and putting elevators out of service.

I wouldn't call this a repeat-viewing episode, but there are some good scares throughout. I find it very unsettling when Callahan tries to shoot himself in the head in front of Stans. When the general doesn't succeed, the episode's first victim enlightens him about who has been doing this to everyone. That might have been too little too late had Callahan been able to finish what he started.

I'll also credit Shiban for bringing "The Walk" full circle. The lieutenant colonel apparently has cojones that the general doesn't when it comes to finishing the job. And doesn't that just sound a lot like what Leonard was bothered by in the first place? The underlings are counted on to do the tough work when the chips are down.
 

Guest star of the week: It's not the greatest stand-alone nor does it boast the most memorable villain, but Ian Tracey certainly does underrated work as Rappo. When he does have that scene which Shiban based his whole premise on, he stays right on target, decrying the agents for watching the war on TV and building to the gut-punching line, "What did I get? Nobody knows how I feel. They took my life away."

X-Files S3E6: Simply almost 'Irresistible'

Sestra Amateur: 

In Cleveland, Ohio, a man and a woman are talking in a compact car. Not really much more you can do in a car that size, especially with a guy who’s about 6-foot-4 and a gal who Hannibal Lecter would refer to as “big around the hips ... roomy.” They’ve been dating online for three months, but this is the first time they’ve met in person. They kiss and it gets a little … slimy. Because of him, not her. He has a visible skin condition, like eczema or psoriasis on an X-Files level. She’s suffocating because of the ectoplasmic residue he shoved into her mouth during their makeout session.

The next morning, a young police officer finds what’s left of her in the car. Local police identify her as Lauren McKalvey. Detective Alan Cross – clearly no relationship to fictional detective Alex Cross – at least has the common sense to realize he’s out of his league and seeks assistance from the Feds. Sculder arrive and Mulder immediately starts asking the right questions. Turns out, Fox knows of four prior female victims from Aberdeen, Ohio, who were members of a lonely hearts club. Yep, sounds like serial killer material. For some reason, Cross is a little hesitant around Dana. Meanwhile, our killer, Virgil Incanto, is communicating with his next victim, Ellen Kaminsky, via the Internet. Landlord Monica, who clearly likes him, interrupts and tries to talk to him, but Virgil doesn’t seem interested.

Scully meets with Cross at the coroner’s office. She’s ready to begin Lauren's autopsy, but the detective voices his concerns -- he thinks Dana’s gender will bias her during the investigation because the killer is targeting females. Well, don’t prove him right, Dr. Scully. Cross leaves and Dana is ready to get down to business, but Lauren’s remains have essentially melted. What a disgusting, oozing mess. I’m not cleaning that up. 

Lauren’s roommate tells Mulder about 2Shy – hush hush, eye to eye – the nice man Lauren met online. Back at the coroner’s office, Scully tells Fox that Lauren is missing something -- about 43 pounds of fatty tissue. That’s an interesting diet plan, lose dozens of pounds – and your life – with no diet or exercise. 

Ellen is preparing for her date with 2Shy, who she knows as Huggs. Ellen is clearly skittish, but agrees to meet with him in person. Her friend, Joanne, warns her against the date because of the FBI’s warning for Cleveland-based lonely-heart females. Ellen eventually takes Joanne’s advice and stands up Virgil. But he has needs, so he hires a hooker instead. Incanto finds a big-boned lady of the evening. She doesn’t allow kissing, but he insists. Another hooker and her john stumble across Virgil, who runs away from his now dead “date.” The latest victim is identified as Holly McClaine – I guess writer Jeff Vlaming doesn’t think much of Bonnie Bedelia’s Die Hard character. Luckily, Holly tore off some of Incanto’s skin during the attack. 

The next morning Mulder updates Det. Cross with his psychological profile of their suspect. Fox thinks the obscure writing references to his victims mean he’s a grad student, translator or professor. Dana notes the skin under Holly’s fingernails. Is the skin supposed to look fake because Virgil isn’t normal or is the show just using really low-budget effects? Incanto is trying to wrap up his injured hand when he gets called downstairs to sign for a package. Monica’s blind daughter, Jesse, finds Virgil creepy. Monica is still trying to bond with Incanto, but she’s not his type – she’s way too thin. 

At the Cleveland Police Department, the police finish compiling a suspect list based on Mulder’s profile. Fox theorizes that their suspect is a fat-sucking vampire. Scully’s words, not his. I’m guessing any X-Files case in which the suspect is “genetically different” counts as a win in Mulder’s book. Fox, Dana and Cross divvy up the suspect list. For some reason, the detective is still reluctant to accept Scully as a capable investigator. Maybe he should go watch the first two seasons then cut her some slack.

Ellen is feeling bad about standing up Virgil, so she apologizes to him via email. Cross knocks on Incanto’s door before he can write back to her. The detective sees Virgil’s bandaged hand and knows he’s found his man. But Cross is toast for two reasons -- first because he’s not a contract player and second because he was sexist toward our beloved heroine. While Sculder are trying to locate the detective, Virgil meets Ellen for dinner. He clearly still has skin issues, so does that mean he couldn’t digest Cross’ fat? Or maybe there wasn’t enough fat to appease Virgil. 

Ellen drives Incanto home, and he initially wants her to come inside but then notices someone is in his apartment. It’s Monica, who came by to drop off some reading material and decided to nose around a bit. She finds what’s left of Cross in the bathtub. Virgil then takes care of Monica. Jesse, who’s wondering why her mother hasn’t returned home, asks Incanto whether he’s seen her. Virgil lies that he has not. Jesse knows he’s lying because she can smell her mother’s perfume. She gets away and call the police. Virgil is gone before they arrive. 

A computer expert is trying to salvage data from Incanto’s computer but it’s somewhat time-consuming. Eventually, there’s a list of potential victims recovered, so they start calling and warning the women. Virgil ends up at Ellen’s because he has no place else to go. Ellen emails Joanne about her good fortune. Too bad she doesn’t answer her phone because Scully is calling. But Ellen starts downloading the FBI’s email warning and sees their suspect composite which, of course, looks like Incanto. He sees the file and knows she knows. Sculder arrive at Ellen’s apartment building and Joanne verifies Ellen should be home. The agents break down Ellen’s door and find her alive but suffering from chemical burns because of Virgil’s fat-sucking attempt. Mulder chases after Incanto, but it turns out Virgil was hiding in the bathroom. He attacks Dana but Ellen shoots him with Scully’s gun. 

One week later, Incanto is in desperate need of some Aveeno skin treatments. He also admits to several other killings. I hope, for Ellen’s sake, that Virgil is her transitional person. Hopefully, the next man she dates will be good to her. Maybe it’ll be Leonard Trimble. We'll find out more about him next week.

Sestra Professional:

On the surface "2Shy" comes off as Donnie Pfaster lite, to reference perhaps the most malevolent series killer we have or will see in the entire series run from Season 2's "Irresistible." But then you think about the time period this episode originally aired in and how getting friendly with people in chat rooms was so easy to do yet so potentially hazardous.

But there's so much awkwardness in Vlaming's first script for the series that it dilutes the overall impact. (He gets much smoother by the time he takes up the pen for Hannibal.) The detective's blatant sexism still might have been an issue back in the day, but Scully's been on the job for quite some time. And if Cross is calling the X-Files team in on the case, he probably should realize that she's seen a lot of these kind of scenarios. 

You can't hide behind your computer forever: I would have liked to have seen Virgil Incanto acting a little less suspiciously than he does in the first half of the episode. We've learned serial killers can be more charming than everyone around them, that's what makes them all the more dangerous. Everyone's antenna should have been raised around him, not just one little blind girl's. Then again, I don't mind factoring in that this guy isn't your textbook offender, he's a genetically mutated creature working from biological instinct.

"2Shy" also plays out much like "Irresistible" in that Sculder cracks the case fairly quickly. Mulder makes some shrewd moves with his online warnings, which continue to be an integral part of the plot after the initial use. And Scully's definitely on top of it from the science aspect, determining that the secretion accelerated the disintegration of the bodies. Aided by Fox's conjecture about removal of fatty tissue like a scorpion, our heroes are on top of their game. It's just a matter of time before Sculder are finally able to actually close a case.

It's kind of a bummer that Cross gets taken out without much of a fight, and with all the dots connected, we move into more traditional procedural territory. How many more victims will Incanto claim before the agents catch up to him? As previously mentioned by Sestra Am, gotta at least take out the guy who didn't show Scully respect (although he seemed to be coming around in their last meeting). The woman who ignored the FBI warning at least has to be tortured, as well as the all-too-desperate and nosy landlord.

So that leaves the blind teenager. Commence eye roll. Jesse's a sweet girl sure, and it's helpful that she can smell her mother's perfume to know that she's in danger. At least that portion of the program is almost fast-forwarded through. We don't have to suffer through the indignity of her in a perilous situation.

The final sequence with Ellen plays out much better. The beleaguered woman spying the sketch of the man waiting outside her bedroom door is downright chilling. Scully gets her licks in, and although it's a little on the nose that Ellen grabs Dana's gun and shoots Donnie ... I mean Virgil ... it's a nice way to wrap that up.

Nothing else metas: Sestra Am isn't far off the mark when she deems the substance "ectoplasmic residue." The Ultra-slime used in Ghostbusters was mixed with food products so that it would be "essentially edible," according to The X-Files Season 3 official guide. ... Crew members nicknamed "2Shy" the "lick me-kill me" episode, the guide says. ... Ep director David Nutter detailed in The Complete X-Files why the stand-alones could be particularly scary: "The bad guys or the creatures in the show, the reasons they did things were not because they were just there to do evil, but to survive."

Guest star of the week: Timothy Carhart is not as outright wicked as Nick Chinlund's Donnie Pfaster, but he is seriously scary. The final scene alone is worth the price of admission -- "My weakness was no greater than theirs. I gave them what they wanted, they gave me what I needed." Many of us -- particularly in The X-Files fan base -- developed strong friendships over the Net, it was sobering to realize people might not have been who they represented themselves to be on the World Wide Web.

X-Files S3E5: On his list of the worst things in life

Sestra Amateur: 

This episode lost all credibility for me from the get-go. I’ll believe in aliens, conspiracies and reincarnation, but I refuse to believe the State of Florida conducted official electric-chair executions outside of Starke. On the lighter side, it’s amusing to see the Vancouver production team’s version of Florida -- no one has air conditioning anywhere, everyone just glistens with sweat. 

In Leon County – not Bradford County, which would have at least kept up the illusion of accuracy – J.T. Walsh, playing the warden of Eastpoint State Penitentiary, authorizes the execution of Napoleon “Neech” Manley. Neech’s supporters think the governor will grant a stay of execution at the last minute, but Lawton Chiles was probably busy that night. Manley has some choice last words for Warden Brodeur – is this Chris Carter paying homage to New Jersey Devils goalie Martin Brodeur, who won his first Stanley Cup mere months before this episode originally aired? Neech’s soliloquy is making him sound like deranged Horace Pinker in Shocker, who was played by none other than Mitch Pileggi, or Max Jenke in The Horror Show which starred Lance Henriksen of Millennium (and The X-Files). I’m sensing a theme here. Neech’s monologue gets interrupted by life-ending voltage running through his body. Well, that’s just rude.

A few days later, Mulder lays out the details of Neech’s case for Scully -- in 1984, Manley was convicted of robbery and murder. He received the death penalty, but was granted two stays of execution over the ensuing 11 years. Manley’s philosophy background and belief in reincarnation appeals to Mulder, and the story particularly piqued Fox’s interest because one of the prison guards was found dead in Neech’s cell. The suffocated guard was one of five names on a revenge list supposedly compiled by Manley. 

Dana views the guard’s body in the prison morgue, it's rotting and covered with maggots. If anybody is eating rice while reading this, put the fork down. It’s not going to get any easier. Mulder talks to convict John Speranza while Scully speaks to prison guard Fornier, Then she gets accosted by prison guard Parmelly, who tries to convince her an inmate named Roque has the list. Parmelly’s behavior spooks Dana into leaving the prison. Roque leers at Scully while she waits for the doors to unlock.

An inmate later finds Fornier’s severed head in a paint can. The prison doctor thinks the hot and humid environment is causing the bodies to decompose faster, hence the larvae infestation in Fornier’s head. Sure Doc, blame Florida. Roque confirms there are five names on the list and the dead guards were two of them. He tries to barter for a better deal in exchange for the remaining three names. Warden Brodeur claims not to know who is behind the conspiracy. He later finds Fornier’s body in his own office. I wouldn’t think inmates would be able to access that area of the prison, at least, not the living ones. 

Back in Neech's cell – which, for some reason, is being kept as if he was still alive – Sculder peruse his personal library. Dana's catechism teachings contradict Manley's belief, so she’s not on board with him as the suspect. Prudent Scully thinks the other guards are responsible for the murders. Things get interesting when Mulder asks who would make the cut on her list. Dana feigns surprise that she only gets to pick five names and Fox banters right back. If Scully was the type of person to have a kill list, we know Krycek would be one. Cancer Man might even be another. Maybe Mulder if he really did forget her birthday…

Sculder interview Danielle Manley about her executed husband. She believes he could come back from the dead. No wonder she promised to never love another man. Back at the prison, the guards take Roque to see Brodeur. Clearly scared that he may be on the list, the warden punches Roque. The inmate confirms Brodeur is Number Five – no, not the robot from Short Circuit. Scully, who conveniently has her cell phone for once, gets the call that Roque was beaten to death. Meanwhile, Mrs. Manley has been shacking up with Parmelly. Lying to your about to be executed husband was probably a bad idea, Danielle, especially in an X-Files setting. 

Somehow, Parm gets back to the prison before Sculder, because he is standing over Roque’s dead body when they finally arrive. Maybe they took a break to watch Short Circuit and lighten the mood. The warden puts the prison on lockdown, thinking it will keep him alive. He also admits Neech was beaten by the two dead guards. Mulder doesn’t believe Roque was on the list, because his death doesn’t fit the pattern. Fox wants the name of the executioner because he thinks that man is on the list, even though it’s confidential information. Mulder is right, of course, and by the time he and Scully get to his house, the man who flipped the switch is dead and rotting in his own attic.

Fox goes back to Speranza for answers. The inmate confirms Roque was not on Manley's list. Dana goes the technical route and checks Neech's phone records. Attorney Danny Charez's digits are all over that list and he visited Speranza three times since Manley's execution. Sculder interview Charez, who explains he was Neech’s court-appointed attorney. Charez, the only man in Florida with working A/C, claims he visited Danielle Manley at home, but her prison-guard boyfriend chased him away at gunpoint. Now that’s some good intel. Warden Brodeur makes a deal with Speranza to hopefully save both of their asses. Back at Charez’s place, his air conditioner goes on the fritz. So much for that luxury. He lies down and gets smothered with a pillow … by Neech? Parm? Definitely not Danielle. Poor guy, his only real crime was being an inexperienced defense attorney. That’s four from the list, right?

Parm returns to Danielle’s place and she reads him the riot act because Sculder are outside watching her house. They head back to the prison and tattle that Parmelly is shacking up with Neech’s woman. Scully admits Parm accosted her at the beginning of their investigation and adds that Charez claimed Parm threatened him with a gun. The warden breaks the news that Charez is dead and suggests Parm should be arrested. Shouldn’t the local police handling Charez’s murder investigation do that? Sculder didn’t even know he was dead. Back at Chez Manley, Danielle sees Neech in her bedroom doorway. She tells Parm who spots Sculder and the police arriving at the house. Danielle points a gun at Parmelly, thinking her dead husband has possessed him. Mulder knocks on the front door while Scully watches what’s happening inside through the window. Danielle kills Parm, clinging to her claim that he was Neech. 

Back at the prison, Speranza meets with the warden in the shower room. Brodeur welshes on their bargain and beats up Speranza, who claims there is still one more name on the list. Dana is ready to close the case with Parmelly as the killer, but Fox doesn't think it adds up. He concedes to Scully and they’re about to leave the area when Warden Brodeur drives past them. Neech pops up in the backseat and grabs the warden, causing him to barrel into a tree. It’s a great PSA for seatbelt safety. Brodeur wasn’t wearing his, so he hits the windshield and is killed. I guess that’s Number Five. Thank you for playing. See you next week.


Sestra Professional:

It's a pretty harsh comedown from last week's episode to this one, but -- authenticity aside -- "The List" does have some things going for it, starting with the guest appearance of character actor, J.T. Walsh, who made a living off playing unlikable sods like Warden Brodeur. This ep doesn't traditionally make the list of X-Philes' favorites, but it's not a bad one either.

That doesn't mean it doesn't include a pretty hefty dose of Chris Carter's tendency to overdo things. Case in point, the warden spewing dialogue about how he would have figured Neech for a Nobel Prize had he not been in jail. The show runner had me at "nothing but bitterness and resentment 365 days a year" in prison, but he lost me with the other half-baked line.

It's also pretty clunky how Dana's left alone to be confronted by a guard and then given the agents' first hint about the telltale list. But we don't get a subsequent scene in which she tells Fox about what happened or the information gleaned during that uncomfortable meeting. Since I'm building the case in negative terms, I'm starting to wonder why I considered this episode underrated in the first place.
 
Being obsessed with it doesn't mean you can do it: Things do get lighter when our heroes aren't in darkened corners of the jail or finding body parts and/or maggots. We get to reflect upon Sculder's disparate backgrounds and our resident believer would much rather grab onto the concept of reincarnation than the possibility of conspiracy among some sort of combination of inmates and guards. But as Carter's alter ego, Fox does pose that interesting question -- who would you take out if you could eliminate five people after you pass? 

Points to Carter for the lengths he had to go to keep Mulder and Scully -- and us by extension -- from knowing who the next victims would be and whether or not the list was completed. There are a lot of candidates of people who wronged Neech, five is kind of a low number. Not knowing which one will get what's coming to him or her keeps the tension, with the added bonus that what appears to be the fifth victim may not have been a listee. That said, we all probably are fairly certain Brodeur is gonna get it at some point.

Everyone else is more bugged out than the maggots too. They bought into Neech's premortem claims hook, line and sinker. He's got people running around and handling names he would have put on a sequel list, and who's to say that was not his master plan all along. 

Carter's got Scully all over the map here. She's understandably bugged when left alone and grabbed in prison, and well, by the bugs in general. But not only is she also the usual voice of reason to Mulder's penchant for going off all cocked, she also gets the best quips of the episode, gems such as "A woman gets lonely, sometimes she can't wait around for a man to be reincarnated."

Pleased to meta you: Carter reportedly named his executioner Perry Simon after an NBC executive. No hard feelings from his days at a producer at the network, right? ... Gillian Anderson apparently didn't take to some of her co-stars, namely the maggots that showed up on and around all the various listees. "They're just the most disgusting things you can imagine," she said in the official third-season guide. ... Carter had the prison set built for "The List," but justified the expense in the third-season guide by adding that they recycled it for future episodes.

Guest star of the week: While Walsh does his patented slimeball routine to usual effect, it's ironically Badja Djola that gives the episode life as the ill-fated, vengeance-minded Neech Manley. His presence lingers over all the proceedings as people start turning on each other, it's almost not necessary to even show him in scenes in which his wife is thinking of him or the warden gets his ultimate comeuppance.

X-Files S3E4: Morgan comes alive

Sestra Amateur: 

In St. Paul, Minnesota, Peter Boyle’s character – Clyde Bruckman – buys a tabloid featuring predictions from The Stupendous Yappi, which, in my opinion, is a stupendously bad psychic name. Clyde walks into a killer but doesn’t know he’s a killer. The man – played by Stuart Charno, one of those actors you’ve probably seen before but don’t know from where -- arranges a reading with a fortune teller, who is so bad at her job she doesn’t even foretell her own murder. Maybe the killer’s psychic, he did kind of see it coming but only because he was doing it. Too bad the psychic couldn’t tell our killer why he does these horrible things. He might have spared her life.

Three days later, local detectives are investigating a separate murder in which the killer left behind the victim’s eyeballs and entrails. Isn’t that what little boys are made of? Oh yeah, it’s snips, snails and puppy dog tails. Carry on. The detectives discuss bringing in someone to assist them with the investigation. Someone … spooky. Mulder arrives on cue, with Scully in tow, but the detectives actually weren’t talking about him. Fox links this murder to the fortune-teller ones by showing that the victim was a semi-professional tea reader. 

Meanwhile, the not-spooky-just-Craptastic Yappi and his entourage arrive at the scene. He puts on quite a show and proves he can spot a skeptic a mile away. Yep, he calls out Mulder for blocking his powers with negative energy. Scully is clearly enjoying this, as much as she can while being involved in a serial killer investigation. The local cops buy the Yapster’s bit. I’ll bet they find that male suspect, 17 to 34 years old who may or may not have a tattoo in record time.

Let’s check in on Clyde, who is proving to be the world’s worst insurance salesman because he truly is psychic – just specifically psychic. Bruckman deters a client from buying a boat because the client will be killed by a drunk driver in two years. Clyde then returns to his sad, lonely, alcohol-fueled existence. He takes out his elderly neighbor’s garbage and has a vision of Mrs. Lowe’s adorable Pomeranian feasting on her dead body. Bruckman then finds the fortune teller’s body -- sans eyes -- in the dumpster. 

Sculder arrive and want to know more because Bruckman knew about the missing eyes without turning over the body. They take him to the tea leaf reader’s house. After making fun of Mulder’s name, Clyde “sees” the murder. Bruckman starts to sound like the Horrendous Yappi until he claims the victim had consensual sex with her killer. Clyde tells Sculder where to find her body, and of course, he’s right. The murderer is there too amongst the onlookers. 

Bruckman, who bought a lottery ticket, manages to miss each number by one digit. How frustrating is that?!? Fox still believes in Clyde's abilities. I think Darin Morgan -- who really wrote a great story with some amusing lines -- missed a golden opportunity when Bruckman asked Mulder whether he wants to know how he’ll die. Fox’s perfect response could have been: “Again?” Mulder tests Clyde’s powers and learns he only knows how people will die. Scully does a better job testing Bruckman, touching a keychain makes Clyde realize former insurance customer Claude Dukenfield (who based his market strategy on astrological forecasts) is also dead. 

While heading to the woods to find the body, Bruckman nonchalantly tells Fox that autoerotic asphyxiation is the most undignified way to die. Maybe he’s confusing Mulder with Californication’s Hank Moody. You really can’t engage in small talk with someone who has Clyde’s talent. By the way, they found Claude; Scully parked on top of his body. In her defense, he was buried in the mud.

Later, Bruckman has a vision of Fox chasing the killer through a kitchen and the killer then slitting Mulder’s throat. Clyde’s weird sense of humor comes through while he describes Fox’s murder scenario to Sculder. Bruckman also receives a letter from the murderer, which was sent before our psychic joined the investigation. It turns into an I-know-you-know-I-know situation. Sculder arrange to keep Clyde safe in a hotel room. 

During Dana’s watch, Bruckman tells her he had a vision of them in bed together. Scully misinterprets his words and shoots him down. Wow, the ego on that girl. Not everyone in the world is trying to nail you, Dana. Mulder takes over on guard duty and gets a bad night’s sleep. Speaking of bad nights – and bad luck – our serial killer is a bellhop at the same hotel. A local detective relieves Sculder so they can go to the tarot card reader’s crime scene. Clyde “sees” the detective’s death, but doesn’t say anything. He opens the door for our killer bellhop and they finally “see” each other. Oh, crap. 

Bruckman solves the mystery about why our bellhop kills -- because he’s a homicidal maniac. That makes total sense. Our killer takes out the detective because it’s not time to kill Clyde ... yet. Meanwhile, Dana has solved the case and rushes to the hotel. Fox also heads back and chases the killer to, yep, you guessed it -- the kitchen. Mulder remembers enough to defend himself until Scully arrives and shoots the killer to death. Our killer didn’t see that coming!

Sculder return to Bruckman’s apartment hoping to find him there. They find a note he wrote to Dana regarding the now-deceased Mrs. Lowe and her owner-less dog. The agents then find Clyde’s dead body. He committed suicide -- the vision of Bruckman and Scully in bed together has come true. This one hits Dana pretty hard. Maybe next time she won’t jump to the wrong conclusion. Scully takes the dog home with her and together they endure a night of television and lame Despicable Yappi commercials. Hopefully, the addition of the dog won’t be a jump-the-shark moment.

Sestra Professional:

I bow down before Darin Morgan for a perfectly crafted hour of television, but then again, the Academy of Arts and Sciences did too -- awarding The X-Files' one and only writing Emmy to him for this episode. Morgan only received writing credit for five XF eps (to date), but his fingerprints are all over some of the very best the show has to offer. If his second-season "Humbug" gave license for the exploration of humor beyond mere quips, "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" really opened the canvas up. 

The setup here is gorgeous. Law enforcement personnel are waiting for help from an unorthodox, publicity-minded expert. We think they mean Mulder, but Fox walks in and they say "who the hell are you?" We should rename our writer Darin MacGuffin because he's so very good at them, and not in a painfully obvious way. Then we meet Yappi, who gives an array of entertaining clues -- "facial hair or not"  and "a tattoo somewhere on his body, maybe the tattoo has the facial hair." The tables turned again as we're set up to believe Scully is providing negative energy, but it's Mulder. What the what?!? Basically MacGuffin uses our own knowledge against us, and he thrives on doing that. 

What the hell is Lollapalozzo? We get insight into the downside of people with prognosticating abilities. Bruckman can't get hits when playing the lottery (he was pretty close, though) and he's compelled to be honest when talking with an insurance customer. (That guy really should have listened, right?) Even the murderer is afforded some personality. "Don't apologize, you're a better dancer than my last date," he says upon his initial run-in with Clyde.

I'm supposed to believe that's a real name? Mulder and Scully actually come off pretty smartly in this episode, jokes at Fox's expense aside. Fox is right about Yappi's leads being vague and easily interpreted as correct after the fact. Mr. Stupendous said the body was dumped somewhere, then it's found in a dumpster. That sets everyone a-tingle but Sculder ... and us. And they're aware that Bruckman knows more than he should. Within this context, there's still room for the traditional conflict between our leads. Mulder doesn't believe Clyde's the killer; Scully doesn't believe he's psychic.

The way Morgan looks at the world proves endlessly fascinating. Bruckman's theory about the dolls could be the most resonant piece of dialogue for me over the course of the whole series. "Why did this woman collect dolls? What was it about her life? Was it one specific moment when she suddenly said, 'I know ... dolls.' Or was it a whole series of things, starting when her parents first met and somehow combined in such a way that, in the end, she had no choice but to be a doll collector?" Darin thinks about these things. And now I do too. 

Morgan also throws in a premise that's begotten eternal discussion by the fan base -- Scully doesn't die. What did Clyde mean by that? What did Darin mean by that? Was there a premise behind that or was it just supposed to bug the snot out X-Philes? It's definitely done the latter. People are still pondering its meaning.

If my Miss Manners serves me right, that protrusion from his left cornea is a salad fork: Everything Morgan writes has layers upon layers, the through line of this story certainly would be interesting enough for a stand-alone episode. But he's got a lot of quips to share and questions to raise beyond that. And there's room for mere coincidence, not everything has to be of the supernatural variety. "If the future is already written, then why bother to do anything?" Fox asks Clyde. "Now you're catching on," he replies.

The sequence in which Bruckman recounts how he sees his own death is another highlight, telling us perhaps too much about Morgan's mental state at the time. In The Complete X-Files, Darin recalls watching the first season ep "Beyond the Sea" and wanting to do something in that vein. "My original intention was to be very dark and depressing. I ended up putting jokes in it just because I couldn't help myself."

Stop ... meta time: The Stupendous Yappi was written for and played by Jaap Broeker, David Duchovny's stand-in on the show. Broeker's eyebrow-shifting ability is truly dazzling. ... There's a great moment from the Season 3 blooper reel when Boyle is riding with Duchovny and Anderson and their car doesn't stop on cue. ... Morgan sort of commandeered Ritchie Valens' tale of flipping a coin for the last seat on Buddy Holly's chartered jet. The Big Bopper was ill and already scheduled to be on that plane, it was Valens who "won" the coin toss. ... Many of the guest characters in this ep are named for really people, including Bruckman -- a prolific writer-director from the silent film era. ... Stuart Charno, who played the killer, was married to one-time show writer Sara Charno.

Guest star of the week: Well, duh. Peter Boyle also got an Emmy for his standout take on Clyde Bruckman. Every moment is perfect, from the previously mentioned doll tirade to the way he details the type of pie Mulder steps on in the kitchen. In The Complete X-Files, Anderson and director David Nutter recalled how the late actor struggled with the ep, particularly since he had issues with mortality. None of that is evident in his performance. He's all in.